Mass Effect: Past, Pressure and Future
by Azrael.N
Summary: Cmdr. Nathan Anderson was the reluctant choice for the first human SPECTRE. He was chosen for his ability to withstand pressure and take punishment. He has the weight of the galaxy on his back, the Council riding him, and his past haunting him. If he cracks under the pressure, then all around him will fall. Based on ME1
1. Chapter 1

**Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Human Embassy 2183**

 _A transcript of a meeting between Admiral Steven Hackett, Captain David Anderson and Ambassador Donnell Udina._

Ambassador Udina- Well what about Shepard? She's a spacer. Lived aboard ships most of her life.

Captain Anderson- Military service runs in the family. Both her parents were in the Navy.

Admiral Hackett- She proved herself during the Blitz. Held off enemy forces on the ground before reinforcements arrived.

DA- She's one of the only reason's Elysium is still standing.

DU- We can't question her courage. However, we can question her age. She's far too young.

DA- She's still very capable. Her youth could be of advantage.

DU- I will not entrust such responsibility to someone so young. We need someone who will get the job done and has had experience in doing so.

SH- Shepard has proven she has experience beyond her years. Her conduct during her missions have shown she has great promise and leadership ability.

DA- Lieutenant Shepard could well be the person we are looking for. There aren't many as capable as her.

DU- You're right. There aren't many but there is one. Come on Captain, we all know you're dying to put his name in the mix.

DA- I'm not dying to put his name in the hat. In my honest opinion he's the only other choice. There isn't a soldier out there who's done more for humanity.

DU- We have almost nothing on him. Everything we have has been gathered since he joined the Alliance. All we have is that he grew up in the streets of London… after some unfortunate circumstances.

SH- That maybe true Udina. But he has shown that he's a survivor. He saw his entire unit die on Akuze. He could have some serious emotional scars.

DA- Every Soldier has scars. He's a survivor.

DU- Let's not forget what happened on Torfan. He got most of his unit killed.

DA- He gets the job done. No matter what the cost.

DU- Is that the kind of person we want protecting the Galaxy.

SH- That's the only kind of person that can protect the Galaxy.

DU- (Sigh) The council won't like this one. I'll make the call.

The three of them began looking through his Dossier and looking for ways to best present the candidate to the Council. Nihlus had given them a shortlist of Alliance personnel he would volunteer to the council for SPECTRE candidacy, after weeks of deliberation the Alliance had finally chosen their candidate. They knew he had the ability to do what was necessary, but at the end of the day, the Council would decide whether or not they felt he was capable of doing the job.

The biggest political decision humanity has ever made had just been decided. And their candidate for the 1st human SPECTRE was.

 **Commander Nathan Anderson.**

 _~o~o~o~o~o_

 **Weeks Later**

 **Location: Local Cluster, Sol System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

I stood looking outside the window into space, as earth was beginning to fade out of sight as the pilot flew closer and closer to the mass relay. A few hours ago the deep, serene blue of the oceans complimented the lush green forests of Africa began to fade into the darkness and soon I saw nothing but the void.

I left the XO's quarters a made my way towards the cockpit in order to supervise the pilot.

The FTL drive was engaged and in seconds we were in fast approach of the Charon relay. "The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence" The ship flew past Pluto and continued down its path.

I continued my path through the CIC. Corporal Jenkins saluted me as did Navigator Pressley. "We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination. The relay is hot acquiring approach vectors. All stations secure for transit" the pilot announced.

I entered the cockpit to find 3 people inside it. There were two humans sitting in the pilot's chairs and the Turian was standing in the centre with a business like demeanour. His arms were folded and the pistol was in clear sight. Almost as if he was daring someone to try something on him.

"The board is green. Approach run has begun". The ship glided towards the mass relay. The ship accelerated quickly after entering the relay.

"Hitting the relay in 3…2….1…." the ship all of a sudden jerked slightly. Some lost their balance but quickly regained their composure.

Joker began checking the system status "Thrusters… check… Navigation…. Check… Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift… just under 1500 K," he had a hint of pride in his voice.

"1500 is good. Your Captain will be pleased," the Turian praised before leaving the room.

"I hate that guy," Joker commented.

Alenko looked at him with some amusement. "Nihlus gave you a compliment… so you hate him?"

"Remembering to zip up your jumpsuit on your way out of the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us to the other side of the Galaxy and hit a target the size of a pin head. That's incredible," Joker ranted. "Besides, SPECTRE's are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid."

"You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project. They have the right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment," Alenko defended the Council.

"Yeah, that is the official story. But only and idiot believes the official story."

"Don't be naïve. They don't send SPECTRE's on a mission like this unless something big is going down," I reprimanded the Lieutenant.

"I still think you're both just being paranoid."

"Well, bad feelings are an occupational hazard. We don't go anywhere unless there's a good reason, so what are we doing here?" the pilot questioned.

"Joker! Status report."

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth system engaged. Everything looks solid."

"Good, find us a comm buoy and link us to the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

"Aye, aye Captain. Better brace yourself sir, I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant," the Captain groaned. Everyone in the cockpit shook their heads.

"Tell the Commander to meet me in the comm room for debriefing," the line was cut.

"You get that Commander?"

"Great you piss him off and now I have to deal with it."

"It's not my fault. The Captain's always a little pissed off," Joker defended himself.

"Only when he's talking to you Joker," Lt Alenko quipped.

I left the cockpit not acknowledging anyone in along the way. However, I was stopped by the ships Navigator. He was having a heated discussion with someone aboard the ship but abruptly stopped when I came into view. "Congratulations Commander looks like we had a smooth run. You heading down to talk to the Captain?"

"I'm giving him the status update now."

"With all due respect sir maybe he'll tell _you_ what's really going on around here."

I couldn't help but scowl at the way he said that, especially how he emphasised the " **you"** in the sentence **,** but I bit my tongue. "Good it looks like I'm not the only one with a functioning brain around here."

"So it's not just me. Why would they send Captain Anderson and a SPECTRE if we were only testing the stealth drive? SPECTREs don't go on routine shakedowns. It just doesn't add up."

"You don't trust Nihlus?"

"I don't like Turians in general. Runs in the family. My grandfather fought in the First Contact War. Lost a lot of friends when the Turians hit."

"Why the SPECTRE is here is on a need to know basis. I trust the Captain and so should you. Just follow the orders you were given."

"Understood Commander," the Pressley saluted before returning to his post.

I continued his path towards the comm room. Just as I was about to walk past them Corporal Jenkins put an arm in my path.

The Corporal saluted "So what do you think Commander. We won't be staying on Eden Prime for long will we? I can't wait to see some real action."

"I sincerely hope you're kidding. Corporal, your real action usually ends with me patching up crew members in the infirmary,"

Stupid kid actually wants to see action. That kind of attitude will get you killed almost as surely as running naked though a battlefield with a giant sign that says 'Kill Me JACKASS'.

"You need to calm down Jenkins. A good soldier stays cool. Even under fire."

"Sorry Commander but the wait is killing me. I've never been on a mission like this before. Not with a SPECTRE on board."

He's like a fucking kid in a game store "Just keep your head down and follow my orders and we won't have any problems."

"Easy for you to say. You proved yourself on Akuze, Torfan and Elysium. This is my big chance. I need to show the brass what I can do!"

"Then don't get too anxious. If you're in this for personal glory, you'll end up dead and you'll take your team with you. That's the legacy you'd leave behind. So don't play the hero, just do your job."

"Don't worry sir. I'm not going to screw this up," he still had that stupid grin on his face, "I still can't get over the fact that I met a real life SPECTRE. They protect the Galaxy at any cost. They operate above the law."

"Hey Commander you'd make a good SPECTRE. Like what happened on Torfan. That's what they're looking for. Success at any cost. Ruthless efficiency, show no mercy," what he thought may be praise is bringing up a lot of bad memories I would rather forget.

"Or when you held off an entire enemy fleet during the blitz almost single-handedly saving the colony."

"There was another person who helped me Corporal. Don't forget that," Dr Chakwas said.

"Let's not forget being forced to survive on Aku-"

That's it. I cut him off and damn near yelled "50 MARINES DIED THERE CORPORAL. Show some goddamned respect. What happened there shouldn't be glorified." I seethed. Akuze was the last place I wanted to be reminded of.

Jenkins looked genuinely sorry for what he said "I'm sorry Commander… I didn't mean to offend you it's just."

"I don't have time for this shit. Captain's waiting for me"

I pushed past Jenkins and into the comm room. I wasn't too surprised that the Captain wasn't there yet but I was surprised that Nihlus was there waiting for me.

"Commander Anderson. I was hoping you'd get here first. It will give us a chance to talk."

"What about?"

The SPECTRE began pacing around the small space, inspecting me and my form. He towered over me and I'm not short standing at 6'2. "I'm interested in this world we're going to- Eden Prime, I've heard it's quite beautiful."

What's his angle? "I'm a Marine. Not some tourist on holiday."

"It's more than just a tourist destination, isn't it, Shepard? Eden Prime is a symbol of your people. A perfect little world on the edges of your territory. Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, really?"

"Are you trying to scare me SPECTRE!"

"Your people are still newcomers Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?"

Captain Anderson walked into the room before I could inquire further into what Nihlus was talking about. "I think it's about time we told the Cmdr. what's really going on."

"This mission is more than just a simple shakedown run."

"I already figured that out."

"We're making a covert pick up on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth systems operational," Anderson explained "A research team recently unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It's Prothean."

So what! Some random scientists unearth a beacon from some regal species which opened the doorway to galactic civilization and now they want a fucking SPECTRE and a crew packed with the Alliance's best soldiers to pick it up. That doesn't make sense. Why not have a Council team pick it up.

"This is big Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward 200 years. But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study."

"Obviously, this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space."

"Why didn't we keep the beacon for ourselves?"

"You humans don't have the best reputation. Some species see you as too selfish. Too unpredictable. Too independent. Even dangerous."

"So you'd rather have us collared and leashed. So dependent on the Council that we can't think for ourselves!" I seethed.

So they sent a SPECTRE here to hold our hands so we don't fuck everything up. They send aliens to consolidate their power so humanity doesn't get an edge. "We can handle this on our own!" I growled

"Unless something goes wrong," Nihlus retorted.

"Relax Commander we need the council's help. They know more about the Protheans than we do. Besides, this is also a gesture of good will from the Alliance."

"That still doesn't explain him," I glared at Nihlus.

Anderson began to explain that I was up for SPECTRE candidacy and that Nihlus had put my name forward. He wasn't a racist like most of the Turians I've encountered he care more about my skills than he did my species. But at the root of the matter was the political agenda on the part of the Alliance. They were going to try and milk as much benefits as possible from my actions as they could again. I'm getting sick of being the poster boy.

"We should be getting close to Eden-"

"Captain! We've got a problem," Joker interrupted Anderson in the middle of his sentence.

"What's wrong Joker?"

"Transmission from Eden Prime sir. You'd better see this!"

A holo appeared in front us of Alliance soldiers being decimated by enemy fire. A woman in white Phoenix armour ordered the marine to get down as she continued to fight. The commanding officer was sending a distress signal requesting aid. The camera began to pan to a group and dumbstruck soldiers who looked to the sky. Each had their jaws on the ground and the will to win instantly escaped them. I thought I saw a giant squid for a second before the transmission ended.

"Reverse hold at 38.5," Captain Anderson instructed.

The video was pulled back to the time specified and I got a good look at the squid. It wasn't a squid. It was a fucking machine and it was gigantic. It looked like something straight out of a horror film. The red lightning that it emitted only made the construct more ominous; as if hell itself was splitting open and the devils hand was preparing to raze the ground. It was as if someone had ripped the sky open and hell itself was flooding open.

We made a plan to get the beacon off of Eden Prime as quickly and as stealthily as possible. I had to pick two people that would go with me on Eden Prime. Lt Alenko was the only combat ready man on board this ship that I was aware of. But then Corporal Jenkins came to mind. He was young and inexperienced but he knew the area better than any of us so I selected him also. Let's just hope that this mission doesn't get too fucked up.

 _~o~o~o~o~o_

 **Location: Exodus Cluster, Utopia System, Eden Prime**

We were dropped off in some field on top of a hill. I checked my Omni-tool to see where the beacon was. We had about a click away from the dig site.

"Jenkins we need to get to these coordinates. What's the quickest way to get there?" I asked whilst sending him the location.

The area we were in was too quiet for my liking. How is it possible that there's an invasion going on and we still couldn't hear a single gun being fired? And where was that machine? Something that big doesn't go unnoticed.

He scanned the terrain and proceeded to guide us. Alenko and I followed him to the bottom of the hill. I could hear some humming in the distance. Jenkins had ventured too far forward and we broke formation.

"Jenkins pull back; I have a bad feeling about this" I commanded.

But the kid didn't listen or he reacted too late. A group of drones flew into view as he stepped out of cover and the drones cut through his shields like butter.

Lt. Alenko and I quickly dispatched the remaining drones. He inspected Jenkins to see if there was any saving him. "He's gone. They ripped right through his shields."

I felt a pang of hurt and irritation as I stared at his lifeless corpse. "Stupid kid should've listened. And I shouldn't have let him lead even if it was for a minute" I snarled to myself. I pushed my feelings to the side "Leave him. We need to finish the mission."

"Aye, aye, sir."

We continued forward encountering some more attack drones but we were very careful. After what happened to Jenkins I need to make sure that the Lieutenant and I make it through alive.

"I've got some burned out buildings here, Shepard. A lot of bodies" Nihlus informed. "I'm going to check it out. I'll try to catch up with you at the dig site."

"Come on Lieutenant I want to be there when Nihlus finds the beacon," I instructed.

Upon turning at a tree we discovered a woman running into cover behind a giant rock. "Alenko I want you to relieve pressure to her left. I'll draw their attention to the right. GO!"

Alenko did exactly as I instructed and destroyed some of the robots on her left. I took out my shotgun and charged my barrier up. OK here goes nothing. I ran out of cover and blasted their heads off. The Alliance woman was mainly focusing on the drones which allowed the Lt. and I to handle the ground troops.

"Clear!"

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. You're the one in charge here, Sir?"

"I need a status report. Now!" I demanded!

"Oh, man… We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit. We tried to get off the distress call, but they cut off our communications. I've been fighting for my life ever since."

"Any idea what kind of enemy we're facing?"

"I think they're geth."

Lt Alenko stepped forward "Impossible, the geth haven't been seen beyond the veil in over 200 years. Why now?"

"They must have come for the beacon. The dig site is close. Just over that rise. It might still be there."

"Can you fight Williams?" I inquired to which she nodded. "Good then you're coming with us. Let's move out!"

 _~o~o~o~o~o_

It turns out that the beacon was moved from the initial dig site. We encountered some weird zombie crap on the way to meeting Nihlus at the spaceport over the cliff. I call them husks since it was a man impaled by a spike and suddenly becoming a zombie, a husk of what he used to be. We ran into a crazy, religious researcher and her assistant. I had to punch his lights out to stop him from doing something crazy, well that and he was seriously starting to piss me off.

We charged towards the spaceport and that was when I saw the most frightening thing. There was this mammoth ship. It completely dwarfed any alliance dreadnaught in existence. It had multiple arms and there was red lightning coming from it. The sound it made was horrifying and mind crushing. That was when it dawned on me that it was the same ship from the video.

"What is that? Off in the distance" Lt Alenko was bewildered and so was I.

"It's a ship. Look at the size of it!" Williams stated. It began to ascend into the sky, but for some reason it almost felt like it was staring me down.

We were snapped back into reality upon hearing geth fire in our direction. I remembered that Williams had a sniper rifle on her back. "Alenko, overload their shields. Williams I want you to snipe those I can't reach. GO!" I ordered.

Alenko overloaded their shields and messed up their circuitry, which worked perfectly with what I was going to do. I threw two grenades at the rock which the geth were using for cover. The formation was fragile so the blast caused the rocks to pile on top of the geth.

I had the displeasure of dealing with the husks. My shotgun made me ideal for the tasks. I never let a single one of them near me or my team.

Williams perched herself on top of a rock and got quite a few headshots in. With Alenko and I drawing their focus they couldn't hit her. Eventually we cleared the geth out. "CLEAR!" Williams joined the two of us at the space port.

I sent Alenko to investigate the dwellings to see if there was anything useful in them. "Commander you're going to want to see this."

He stood in front of a group of civilians. They were probably the only lucky bastards to survive this attack. Something about them gave me a bad vibe.

"Nobody move's a muscle until we know who you are!" I bellowed.

"Nice going Cole, I told you we should have stayed hidden."

"It's okay we're all on the same side here. We're just farmers. We've been hiding ever since that ship first showed up," Cole explained.

I doubt they'd have anything useful to tell me about the attack or the beacon. "Hey Cole, we're just a bunch of farmers. These guys are soldiers. Maybe we should give them the stuff."

"Geez Blake you've got to learn when to shut up," Cole hissed.

"If there's something you're not telling me…" I threatened.

"Some guys at the spaceport were running a small smuggling ring. Nothing major. In exchange for a cut of the profit we let them store it in the shed."

These guys aren't fucking serious! They stayed for their own greed not to hide from the geth. "You greedy bastards! You weren't running for your life! You were running to check on your merchandise."

"No it's not like that… I just knew there were some packages here. Something we could use. I found a pistol. Figured it would come in handy if those things came back, But you'll probably get more use out of it than we will."

I know the greedy son of a bitch is lying I can tell. If he thinks he can get away with it he's sorely mistaken. I grabbed Cole by the shoulder and pinned him up against the wall. "I'm only going to ask this once. Think long and hard before you lie to me again," I warned and aimed my pistol at the base of his skull.

"Are you sure all you've got is one lousy pistol."

"N-no… sir… I've got credits and an assault rifle too. Here take everything," he pleaded as he emptied his pocket of his credit chit and the pistol.

"Keep your money I'm no thief."

"Wait a minute Commander." Williams requested. "Who's your contact at the spaceport, Cole? What's his name?"

"He's not a bad guy, I don't want to get him in trouble. I'm not a snitch."

"I think you've got bigger concerns that that Cole," I cocked the pistol

"His name is Powell."

"No honour among thieves," Williams sighed.

"Please that's all I know," he pleaded.

"I should go," I dropped Cole on the ground and proceeded to the meet up point I had agreed with Nihlus. Something doesn't seem right. If Nihlus was there then why didn't he help us out with the geth? I got the answer as soon as I walked up to the platform where we agreed to meet.

Shit Nihlus. I cursed under my breath. The Turian SPECTRE was on the floor with a bullet wound in the back of his head. There is no way that a geth did this. His gun is holstered and his shields are down and I doubt he'd be careless enough to get complacent in the middle of an active battlefield. He wasn't killed in combat, killed by someone he trusted enough to drop his guard around them.

"A Turian… you know him?" Williams asked but I didn't answer. I was still thinking about who Nihlus could trust on this planet enough to completely drop his guard.

"He's a SPECTRE. He was with us on the Nor-" the lieutenant was interrupted by the fumbling behind the crates.

"Get out of there before I start shooting," I demanded

"Don't shoot, I'm human just like you."

"I like the way you hid behind those crates during the fight. Really helped us out. Thanks a lot," my lauded. Everyone picked up on my sarcastic tone. The Chief was trying to suppress a smirk.

"I don't even have a gun and I'm just a dockworker…I… you're messing with me," he finally picked up on my sarcasm. "Anyway my name is Powell and I saw the other Turian shoot him."

"What other Turian?"

He proceeded to explain how Nihlus was killed by another Turian named Saren. Apparently Saren was a friend of Nihlus' which would explain why he wasn't alert when he was killed. He informed us of where Saren was headed as well.

That was when I got to questioning him about Cole. He was stealing grenades from the soldiers and smuggling them. Williams wasn't happy one bit about it and neither am I. We're protecting these bastards and he's robbing us.

"Too many people died here for you to start jerking me around!" I snarled before aiming my shotgun at him and he gave us a bunch of experimental pistols, SMG's, Assault rifles and shotguns. Before running in the direction we came from.

 _~o~o~o~o~o_

When we got off of the cargo train we were immediately greeted by a geth entourage. Supressing fire had us pinned to the spot. There was nothing we could do until the gunfire stopped.

I could hear a feint humming amongst the gunfire and it was growing louder and louder. I looked into a space next to Williams; she had heard it too and began searching for its origin.

That was when I noticed the faint outline of and arm in contrast to the shadows which were created by the crates. It's a cloak. "Williams get down!" I roared. I pushed her into the ground just before the omni-blade could run through her spine.

Alenko trapped the cloaked geth in a stasis field and launched it into an abyss. I gave him the thumbs up. However, my pleasure was cut short when my visor was picking up an abnormal frequency coming from nearby. Once Williams had cleared the area I approached the navpoint my suit was giving me.

"It's a bomb," Alenko acknowledged.

"How much damage could it do?" Williams asked.

"This on its own would level this entire station. A couple of them could destroy the colony."

"Can you diffuse it?"

"Yeah just give me a second. Omni-gel would work but I've ran out." He tinkered with it for a minute and stood up. "Commander you aren't gonna like this," he grimaced "According to this thing there are three left on this tram station."

"This place is fucking huge! How much time do we have?" I demanded

"3 minutes 28 seconds."

Shit we don't have enough time to go to each of them as a group. "We need to split up. Alenko send the coordinates of each bomb to our Omni-tools. Rendezvous at platform 7 when the job's complete. GO!"

Once I had the coordinates I charged for the bomb furthest away from platform 1. As I had expected geth were guarding each bomb and in strong numbers. Doing this would not be easy.

Instead of subtlety I opted for speed. The ledge was 100m from where I was and there was a pole which rose high into the sky. I used a move that I helped invent during my time on earth; I call it the **Biotic Tether**. I grab on to something with my biotics and then use the link to draw me closer and with great speed.

I used the tether to propel me directly into the sky, so I could re-manoeuvred my body to arrow directly at the geth horde guarding the bomb. Mid-way through my descent I tossed a grenade in the centre of the crowd and it exploded on impact.

I was about to collide with the ground and I needed to capitalise on my momentum, with my biotics concentrated in my fists I punch the ground and caused the remaining geth to fall either off of the ledge or on the floor. Those that still remained I quickly dealt with them with my shot gun.

I slapped a lot of Omni-Gel on the bomb and to my delight the countdown had stopped. After making sure the area was clear I headed to the rendezvous point.

 _~o~o~o~o~o_

We'd finally reached the beacon after clearing through an army of geth. I had Alenko go through the crates to see if there was anything useful we could find.

"Captain, the beacon is secure. Requesting immediate extraction."

"Good Commander, we're on our way."

"By the way sir we have some bad news."

"What is it?"

"Nihlus sir… he-" I stopped to look at Chief Williams. She was approaching the beacon and a green aura had engulfed her. She was being drawn closer and closer to it in spite of her attempts to pull away.

I barged past Alenko and leapt to her side. The pull of this field was surprisingly strong, I wasn't going to let Williams get sucked into the beacon, I've already lost one soldier today there's no way I'm losing another. Using all of the strength I possessed I tossed Williams aside and she landed like a rag doll. Then my personal struggle against the Prothean beacon began. The force was too strong and it drew me before the beacon itself. My mind went numb.

Before I could even process what was happening to me there were images being burnt into my psyche. Incoherent screams invaded my mind and that same sound which that ship was making was boring through my skull and I could actually smell burning flesh. The air became thick with smoke which started clog my lungs. I could feel rain pounding against my skin, hear the parade of gunfire, fear gripping my heart like a vice, fire licking at my face, bullets destroying my knee and a whole concoction of emotions and feeling taking control of my senses. It was horrifying, watching and experiencing such destruction. It all became too much and soon darkness claimed me.

* * *

 **A/N  
**

 **Essentially Nate is Earthborn/Colonist, and he's Ruthless/Sole Survivor and a War Hero.**

 **In this story Nate is going to be a Vanguard. It's my favourite class because of the mixture of biotics and close range fighting. He's going to have some of the powers that only become available in ME2 such as charge, but I don't want him to know everything at the beginning, otherwise there's no room for improvement.**

 **Femshep will be introduced in the next chapter. And other ME2 and ME3 characters will have cameo appearances so see if you can spot them.**

 **This story is probably going to have about 25-30 chapters. So I hope you stay on for the ride.**

 **Please review and tell me what you think of the first chapter!**


	2. Expect me to kill you next time we meet

**Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

"Dr… Dr Chakwas I think he's waking up?" I heard a familiar woman holler. Wait a minute is Gunnery Chief Williams calling Dr Chakwas. I must be back aboard the Normandy, but if I'm back aboard the ship, why is Chief Williams here?

I sat up on the gurney and pressed my fist against my forehead to try and shake this headache. God it feels like someone is boring through my skull with a laser. Dr Chakwas strolled into my line of sight, wearing a pleased smile.

"You had us worried there, Anderson. How are you feeling?"

"Like the morning after shore leave" I groaned. Williams snorted in an effort to restrain the chuckle. "How long was I out?"

"About 15 hours. Something happened there with the beacon, I think."

"It's my fault. I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

"I expect better of my people Williams. Your actions damn near endangered the lives of your comrades," I scolded. I turned away from her to wipe the sleep from my eyes. From my peripheral vision I could see a hint of a frown donning her lips.

"Don't be so hard on her Commander. We have no idea what even set it off. Unfortunately, we'll never get the chance to find out."

"The Beacon exploded. A system overload, maybe. The blast knocked you out cold. The Lieutenant and I carried you back here to the ship."

"You are aware that Eden Prime has hospitals right."

"Listen, you're better off here than at some run of the mill hospital any day. Physically you're fine. But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves. I also noticed an increase in rapid eye movement, signs typically associated with intense dreaming."

"I saw... death. That's the best way I can describe it. I saw… it's indescribable, most of the images were unclear," I answered. However, what wasn't unclear was the feeling of fear and anger that I felt experiencing that vision

"Hmm… I had better add this to my report. It may- oh Captain Anderson."

The Captain marched into the room with his usual bravado. This time something was different. His steps were much heavier than normal; they were almost laboured. Something's wrong.

"How's our XO holding up, Doctor?"

"All readings are normal. I'd say the Commander is going to be fine."

"Glad to hear it. Anderson, I need to speak to you- in private."

Williams saluted the CO of the ship "Aye, aye Captain. I'll be in the mess if you need me."

"Sounds like that beacon hit you pretty hard Commander. You sure you're okay?"

"Chief Williams isn't part of the Normandy crew," I stated.

"I figured we could use a soldier like her. She's been reassigned to the Normandy."

"I don't want her on the ship, her actions led to the beacons destruction."

"I'm the Captain of this ship Commander and I want Williams on the crew," he put extra emphasis on our respective ranks to put his point across.

I put my hands over my face and apologised. "Sorry, I'm just really pissed off by the mission," I growled.

"How are you holding up Nate?"

"I'm sick and tired of people dying in my squad."

"What happened to Jenkins wasn't your fault. We all know the risks going into the job."

"Intel dropped the ball sir, we had no idea what we were walking into down there. That's why shit went to hell!" I seethed. My anger began to build and build to the point I had to punch the wall to relieve frustration.

"Geth haven't been outside the veil in two centuries Commander, nobody could have predicted this," He tried to reassure me, but it wasn't working.

"What was it you needed to talk to me about?"

Anderson explained to me about how the Council were probably going to lay the blame at my feet for everything that went down. After that he started to tell me about the SPECTRE who killed Nihlus. Saren was some big shot SPECTRE who was widely respected and has a hatred of humans.

We talked about what he could have possibly wanted from the beacon or what he could have possibly gained considering that it almost fried my brain. I tried to convince him not to tell the Council about my vision since it would undermine our entire argument. However, he was adamant that we should tell them in case I had the blueprints of some super weapon that Saren had designs on making. He also wanted to appease the Council by proving Saren was a traitor.

After the debriefing I was ordered to tell Joker to pull the bird into the Citadel. On my way out of the med-bay I was stopped by an anxious Chief Williams.

"I'm glad you're okay Commander, the crew could really use some good news after what happened to Jenkins."

"When your number comes up, it's over. His Did."

"That's grim commander. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. Not after Torfan? That must have been hell."

"Every time you kill it gets a little easier," I stated. She had a look in her eye which showed a mixture of fear and admiration

"With all due respect, I'm glad you're on our side."

"That you should. How are you holding up after Eden Prime?" I wondered. I know that watching your entire unit die is jarring.

"I've seen friends die before. Comes with being a marine. But to see my whole unit wiped out—And you never get used to seeing dead civilians. But things would have been a lot worse if you hadn't showed up."

"I failed my primary objective which was to retrieve the beacon intact and a SPECTRE is dead. I'm not entirely sure what good I actually did."

"You saved a lot of lives, Commander. It might be hard to keep that in perspective with what happened to Jenkins."

That stupid kid had to go and get himself killed. I knew I shouldn't have let him take point even for a second, if I'd been a better leader I would be aboard this ship with him, reprimanding him so bad that he'd wish he was dead. No… I have to push past this like everything else, but I mustn't forget it either.

"I'm not looking for a shoulder to cry on Williams. Just stay focused on your job."

She stood straight and saluted me "Understood sir!"

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Presidium, Council Chambers**

The preliminary meeting with the council didn't leave me optimistic about the future. Udina got handed the you're just a peon card and he didn't like it. Now some C-Sec stooge was going to be investigating my allegations against Saren. C-Sec is mostly Turian so I know exactly how this is going to turn out. I may as well do this by myself just to make sure the job actually gets done. Udina gave us the location of the Council Chambers and transmitted access codes to our respective omni-tools.

Avina had guided us through the Citadel toward the service elevator which led straight to the Council Chambers. This was going to be the first time I'd ever met the Citadel Council and I didn't have high expectations. Aliens have always been against humanity and so long as we didn't have any position of status, we would always be second class citizens.

In spite of my general distrust of aliens, I can understand that from their standpoint the mission was a failure. A SPECTRE was dead, the beacon was destroyed and to top it all off, I was pinning these failures on one of their golden boys, so I doubt they'll be in a good mood.

During the long journey I decided to take in the aesthetics of the Citadel. It was one of the few times I came here, I'd been offered assignments that took me here but I tended to pass them up. Too many aliens around for my liking, even now I'm not comfortable being surrounded by this many of them.

It looked like a paradise. With beautiful lakes stretching large distances as well as trees that helped make the place feel like an island. Even the architecture was a magnificent sight, with gleaming pristine buildings stretching as far as the eyes could see. It smelt pure, there was no scent to it other than the odour of those next to you. The people here were all dressed in suits and armour indicating their status.

And it all was so fucking fake.

Any time that a group of people wearing suits and dresses are gathered in a single area, a lot of bullshitting, backstabbing and double dealing going on. Everything on this part of the station is as real as the "sky" that's above my head right now.

The elevator doors opened after we punched in the access codes, revealing a beautiful picture. It was all artificially lit with fake fauna which I didn't recognise, I couldn't tell if it came from earth or some other planet. Towering fountains which pushed vast volumes of water into the air and a glass ceiling that allowed us to see the stars. I could see why the council spent a lot of time here, but with the stress they're under, I doubt they ever get to enjoy the view.

My train of thought was derailed by two bickering Turians. "Saren's hiding something! Give me more time. Stall them."

"Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous! Your investigation is over Garrus," the other Turian asserted before stomping away from scene.

The other Turian- Garrus was his name- faced me and tried to suss out who I was. "Commander Anderson?" he inquired to which I nodded "Garrus Vakarian, I was the officer who took charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

"Who were you just talking to?" Alenko asked.

"That was Executor Pallin, head of Citadel Security, my boss. He'll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council."

"Nice going by the way, screwing up my entire argument," I spat. I knew that the stooge would be a Turian and surprise, surprise he fucked it all up.

"Saren is a SPECTRE. Most of his activities are classified. I couldn't find anything solid. But I know he's up to something. 'I can feel it in my gut' as you humans like to say," Garrus defended himself.

"I think the Council's ready for us Commander," Williams reminded.

"Good luck Anderson, maybe the Council will listen to you," Garrus hoped. I looked back at him with curiosity, I could almost swear he was genuine.

Anderson led me up the stairs toward the Council meeting room. I wasn't surprised to see that I wasn't meeting them face to face. I mean it's pretty clear they already look down on everybody; they were on a perch far away, which was likely shielded by the best tech credits can buy.

"The geth attack is a matter of concern. But there is nothing to indicate that Saren was involved in any way," the asari explained.

"The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason," The Turian added.

"An eye witness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina yelled

"We've read the Eden Prime report, Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatised dockworker is hardly compelling proof," the Salarian argued.

Their smug arrogance was getting on my nerves, the confidence in which they spoke, knowing fully well that we could do nothing to wipe it off of them really pissed me off.

What happened next damn near sent me into a bloody rage. "I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow SPECTRE, and a friend," Saren announced as his holo appeared in front of us. He's a lot uglier than I first imagined.

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson shouted

"Captain Anderson, you always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me. And this must be your protégé. Or should I say your stray pet Commander Anderson. The one who let the beacon get destroyed."

He's goading me I know he is… I need to maintain my composure otherwise this all goes to hell "You're the one who destroyed the beacon and then tried to cover it up."

"Shift blame to cover your own failures. Like father like son I suppose. You've taught him Captain Anderson."

"But what else can you expect from a human," Saren sneered. The Council didn't bat an eyelash at the blatant racism on display in front of them just because of who it was aimed at.

If he wasn't going to restrain his tongue, then I see no reason why I should bite mine. "You can expect me to kill you the next time we meet," I threatened. Udina face palmed and shook his head dejectedly.

"Your species should learn its place Anderson. You're not ready to join the Council, you're not even ready to join the SPECTRE's," Saren declared.

"He has no right to say that! That's not his decision!" Udina asserted rather loudly.

The asari councillor looked at Udina as though he were a petulant child and rolled her eyes "Anderson's admission into the SPECTRE's is not the purpose of this meeting."

"This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, Councillor. And mine."

"He's hiding behind his position as a SPECTRE. You need to open your eyes!" I pleaded

"What we need is evidence and so far you've provided none," the Salarian pointed out.

"There's still one outstanding issue. Commander Anderson's vision. It may have been what triggered the beacon."

Now it was my turn to face palm. Way to go David, now they're going to think I'm a crazy person. That and that's reduced the likelihood that they'll ever take me seriously.

"Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?" Saren smirked.

"I agree. Our judgement must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation" the Turian councillor agreed.

"Do you have anything to else to add Commander Anderson?"

"You've already decided on what you're going to do. Nothing else I say will change your mind," I capitulated. I knew that this would be impossible to win from the get go. Politics aren't my strong suit, I'm more of a shoot your problem until it goes away kind of guy.

As expected Saren had gotten away with murder, literally. The Council were so far up their own asses that they were blind to what was in front of them and the worst part was that they honestly thought that they were right. The lack of evidence gives the Council a good excuse not to oust their golden boy, and I'm being used as the scapegoat, I fucking hate politics.

Something about Saren made my blood run cold. He didn't strike me as someone who was in full control of his mind, he was almost… programmed to act that way. His general demeanour gave me a shady vibe. I know for a fact that this Eden Prime thing is just the tip of the iceberg with him, there is a lot more to come. And things are only going to get worse.

Udina was busy moaning and whinging about how he got stuck with a lot like us and all that malarkey. We had to guide him back to the human embassy before he lost it completely. When we finally reached his office he decided to let rip.

"It was a mistake bringing you into that meeting Captain. You and Saren have too much history, it made the Council question our motives."

"Captain had every right to be there Ambassador," I interjected.

"And you! You've already done enough to jeopardise you SPECTRE candidacy. And the threat to Saren right in front of the Council just made you look like even more of a thug than they already think you are."

"Just why would they think I'm a thug."

"We all know about your gang past Commander, that threat made you seem like the rabid dog they already thought you were."

"With all due respect Ambassador, if the Commander didn't say it then I would have," Williams chimed in.

Udina rubbed the bridge of his nose, and through clenched teeth he snarled "I knew your relation to Anderson would bite us all in the ass. Now it looks like there's a family vendetta against Saren."

"I know Saren's working with the geth to exterminate humanity. Every colony we have is at risk, every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe," Anderson tried to get the conversation away from our personal lives.

I wanted to ask about his connection to Saren but I figured that would be a conversation better reserved for when we were alone. "We need to deal with Saren ourselves."

"As a SPECTRE, he's virtually untouchable. We need to find some way of exposing him."

"What about Garrus that C-Sec investigator? We saw him arguing with the Executor" Alenko suggested.

"That's right he was asking for more time to finish his report. Seems like he was close to finding something on Saren" Williams added.

"He's a Turian, I don't want him on our side" I declared.

That earned me a glare from the Captain and a questioning look from Alenko. Even Udina was frowning "Not all Turians are like Saren. If he can help we need to find him. I have a contact in C-Sec, who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin."

"Forget it they suspended Harkin last month. Drinking on the job, I won't waste my time with that loser." Anderson contended.

"You won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. The Commander will handle this."

"You can't just cut Captain Anderson out of this investigation," I argued.

"The Ambassador's right I need to step aside."

"I need to take care of some business. Captain, meet me in 5 minutes" Udina informed instructing us to leave the room.

We managed to get down stairs "Now that he's gone there's something I wanted to tell you."

"What is it Captain?" Williams wondered.

"There's someone waiting for you at the Apollo café not too far from here. Here are the coordinates, it's only one level below us."

"Why didn't you want Udina to hear this?" I asked.

"It's the other SPECTRE candidate. Udina doesn't know she's here on the Citadel and I want to keep it that way. I was going to transfer her to the Normandy, but now it's highly unlikely."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Don't worry, you're going to like this" he assured before returning to Udina's office.

He knows that I hate surprises so this had better not throw me off my guard. I followed Avina's instructions and soon found myself in the Apollo Café. It looked like one of the classier cafés and you could watch the cars fly by as well as the serene artificial sky being in full view.

I scanned the place to see just who was so important that Anderson had to-

"NATE" a voice bellowed from behind me and before I knew it I was being straddled from behind by a woman who always seemed to be at the centre of trouble wherever she went. She also happened to be the only person I'd consider a friend.

"Shepard, get off of my back" I groaned.

She got off of me and smiled. When I turned to face her, the first thing I noticed was that she was wearing civs. That shouldn't surprise me considering that Anderson said she was on shore leave.

"It's been so long!"

"I saw you 2 months ago, back when I left the Kilimanjaro."

"2 months is a really long time you know." She argued "You never called either, my mom was getting really annoyed."

"Tell Hannah that I'm sorry. But I've been busy getting the Normandy retrofitted and going on slaver raids."

"Yeah well the next time you ignore me for 2 months I'm gonna find you and kick your ass," she punched my arm.

"Umm Commander?" Alenko interjected. Rylee gave him and Williams a quick check up, her eyes were mainly fixated on the lieutenant, looks like Shepard's found her new target.

"Who are these people? Your new squad?"

"Yeah, I'm Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams."

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko."

"Nice to meet you guys, I'm 1st Lieutenant Rylee Shepard" that earned her a surprised look from Alenko, even Williams was shocked. Rylee was only 22 years old and she had already reached that high a rank which was extremely unusual. What had happened on Elysium played a big part in her reaching her current rank in spite of her age.

"Shepard, what are you doing here? Anderson said you were the other SPECTRE candidate, but he didn't say why he wanted to talk to you," I explained. Her eyes shot wide open; obviously someone hadn't told her that.

Her eyes popped open and her jaw dropped. She put her hand over her face "I was a SPECTRE candidate, is that what he wanted to tell me… wow."

"I may have just screwed up, I'm not even sure if I was meant to say that but it's too late for that now. What are you doing here?"

She snapped out of her trance and smiled, she then playfully smacked my arm and laughed "I'm on shore leave silly, just enjoying what the Citadel has to offer, before it's back to the Kilimanjaro. An hour ago Captain Anderson asked to meet me saying it was urgent, so what's so important."

We took a seat at one of the tables, where I explained to her what had happened on Eden Prime, with the geth, Nihlus, Saren and the Council. I told her that I needed to prove Saren was a traitor before he attacked any other human colonies.

"Sounds like this Saren is an arrogant piece of crap," She scoffed. "Whatever he got from that beacon must be really important if he was willing to destroy Eden Prime to achieve it."

"Personally, I'm more concerned about how the hell he's controlling the geth; I mean he's an organic" Ashley wondered.

"What is he planning to do with this new information? We don't even know where he is for Christ's sake" Kaidan added.

"These are all very good questions but we aren't going to find the answers here. We need to look for evidence and I know just who to talk to. There's a Volus called Barla Von, he works in the financial district on the other side of the Presidium," Rylee announced.

"How's a banker going to help us expose Saren?" I asked.

"This banker is connected to the Shadow Broker. If there's anything going on, on the Citadel then Barla Von knows about it."

Great just the person I don't want to fuck with, an entity with enough power and influence to make me disappear without a trace. I've dealt with the Broker a few times, the information has always been accurate and it has never led me astray but I don't trust anyone I don't meet face to face.

"Alright, we are going to split up. Rylee send Alenko the Navpoint for the Barla Von's bank. I want you and Williams to ask him about Saren, his associates and anything that I can use to discredit him. I'm going to Chora's Den to investigate this Harkin."

"I'm coming too Nate and don't even think about saying no, because you know I'm not taking no for an answer."

"You're on shore leave, enjoy it while you can."

"I think stopping Saren is more important than sightseeing on the Citadel anyway. Besides, I'm headed to Chora's Den with or without you to speak to this Harkin." She stood up and strolled towards the exit of the café "Are you coming or not."

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and despite myself, I found myself smiling at the situation. Of course Rylee would help, what else was I expecting. "Williams, Alenko keep me posted."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards, Chora's Den**

We paid at the rapid transit terminal by the human embassy to take us to Chora's Den. I didn't even know the Citadel had these, why did I even bother walking to the Council Chambers to the embassy anyway?

Outside of Chora's Den, you could already hear the stereotypical club music, fast paced, catchy and infectious. I always wondered what the appeal was to places like this, back on earth my friends would always try to get into places like these even though we were under age. Personally, I thought it was a waste of time. Upon entering the… 'establishment' I immediately saw what drew the clientele here. It was a strip club. Everywhere you turned there was someone shaking their ass in someone else's face and a couple of people at the bar.

Rylee asked the bartender where Harkin was and she pointed to the obviously drunk human, who was slumped against his chair. But what really drew my attention was the two Krogan fighting in front of Harkin.

"Back off Wrex. Fist told us to take you down if you showed up."

"What are you waiting for? I'm standing right here. This is Fists only chance. If he's smart he'll take it."

"He's not coming out, Wrex. End of story."

"This story is just beginning," Wrex warned. He started walking towards us and pushed us aside. "Out of my way human, I have no quarrel with you."

"What was that all about?" Rylee asked

"Doesn't matter, it doesn't concern us and personally I wouldn't want to get in that Wrex's way. Besides, we have a mission remember."

"Hey there sweetheart, looking for some fun? 'Cause I gotta say you have an amazing body," Harkin beckoned. I put a protective arm in front of Rylee "Why don't you sit your sweet, little ass beside old Harkin? Have a drink and see where this goes," the C-Sec officer leered.

Rylee cringed at the man who, more likely than not, was at least 20 years older than her "I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself, I doubt your military boyfriend would've been too keen. A little advice lover boy, if you're going to wear an alliance get up, it had better be armour. Wearing a t-shirt and bottoms isn't gonna cut it when batarians decide to try and shoot you up."

"Noted. Now tell me where the C-Sec officer Garrus is."

"Garrus? Ha! You must be one of Captain Anderson's crew. Poor bastard is still trying to bring Saren down eh? I know where Garrus is. But I'm going to need two things. Firstly, did the Captain let you in on his big secret?"

"Just tell me where Garrus is before this gets ugly"

"But it's all related don't you see? The captain used to be a SPECTRE. Didn't know that, did you? It's all very hush, hush. The first human ever given that honor. And then he blew it. Screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out. Of course he blames Saren. Says the Turian set him up."

Rylee asked Harkin about Garrus. Apparently the Turian was a hot-headed idealist, trying to save the world and didn't get along with authority. She asked about his life in C-Sec and he bitched about how he got in trouble over drinking on the job, embezzlement and mistreating suspects. He literally had no redeeming qualities and he refused to change. And then she asked about Captain Anderson. He started taking shots at him and tried to say he didn't deserve his accolades, he even poked fun at his SPECTRE status.

He wore this arrogant smirk on his face that was driving me insane. It was the same smirk which Saren had during the meeting with the Council. It was then I decided to let out a little frustration.

I lifted Harkin and threw him up against the wall, and with a hard punch I hit him in the stomach. "Actually he did tell me. Before you tell the story get the fucking facts straight." I picked him up and threw him up against the wall again "One, he was never a SPECTRE, he was a candidate" and again I threw him against the wall "Two, you don't get kicked out of the SPECTRE's, the council has you killed and thirdly" this time let him rest

"You were right, he never told me about Saren's involvement, but that just makes me want to kill the bastard even more" I smirked. I wasn't using any real force against Harkin, well except for the punch.

"Now Harkin, when you get your breath back you're going to tell us where Garrus is. Otherwise my friend here will shoot you" Rylee explained to Harkin. The fear in his eyes was clear when I had my gun aimed at his head.

"He went to speak to Dr Michel over at the med clinic on the other side of the wards" he wheezed.

I holstered my pistol "Change your ways Harkin, you represent humanity in C-Sec. Keep this shit up, our reputation will continue to plummet, and if it does. You're dead."

We headed to the exit and through my peripheral vision I noticed a group of people start to leave. In fact, they had been eyeing us up ever since we'd entered Chora's Den. "Rylee I think we have a tail."

"Try 5 tails."

"Most probably Saren's men. That equipment looks like it's high quality."

"This is bad Nate these are armoured mercs and we're both in our civs." She panicked. At least she was wearing trousers she could move in.

"Stay close to me. When we get out we run to the nearest cover and I erect a barrier. Ready."

"Ready!"

I let Rylee exit first and she made a beeline for the corner, with me closely behind her. I threw up a barrier in case the bullets began to fly. Luckily for me they didn't have enough time to take their guns out.

"You got a sidearm?" I asked. Rylee nodded and took it out.

I provided covering fire, allowing Rylee to scan the field. "They're flanking us!" she shouted.

"Split up!" we shouted simultaneously.

I launched a shockwave two of the mercenaries, sending them into the wall, however one of them had their barriers up and started firing. I ran towards Rylee hoping to avoid him. I hid behind one of the pillars near the entrance. Bullets whizzed past my ears, causing me to flinch. Shit if this guy starts advancing in on me I'm dead.

I shot the pressurised can next to him and it blew up releasing smoke. I would have tried running toward the door but he was still firing his assault rifle. I have to wait for it to overheat before I can get out of here.

Fortunately for me, Rylee was doing well. I turned to hear the screams of one of the mercenaries being thrown off the ledge into the parking lot below. The resulting crash of his body on the car made the alarm go off. That still left four to go.

When I heard the alarm signalling the gun had overheated, I began firing at the armoured mercenary and quickly found that my weapons were just tickling him. Then the smoke cleared and he had a clear line of sight. He threw a sticky grenade at the pillar. At this distance I'll be killed even if I erect a barrier.

I need to get out of here, if I don't then I'm going to die. I don't have a choice I'm going to have to run out of here… no I don't have to run.

I extended my biotic tether towards a pillar on the far side of the room. Come on this has to work!

I was flung at a high speed in that direction. Fortunately for me, one of the mercenaries was just getting out of cover, and I managed to use him to cushion my landing. Cushion is a very strong word. More like not kill me, but still leave me fairly banged up. I saw the floor slowly becoming red, shit I'm bleeding. My ribs hurt like crazy, so breathing was a bitch. My abdomen has been cut up and so has my right thigh, making movement a real bitch. In short LIFE IS A BITCH!

I crawled to cover to prevent someone from picking me off. That guy I just took out was one of Rylee's targets, which still left the three I was meant to deal with. The two I had knocked out with my shockwave earlier were starting to come to, and the fucking Terminator was on the lookout for me. I need to get out of this alive.

Rylee ran up to me and her face showed concern. But, just as she was about to lift me to my feet, they began to fire on her, forcing her to roll into cover. She dragged me along the ground into another hiding spot.

"We need to get out of here."

"NO SHIT!" I cursed. It was hurting me to even snarl right now. Note to self, now I'm dealing with SPECTRE's, only carry top of the line shit. Saren's men are going to be very well armed and alliance crap just isn't cutting it.

"Not only the only exit is being guarded by one of the mercs, but our weapons are useless. Who are these guys?"

I sat up with a grunt, "Probably Sarens men. He knows what we're trying to do… urgh… and he needs us out of the way," I panted. "On the bright side, this confirms that Garrus is on to something."

"So what's our next move because I'm certain they're coming for us right now."

"It's almost impossible to think with that damned alarm going…" alarm… it's because that merc was thrown onto the car… that's it. "We need a distraction,"

She responded by throwing a nearby fire extinguisher at the mercenaries and shooting it. The foam flew everywhere and it would probably by us about ten seconds.

Adrenaline started running through my veins and the pain was becoming numb. I grabbed Rylee and we jumped off of the ledge into the parking lot. I used my biotics to slow our descent down. When we landed we had to get out of the firing line.

"Follow them!" one of the mercs bellowed.

"Alright, now what. This stairway is one way. And we couldn't make it out before they arrive, even if you could move properly."

"Find a car made before 2174," I ordered.

"What!"

"JUST DO WHAT I SAID!"

She lifted me up and helped me limp my way around the parking lot. "What's the plan?"

"I'm going to hotwire one of the cars. You're going to drive out, simple. Over there," I instructed after finding the ideal car.

"Why does it have to be pre-74?"

"Because that was the last time I did this. I didn't feel like trying this with a later model only for it not to work." Just before I shot the window, Rylee stopped me.

"Hold on," Rylee said before taking both our guns and standing on top of the car. She began firing at every car in the car park and almost all of their alarms rang loud through the car park. Then she stood back and shot the cars window.

"That should buy us some time," she stated. She reached inside and unlocked the car before shoving me inside.

Whilst I did my thing, Rylee sifted through the back of the car hoping to find some sort of weapon or something to fashion a grenade out of. What was that combination again? Wheel, turn signal, head lights…. Umm fuck!

"There's a strapon back here," she cringed.

"I really don't care right now. We have other things to worry about."

"Yeah like the mercs who've just entered the parking lot,"

"Shit!" I cursed. Looks like I have to hurry even more than I already was.

Think Nate think! It was you, Isaiah(Zay), Aldis and Jaden. Kay was distracting the police and we had to wire the car and pick him up. Zay did something it… turn signal left-right… window screen wipers…. I remember.

I worked the combination and the car sprang to life. "Alright there we go. Get us out of here."

Rylee managed to lift the car and fly it towards one of the windows opposite to the stair case. The Mercs started sprinting towards us. I grabbed the two guns and overloaded the heatsink so they could act as grenades. I launched them out of the car and the explosion shattered the glass completely.

We made it.

* * *

 **AN- Nate is going to be an asshole renagon. So he's probably 80% Renegade. Warning for you now. You'll probably dislike him a lot at the start of the story but I want him to grow into a more likeable character as the story progresses. If anyone has any suggestions or advice about how I can improve his character please tell me.**

 **The next chapter is going to wrap up the whole disgrace Saren missions and moves on to the rest of the story.**


	3. You wanted proof There it is

**Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Upper Wards**

After that skirmish in Chora's Den we went to Rylee's place in the Wards to armour up. Alenko and Williams had spoken to Barla Von and they were headed to C-Sec Academy to meet a Krogan mercenary called Wrex. I was actually hoping to stay out of his way after what happened in Chora's Den but it looks unavoidable now.

When we first arrived, we inspected my ribs. Neither of us were doctors so our first instinct was to slap some medi-gel on them to numb the pain. But that was having a limited effect.

While we were driving I instructed one of the crew members to bring my armour and weapons to Rylee's apartment. In retrospect, I probably should have requested for the doctor to come too, but it's too late for that now.

"Hurry Rylee, we don't know how much longer Garrus is going to be at the clinic."

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm almost done I'm just strapping my sniper. It's not light like those itty bitty shotguns you tote."

"Funny Shepard, now come on, I would have left a while ago if I knew my way around the wards."

"The clinic isn't far from here. It'll take us like 2 minutes to walk there," she explained before forcing her helmet on. The pressurised lock hissed and the steam slowly disappeared

"It's been a while since we've done this," she acknowledged

"It's only been two years. You better not have gotten sloppy without me Shepard otherwise I will kick your ass."

"As if you could," she chuckled before stepping out into the wards.

She was right about the clinics location. It was just one level below her apartment, hell I could see it from her door. We were walking towards it when an Asian woman called for Rylee's attention. I decided to go ahead without her since we didn't know when Garrus was leaving, or if he was even there.

Upon opening the door, it was clear I was stepping into the centre of a hostile situation. Garrus was crouching on the floor, making his way into cover. "I didn't tell anyone I swear!" A frightened French woman pleaded.

"That was smart, Doc. Now if Garrus comes around, you stay smart. Keep your mouth shut or we'll…" The thug squinted his eyes trying to recognise me and instead of aiming the gun at me, he grabbed Dr Michel and used her as a human shield "Who are you!?"

"Let her go!" I commanded.

Garrus used this as an opportunity to get out of cover and he shot the thug in the head and the Doctor was perfectly fine. Shit that was amazing, that shot was almost impossible and he pulled it off like it was nothing.

The other thugs took notice and backed up. Once the doctor was safely behind cover and out of range, I threw a shockwave in their direction and they were sent crashing through the window and to their deaths. I love group kills; they make everything so much easier.

"Perfect timing, Anderson. Gave me a clear shot at that bastard."

"That was some shot."

"Sometimes you get lucky," he shrugged.

Rylee ran into the clinic, with her gun pointed at us "What the hell, I heard gunshots and got here as quickly as possible."

Garrus approached the area where Dr Michelle was hiding and helped her to her feet "Dr Michel are you alright."

"No I'm okay, thanks to all of you."

Whilst he helped her over to us I explained what happened to Rylee.

"Why were they threatening you? Who do they work for?" I inquired. Rylee nudged me in my stomach and gave me a pissed off look.

"I know those men hurt you. But if you tell us who they work for, then we can protect you," Rylee said.

"They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the Quarian"

"Does this have anything to do with the investigation into Saren?" I questioned

The Dr told us about a Quarian who had been shot but was too scared to state the reason why. She wanted to trade information with the Shadow Broker in exchange for a safe place to hide. She told her to talk to Fist since he was an agent of the Shadow Broker, but Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker to work for Saren. Real stupid move, unless what Saren gained from the beacon was worth doing anything for. Shit what is it that's in my brain?!

But for Saren to want a Quarian this bad, it must mean she has something huge on him, she may even have evidence that proves he's a traitor. Her information had something to do with Geth and that was enough for me. I am going to get that information out of Fist if it's the last thing I do.

"This is your show, Commander. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you."

"I don't need a Turian shooting me in the back when I least expect it," I spat.

Garrus started shaking with anger "All Turians are not the same. I'm not like Saren. I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation. But I knew what was really going on. Saren's a traitor to the Council and a disgrace to my people."

I'm not sure whether or not it was my need for allies, his speech or Rylee staring daggers into the back of my head but I actually believed in what Garrus was telling me. The passion which he displayed was admirable, he had convinced me that he was genuine. I get it from his point of view, if there was a human who was sullying the name of our species, then I would have to kill him.

"Welcome aboard Garrus."

"You know we're not the only ones after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a Krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out."

"Aren't Kaidan and Ashley meeting him right now?"

I used my omnitool to tell them to hold Wrex up until I got there, but from the sound of things he was being detained by C-Sec for making threats at Fist. Garrus said he'd deal with that and get Wrex released.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards, C-Sec Academy**

When we got out of the elevator, Alenko and Williams greeted us and led us to where Wrex was being released.

"Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar. Stay away from him."

"I don't take orders from you," the Krogan dismissed.

"This is your only warning, Wrex."

"You should warn Fist. I will kill him."

"You want me to arrest you?"

"I want you to try," a reptilian smile donned the bounty hunter's lips.

The C-Sec officer began to cower as the size of Wrex truly dawned on him. He was soon relieved when the mercenary walked away "Go on. Get out of here!" he hollered.

He was about to walk past us before I put an arm forward. "Do I know you, human?"

"My name's Anderson. I'm going after Fist and I heard that you might be interested"

"Anderson? Commander Anderson? I've heard a lot about you. We're both warriors, Anderson. Out of respect, I'll give you fair warning. I'm going to kill fist."

"I'll let you do that after I'm done with him."

"How do I know that you're not here to help him escape?"

"Because I need Fist to take down Saren. He has information critical to my mission about a Quarian."

Wrex appeared pensive. He was pondering what I had just told him "Saren… hmm I guess it makes sense. The Broker told me about his involvement with the Turian."

"Saren was responsible for the attack on Eden Prime. We can't let him get away with that," Alenko piped in.

"That would explain why I was told to watch out for Geth." Wrex was piecing together what he was told to complete the puzzle.

"Why would you take the job if you didn't understand all of the details?" I wondered.

"In my line of work the less you know the better. It makes completing the job a lot easier."

Rylee pushed past me and approached the big Krogan. I subtly reached for my pistol and readied myself in case this became bloody. It doesn't look like we're getting any closer to convincing him to help "Fist knows your coming, he probably has 20 mercenaries protecting him," Rylee explained.

"How can you possibly know that human?" Wrex asked Rylee.

"I hacked the C-Sec communication network a couple of hours we met in Apollo. Anderson said we needed to communicate in secret so I gave it a shot. I honestly thought it would be a lot harder to get into their communications network."

"Did you get into anything else?" I asked.

"No. It was just the communications network."

"Shit it's like I thought. Someone in the Communications sector is being paid off. We've been receiving less intel from intercepted communications and now I know why. I'll have to tell Pallin about this…"

"Next time he should spring for better software. As I was saying, that C-Sec officer you scared off is on Fist's payroll. I just heard him tell Fist you were coming, and Fist responded that he had 20 of the best mercenaries money could buy"

"Then he's obviously lying" Wrex stated

"Why?" Rylee asked

"Because he doesn't have me!" Wrex responded proudly.

Whilst his eyes were focused on Rylee I holstered my pistol.

"You'd be better off coming with us that on your own" Williams suggested

It didn't take long for Wrex to weigh up his options. "My people have a saying. Seek the enemy of my enemy, and you will find a friend"

It brought a smile to my face hearing Wrex say those words, from them I could tell the kind of person I was dealing with and I knew we could work together. "I think we're going to get along just fine, Wrex"

"Let's go. I'd hate to keep Fist waiting"

"By the way, Anderson. The next time you reach for a sidearm with the intention of shooting me. I'll rip you in half," the Krogan snarled.

I chose not to respond to him and just headed for the elevator.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards, Chora's Den**

During our approach of the grungy night club it was becoming obvious that Fist was ready for us. People were leaving the club in droves trying to get back to their own homes. The Wards were almost completely empty, and with C-Sec on his payroll I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are protecting the club.

"Okay people there are 6 of us and 20 of them. We can do this, I know how capable all of you are and I know we won't lose a single man. We've gone over the plan, Wrex and I charge at them to throw the off guard, Williams and Alenko follow shortly after and finally Garrus and Rylee watch our backs"

"This should be fun" the Krogan Warlord, cheered whilst cocking his shotgun.

"Kaidan, Wrex! SHOCKWAVE"

On my queue we each sent a shockwave in three directions, this would have hit anyone capable of rushing for the door so all we'd have to worry about was long distance fire.

From what I remembered the Den looked like in my first encounter with Harkin, I slid into cover. The only problem with this cover was that it left my back exposed. Vakarian had better be as good as he claims to be.

I sent a surveillance drone out to give me an idea of my surroundings. There were currently 13 active hostiles and 10 of them were being engaged by my squad. The only mercenaries that weren't currently engaged were in the back ranks looking for a headshot.

"Vakarian's on my six," I roared. The Turian changed his aim and the sickening crack of a sniper rifles fire rung through the air. Okay, that's 12 left.

With Vakarian's focus now on the snipers, it was now up to me to entertain those he abandoned. Rylee had an asari biotic and a Krogan pinned down behind the entrance to Fist's private lounge. But if I go out there now to take them out, the snipers will blow my head off.

I activated my Barrier and ran behind another crate with a better vantage point of the battlefield. This allowed me to get a good look at the biotic. I through a Pull field in her direction and threw the asari straight into Wrex's path and let him deal with her. That left the Krogan to me. "Shepard, sit-rep on those snipers."

"Vakarian, Williams and I have dealt with them."

"Good," and with that I charged straight at the Krogan. The impact sent a shockwave that cracked the glass table. The hit caused the him to stumbled backward into the wall.

I looked up at him with a smirk and he looked down with fear. We both knew that he was going to die and I quickly obliged. A slug at point black range into his chest caused him to slide down the wall, completely devoid of life.

I received an update from the drone. All hostiles had been terminated but only 19 bodies were counted. When I called it up there were 12 dead and 7 unconscious. That means one is either in hiding or cloaked.

I turned sharply to the rest of my squad. Before I could say a word a grenade latched itself to the wall which I had just turned away from. Williams was the only one to spot it and was already making a beeline towards me. She pushed me across the room, but the momentum wasn't enough for her to get out of the blast radius. She was launched through one of the stripper poles and slid back down the wall she crashed into.

"Deploying wide-area overload," Rylee declared. She must have seen the grenade being thrown as well. When the electric pulse was sent through the other half of the club, the last hostiles cloak got shorted out. Wrex managed to deal with her quickly enough.

I ran over to Williams to inspect her condition. Thankfully, she was still breathing, albeit uncomfortably. Her shoulder was dislocated and from how she was breathing, I'd say she had a few cracked ribs. She's tougher than I initially gave her credit for.

"I guess we're even Commander, you pulled me out of the beacon. I pull you out of the blast range," she laughed.

"I guess we are. Thanks Chief," I chuckled despite myself.

"I would say anytime. But I really don't want to make this a habit."

"One of us is going to have to take her back to the Normandy," I suggested.

There was no way that Wrex would listen and a Turian showing up with a wounded human at the Alliance's doorstep may not go over too well. I need someone I can trust so Rylee stays. "Alenko take Williams back to Normandy. Radio Captain Anderson and update him on our situation."

"Yes Sir!" he picked Williams up as carefully as he could and left the den

I opened the door only to find two more people aiming guns at us. The only difference being that they were wearing civilian clothes and their guns were standard issue instead of the customised shit the mercs were carrying.

"Stop right there! Don't come any closer" one of them barked,

"Warehouse workers. All the real guards must be dead" Garrus whispered

"Stay back or we'll shoot"

"Shepard, handle this" I ordered

"Gladly" she smirked "Look behind me and you'll see the corpses of the twenty top of the line mercenaries your boss hired. Each and every one of them was killed by us. Do you really stand a chance?" she maintained the same arrogant smirk and confident body language.

They promptly took their opportunity to ran and escaped through the front entrance. "Nicely handled Shepard" Garrus complimented

We continued through to Fists office. I skirted along the walls of the room, just as I was about to turn, a turret began firing at me. The battle didn't take long. All Rylee had to do was lay another wide area overload and the turrets were disabled.

Fist dropped his weapons and surrendered. "Wait! Don't kill me! I Surrender"

"Tell me where the Quarian is and I won't have to shoot you in the kneecaps"

"She's not here. I don't know where she is. That's the truth!"

"He's no use to you now. Let me kill him"

"Wait! Wait! I don't know where the Quarian is. But I know where you can find her. The Quarian isn't here. Said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself"

"Face to face? Impossible! Even I was hired through an agent"

He took the opportunity to get back to his feet "Nobody meets the Shadow Broker. Ever. Even I don't know his true identity. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set up a meeting. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

"Tell me where that meeting is, before I blow your lying head off" I threatened by aiming my gun at his head.

"Here on the wards. The back alley by the markets. She's supposed to be meeting them right now. You can make it if you hurry."

That looks like all of the useful intel I'm going to get out of him. "Wrex" was all I needed to say and the Krogan obliged. Fist was dead within seconds.

"Nate what the fuck!" Rylee shouted "We didn't need to kill him."

"He had two of the most dangerous people in the galaxy coming after him. First the Shadow Broker and now Saren since he just gave up information that's gonna fuck him over. He is going to be dead within 24 standard hours. Now gather any important information in this room and meet us by the markets," I explained.

"Fine, but this isn't over" she warned.

"On the double, that Quarian is as good as dead if we don't hurry."

 ** _~o~o~o~o~o_**

After dealing with Fist and the rest of his forces, that flooded the den whilst we dealt with him. We rushed over to save the Quarian. Thankfully, Saren underestimated her abilities and she managed to blindside his forces by throwing a grenade. We managed to clear out the rest of his forces and get her out of the area before C-Sec arrived.

I was impressed at how she had conducted herself in that environment, her shot gun kept anyone from getting close enough to do any real damage. She looked incredibly young, I'm not good at guessing alien ages, but I would say she's in adolescence, if not a couple of years older.

She was called _Tali_ ' _Zorah nar Rayya_ and she had evidence of Saren's treachery. She had fought some geth during her pilgrimage and removed its memory core and she snagged a recording of Saren implicating himself. Apparently he had an accomplice in his invasion of Eden Prime.

I allowed Tali to join us since she wanted Saren dead as much as the rest of us. She also proved useful in the back alley. The only downside was now I had 3 aliens in the squad with me. It's not exactly the most comforting feeling in the world. But if these Reapers Saren's talking about are half as terrifying as my visions show, then I need all the help I can get.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Presidium, Council Chambers**

 **Saren: Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit.**

 **Female: And one step closer to the return of the reapers**

"You wanted proof. There it is" Udina announced

"This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador," the Turian councillor begrudgingly admitted. "Saren will be stripped of his SPECTRE status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes."

"I recognise the other voice, the one speaking to Saren. Matriarch Benezia", the asari councillor said.

"She must be working with the geth too," I speculated.

"Matriarch Benezia, is a powerful biotic, and she has many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren,"

"I'm more interested in the Reapers. What do you know about them?" the Salarian councillor asked.

For fucks sake couldn't they just let one thing slide? Now it's time for them to disregard the vision and dismiss them as myths. The Turian councillor took the opportunity with open hands and slammed the theory down. And of course the other Councillors agreed; there are times that I honestly believe that the three of them all share one mind. Udina tried to convince the Council to protect the human colonies but of course they didn't care.

"I'm sick of this council and its anti-human bullsh-"

"Ambassador, there is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies" the asari interjected.

"No! It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the SPECTRES."

"You Turians must have a funny definition of responsible. your best SPECTRE led an attack on an innocent human colony." Rylee countered.

"She's right! It was a Turian SPECTRE who betrayed the council. And it was a human who exposed him. I've earned this."

The three councillors each exchanged looks and tapped their terminals. They then proceeded to bore me with a rehearsed, impersonal speech which they probably dole out to every SPECTRE; before giving me my assignment which was to stop Saren no matter what the cost. Afterwards Udina and Anderson said they were going to make arrangements for me to get my own ship and crew.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Normandy Docking Bay**

I got out of the elevator with Rylee, Garrus, Wrex and Tali to meet up with the Captain and ambassador.

"I've got good news for you Commander. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is yours now," Udina announced.

"She's quick and quiet and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a SPECTRE. Treat her well, Commander," Captain Anderson added.

"This is Bullshit! The Normandy belongs to you." I argued.

"You needed your own ship. A SPECTRE can't answer to anyone but the Council. And it's time for me to step down."

"I want the truth Captain, you owe me that much."

"To be honest I volunteered the Normandy to you. The Normandy is the best ship the Alliance has and the most suitable for your mission. Procuring another ship and assembling another crew would waste valuable time; time you could use to hunt Saren."

I couldn't really argue with his logic, finding another ship as good as this one would waste too much time, but it doesn't feel right robbing David of his ship.

"Saren is going to die for what he's done," I promised.

"Saren's gone. Don't even try to go after him. But we know what he's after; the conduit. He's got his geth scouring the Traverse looking for clues."

"What about the Reapers?" I asked.

"I'm with the Council on this one Commander, I'm not even sure they really exist." Udina said.

"But if they do exist, the Conduit's the key to bringing them back. Stop Saren from getting the Conduit and we stop the Reapers from returning" Anderson countered.

"I'll stop him" I declared. In response Captain gave me a nod of approval.

"We have a lead for you. Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on the recording. She has a daughter, a scientist who specialises in Protheans. We don't know if she's involved but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name is Liara. Dr Liara T'Soni. We have reports she was exploring an archaeological dig on one of the worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster."

"Looks like I'm going to find me a doctor. Do you have any clue what planet in the Artemis Tau cluster she is or even the system."

"Unfortunately no, that's going to be up to you to find out," Udina stated. Fan-fucking-tastic. That system is huge, searching for her will be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

"It's your mission now Commander. You're a SPECTRE now. You don't answer to us."

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up."

"I'll handle Saren; the political blowback is your problem."

"Not exactly the answer I was looking for Anderson. Remember; you were a human long before you were a SPECTRE. I have a meeting to get to. The Captain can answer whatever questions you may have," were the last words the ambassador said before heading into the elevator.

Now that Udina was gone, we could have an actual conversation. "How are you holding up?" I asked. Even if he volunteered the Normandy, it must still sting to be in his situation.

"To be honest this isn't how I pictured my career coming to an end. Pushing papers really isn't my thing."

"David we both know one thing. If you hadn't given me the Normandy, they would have taken it from you."

"Yeah… but the only reason I'm so comfortable with it is because I know you can stop Saren. You're the best damn soldier the Alliance has son. Make me proud."

"I will David," I offered my hand.

"Thank you Nate," he took my hand and shook it before pulling me in for a hug. It was then his turn to head back to the elevator.

"All aboard!" I instructed and the aliens proceeded to board the Normandy.

I faced Rylee and she stood there awkwardly. "Congratulations SPECTRE Anderson. My mum would be proud of you."

"Thank you Lt. I really appreciate that."

"Well I guess this is goodbye," Rylee said.

"Goodbye my ass. You're joining my crew," I smirked.

"But what ab-"

"But nothing. I'm a SPECTRE now so I don't answer to the alliance. I want you on my team Shepard. I did some research and I found out that I can 'reassign' up to 5 officer rank personnel to my Command at any time."

"Don't you think my mom is going to be pissed if you do this?"

"Once you explain the situation I doubt she'll be that mad. And if she's still pissed then I'll talk to her myself."

"Fine… What are your orders, sir!" she saluted.

"Board the Normandy. We have a rogue SPECTRE to kill."


	4. We'll start with Therum

**Location: Artemis Tau, Athens System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

When I got aboard the Normandy the first thing I had to do was address the crew. I gave them a speech about how humanity is the only species with the balls and the courage to stop people like Saren and the crew loved it. Quite a few approached me afterwards and praised me for standing by humanity.

That was a week ago, before we started searching for Dr T'Soni. It would only make sense if she was Saren's first stop in all of this. That vision made almost no sense to me, so I'm assuming it made no sense to Saren either. We both need the Doctor to tell us what we saw and where it happened because if neither of us understood the beacon's message then neither of us will find the conduit. And if by any chance that Saren did understand what that message meant then I think Benezia's probably just looking for her daughter to recruit her, and we can't let a Prothean expert join their side.

"Nate is something on your mind?" Rylee asked.

I was sitting at the table in my new cabin, eating whatever military slop I was given with Rylee.

"Just getting real impatient. We should have found that Doctor by now. Well we would have if Udina gave us more to go on besides an entire fucking cluster. What he said about looking for Prothean buildings and landmarks shit **_is_** shit. All of these planets have the same Prothean crap. I'm a week in to my first mission and I'm no closer to my goal," I ranted in with more frustration than I should have let on.

"Nate calm down. We might have scoured this entire system and found nothing but-"

"I need to figure out what this vision meant and that Dr is probably my best shot at it. Besides, she might know what and where the conduit is or at least know something about the Reapers."

"I know you're under a lot of pressure so you're frustrated. But if you'd let me finish I'm about to make your day," she bragged.

"Enlighten me."

"I have a contact on Illium who used to be one of Benezia's acolytes. She was in contact with Liara a few years ago and she said Liara had a series of digs planned out between 2180 and 2184."

"Is there a point to this story?"

"I'm getting there. She just sent me that list of planned excavations and of all the digs which were scheduled only 4 were in the Artemis Tau cluster. And all of them were in the Knossos system. 3 of them were scheduled for Armeni and the last was for Therum."

"Wait… you've narrowed it down to two planets… Thank you. You're even more useful than Udina."

"Was there ever a doubt, what would you do without me?"

"We'll start with Therum. If there's only one digsite then that one should be the easiest to search."

"I'll go and tell Joker."

 ** _x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_**

I had just finished eating in the Mess when some of the engineering team entered the room. I overheard the group of them talking about a Quarian in the engineering room so my first instinct was to enquire about her.

"She's been spending all her time down here, asking about our engines."

"I'll tell her to leave you alone," I assured.

Adams shook his head in protest. "What! She's amazing. I wish half my guys were as smart as she was. Give her a month on board and she'll know more about our engines than I do. She's got a real knack for technology that one. I can see why you wanted her to come along."

"I can't deny her skill. According to Lt Shepard, anyone who can remove a Geth's audio file before it explodes has to be on my team. I'm trusting her instincts on this one."

"She's got an eye for talent that's for sure," Adams finished before returning to his meal with the rest of the Engineering crew.

After completing my meal, I decided that a little gym work would do me some good and get me warmed up in case we have to go groundside for Therum. I can't make the same mistakes I made in Chora's Den. I need to do better for the sake of the team.

On my way down to the armoury on the engineering deck I encountered Garrus. He nodded as he entered the elevator with me.

"Hey Anderson, what brings you down here?"

"I'm checking the weapons bench. Making sure my SPECTRE gear is ready for combat," I responded. I'm not close with the Turian and I have no interest in getting to know him at the moment.

"By the way, I just want to thank you for bringing me aboard, Commander. I knew working with a SPECTRE would be better than life at C-Sec."

"Have you worked with a SPECTRE before?"

"Well no. but I know what they're like. SPECTRE's make their own rules. You're free to handle things your way. At C-Sec, you're buried by rules. The damn bureaucrats are always on your back."

"Being a SPECTRE does have its advantages."

"Exactly my point. If I'm trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do it, as long as I do it. But C-Sec wants to do it their way. Protocol and procedure come first. That's why I left."

"So what you're telling me is that you quit because you didn't like procedure?"

"There's more to it than that. It didn't start out bad, but as I rose in ranks, I got saddled with more and more red tape. C-Sec's handling of Saren's typical. I just couldn't take it anymore. I hate leaving."

"You did the right thing. Life's too short to sit around and wait for things to happen."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Either way, I plan to make the most of this. And without C-Sec HQ looking over my shoulder, well, maybe I can get the job done my way for a change."

"As long as you do your job well, you're free to go about your business as you see fit."

"Thank you Commander," he appreciated before he got back to working on the Mako.

I was once again stopped on my way to the bench by the resident Krogan of the ship. "Nice ship you got here, Anderson."

"Thanks, it's the Alliance's best."

Something dawned on me which I still didn't understand "Wrex, why are you here? I know I'm not paying your services, you seem willing to join us on ground missions and you follow my orders."

"It's simple. I'm curious to see how this all pans out and you're actually a competent leader. If you were a fool I would have eaten you."

"Eaten me?"

"Human heart is surprisingly chewy."

I know how Krogan work. Force tends to illicit positive reactions from them so it was time to toughen up. "Try that and I'll mount your head in the CIC to show people never fuck with Nate Anderson," I snarled.

Wrex squinted his eyes to see if there was any lie or bravado in my statement. "HA! The human has quad. Don't worry Anderson, so long as you don't tell me to do something real stupid we'll have no problem."

"So long, Wrex" I dismissed before heading towards my weapons bench.

Wait a minute. I should really get a feel for the alien's personalities. I need to be able to assess if they're potential liabilities and see how I could coerce them in case they need convincing. Wrex's motivations were pretty easy to read, just promise him a good battle and he's up for it. I need to spin a 'justice' angle for Garrus to get him on my side. But Tali was an unknown to me.

She'd kept herself holed up in the engineering room ever since she had gotten aboard

When I entered the engineering room she was the first person I saw.

"Your ship's amazing Anderson, I've never seen a drive core like this before. I can't believe you were able to fit it in a ship this small. I'm starting to see why you humans have been so successful, I never had any idea ships in the Alliance were this advanced."

She proceeded to bore me with ship tech talk. I could already tell that she was enthusiastic and excited about being aboard the Normandy. She was like a child. My previous experience with Quarians shows that they mostly keep to themselves and they were generally selfless. They are probably one of the few alien races that I can tolerate.

She explained her struggles aboard the Migrant fleet, their scavenging and recycling to survive. From what she explained the Migrant fleet didn't seem too different from a gang. No set wants anyone who will be useless or too soft. Her pilgrimage was sort of an initiation to prove her worth and once it's done you can represent your family with pride. The main difference was Quarians had an end goal for their people, whereas gangs are just created out of boredom and have no objective.

I think she'd rather stay in the Engine Room than come with me on missions, so she'll probably spend more time here than groundside.

 ** _x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_**

I finally found the time in the week to visit Chief Williams. I've been busy handling paperwork and reading the SPECTRE material Councillor Tevos forwarded me along with 500000 credits to start things off. There was a shitload of requisition information, protocol and a list of SPECTRE's. That combined with the fact that I had to investigate these planets trying to find the Doctor. Go to the gym every day to keep in shape and deal with Alliance Brass try and keep what little hold they have over me through constant meetings and congratulations.

"Commander, what are you doing here?"

"Just checking up on my crew. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing better. The doctor said that I should be cleared for combat in 4 days"

"That's good. I know I was hesitant to let you on board but after what happened on Chora's Den you proved Anderson right about letting you on board. Your performance was great."

"Thanks Commander."

"Something on your mind Chief?"

"It's… since I've been in this bed I've had time to think… too much time to think."

"Eden Prime."

"Yeah, I just wish you'd gotten there sooner. No offense, I appreciate the rescue. I just wish…"

"Alright stop right there. I know what you're thinking right now because I've been through the same. After Akuze they had me hospitalised for weeks and I kept thinking of every conceivable action I could have taken to save my squad and I had a mental breakdown as a result. You need to put this behind you."

"Commander."

"You're a good soldier Williams. Don't start blaming yourself for deaths that weren't your fault. That's how you end up in the psych ward. Trust me I know."

"Y-yes sir."

"I know I was cold earlier and I had no right to out my frustrations with what happened down there on you. For that I'm sorry. But please know that you can talk to me about Eden Prime if you ever need to get things off your chest."

"Thank you Commander."

"Commander, heavy Geth activity has been detected on Therum and we're picking up transmissions between Saren and a merc who looks like he's found the Doctor," Joker announced over the PA.

"Joker, tell Shepard, Alenko, Wrex and Garrus I want them at the airlock ASAP" I informed the helmsman.

"Aye, aye!"


	5. May as well add Asari to the mix

**Location: Artemis Tau, Knossos System, Therum, Prothean Dig site**

This rock is hot as hell. Couldn't the Doctor pick a planet which wasn't a fucking volcano to get captured, is that too much for me to ask? Not to mention the fact that for the past hour or so Nate has been piloting the Mako like a madman and I've been tossed about like a rag doll. The man has no control over this vehicle and the only person enjoying this was Wrex.

The worst of it came whenever he came up against a Geth Colossus and he was jumping up and down like a child. I was tempted to get out and fight it on foot if it wasn't for the fact it was surrounded by Geth. We were almost forced into the lava because Nate had to dodge the blast too, which was a wonderful experience since the heat managed to fry our barrier so after dealing with the Colossus we had to request an immediate pickup from Joker. He took the MAKO and we were now on foot.

"Learn how to drive that thing like a person or I'm never getting inside it again," I hissed whilst walking through the small opening.

"Lighten up Shepard! That was fun," Wrex chortled.

"Fun! I almost ended up as being served to the geth as grilled Shepard. Not to mention how long it's going take to fix the Mako."

"We couldn't fit through that tiny opening with the Mako. I can barely fit through it."

"That's enough you two. I want you to focus on the mission. The Geth could be anywhere so stay alert," Nate intervened.

Almost as soon as he said that we were under fire. "See what I mean," he hollered.

We all found whatever cover we could behind the rocks. "Shit, they've got me pinned down," Nate announced.

"I'll deal with it," I offered and ran out of cover. With my shields on I knew I was safe for about 10 seconds. That was enough time for me to hit one with the overload. "Garrus!"

"On it," on queue the Turian blew the geth to pieces.

The other geth pinning Nate down was distracted by Kaidan so I pulled out my omni-blade and jammed it into its neck so I could rip its head off. There was something really satisfying about doing that.

"HUNTER!" Nate roared at me. I took my pistol out and shot it as fast as I could, but it ducked and cloaked again.

I turned tapped my visor and set it to allow me to hear the high frequency sound of the cloak. "Got you!" I cheered when my omni-blade cut straight through its head. We managed to take out the rest with little issue.

"Clear" I yelled and it was reaffirmed by everyone present.

We continued further along towards a chasm which was unusually quiet. Nate led us forward, however when he was in the open a sniper's round ripped through his shield.

"FUCK my shoulder," Nate snarled through his teeth. He had his shoulder in a vice grip with his other hand. Even with medi-gel there's no way he'll recover before the geth get here.

"OK everyone take up a position! Garrus we can't get out there so long as those snipers are a problem. We have to take them out. Kaidan, Wrex make sure the other geth don't get near us. GO!" I ordered. To their credit, none of them even questioned my orders and did as they were told.

Okay now we have to find somewhere we can take aim. The problem was that there were only two vantage points, and from both of them the snipers had a clear shot at us. So we have to aim and fire pretty quickly.

I took out my Reaper V and hid behind cover. I had to wait for the geth to fire first so I would have five seconds to take aim and shoot. Here goes. Yeah! Scratched one… you have got to be kidding me. When I saw the laser, I had to get back under cover to avoid getting shot.

Shit the thing has a barrier. I really need to upgrade my gear when we get back. This advanced Alliance line isn't going to cut it anymore.

"Garrus, sit-rep."

He raised his hand at me telling me to wait a second, before he could shoot. "Yeah! Just took this one out."

"I need you to take out the barrier then I can finish it off."

He nodded at me and did as I instructed and we managed to take out the other sniper. "Let's move out!"

We all got out of cover with the exception of Nate, who was still recovering and we took out the remaining geth in the vicinity.

"Area secure."

"Good job Shepard," Nate praised.

"Thank you sir!"

Nate was being extra weary of any potential threat now. The Geth sniper could have killed him if its aim wasn't slightly off. I just couldn't picture Nate dying, even if he was faced with an entire Krogan hit squad, I know he'd survive. It's what he's good at; he's the ultimate survivor but he's never liked being called that. After what I saw him do on Elysium I was certain that he was invincible.

Eventually we managed to find the actual dig site. The Doctor had managed to dig pretty deep from the looks of things. We were headed to the entrance and like always something has to get in the way. The geth ship dropped off a few toys us to play with and a fucking colossus.

"Great now we're all pinned down," Kaidan grunted.

"Staying here isn't an option," Wrex growled whilst backing up. He had his shotgun aimed at the beams above us and started firing but there were no pieces of geth debris falling on us.

A geth landed on top of our cover and stared at us. Its head started twisting and its limbs were contorted in unnatural ways. The geth made a weird noise before jumping back onto the beams.

"FUCK!" Nate roared. "Wrex warp those beams. I don't want them used," he ordered when at the same time he was taking out his shotgun.

I took my assault rifle and tried to see if I could take out these stalkers. I started firing at one but as soon as it was hit it jumped away. It landed on the open space to the right of me so I moved to aim at it. Just before I left the crate, the Colossus' blast hit our cover and sent me and Garrus skidding along the floor.

"Shepard! Are you alright!?" Anderson barked.

"I'm fine. Will someone please kill that Colossus though," I yelled

"Can't do that until these little bastards are dead," Wrex added. Still firing his shotgun at thin air.

"Commander, how about we catch them in a lift field and the rest blast them to pieces?" Kaidan suggested.

"Good thinking Lieutenant. Let's do this!"

It was just as easy as they said. Nate and Kaidan would prevent them from jumping with their biotics and we would finish them off. Once we were done with the stalkers, all that was left to do was kill the Colossus.

"Any ideas? I'm open to just about anything now."

"Screw clever tactics. Let's just blow the thing to the void," Wrex recommended

"For once I agree with Wrex. Grenades seem like the best way forward," Garrus seconded

"Alright. Let's just hope this works. But first we need to get rid of its shields," after Nate said that another blast hit the block only this time it was just me who fell backwards. "Shepard, Alenko, Garrus I want you to overload the shields so Wrex and I can blow this thing to hell".

"Yes sir!" Kaidan and I responded.

Our main problems are getting in a position where we can aim the overload and getting close enough to actually hit the Colossus. We had to wait for its next blast and run as quickly as possible to get as close as we could. Luckily we managed to hit all our overloads. So now the easy part would come. Everyone on the squad took the opportunity to throw their grenades and since they were sticky there was no way the geth could run or fly away. At the end there must have been 15 military grade grenades on that Colossus when it blew up.

 **Location: Artemis Tau, Knossos System, Therum, Prothean Ruins**

I hate going into situations where the enemy has the environment to their advantage. Those fucking Geth stalkers are jumping around like fucking kids, and since they scramble my suits sensors I have to take care of them first. Pinning down to one spot was impossible without overloading their circuits first so Rylee, Kaidan and Garrus were invaluable. Catching them in lift fields is incredibly difficult and it's easier to just catch them in an overload.

"Uh… hello? Can someone help me? Please!" a woman's voice called out. It was weak and slightly raspy, but still strong enough to be heard from a distance.

I jumped from the last collapsed walkway to where the voice came from. I found a sickly looking asari hanging in the middle of what looked like a stasis field. She looked dehydrated since her lips were cracked and swollen, her eyes were bloodshot and she was a bit on the skinny side and there were blue veins surrounding her body.

I'm assuming this is Dr Liara T'Soni

"Can you hear me out there? I am trapped. I need help!" she shouts out of excitement, in contrast to her previously raspy voice. I don't really blame her; it looks like she's been there for days. But we can't let others know we found her.

"Quit shouting. This place is crawling with geth," I urged before taking my helmet off, along with Rylee and Kaidan.

"Sorry I am a little… Look. My name is Dr Liara T'Soni. I am an archaeologist. Listen this thing I am in is a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it. Alright?"

I needed to ascertain a few things first before releasing her. "Your mother is working with Saren. Which side are you on?"

She had a look of genuine surprise when I told her this "What? I am not on anybody's side! I may be Benezia's daughter, but I am nothing like her! I have not spoken to her in years. Please, just get me out of here," she pleaded. I doubt she's working for Saren, no one would put themselves in this sort of state on purpose and she seems genuinely afraid.

"How did you get yourself in this position?" Rylee asked

"I was exploring the ruins when the geth showed up, so I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth! Beyond the Veil! I activated the tower's defences. I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out."

"That still doesn't explain how you ended up like that."

"Well this is a little embarrassing… when I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to. I was trapped in here. You must get me out please!"

"You shouldn't have been messing with technology you don't understand," I reprimanded.

"I wasn't going to let the geth capture me! Besides, I know how it works… mostly."

I had to roll my eyes at how childish she sounded. "So how are we getting you out of there?"

"There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing. You'll have to find some way past the barrier curtain. That's the tricky part. The defences cannot be shut off from the outside. I don't know how you'll get in here."

"Don't worry we'll figure out a way to save you," Rylee reassured

"Be careful. There is a Krogan with the geth. They've been trying different ways to get past the barrier."

My visor began flashing red which indicated a grenade was thrown or an RPG's been fired. "GET DOWN!" I bellowed.

I dived into the two closest people to me at that point, who were Garrus and Rylee. Wrex and Alenko managed to get down in time to see the RPG ram straight into the barrier curtain.

We all knew the drill at this point. Rylee and Garrus stay back as snipers, Wrex and I charge straight into the thick of things and Kaidan provided support for us from a further distance, so these skirmishes were becoming shorter and shorter. We were starting to find our rhythm and it was happening surprisingly quickly. Working with Wrex was incredibly easy, I knew he had my back in a fire fight and could hold his own so I wasn't constantly worrying if he was alright.

"Hey Commander I think the Geth were trying to use this mining laser," Garrus suggested whilst fiddling with the controls.

"That's not very smart, using a giant laser in the middle of a volcano," Rylee chuckled

"Well I'm not a very smart person. Garrus you think you can work this laser."

"Yeah just give me a minute to figure out the code."

"Do you really think this is a good idea Commander?"

"No I don't. But right now it's the only option available. This place is about to be crawling with Geth in ten minutes at best. So we need to get the asari out of here now,"

"Got it Commander," Garrus announced before drilling into the earth.

"It's too late to turn back now," I realised. Within minutes hole was deep enough for me to get to the level below and Garrus turned the laser off.

We ran to the elevator terminal and set it to go to the level above. The Doctor was ecstatic to see us. "How…how did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier."

"Not important! Right now we need to get you out of here before the geth arrive."

"Yes, you're right. I've seen enough of them to last a lifetime. That button should shut down my containment field."

Garrus pushed said button and she dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

"Oof," she grunted when she crashed to the floor. Rylee rushed to help her to her feet

"Any idea how to get out of this place?" Wrex asked

"There is an elevator back in the centre of the tower. At least, I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here. Come on," she tried to run but found she had no energy.

"You've probably gone days without food or water. I'll help you out of here," Rylee offered once again picking up the fallen asari.

"I-I still cannot believe all this. Why would the geth come after me? Do you think Benezia's involved?"

"She is involved," was all I said.

"Saren's looking for the Conduit. You're a Prothean expert. Obviously he needs your help to find it," Garrus added

"The Conduit? But I don't know-"

She was interrupted by a tremor which caught everyone's attention. "What the hell was that?" Wrex cursed

"These ruins are not stable. Whatever you did must have triggered a seismic event. We have to hurry the whole place is caving in."

"JOKER GET YOUR ASS OVER. GET THE NORMANDY LOCKED IN ON MY SIGNAL OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL HAUNT YOU FROM THE DEAD," I shouted into my communicator

"Aye, aye Commander. Secure and aweigh. ETA 8 minutes."

"If I die in here, I'll kill him," Wrex mumbled. I think the person I'll get on with the best will be Wrex.

"We're cutting it close Nate," Rylee uttered.

When we finally reached the top level of the tower, a group of geth being led by a Krogan was fast approaching us and he had a sick smile on his face.

"Surrender or don't. That would be more fun."

"We don't have time to deal with this idiot. CHARGE!"

"I like your attitude," the Krogan praised before running towards me. However, Wrex blocked him off with a charge of his own. After that they started trading head-butts and shotgun whips. Let's just leave the Krogan to fight it out.

Rylee was standing in front of Liara protectively. She was going to have to protect the doctor otherwise this whole mission is pointless, so Alenko was backing her up. Which left the bulk of the room to Garrus and I.

I took out my shotgun since this needed to be done very quickly. I killed three of the geth before the thing overheated. That was when I started to use it as a bludgeon.

Rylee was providing me some cover from the bastards but that didn't last until the Krogan charged straight into me, sending me skidding along the floor.

"Dammnit!" I cursed.

Garrus kept him off me by spraying him with assault rifle fire. This provided me the opportunity to get up to my feet and find cover. Thankfully, Wrex took over from me and he warped the Battlemaster's armour and Kaidan finished him off with a warp of his own.

Immediately after the fight the room began to collapse and I realised we had to run. "EVERYONE GET RID OF YOUR WEAPONS EXCEPT YOUR SIDE ARM!" I ordered whilst running toward the exit. We needed to be as light as possible so we all threw our weapons down the abyss as we ran. This is going to cut it close.

Rylee handed Liara to me so I could carry her out. My biotic tether made the job a lot easier but I was incredibly lucky not to get hit mid-air by a big rock or walkway.

The doctor had passed out during the fight with the battlemaster so I had to wait for her to wake up again to see if it was possible for her to help me with the vision. I left her in the med-bay where the Doctor was currently running tests on her

 **Location: Artemis Tau, Knossos System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

"Too close Commander. Ten more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten sulphur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."

"We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes."

"Joker can be a real ass. But after saving our lives I think he's earned the right to a few bad jokes," I said.

"I see. It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Commander. But I am grateful to you. You saved my life back there. And not just from the volcano. Those geth would have killed me. Or dragged me off to Saren."

"What did Saren want with you? Do you know something about the Conduit?" Kaidan asked

"Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past 50 years trying to figure out what happened to them."

"How old are you exactly?"

"I hate to admit it, but I am only 106."

"Damn, I hope I look that good when I'm your age."

"A century might seem like a long time to a short lived species like yours. But among the asari, I am barely considered more than a child. That is why my research has not received the attention it deserves. Because of my youth, among other asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the protheans."

"I've got my own theory about why the protheans disappeared."

"With all due respect Commander, I have heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them. The protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved. It's like someone came along after the protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues. But here is the incredible part. According to my findings, the protheans were not the first galactic civilisation to vanish. This cycle began long before them."

"Get to the point," I ordered. I could see in my peripheral vision that Rylee was pissed off at my crassness.

"The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilisation rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive. The protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements-the mass relays and the Citadel-are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, the protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to figuring out why."

Good god this alien can talk anyone's ear off. Jeez, all I did was offer to tell her what happened to the Protheans and she goes on some monologue like she's an actress in theatre; and she spouted it all with that same arrogance that all aliens possess.

"You're not much of an expert Doctor. The answer has been standing in front of you the whole time. The protheans were wiped out by a race of sentient machines called the Reapers."

"The—the Reapers? But I have never heard of—How do you know this? What evidence do you have?" she demanded. She was offended by my comments and she's showing some spine.

"There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain. I'm still trying to sort out what it means."

"Visions? Yes… that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly to the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime. The chance to acquire a working beacon—even a badly damaged one—is worth any almost risk."

"But none of it makes sense so it's not very useful," I countered

"That's because the beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology. Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear. I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong willed, Commander."

"This isn't helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit," Ashley intervened

"Of course you are right. I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the Conduit. Or Saren."

I felt anger boiling up inside me. So this stop was a giant fucking waste of time and Saren could be on his way to the Conduit right now because I spent a week dicking around in Artemis Tau, looking for a useless fucking doctor!

"That's just fucking great. Back to square one," I grunted.

"Wait Commander, Saren my try another attempt at my life. I'd feel safer if you let me stay on your ship. Besides, my knowledge on the protheans might prove useful later," she reasoned.

"And her biotics could be really helpful in a fight. Come on Commander, you know she's right," Rylee backed Liara up. If she is working with Saren then I'd rather have her where she can be monitored. If not, then I guess I have a new crewmate.

"We've already got every other non-human species on board. We may as well add asari to the mix."

"Thank you Commander, I am very grateful…whoa I'm feeling a bit light headed."

"You should really get something to eat something Doc and get checked out by Dr Chakwas," Alenko suggested.

"It's probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with the shock of just discovering the Prothean's fate. I need some time to process all of this," she explained.

"I'd say it has more to do with the dehydration and starvation," I countered.

"I guess it could not hurt to be examined by a medical professional. It will give me the chance to think things over. Are we finished here, Commander?"

"Go get checked out. Williams, Shepard take her to the med-bay. The rest of you dismissed,"

The familiar quick shriek of the intercom rang through my ears "Mission reports are filed, Commander. You want me to patch you through to the Council?" Joker inquired.

"Why not? My mood can't really get much worse anyway," I drawled.

"I wouldn't be too sure. Setting up the link now, Commander."

Their holograms each popped up in front of me. Each stood proud and arrogant as they looked down at me. "We've received your report Commander. I understand, Dr T'Soni is on the Normandy," the asari councillor stated.

"I assume you're taking the necessary security precautions?" the Turian councillor said patronisingly.

God, I really want to punch this Councillor in the face, please grant me this opportunity at some point in the near future. Amen.

"Don't tell me how to do my job," I sneered

"You are free to act as you see fit, Commander. Our role is to offer guidance and advice."

"It's up to you if you're smart enough to listen," the Turian councillor sneered back at me.

I really want to tell him to go fuck himself right now, but I doubt that David would be too pleased. So I'm going to do what's best for me "Joker, lose this line"

I heard a sigh on the intercom "Communications cut Commander. Bet no one's ever done that to the Council before."

"I'm really glad I'm the first. It felt good."


	6. REDS look out for their own

**Location: SSV Normandy SR-1**

We've been called back to the Citadel in order to debrief Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina about our findings on Therum. I doubt they'll be too pleased to find out that the doctor knows nothing about the Conduit and that it was a waste of our time. Hopefully they get some new leads on Saren or the Geth.

"Hey Nate, I just wanted to let you know that Liara's perfectly healthy now. The Doc just gave her the okay for combat" Rylee informed me as she entered my quarters

"That was quick. Only 76 hours and she's fine."

"Must be some asari thing, or it's just her."

"She'd better be as good as you think she is."

"Have some faith. I mean you trusted Tali, Wrex and Garrus. Why not her?"

"Tali proved herself by taking the mercs out when we met her. Wrex and Garrus had been in combat for years. The asari is a nerd and an archaeologist who managed to fall for her own trap. That doesn't spell a great combatant to me."

"Seriously, you need to stop being such an ass towards her. She's a perfectly sweet, nice girl and she hasn't done anything to deserve how you treat her."

"It's not just her" I responded.

"What you mean it's all the aliens? I saw how you treated Garrus back at the clinic."

"Yes!" I shouted. She needs to stop pushing me or this may not end well. "I don't want aliens aboard the ship. If it wasn't for the fact that we were desperate and short on time; I would have turned them all away."

Rylee looked at me with a look of pure disgust and shame "Would you just drop this idiotic racism you have towards aliens. Now you're a SPECTRE you can't avoid them anymore. You need to learn to play nice with them. And more importantly you need to put your trust in the ones in the crew."

"Don't look at me like that Shepard."

"What, you mean with contempt. I'm sorry this is just how I look at racists Commander."

"Shut up Rylee! You don't know me."

"Yes I do Nate. But I don't understand why the hell do you hate Aliens?"

Some images of my past started flashing through my mind… no I need to fight this. When I regained my cool I ordered Rylee to do the following "Listen up Lieutenant this conversation is over. Now get out of my quarters. That's an order"

She sent a warning of her own to me before she left "We both know that threats don't work on me, Anderson so don't even bother. But fine I'll stop pushing for now-just know that this isn't over."

Shit I really need to rein this crap of mine in. It's been years since I got away from that. She doesn't know about it so I can't be too mad at her, but I've worked too hard at forgetting what happened to have that all dredged back up. I just can't go back to that place… I can't.

 ** _x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_**

I needed to work off these memories and feelings I had right now, so I went to the place where I could express my anger productively. The punching bag.

When I arrived, Alenko was already there working it over. His punches were so much different from mine. His were controlled, calm, purposeful. Whereas mine were, resentlful, random and angry. My aggression always shone through whenever I hit the bag. All I see with Alenko is someone trying to improve his body and skills.

"Hey Commander. You need the bag," he grunted through the punches

"Yeah, but I'll wait until you're done."

"No don't worry, I was gonna hit the weights," he said. He backed up and gestured me to use it.

I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I started wailing on the thing. THUD, BANG, THUD. The tape over my knuckles was doing nothing. Within five minutes of continuous punching at full power, the tape was coming apart and my worn knuckles were becoming exposed. But despite this I kept on punching the bag. THUD, BANG, THUD. Even as the blood was starting to reach my wrists I kept on punching the thing.

The only reason I stopped was because I needed to catch my breath and that was after 25 minutes. By then I couldn't feel my hands and could barely make a fist. As I walked over to the bench to sit down, my hands lazily swayed in the air, occasionally bumping into my top and smearing a little blood onto it.

In my punching frenzy I never noticed that a small crowd of crewman had gathered around me, witnessing in awe how I worked the punching bag. This familiar feeling of being ogled at like a varren in the pits, created this anger, which began to swell until I ordered everyone back to their posts. Rather aggressively too. Only a few remained, I'm guessing they were the ones off duty. The ones who stuck out for me were Rylee and Lt. Alenko.

"So Kaidan, what's your opinion on the good Doctor joining us?" Rylee teased.

"Dr T'Soni? Seems like a sweet girl. Easy on the eyes" he assessed honestly. But when he caught on to Rylee's smirk he had to nervously add in "I mean, if you like the bookish sort."

"Any intentions there, Lt." Rylee giggled.

"No Shepard just art appreciation."

When Rylee got a look at me her smile faded and she said a rushed goodbye to Alenko.

"Impressive work there, Commander," he praised.

I didn't want to talk about what I just did because when I think about that, I think about why I was that angry and then I go back… and… fuck just change the subject "I need to get an idea of what the crew thinks about the mission. Thoughts?"

"Is this an official evaluation Commander? Or off the record."

"Like I've got time to write you up. You have something you want to say feel free."

"Fair enough, truth is, there's something wrong with this. This Saren is looking for records of some kind of galactic extinction. But we can't get back up from the Council? Sorry commander. There's writing on the wall here, but someone isn't reading it."

"They're too blind to see the damned truth. Anything the Council can't comprehend can't possibly be true," I drawled.

"I hear ya—it just seems a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming. Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn't a big focus back in BAaT."

"BAaT? Why does that sound familiar?"

"You might have heard of it from the Alliance. Biotic Acclimation and Temperance didn't last past the airlock. To the kids they hauled in it was called Brain Camp."

"They forced kids to train their biotics," I scowled.

"Sorry, 'hauled in' was unkind. We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities so an understanding of biotics could be compiled'. I shouldn't complain. There are worse results of "accidental" exposure to element zero in the womb. Beats the brain tumours some kids grew up with."

"Were you an accidental exposure?"

"My mother was downwind of a transport crash. It was before there were human biotics. A little after the discovery of the Martian ruins. It only gets iffy around '63 when Conatix was running out of first-gen subjects. Until then, they'd relied on accidentals. Bunch of guys in suits show up at your door after school. Next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero."

"Jump Zero's a long way from home. What was it like?"

"The grand gateway to humanity looks a lot better in the vids. Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago."

"Fine… that's all for now," I groaned as I got up from my seat. Shit this pain is annoying. I hopped in the elevator and hoped that no one would see me in pain like this.

"Commander, we're almost at the Citadel. ETA 14 minutes."

"Thanks, Joker."

That reminds me, I have to make sure the asari has clothes and armour to wear. If she's joining me in the field then she has to be adequately supplied and protected. I refuse to lose another member of my squad.

I walked through the med-bay into the back room where the asari was reading a datapad. I cleared my throat to inform her of my presence "Listen up. I'm wiring you 100,000 credits. That should be enough for top of the line weapons and armour, plus a little extra for clothes" I informed. She was wearing one of Dr Chakwas' medical uniforms which fitted her pretty well.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Normandy Docking Bay**

We were going to be on the Citadel for a little bit. I have to wait on the Council to give me whatever information on Saren they can get their hands on, so that effectively means I'm free to do as I please. But it feels so wrong just doing nothing whilst I'm waiting for information. I would search for it but I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I was interrupted from my thoughts by the Asari entering the elevator. She looked in far better shape than she did before, her skin looked better and she had a little bit more meat on her. Couldn't she have picked another time to go on her shopping spree. Fuck, now she's going to try and make conversation. Curse whoever made the elevators with these long ass rides. Let's just pray that this ride is quick.

"Hello Commander," she said.

I grunted at in acknowledgement "I wanted to thank you for the credits. And I promise I will be of value to the squad" she smiled. Once again I grunted.

There was about 30 seconds of awkward silence before she opened that gob of hers "Do you have any recommendations for weapons and armour?"

This time I opted to glare at her; couldn't she understand that I wanted silence. "I-I… I think I'll figure it out myself" she muttered. Good she finally gets the message.

However, she flattered to deceive, for she began to speak again. "Commander I can tell you do not trust me and I get it. But please understand, I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to help you stop Saren I promise."

"It takes more than words to sway me. You'd better live up to your promise."

"I do not begrudge you your suspicions. I just hope in time you will come to trust me."

I will never trust someone like you. "Do your fucking job properly and I won't throw you out the airlock," I spat.

I couldn't tell if she was hurt or confused by what I threatened. But if this dainty alien was going to join the squad she had better be as good as the rest. "Commander if you don't mind me asking. Why did you let me on board given you level of distrust towards me."

"Because Rylee trusts you… and that's enough for me."

Thankfully that ride was over and the elevator doors opened and I pushed past her into C-Sec Academy.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards, Lower Market**

My meeting with Udina went about as well as I expected. He was pissed off that the Doctor had little of value to contribute, but he was more understanding than me about my letting her stay aboard the Normandy. He told me he had sent Anderson back to Earth for the next few weeks to speak to Alliance brass about the situation. Apparently, the people in charge didn't like the idea of aliens having free roam over the most advanced ship in the Alliance fleet. Udina was chasing his own leads over Saren's whereabouts and he said he was close to finding something, but for now I should enjoy what little time I had left on the Citadel.

I didn't really know what to do. My only friend aboard the Normandy was Rylee and she wasn't speaking to me. There was no way I was inviting Garrus, Wrex, Tali or the asari. Come to think of it, I've barely spoken a word to Tali ever since she's been aboard. She's spent most of her time in the Normandy's engine room with Adams, so she was at least being useful.

I took the access elevator from the Presidium down to the Wards because I was more comfortable in that sort of environment. On the Presidium it's too clean and fake, there were too many smiling faces and upper class people there. The Wards reminded me of my time in the streets on Earth. Places like London, California, New York, Birmingham, Hong Kong, Rome, Tokyo, and Moscow always had these grimy sections where I ran with the 10th Street REDS.

I sat on the bench outside Rylee's apartment. I'm not sure if I was secretly hoping to see her, or because this was the one place on the Citadel where none of the crew would come looking for me.

"Commander?" I heard an annoyingly familiar, feminine voice say.

"How did you find me Dr?" I groaned whilst still staring at the ceiling.

"I was not looking for you. It's just that this place is near the market" I decided to glare at the asari so she could go away. Those are a lot of bags she's carrying.

"Did you find your gear yet? According to Udina we have to be ready to move out at any minute."

"Yes, the men said that they would deliver it to the Normandy."

"Then what's with all the bags?"

"These are clothes for me to wear,"

Hm—looks like asari shop just like human women. Go figure. I really don't want her to sit with me right now.

"So when are you returning to the Normandy?" she wondered.

"In a couple of hours," I responded agitatedly.

She was now glaring at me "I'm sorry Commander is there-" she couldn't finish her sentence since she was interrupted by a human male.

"I'll be damned. If it isn't Nate fucking Anderson. First human SPECTRE and still looks like shit."

I had to smile when I saw who was coming. I got up so I could shake his hand and bring him in for a hug. I haven't seen the REDS in 3 years. "Jaden, damn it's been a while."

"That's because you're so busy playing Marine, you don't visit any of your boys."

"You know if you knew half the shit I've been doing in the last 2 weeks alone you'd understand."

"Don't worry mate, I ain't mad. But you've got to know that there are guys who think you're stuck up now. I mean three whole years without visiting the fam. They think that you think you're too good for the REDS."

"Then obviously they don't know me. I bet that it's mostly new blood saying this shit."

"Yeah you got that right. It's just not the same like when you were there, Nate. These kids are all quick to brag about the work they put in, and the Feds are just as quick to lock they're asses up."

"That's how you learn. Remember when we got locked up for red sand? Boosie, Joey and Kay had to break into our cells to get us out."

"That was because you were selling it to a cop? And that stupid 'trust me, I'm a biotic' line you used to hit the fiends with."

"Hey, I wasn't the one flaunting my cash to random girls who liked Trap-stars."

"None of that really mattered when they pulled up on us. That's when we learned that if we wanted to move up, we had to move in silence. Those were good times…" he reminisced whilst smiling. Being with the REDS was one of the most fun experiences I'd ever had and Jaden was my boy. There was no one I trusted more and there was no one I'd rather have at my side.

"OK now that we've caught up Jaden what do you want? It's been 3 whole years of no contact and now all of a sudden you want to talk to me. Give me some credit, I may have been slow but I was never stupid."

"I guess you're right. I know how you prefer it when people cut to the chase… I need you to use your SPECTRE authority to get one of the REDS released."

"Who?"

"Remember Tyrell… the kid from Milan. You know-the guy who almost got killed for selling red-sand without Vido Santiago's permission"

"Oh him. I remember we made a bet with him that he'd be dead before 30." I chuckled

"Looks like we were both wrong on that count. Anyway, do you think you could get him released?"

"You're not seriously considering this, are you Commander?" the asari chimed in. I had completely forgotten that she was still here. Normal people would walk away and not eavesdrop on other people's conversation. But maybe that's just an asari thing.

"Nate? Who the fuck is this?" Jaden asked incredulously.

"A pain in my ass," I dismissed "You know when I said I was busy the past two weeks, she's part of the reason. She's in my squad."

"Is this one of those James Bond, spook shit where if you tell me you'd have to kill me?"

"Actually yes it is."

"Excuse me Commander, but you didn't answer me. Are you seriously considering this?"

"Tell me what Tyrell did?" I asked.

He scowled slightly, he knows I'm not going to like what I hear. "He was on the Citadel on a job given to him by the Blue Suns. He robbed a couple of banks and he killed an Asari store clerk," he explained. C-Sec is going to have his ass that's for sure.

"Commander, you cannot in good conscience comply to his request," the asari begged.

"Listen bitch, why don't you fuck off and leave the decision to Nate," Jaden asserted.

C-Sec will not be happy if I do this; but since when have I ever cared about how people perceived me. And I know that the blue bitch is going to go to Rylee crying about how evil and callous I am if I do it, but I doubt Rylee could get much more pissed off at me.

"I'll do it. REDS look out for their own," I fist bumped Jaden and he guided me to C-Sec Academy where we could complete the task. Just before we left down the stairs I saw the look of hopelessness on the Dr's face. I even saw her mouth the words 'what have I gotten myself into'

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Flux**

After releasing Ty, the three of us all went to flux to celebrate his release. We all caught up on our lives. Obviously I couldn't share my most recent ventures, but I did enjoy our reminiscing our past, the fights, the jobs and the laughs. It was the first time since this whole Saren mess began that I felt happy.

They got drunk and wasted about 2 hours after we arrived and they left for their shuttle back to Earth. I didn't notice that some of the crew had walked in to enjoy themselves when we were reminiscing but the only one I could recognise was Chief Williams.

She sat by the bar drinking beer on her own, calmly deflecting any advances from the patrons. She must be feeling a lot better now. I decided that talking to her was as good an option as any.

"Williams."

"Commander, how's it going?"

"I'm good. Just caught up with a couple of my friends from my time on Earth."

"I was wondering who they were."

"What's going on Williams? You look like you're in deep thought."

"I was just thinking… the scale of what we're doing is still sinking in. There's a lot of pressure on us, just hope the whole crew is up to it."

"Is there anything in particular you want to discuss?"

"I'm not sure if I buy Liara's story. I mean how can you not talk to your mother for years."

"I'd rather have her where I can keep an eye on her."

"Commander, you said I could get things off my chest whenever right?"

"Is this duty related Chief?"

"No sir, well maybe. I know things are different aboard the Normandy… but, I'm – I'm concerned about the aliens. Vakarian and Wrex. With all due respect Commander, should they have full access to the ship?"

"Because they're aliens?"

"No—well… this is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. I don't think you should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems. Engines, sensors, weapons."

"I share your concerns, but I'm under orders."

"Under orders to let alien gather military intelligence? I can't believe that was the Alliance's intention. We- humanity, I mean-we have to learn to rely on ourselves."

I've had that same thought for over 14 years now. We need to learn to stand on our own. We need to break away from the galactic community and show them that humanity can prosper alone. But I know right now to do that would be foolish. "I agree… but not now. The aliens know a lot more than us about technology and they have resources we don't. If we abandon them as allies now, then we'll have squandered the opportunity to better ourselves"

"I don't think we should turn down allies. I just think we shouldn't bet everything on them staying allies. As noble as the council may seem now, if their backs are against the wall, they'll abandon us."

"The Council's had a grudge against us ever since the First Contact War."

"I don't think it's a grudge. I think it's… if you're fighting a bear and the only way to survive is to sic your dog on it and run you'll do it. As much as you love your dog, it isn't human. It's not racism. Not really. Members of their species will always be more important to them than humans are."

"You feel pretty strongly about this don't you?"

"My father, my grandfather, my great grandmother-they all picked up the rifle and swore the oath of service. I guess we just think of Earth's interests as our own."

"You've never worked with aliens before have you?"

"No sir! Mainly I've been groundside. Part of the surface Garrison. I did get a rotation on the space station for training. Every marine a rifleman, every rifleman zee-gee certified."

"That doesn't make sense. You've had no misdemeanours or blemishes on your records and your technical scores are as high as mine. How are you still an NCO after 6 years of service?"

"Anyway, that's why I haven't served with many aliens before."

"Or your habit of second guessing your superiors," I joked

"No sir I-"

"I'm kidding Williams lighten up," I chuckled

"Really, coming from Mister serious all the time."

"I've got news for ya princess. I'm kicking your ass at Shattered Eezo."

"You did not just call me that," she challenged. We spent the rest of the night playing Shattered Eezo and other games, just trying to forget for one day the massive weight of responsibility we shouldered.


	7. My name is Liara T'Soni

**Location: Attican Beta, Theseus System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

We spent an extra week on the Citadel before Udina ordered us off to the next planet where heavy geth activity was reported. ExoGeni had lost contact with one of their research platforms on Feros and they reported that Geth were attacking. According to Udina this went beyond my mission and it was in the Alliance's best interest if this were a priority. I was initially going to ignore it, but that was before the Council forwarded me the same information as Udina about Feros I realised that this was something worth following.

I left my quarters so I could ready myself for the mission. When I observed the Crew Deck I felt something odd. This atmosphere wasn't the same as it was under the Captain. Something was missing but I couldn't tell what it was. It felt less energetic, less inspiring and just- less.

The mess was almost empty with the exception of Rylee and the Asari. They chatted away animatedly with smiles on their faces. I loved the fact that Rylee had this way of making people happy with her energy and attitude. The crew loved her according to Alenko. They gravitated towards her because she was this bundle of energy.

"—I was hit on my forearm by the barrel of a sniper rifle by a Turian merc. What he didn't count on was me having an omni-blade so I jammed him in his junk" Rylee made the fisting action with a morbid smile, however the Asari appeared confused.

"Does junk mean something different to humans than it does to asari?"

"Oh… on some parts of earth, junk is slang for the male organ" Rylee explained.

"Male organ?" she responded but after seconds of pondering her cheeks turned a darker shade of blue "That must have been very painful"

"Yeah well the bastard shouldn't have been selling kids off as slaves… oh Hello Commander" Rylee sighed upon catching sight of me.

"Doctor, do you mind giving the Lieutenant and I a minute?"

"Not at all Commander. Good-bye Rylee" she waved

"See you later Liara"

Once the Asari was safely in the med-bay I took her seat directly across from Rylee. She looked less angry with me, that was a positive, but now she looked just tired. Like I was the one person in this galaxy she didn't want to be alone with. But at the same time it looked like there was something she wanted to say to me.

"This has got to be the longest you've spent without talking to me. Seven whole days and barely a word."

"You make it pretty easy. You spend all of your time hunting down information on Saren and burning down Turian orphanages."

"Come on Rylee that was uncalled for."

"No it wasn't" she snapped. When the eyes of those entering the mess were fixated on us she took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Let's take this conversation back to my quarters" I offered. She nodded and followed me into Captain Anderson's old quarters.

"I spoke to my mom"

"And?" I stated

"I told her about what you had to say. At first she was disappointed but then she said that coming from you she understood. Now I know my mum isn't a racist, so I was wondering why she'd support one. So I did a little digging and I found out that there are no records of you before you joined the Alliance. All I know about you is your gang ties but that's public knowledge and that your father is David Anderson. Then I got to thinking; I know shockingly little about your past"

"And let's keep it that way. My past is just that, my past! So let's, let sleeping dogs lie"

"Ooh an idiom. When did you learn that one?" she mocked. It was common knowledge to human press and my close friends that I had little to no grasp of human idioms. That was something I wasn't exactly ashamed of, I was more embarrassed about than anything else.

"Shut up Rylee!"

"What, did I push a nerve. Did I do something to upset the legendary Nathan Anderson?"

"I could write you up for insubordination Lieutenant," I threatened. I was desperate for her to end her line of questioning and move on.

"We both know that you won't do that, because you know you're in the wrong. And this isn't a conversation between a Lieutenant and her CO. This is one between two friends. I'm worried about you Nate," She voiced her concern.

"If you know what's best for me then you'll end this now!" I affirmed. Please Rylee don't make me tell you. Because I promise once I tell you, you can never forget, no matter how much you want to.

"No Nate! I need to know what made you this way. You already know everything about me. You know about my mother and my upbringing on spaceships. You know that my father died in 2165 during a slaver raid. You know my friends, my lovers, what schools I went to, my parents. But I barely know any of those same things about you," she pleaded. She wanted something personal about me.

"I am your Commanding Officer Lieutenant. The only thing you need to know about me is that I outrank you. You don't need to know about my past, my parents or my personal business. Is that clear!" I barked

"Crystal" she sneered. She offered me a stiff salute and headed for the door.

Dammit Rylee! I know you're just trying to get to know me but leave me alone. Anyone else would have received a real ass kicking, but it's just because this is you. And because it's you I'm now feeling guilty about doing this… fine, I'll give her one thing.

"Just so you know… I don't remember my parents or any family I may have had," I said in as monotonous a tone as I could manage.

She actually looked back at me with apologetic eyes. Maybe now she'll realise that my history is something I'd rather not discuss with anyone. The only ones who actually know about my past and my circumstances are Anderson, Hackett, Hannah and a few other Alliance officials; and they know damn well never to bring that up around me.

 **Location: Attican Beta, Theseus System, Feros, Zhu's Hope**

Reaching Zhu's Hope made me remember just how much I hated corporations. They're the first to send good people on dangerous ventures and the last to help them out when those people are in need. It was obvious that ExoGeni had abandoned them in an effort to cut their losses. I haven't even reached this Fai Dan person and I can see that for myself. From the moment I landed I've neither seen nor had any contact with security personnel, nor have I seen their corpses either. What I've seen is a make shift militia of office workers being forced to take up arms against an enemy they have no chance in defeating.

I had all hands on deck for this one. I wanted to see what the asari could do in battle, and it was time for Tali to take a break from the drive core. Adams seems to think that she's working herself to death. Luckily for them our first few skirmishes were dealt with quickly by Wrex and Chief Williams.

"Oh God, they're everywhere!" a panicked woman shrieked.

That was my queue to make a break down the stairs. However, in my attempt to reach her I was blocked off by an invisible geth hunter. I instinctively punched the ground on impact and sent it rolling down the stairs.

Rylee had overloaded the stalker above me so I had the easy task of blasting it to bits with my shotgun. "Recon Drones inbound," Williams hollered.

They began circling us like a hunter to its prey. The only difference was that they were hunting a crazy, Krogan battlemaster. Wrex flicked his wrist at one of the drones and threw it at another.

That was when the gun fire started to rain on us. The doctor had protected us all in a bubble but again it was Wrex who was on the offensive. He readied his assault rifle before charging out of the bubble. His years of experience were paying off, since his accuracy was better than anyone I'd seen.

With a grunt, the doctor pushed the bubble out, resulting in a 360 shockwave which destroyed the rest of the drones. I have got to learn how to do that, but I'll be damned if she's the one to teach me.

When we entered the colony I witnessed a makeshift militia in place. Skinny, scrawny men and large alike were toting weapons and aiming them at where we just came from. "Glad to see some soldiers. Our numbers are getting thin," one of the militiamen confessed.

"If we don't die of thirst, the geth will surely kill us all," another woman complained. Everyone was covered in sweat and dust. Some looked like they had barely eaten, many looked like they'd barely slept.

"Protect the heart of the colony!"

"That doesn't sound good," Garrus muttered.

We all ran toward the tower. I could see that guns were being fired from the tower entrance and from what I can tell it's definitely geth. I can't wait for the colonists to draw them out, because by the time that happens they'll all be dead. I guess it's up to me.

"Wrex, follow my lead" I took out a heat-disguising smoke grenade and angled it into the tower. Wrex read what I was trying to do and he threw a lift grenade in the same direction. Hopefully it took out a couple of geth. If not, then at least it should create some confusion.

I ran into the building and the two of us projected some shockwaves through the smoke. Judging from the sound of metal being destroyed and that geth shriek, it was working quite well.

"Before the smoke clears, fall back!" I ordered. I ran towards the crates where an elderly man and young woman were hiding behind.

"Stay here, we've got this," I assured.

As I anticipated there were more geth in the upper levels of the tower. They quickly made their descent into the main colony.

"Shepard, Vakarian, Williams I want support. Snipers ready! Tali, Wrex, we'll create a choke point at the entrance. Doctor, Lieutenant protect the colonists. GO!" I ordered.

With Wrex and Tali I tow I sprinted towards the stairs. Tali sent her attack drone toward the Geth. I doubt it'll do much, none of the Alliance's best could even slow the geth down I don't think that hers can…

I was very quickly proven wrong by our resident Quarian. The geth were malfunctioning and they stopped and staggered which allowed the snipers to do their job.

"Commander, I programmed the drone to seek out any high frequency noises. Including cloaks," she grunted whilst taking her shotgun out and blasting one of their heads off.

"Hmm… maybe you surviving Saren's hit-squad wasn't dumb luck after all," Wrex praised.

Within seconds of her announcement all hunters were exposed and out in the open. I grabbed one of them by the feet with my Lash and whipped it towards another and down the massive staircase that led deep underground.

"Clear!" I yelled.

"All targets neutralised," Rylee reported.

I returned to the Elderly man I encountered earlier to find out just what the fuck is going on.

"Praise God, they've finally sent someone to help us,"

"You're a bit late aren't you?" the woman replied scornfully. I don't entirely blame her. I get what it's like watching so much death surround you, no matter when the backup arrives, it's always too late.

"Arcelia!" the older gentleman growled. "Sorry sir everyone is a little on edge" Something seemed off about these colonists. They were all jittery, especially this one, but that could be blamed on the geth. However, all of them had faint, green veins showing through their skin.

"I'm Commander Nathan Anderson. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance," I introduced.

"Impossible! There aren't any human SPECTRE's." Arcelia snapped.

"Whether you believe us or not we're your best bet out of this alive" Williams stepped in.

"Excuse her, Commander. She's been in charge of security thus far. I'm Fai Dan," he said.

"Arcelia Martinez" she added.

They proceeded to tell us about what we would be expecting on the way. There was a geth dropship on the Skyway along with some armature units as well. That meant that if we wanted a chance to save this colony and find what we're looking for we'd need the Mako. Fai Dan even informed us about the struggles the colonists were experiencing with the geth.

The Mako can only hold about 5-6 people and there are 8 of us. We need people to stay back here to see if there's anything around the colony that could tell us about why Saren is even here.

"Shepard, I want you to lead Williams, Wrex and Garrus towards ExoGeni's main building, see if you can find out why the geth are here. The rest of us will stay and see if there's anything around here that could tell us why the Geth are here."

 **~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o**

I knew that this would be the more boring assignment but something told me that I was meant to stay behind. Besides, Rylee can handle herself, she should be able to lead that lot and at least now she can understand just how hard it is to pilot the Mako.

The lack of hope that these people shared had touched me. I had interviewed each of the colonists about the geth and the colony. These people knew shockingly little about the world they were sent to colonise. All they were told was that it was an exciting opportunity and none of them had a clue about why the geth were here. After hearing about the condition of some of these people Dr Chakwas left the ship to come and serve as a temporary medic.

What was weird was that every colonists that Alenko, Tali, the doctor and I to talk to Fai Dan if we pushed too far. It's almost as if it was rehearsed.

I was taken from my thoughts when Tali sat beside me. I couldn't see her face but from her body language she was clearly uncomfortable in her surroundings. "Something wrong, Tali?"

"No, it's nothing I'm not used to"

"What are you talking about?"

"The looks I'm getting from the colonists. They don't like the fact that a Quarian is around. My people did create the geth centuries ago"

"So the colonists are blaming you for their present situation" I deduced. It makes sense, without Quarians then there would be no geth to fight. I guess this is their way of coping, they can't show their anger to geth so they dump their feelings onto Tali.

"Most people tend to treat Quarians as second class citizens and greet them with scorn. That's why I spend most of my time aboard the ship in the Drive core. Adams and the engineering crew treat me like they do everyone else; it's nice… it was hard to break away from that"

I guess the Quarians are galactic pariahs, maybe even more than humans. I guess the aliens even discriminate against their own. "I understand Tali. When you find you're safe zone, you don't want to venture out of it," I sympathised. That's probably why I stayed with the REDS for as long as I did.

"Exactly. Dr Chakwas told me you'd understand but to be honest I didn't believe her," Tali confessed.

"Why's that?"

"I-I don't mean to be rude, Commander. But the rest of the crew seems to see you as a little… strict and unreasonable. They don't all have faith in your chances at stopping Saren."

"Really… what else have they said about me?"

"I don't know Commander… it… I don't think I should have told you that."

"Tali listen to me. If the crew don't have faith then I am failing as a leader. This mission is too important for that to happen. You can help me fix that so out with it. Now!" I ordered

Tali looked at me for what felt like hours before continuing "They know almost nothing about you besides from Elysium, Torfan and Akuze. I don't think they feel a connection to you… it's not common amongst Quarians for this to happen, and the results usually aren't exactly what you'd hope Commander," she continued. I can guess, a crew with no faith in their captain would probably die very quickly.

"But there are people who vouch for you. Rylee, Ashley, Dr Chakwas, Kaidan and Pressley all defend you. They seem to placate the others," Tali attempted to redeem my pride but failed miserably at doing so. Pressley had to support me since he was my XO and the Doctor was probably just trying to maintain status quo.

I'm a failure as a leader. I know that in combat I'm a good leader, I don't give any orders I wouldn't follow myself and my team tends to come out of most battles in one piece. But being in charge of a ship was a whole new ball game. Dealing with all the bureaucratic crap I would normally pass up to Captain Anderson was more of a pain than I thought. Constantly having to deal with Council breathing down my neck and struggling to find Saren meant that I was so absorbed in my own problems I was ignoring the crew.

It's clear that this style of leadership isn't working if the crew doesn't feel confident enough to take on the galaxy. When I went into battle with David for the first time, I felt like I could take on everything the Blue Suns could throw at me and much more. But how do I get that sort of connection with my crew. It's easy to be charismatic on the battlefield, just exert authority when necessary and lead by example.

Now that I think about it the people Tali mentioned with the exception of Pressley and Chakwas were the people I interacted with the most on the Normandy. I guess they're the people who have the best read of my personality and they could relate to me the best. Is that it? Just go around talking to everyone and personally interact with everyone? I guess it couldn't do more damage than what I'm doing now.

"What are Quarian captains like?" I wondered. Maybe something they do could help me out.

"Quarian Captains are normally very charismatic. With our ships being very small it allows them to form personal bonds between captains and his or her crew. The crew learns to trust their captains with their lives and in return they're willing to die for their captains. Captains tend to become extended family and they bring the rest of the crew together."

"Thanks, Tali. I'll see if I can do better," I appreciated

"You're welcome, Anderson," she responded

I stood up and radioed Rylee to see what their present situation was but something was blocking their signal. Maybe the Geth Stalkers were in their vicinity and communication was impossible. I'll radio them again in 15 minutes to see if I could get a sit-rep. I walked around the colony to see if there was anything I could do to help the colonists with their struggle. With ExoGeni abandoning them, they'd need whatever help was available. There was that, and the fact that I was starting to feel a little funny.

The colony needed food, electricity and water immediately. I could help with the food and electricity immediately. I had Alenko and some of the other crew members of the Normandy deliver half of the food rations and 4 portable generators from the ship. However, the water was going to be tricky. Apparently, there was a water pipe underneath Zhu's Hope that was shut, but with Geth lurking around it was too dangerous to access the pipeline.

I gathered the four members of my crew around nearby the Prothean Skyway Rylee and her squad used. "OK, this colony is almost semi-functional thanks to us but the jobs not done yet," I began. "Underneath this colony is a pipeline that's being blocked. Most likely by the geth and we need to unblock it. There is also a Geth transmitter we need to disable" I propositioned.

"I don't think it would be a very good idea to leave these colonists behind. The geth could return at any time" the Dr interjected.

"Yeah, I know; which is why two of us are heading underground. Alenko you'll have to stay behind, I need someone familiar with Alliance protocol around in case things go south," I added.

"I'm afraid I can't go with you, Commander. The colonists need help setting up the generators so I have to stay," Tali explained.

"Looks like it's just me and you Doctor," I turned to the asari.

She looked a little nervous, which was understandable since I think I've made it fairly clear that I don't trust or like her. "Yes, Commander. Should we head out now?" she asked

"Yeah, the sooner these people get their lives back on track the better"

 **Location: Attican Beta, Theseus System, Feros, Zhu's Hope, Underground**

It was a pleasant surprise that we had not run into any geth yet in our crusade for the water pipe. But there was some part of me desperately wishing to encounter the machines so we would not be trapped in this uncomfortable silence. I am not sure if he is uncomfortable but I know that I am.

The Commander had made it abundantly clear that he did not trust me and at first I could not blame him. However despite his lack of trust in me, I still respected his surviving the Prothean beacon. But after what happened on the Citadel when he released that prisoner who murdered an innocent civilian, I could not stand to be on the same ship as him.

The severity of the mission meant that I had to stay aboard but that was worth it if we could stop Saren.

There was also the issue of the ringing in my ear when I was at the colony. I could hear something whispering into my ear. It was constant and soft, almost hypnotic. The more time passed the clearer the words were becoming but they were in a foreign language. It started giving me a headache, so I am glad to get away from the colony for a short time.

I was interrupted from my thoughts when he put a protective hand in front of me.

He pointed in the direction of a Geth Rocket Launcher, standing in the middle of the pathway, surveying the area for any potential threats. Anderson and I immediately returned to cover.

"Commander, what should we do? We have no idea how many geth are in the area," I inquired.

He pondered on what I said for 5 seconds before responding. "How strong a barrier can you throw up?"

"My Barrier? I guess it's fairly strong. I have never pushed it to its limit before."

"Great," he muttered under his breath. "That means you're going to have to stay back here. I'll take out the rocket launcher. If it's alone I'll tell you. If not then I need you to cover me so I can hide. GO!"

He ran out of cover and out of my sight. I heard gunshots coming from the pathway, but I remained in cover. Then I heard the distinct sound of metal on the cold metal grates, indicating that there were more Geth on their way.

"Cover me!" he barked. I stepped out and threw a singularity at the crowd of geth that poured out of whatever door they came from. It left them in suspension high above the ground.

Anderson saw the opportunity and sent a shockwave at the helpless geth. The resulting biotic explosion destroyed the geth. He looked at me approvingly "Good work doctor."

"I have a name, Commander," I said.

"Excuse me."

I gulped before continuing "My name… is Liara T'Soni. I would appreciate it very much if you would address me by my name… Please refrain from addressing me by my title or my species," I somehow found the courage and strength to say that to him. How he addressed me was incredibly degrading, it was as if he had not even bothered to learn my name.

"Alright, Liara. Good work" he praised.

Restoring the water wasn't too difficult once the geth were out of the way. Thankfully for omni-gel decrypting wall safes and overriding systems had become a thing of the past.

Now all that was left for us to do was to destroy the geth transmitter and we could return to the surface. It had been over an hour since Rylee and the others had left for the skyway and we still had not received any messages. It was most likely due to the fact we were so deep underground that no one could reach us.

"According to Tali's scanner, the transmitter is somewhere through that door," he informed.

"I'm right behind you, Commander."

It was almost as if every geth group we encountered had one of those cursed stalkers. It had itself perched on the wall directly above us. I warped its shields with the hope of causing some damage to its electrics.

Anderson used the opportunity to take out his pistol. He aimed it at one of the rocket drones and somehow managed to get a headshot. Impressive.

He used his pistol to advance our position so our backs weren't against the wall. As the geth began their retreat, I threw a singularity just behind them so they could be suspended in the air.

I was surprised to see the Commander look at me and smile before unleashing his biotic whip. The result of our tandem attack caused a familiar, chaotic explosion of unstable dark energy.

Before we left the Normandy, I had Ashley equip my pistol with cryo ammo, hopefully that should freeze them for long enough that I can actually hit them with my biotics. The first few rounds slowed them down, but that was all I could manage before Anderson tackled me to the ground.

I was about to protest before a rocket flew over both our heads. The look of fear in my eyes was clear and I didn't bother trying to hide it.

He managed to take out the rocket trooper whilst I was still in cover. That was before a symphony of shotgun blasts were aimed at him and he had to get into cover.

"Why is it always fucking Krogan!" Anderson shouted

"Because we're the only ones with enough quad for jobs like this" one of the mercenaries guffawed.

"I count 4 hostiles left in the immediate area," Anderson reported.

"Come out and fight like a man, human. Die with some honour!"

We were in a corridor so there was no way of sneaking around the Krogan. Neither of us had cloaks to do so in the first place.

"We need to panic them, that's our only chance and we have to do it before they start advancing on us," he thought out loud.

"Luckily for us these Krogan seem more interested in a good battle than actually staying alive," I mused.

He looked at his armour and smiled. He opened out of the compartments in his armour and pulled out a small but long container. He removed the casing to reveal a green, glowing substance. He emptied half of the contents into his pistol.

"By the way, Doctor. You might want to avoid getting too close to these Krogan after this," he warned. I had to bite my tongue to avoid saying something about his term of address towards me. Not the right time or place.

"Stay behind cover. They haven't seen you yet, we can use that."

I have to pick my moment to get involved, if my timing is off we could both die today. Before the Commander got out of cover I sent out a surveillance drone.

It's a good thing these corridors are so small. It means that there are not many places for cover. They had split themselves two and two.

Commander Anderson chose to make his move. He intensified his barrier before running straight towards the Krogan. This caused all four to come out of cover.

He used that opportunity to shoot them all at least once. When the bullets made contact all of the Krogan started writhing in pain. Some began running around erratically, some fell to the floor. They all had an unsettling, green glow surrounding them.

I saw this as my opportunity to strike. I pumped them full of my cryo rounds to freeze the Krogan. This left Nate with the simple task of shattering each Krogan.

"It amazes me that they all came out of cover."

"Krogan love fights, that's the reason most merc squads only have 1 or 2. At least that's what Wrex told me."

"What was that you did to them?" I wondered

"Radioactive rounds. It was Alenko's idea" he explained before sending attaching two grenades to the transmitter.

"Idiots" he grunted "If even one of them had stayed behind to guard the jammer, then maybe we'd be dead. Shows you just how scratching for a fight can fuck you over." Anderson chuckled

"Itching"

"What?"

"I believe the phrase you are looking for is 'itching for a fight'. Rylee said that about Wrex" I corrected.

His firsts became clenched and he was visibly shaking. "Let's just get back to the colony" he growled.

As we left the room he detonated the grenades and he returned to make sure the transmitter was destroyed.

 **Location: Attican Beta, Theseus System, Feros, Zhu's Hope**

Liara and I returned to the colony in complete silence. I'll admit that the reason for my anger is incredibly childish but come on. It's bad enough that I can't grasp idioms, but an asari somehow seems to know more human culture than I do.

It's been a little over 2 hours since Rylee left for the skyway and I still haven't received word from her squad. There's nothing I can do to help since there's only one Mako aboard the Normandy. I'm going to requisition a second one in order to accommodate for all of us.

When we arrived at the colony I found an empty site. That's impossible, Fai Dan was adamant about refusing to abandon the colony. I radioed Alenko to see what was going on.

"Lieutenant, what the hell is going on here?" I demanded.

"Good to see you're alive, Commander. The colonists went crazy. They started attacking us. Tali, Dr Chakwas and I had to fall back to the Normandy," Alenko explained.

"Why would they attack?"

"I don't know but they were moving like husks. There were even a few that looked like green, husks."

"OK, we'll head to the Normandy."

"You can't Commander, there are a bunch of them outside the Normandy. They're banging at the doors."

"Open fire Lieutenant. If they're armed then we have no choice."

"They aren't armed Commander. They all dropped their weapons and started using their hands."

"Aah shit!" I cursed. What I thought was empty wasn't what it appeared. Colonists started flooding out of the building.

My pistol was ready and I sent some warning shots. I'm not comfortable shooting unarmed people, but I will if I have to. The warning shots did nothing to deter them and they began charging towards us.

I grabbed Liara's hand and used my biotic tether to pull us towards the top of one of the buildings. However, they still had enough brain capacity to know how to climb. They scaled the building with ease and we were surrounded. If this goes on much longer I will have to kill them.

I tethered the two of us over to the other side of Zhu's Hope, and again they charged towards us. "Liara, open fire," I instructed.

"Nate, are you there?" Rylee inquired.

"Not now Shepard we're busy," I dismissed

We both readied ourselves to shoot before I got a transmission. "Commander listen, I know that the colonists are acting hostile but please do not kill them. Wait for us to arrive."

"You'd better have a good ass reason for this, Shepard"

"I'll explain when I get there. I'm on the skyway right now. I'll reach the colony in a few minutes. Just buy time."

"Shit," I cursed. I holstered my pistol and turned to run to the Normandy's direction. "For fucks sake!" there was more of them coming from the Normandy.

"Anderson, barrier the door way and I'll barrier mine," she instructed before shielding us from the colonists. I did the same with my door and on both sides of us were zombie people trying to rip us apart. We were back to back and we both exchanged sheepish smiles.

"How long do you think you can hold out?" I asked.

"I'll give myself 2 minutes. 5 at best but that would leave me too tired to move."

"Hopefully, Lieutenant Shepard will get here soon"

The strain of maintaining this barrier for this long was quickly taking its strain. I find it difficult to hold a barrier around myself for 30 seconds, let alone one of this size. And it's constantly under pressure. Rylee, you'd better hurry up or I might end up shooting my way through these people.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Thankfully, Rylee's squad arrived as quickly as she promised. Grenades were exploding from Liara's direction and the bodies started falling to the ground.

When the barriers dropped Rylee explained to me just what the hell was going on. The Geth drop ship was scrambling all communications, which would explain why we couldn't reach them. ExoGeni was holding a sentient plant lifeform called the Thorian underneath Zhu's Hope. They were experimenting on the colonists to see what the long term effects of exposure to the Thorian can do. That's why the colonists were attacking us, the Thorian was trying to protect itself.

Fai Dan even showed up with a gun in his hand ready to fight us. But surprisingly he managed to break free of the Thorians hold and he shot himself in the head. Tali and Alenko joined us from the Normandy and we had to search for a way to reach the Thorian underground. ExoGeni has obviously been studying it so they must have a way to get to it.

Eventually, Tali found a security terminal which opened a secret entrance.

On our way down Rylee was explaining what we were going to do when we find the Thorian. "Alright, we just need to find this creature and determine what…. That is… the most disturbing thing I've ever seen."

The Thorian was quite possibly the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my life. It was like one of those giant sea monsters you see in comic books or in your nightmares. It had tentacles seeping from its mouth along with what I assume is its saliva, there were these nasty wrinkles that covered its body and to be honest it reminded me of Cthulu. And don't get me started on the smell. This thing smells like rotting corpses had a baby with decaying compost and that baby had a shit in a dumpster.

"I don't think we have enough firepower…" Garrus said with his mouth open

I stepped closer towards the Thorian, each step was cautious and my hand was hovering over my side arm. To my disgust it was salivating from the mouth. It started gagging and a naked, green asari was spat out.

"Invaders! Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe!"

"I hate self-righteous, arrogant beings that expect me to kneel in front of them and kiss their ass. Go fuck yourself. But first, GIVE ME WHAT YOU GAVE SAREN," I demanded

"Shiala?" Liara gasped. Her hand reached for the green asari before being smacked down by Wrex.

"You know her Liara?" Williams asked.

"She's one of my mother's acolytes. I haven't-"

"Spoken to her in years. Yeah you say that a lot," I interrupted.

"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to the flesh for the first time in the Long Cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. Flesh fairly given! The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies. It will listen no more!" Shiala complained

"We can't let you keep your thralls. Release them now!" Rylee shouted

"No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone too long"

"Yeah, yeah," I mocked before shooting her with my HMWSG, her head was blown clean off. "You're gonna die Anderson, time to eliminate Anderson, let's make Anderson disappear. They all start the same way and end up with me shooting them," I groaned. If the bad guys actually attacked me rather than talking then maybe I'd be dead.

I walked over to the edge of the floor to see how deep the chasm was. I whistled and smirked at the Thorian. "Long way down for you mate. Tali, Garrus look for structural weaknesses. We need to break this things hold on the pillars."

I looked to my left and I saw that Shiala was back with her head intact. No, that's impossible I know I killed her. Nothing can survive something like that.

"You are a fool to believe that you can defeat the old growth. I'll make sure your blood will feed the ground for the new growth!" she declared, whilst an assault rifle grew out of her arm.

"No fucking way I'm letting another one of those exist. Everyone move!"

The Thorian had one of its tentacles block the entrance so we had to move closer to the top. On the way we encountered some of its creepers.

"Wrex, Alenko we'll take point. Everyone else find a way to bring that thing down!" I ordered.

Turns out there were these glass containers that were holding the Thorian in place. It took a while but we managed to destroy each of them and send the Thorian to its death. The real problem during the battle however was dealing with Shiala's clones. She was a powerful biotic, and she was hard enough fighting her one on one, but fighting 3 of her at one would have been impossible if I didn't have Alenko and Wrex by my side.

Not to mention I was covered in Creeper matter and Thorian goo because of the damn clones managing to get near me. Decontamination is going to be a bitch.

"Commander, you're going to want to see this," Rylee said through the headpiece. I used my suit to find where she was, only to find one of Shiala's clones still alive. On instinct I pulled out my shotgun; however as soon as I did Rylee blocked my shot.

"Commander, please! This is the real Shiala," Liara pleaded

"I would have thought that she would have died with the Thorian?" Alenko wondered

"She was trapped in one of its pods. It was separate from the Thorian so when it died, she wasn't affected," Rylee extended.

I put my shotgun away and looked her in the eye. This was mainly due to the fact that she was completely naked, and judging from people's body language namely Tali, Alenko, Williams and Garrus weren't comfortable.

"For the love of God, could someone please get her some fucking clothes," I groaned.

"My apologies, the Thorian cares little for anything of excess such as clothes," Shiala smiled sheepishly.

We took her topside. The colonists were still unconscious from whatever Rylee threw at them. Thankfully, when they wake up, this entire ordeal will be over with. One of the buildings was still open and we managed to get Shiala a pair of overalls. I didn't want the colonists seeing Shiala and possibly recognising her since that would probably lead to violence, so we took he into the Prothean tower.

"Talk, now!" I ordered.

"My name is Shiala. I serve – I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren is compelling. Benezia lost her way."

I scoffed before saying "You don't seriously expect me to believe that Saren has secret mind control powers do you."

"Benezia underestimated Saren, as I did. We came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence is troubling."

"No… Benezia…" Liara whispered.

"Sounds like you asari bit off more than you can chew," I interjected.

"Saren has a vessel. An enormous warship unlike anything I've ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks. But in the end, it is absolute I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my biotics to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an Alliance between Saren and the Thorian."

"And once Saren got what he wanted, the Thorian became expendable. He wanted the Geth to destroy it so no one else could get its secrets," I deduced.

"That is correct. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the Cipher."

"What's the Cipher? And why did Saren need it?"

"The beacon of Eden Prime gave you visions. But the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. To truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They became a part of it."

"So the Thorian taught Saren to think like a Prothean? How?" Tali asked

"The Cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like describing colour to a creature without eyes. To understand, you must have access to endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations. I sensed this ancestral memory—the Cipher—when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught; it simply exists."

"You gave it to Saren you can give it to me," I declared.

"There is a way. I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with Saren."

"Wait a minute… are you talking about… melding?" I gulped.

"Yes," she replied curtly.

"No way, uh-uh. There has to be another way for this… whatever this is to happen," I said vehemently.

"I'm sorry Commander but there's no other way of doing it" she stated.

"Come on Anderson, quit being such a baby and do this," Wrex groaned.

I took a deep breath to try and settle my nerves. Come on Nate, you can do this. I know you can, you've grown up a lot in the past 15-20 years. A lot has changed, you're bigger and you're more mature. Besides, this is for the sake of the damn galaxy. If you don't suck it up, Saren will find the Conduit, bring back the Reapers and bring an end to all life in the galaxy, like what happened to the Protheans. You don't want that guilt so just man up and let's do this.

"Fine, let's just get this over with," I said.

"Try to relax, Commander. Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that blind us, one is another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit" her voice was soft and soothing.

With each step she took, I found myself taking a very small step back. My body was shaking for a second but I regained control quickly so my squad couldn't see.

This is it. No turning back from this point. Come on Nate you can do this.

At this stage we were face to face and I stared into her eyes. She closed them, only to reopen them moments later but this time they were a solid black and our foreheads touched.

"We are all connected. Every living being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace Eternity!"

The Prothean vision flashed before my eyes only this time everything was far more clear. The smells were intensified, the feeling of choking on smoke was more excruciating, the site of the Reapers destroying the Prothean world and leaving only destruction in its wake was in clear detail. But the problem was it still made no sense. Even though it was clearer than on Eden Prime, it was still too rushed for me to actually get anything from it. And that giant, squid ship on Eden Prime was in this vision too.

Instead of passing out, this time I just received a massive headache.

"I have given you the Cipher, just as it was given to Saren. The ancestral memories of the Protheans are a part of you now," she said.

"That still made no sense"

"You have been given a great gift: the experience of an entire people. It will take time for your mind to process this information," Shiala explained.

Just as I was about to speak, I felt my legs fail me. I fell to my knees and a painful shock went through my brain. Rylee and Liara immediately ran to my side.

"Nate, are you alright?" Shepard asked concernedly.

"No," I coughed.

"You look a little—queasy. We should get you back to the ship so Dr Chakwas can get a good look at you," Williams suggested

"I am sorry if you have suffered, but there was no other way. You needed the Cipher. In time, it will help you understand the vision from the beacon," said Shiala.

"Before we leave. Shiala, I wanted to ask about my mother." Liara stated,

"She is not herself Liara. Whatever you may remember of Benezia has been perverted into Saren's thrall. But her motives for communicating with him were pure, however in retrospect they seem naïve. When she revealed her plan to join Saren, she gave her disciples a choice. Only those who were willing had to follow her. Many felt her plan was too dangerous. But I believed in her. I thought she could turn Saren away from his insanity. Instead, we joined him in it."

We proceeded to ask her about everything she knew of the Conduit and Saren's plans. She informed us that his ship, Sovereign was a ship unlike any she'd ever seen. Its weapons and armour were far superior to every ship in the known galaxy and with it, Saren was invincible. She even stated that it was most probably Sovereign which was indoctrinating Saren's followers. This probably means I'm going to have to find a cannon stronger than anything on the Citadel. This is going to be a pain.

I let Shiala live on the condition that she ensures that Zhu's Hope gets back to full strength. At the very least the colonists have an extra hand to help them with reconstruction. They all thanked us profusely, but mainly Liara and I since we helped restore power and water.

A lot of positives came from this mission. We saved a colony from corporate greed and heartlessness.


	8. His life is no longer in his own

**Location: Attican Beta, Theseus System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

We waited until the colonists awoke from their consciousness before heading back to the Normandy, they were incredibly thankful, particularly to Nate and I for restoring their water supply and clearing the geth from the tunnels.

Upon returning to the Normandy the Commander ordered everyone to get scanned and tested by Doctor Chakwas in order to see if the Thorian had any long term effects on us. As I hoped, none of us had any trace of Thorian spores in our blood or on our armour.

Feros showed me that there was another side to Nathan Anderson. From when I met him through every encounter I have had with him since he has shown he is a callous man. He lets nothing get in the way of his goal. He seemed more like a thug with a badge, than a protector of the galaxy. That was really the case when he allowed one of his former gang affiliates free on murder and armed robbery charges. I felt that humanity's first SPECTRE was the wrong person for the job. I thought he was going to perpetuate the stereotype of the angry, aggressive, human bully who the rest of the galaxy wishes would just go away.

However, what I witnessed on Feros was something completely different. He was so much more compassionate. He spoke to each individual colonist and he heard their stories. He sympathised with their situation, and by some miracle he managed to make them feel better about themselves.

He made sure that everyone was taken care of, he extended every kindness imaginable and he risked his life to help get Zhu's Hope functional again. I was even surprised that he let Shiala live. I doubt that he is one for second chances so I thought for sure he would kill her, but then he made the stipulation that her life depended on her willingness to help the colonists rebuild.

I could be more subtle about the fact that he was in my thoughts if I could stop staring at him. But I cannot, the juxtaposition of compassion and ruthless aggression had me intrigued. My interest in the Commander was also drawing the penetrating stare from Ashley.

"Commander? You look… pale. Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?" I asked

"My brain's been scrambled like an egg! How do you think I feel?" he snapped.

"I might be able to help you. I am an expert on the Protheans. If I join my consciousness to yours. Maybe we can make some sense of it"

"Nobody's messing with my head anymore! I'm sick of dealing with these visions!"

"I understand your reluctance, Commander. But the visions are already there. I only want to help you make sense of them. It may be the only way to stop Saren" I explained.

His nose and eye twitched at the thought of melding with me, he did not like the prospect and neither did I to be honest. The only people I have ever melded with were my mother and my cousins. My first melding with someone outside my family and even more so outside my species is going to be for something so… professional.

It will not be because it is with someone that I care about, but because it was necessary to complete a mission. All of those childhood fantasies about bonding with someone you truly love will come to nothing.

"Fine… let's just get this over with," he dismissed. And who said that romance is dead.

I could see the apprehension in his face when we stood from our respective seats and approached one another. He placed his hands on his stomach to prevent the rest of the room from seeing that they were trembling. I was the only one able to get a good look.

I saw the fear in his eyes a few hours ago when Shiala melded with him. Why does he fear it so? And an even better question, how did he know about the melding if he doesn't associate with other aliens?

"Relax Commander" I said before touching foreheads "Embrace eternity!"

~o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~

I have almost no idea what I am doing right now. Whenever I did this with my mother or my cousins, they would guide me about where to go to see certain memories or parts of the mind. But now I am going in blind and hoping to find the beacon.

This should not be as difficult as it was with them. They were hundreds of years old and they had many poignant memories so it was difficult to find what I needed. According to military records, Commander Anderson is only 29 years old so there should not be as many to navigate.

Now if my memory serves me right there is normally a part of the mind where the brain supresses certain memories. It would make sense that the Commander would repress the vision, it caused him quite a lot of stress and I doubt he likes the fact it is even in his mind.

I noticed that there were quite a few memories here. A lot of them involving either the Alliance or his gang the REDS. However, those are not my concern. I need to find his repressed memories. They should be near the bottom of this collection.

Repressed areas tend to be harder to gain access to, unless you are either experienced, or you are as strong willed as the person you are melding with. So I must be remarkably determined to stop Saren and my mother otherwise I should not be in this part of his mind.

I could not have been more wrong in my assumptions about his youth resulting in fewer memories. There are far more memories here than I could fathom. The only one I could recognise was the one of him, a few years younger than he is now.

 _He looked more or less the same, the only noticeable difference being that he had a shaved head then and he has a human military hair cut now._

 _He was sat outside, staring at the stars in his fatigues and not a weapon in sight. He was outside his tent by a camp fire set up by his Commanding officer. He has fond memories of him, Major Manual Rivera. He was from Eden Prime and popular with his troops and he often spoke of his children. He even confided in Nate about a daughter he had lost years earlier due to prenatal Eezo exposure._

 _Nathan was at ease with his place in life. He grew tired and eventually he fell asleep on the floor outside his tent. His last sight before sleep being the stars in the clear night sky. He felt far more at ease back in California and London than he did there._

 _He was woken up mere minutes later with the screams of Alliance personnel running away and the roar of an unknown creature. He jumped to his feet and to his horror there was a Thresher Maw in his midst. It was humungous, and its mouth was sizzling._

 _His horror was put on pause for a second we he felt the ground shaking and he saw some swells. Those swells turned out to be 2 other Thresher Maws, both slightly smaller than the one he had first seen._

 _The monsters began to massacre every Alliance soldier in the vicinity. Their acid spit and ability to get underneath people and eat them was proving to be an unfair advantage, allowing them to dispatch dozens of soldiers at a time._

 _The fear running through his body was palpable, however he was not petrified. He was thankful that he was a biotic so he could move better than everyone else. But he did not want to run away, he wanted to help out his fellow soldiers._

 _He picked up arms and started shooting at the Thresher Maws. Those bullets probably did little other than annoy the beasts. They turned their attention to anyone who shot at them and spat._

 _Nate's desire to live was astonishing. He was displaying exceptional physical ability in his strength and speed, attributes which I do not think most Asari ever achieve even after centuries of training and he was only in his early 20s. But his movement was awkward and unrefined, he obviously wasn't trained at all._

 _Nate began to panic. He was wearing no armour, he was tiring and there were only a few people left alive. Every tent was destroyed and corroded by the acid so he had nowhere to hide. All who remained were himself, Toombs, Rivera and Johnson._

 _"Everyone get out of here. There's no point in dying to them!" Rivera bellowed._

 _Even though Rivera wasn't a biotic, he could move even better than Nate due to experience and superior physical conditioning. They all ran into the wilderness hoping that the Thresher Maws would lose their trail. Unfortunately for Johnson, he was the slowest of the group so one of the Thresher Maws managed to catch him and eat him. His dying screams were shrill, loud and deeply disturbing._

 _"Holy shit. 48 top Alliance marines. All dead because of those bastards," Toombs muttered_

 _"It's gonna be 51 if we don't get the fuck outta here" Anderson urged_

 _"There was nothing we could do. There was no way of knowing that there were Thresher Maws here. This is the first time this planet has had any activity from those monsters," Rivera assured._

 _They were interrupted by the vibrations indicating that the Thresher Maw's were in pursuit and they were close._

 _"RUN!" Nathan yells._

 _After a few minutes of running they realised that they could not outrun the Thresher Maws. Nathan looks back to see that Toombs had broken away from us and he distracted 2 of the Thresher Maws. Whilst running he took a glimpse backward just in time to see Toombs get pulled underground by a Thresher Maw._

 _Nate's heart just drops upon seeing another one of his compatriots die. But the difference is that this one sacrificed himself to save him. But despite that, Nate continued to run forward. However, his run was disrupted by the final Thresher Maw appearing in front of him_

 _"Listen to me Nate. You are only 19 and you're turning 20 in the next few weeks. Run"_

 _"Fine but you're coming with me Major" Nate grabbed Rivera and ran before the Major could try and distract the beast._

 _The two of them ran into the forest to try and confuse the Thresher Maw. Nate stops to look back to see if they have lost the Thresher Maw. But Manuel kept going forward._

 _"Anderson, how's your amp fairing"_

 _"I'm fine. I haven't used my biotics in a while so it's doing good," Nate responded._

 _"Nate… I have to warn you. There's a waterfall right behind this hedge"_

 _"Why are you-?"_

 _Manuel had pushed Nate through the hedge. It took Nate a few seconds to register exactly what had just happened to him. He looked back at Rivera and reached for him, even though he knew it was pointless the hope was still there. The sheer amount of dread and frustration Nate was feeling at the time is palpable. It was at that moment he realised that he was going to be the Sole Survivor._

 _All Nate could do was regain control of his descent and use his own biotics to land on the far end on the forest. He was fortunate enough to find that there were no thresher maws present on the other side._

 _He spent the next week or so in the wilderness, waiting for the Alliance to pick him up. They sent an inspection team to find out why they'd gone dark a few hours after the incident but they missed Nate, since he wasn't at the base camp._

 _Days later they sent another search team and it was by dumb luck that they had managed to find Nate as opposed to pronouncing his KIA along with the rest of his unit. Before they found him, they discovered that everyone was dead and they could not get an accurate body count because the Thresher Maws either ate or disintegrated a lot of the soldiers. But it was assumed that Major Rivera and Corporal Toombs were dead._

 _Nate underwent months of psychiatric evaluation and they found that he was perfectly fine after the incident. He had to push everything to the bottom, no matter what. Everything he could learn from he kept, anything that brought about pain with no purpose was pushed to the recesses of his damaged mind. But you cannot force everything to the bottom. Something always seeps through the cracks, something always gets away to keep the pain on your mind. But he had to show everyone he was fine, still himself and ready for action._

 _He had to get back to work, time off meant time to think, to reflect and he did not want that. He wanted to forget. He put serious consideration into re-joining the REDS just to make sure that he was always busy._

 _Then there was a voice recording Manuel had sent him in his last moments alive._

So that was the infamous Akuze incident which first put Nathan Anderson on the map. He managed to survive in a forest where there were not only indigenous predators lurking and an abundance of poisonous food he somehow managed to stomach; but there were also Thresher Maws in the mix.

That sort of determination cannot be taught, you have to be born with it. You are an incredible man Nathan Anderson.

No more getting side tracked I need to find this repressed beacon memory.

I continued to search for the beacon but I was painfully lost. I need to focus, mother always said that you could find what you wish to find most if you concentrated hard enough. I carried on swimming through his subconscious, hoping to find what I was looking for.

However, I was side tracked when I saw a cage filled with corpses and one little boy sitting in the middle of with human meat on his face and vomit beside him. There were tears falling down his face and desperately wishing for everything to go away.

 _Such horrors and atrocities at this scale should never occur. The memories I am witnessing are… disconcerting. I see a group of Batarians in smart clothing all sitting in a dining room which is lined with caged people. It was a slave auction. They were bidding on children as though they were antiques, possessions that have no say and they require an owner._

 _It's sickening to see them joking and laughing whilst this. There are people in cages, most damaged and beaten, covered in scars and barely nourished. Whereas these slavers are eaten a well cooked meal and discussing which of the imprisoned they wish to buy._

 _Nate is removed from his cage and thrown onto the table. They whip his back and tell him to stand up straight. They list his attributes and the bids began to fly. Laughter rang through the hall as though it was a happy occasion and all who weren't in cages were as merry as can be._

 _Nate gets dragged off by a Batarian family and he is soon followed by a host of children and adults. Each of whom had been purchased by them. A young girl is in tears whilst being dragged away in chains. They stopped her and shot her in the head. Which in turn prompts another young boy to scream and he too is then shot. After he's killed the others all get the message._

 _Nate's chest feels empty and he feels like throwing up. But he keeps his fear on the inside for fear of his own life. He knows that his life is no longer in his own hands and he dreads what's to come._

A chill ran down my spine after witnessing that. Why was Nate in that predicament to begin with? There are no records indicating that he was ever a slave, and I used my mother's information network. The torment he experienced must have been horrific, I know that Batarians have an especially strong cruel streak whenever it came to humans.

 _The memory flashed forward to an underground lair. There are 3 Batarian guards standing outside and they are raping on of the asari children. Her shrieks fell on deft ears and they even motivate the guards to thrust harder. That child must not be a day over 20 and she is being brutalised by these monsters._

 _"Remember we can't damage the merchandise. This is our last night with this one so we should enjoy while we can but we can't break anything"_

 _One of them catches a glimpse of Nate and they spit at him. "Don't worry kid, we didn't forget about you. Once we're done with her. We're coming for you next. We'll leave you something to remember us by" he leered._

 _Nate looks at his biotic neutralising collar and wishing desperately for a way to remove it. The three guards approach Nate's cell with lecherous smiles and I pull away from that memory immediately._

There doesn't seem to be any memories before this point. But even amongst asari, there are weak memories of childhood. In his mind there are no traces of life before slavery.

 _The Batarian who… purchase Nate would… loan him out to others for… rent. The fact that these words were what he was thinking in regards to himself is appalling._

 _There were a multitude of houses he was sent to. The Turian in charge was running experiments on humans to test which torture method was the most effective. A Salarian scientist was performing experiments on humans to see how certain chemicals react with the human body on behalf of the Salarian Union, the Krogan who entered him in an illegal fight ring, the asari who used him as a sex slave, and they are only a very small fraction of what he has experienced. The sheer amount of memories he holds from his time in captivity makes me wonder how he ever functions._

 _However, there is one memory in this bunch which terrifies me more than anything else. In one of the asari homes he was sent to was a village on an unknown planet. Its inhabitants were all asari. For most men this would be their dream scenario. But I believe at that stage of his suffering, he must have been deathly afraid of aliens._

 _He was dressed with red, tribal markings on his…. By the goddess, they were going to sacrifice him. But for what purpose. He looked to the top of the steps to see an asari adorned in a golden dress, magnificent jewellery and she sat on a throne._

 _He stood in front of this asari. There was a stream of bodies on the floor leading to her. Nate looked down at them hopelessly. Each of them was wearing the same thing he was, and he aimlessly walked over the series of corpses. He had become completely desensitised to death._

 _She introduced herself as Samara and she said that she would introduce him to a world of pleasure beyond anything he had ever experienced before kissing him. She took pleasure in act of seducing him, however Nate was just empty and he didn't seem to care what she was doing to him._

 _Looking at the sea of corpses he realises that he's about to die._

That's an Ardat Yakshi. Goddess! Anderson must have been very lucky to have survived such an encounter. Someone had to have rescued him from this predicament.

 _Samara and Nate touched foreheads and she said an ancient asari mating prayer. During the melding, Nate felt a pain so disturbing that words can barely describe it. His nervous system was being overloaded and dominated by hers, and as a result he shook violently and fell dead at her lap._

That's impossible. He cannot be dead, otherwise how is he here today. It also gives reason as to why he was so fearful of melding.

 _Seconds later Nathan Anderson was getting up from Samara's lap and he looked at her expectantly. In reaction to his survival every asari bowed to the two on the throne._

 _Nate did not survive the encounter unscathed. He couldn't remember certain things afterwards. My guess would be the neural overload causes some neural pathways to be blocked or even removed completely. That would explain why he can't remember past a certain point in his life._

 _They melded twice more and each time he lost a little bit more of himself to the Ardat Yakshi. The third time they were interrupted by a Justicar interfering with the proceedings. The Ardat Yakshi ordered all of the villagers to attack the Justicar and hide her escape._

 _At the end of it only Nathan and a few other children escaped. The Justicar also introduced herself as Samara and she said that Ardat Yakshi uses different aliases to try and throw the real Samara off. The Justicar waited until the authorities had arrived to help the children before continuing her chase._

 _There is a blank in his memory. It's dark, nothing there. I don't understand what could possibly cause this to happen._

 _Next thing I can see in the sequence is him being picked up by a batarian ship. Within days Nate was back at his masters house and the abuse continued as though he had never left._

That's what else is so unsettling about all of this. These are vivid memories. I can see what he saw in perfect detail. This means he remembers this constantly, it must be almost impossible to get any sleep with these demons in your mind. Every detail, every word, every emotion felt is so raw that he can never forget this.

Eventually I managed to find the Prothean vision and I was able to see what it was that Nate had seen. The vision appeared incomplete. There was something missing. There must be a second part to this vision, another beacon which the Commander must get to if he's going to stop Saren and my mother.

Although the images and feeling of experiencing the vision were bad, the feeling was softened considerably by what I had just seen of Commander Andersons childhood.

~o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~ o~

Liara broke away from me and she stared at me. She looked disgusted and shocked by what she saw. The beacons vision can be pretty intense, I don't really blame her for being in the state which she's in. Witnessing death on such a scale can be incredibly disconcerting for a lot people.

"That was… unsettling. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so… intense. You are remarkably strong-willed, Commander. What you've been though, what you've seen, would have destroyed a lesser mind," she praised. I got the feeling that she was talking about more than just the Prothean beacon.

"Come on. Get to the point. What did you see?" Williams snapped.

"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are missing. The data transferred into the Commanders mind is incomplete"

I turned around and put my hands on my head and growled "Back to square fucking one again."

"Quite the opposite, Commander, I think my knowledge of the Protheans will prove useful before this is over," Liara defended.

"It had better be."

"I was able to interpret the data relayed through your vision. What was there, at least? But something was missing. Saren must seek the missing information. Maybe he's searching for another beacon, if we can find the missing data from your vision I can… Whoa!"

"Are you alright, Liara?" Rylee asked.

"I'm sorry. The joining is… exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment"

"Are you sure it was the joining? I feel fine" I added

"Your role in our communion is passive. I am the one who must submerge myself in your mind. Drown myself in your thoughts. It's more difficult than it looks. The human subconscious instinctively resists the joining, Commander. A strong personality like yours makes it even harder"

"Everyone, dismissed"

"I've sent off the Feros report, Commander. You want me to patch you through to the Council?" Joker inquired

"Sure, maybe this time they might have something useful to say other than 'why couldn't you have done this differently'."

"50 creds says you're wrong," he bet. Maybe this is one of those opportunities for me to bond with my crew"

"You're on Flight Lieutenant. And if you lose, I'll take your cap"

"Not my favourite hat. It cost me 10 creds at the Alliance warehouse in Paris" he chuckled.

The Council holograms appeared before me. None of them looked impressed. Maybe I shouldn't have taken Jokers bet.

"Commander. Is this some kind of game? Are you calling in a report just so you can cut us off again," Tevos tested.

"It's quite simple. Don't piss me off and I won't disconnect you."

"You don't make demands on us Anderson. SPECTRE's answer to the Council. Not the other way around", Sparatus counted.

"You need to back off and let me do my job" I asserted. I hate micromanagement.

"Of course Commander. We received your files on Feros, things would have been much easier if ExoGeni had told you about the Thorian." Tevos said.

"You might have been able to capture it for study," Valern complained.

"Yes!" Joker cheered over the intercom, which caused me to face palm.

"Ignore that. And with all due respect Councillor Valern. I've seen how far Salarians have gone for science. There's no way I'd trust anything that dangerous with anyone. Not even the Council."

"Yes, short sighted as always. That's how you humans usually act. Why should we expect any different," Sparatus spewed more of his racist rhetoric.

"The Thorian enslaved and killed innocent civilians. Or does that not matter to you because their human. Well, Councillor" I challenged. I'm sick of aliens thinking they can walk all over humanity and treat us any type of way.

"Perhaps it's for the best then. At least the colony was saved," Tevos smiled.

"Of course it was saved. Anderson would go to any lengths to help a human colony" Sparatus interjected.

"Go FU-" I was about to finish the sentence before Joker cut the line.

"Whoops, lost the connection sir, sorry. But on the bright side, I'm fifty credits richer"

David and Udina aren't going to be happy about this one.


	9. Stay the hell away from me

**Location: SSV Normandy SR-1**

We were currently en route to the Sol System. Alliance Command called us about a Rogue VI which had taken over Luna Base and was slaughtering Alliance Marines like sheep. Obviously I told Joker to change course from the Citadel to Luna.

Whilst we were travelling I took a page out of the Quarian Captain's book and I visited each member of my crew individually. The Normandy was a small vessel so there were only 27 people serving excluding the combat crew. I spoke with the Ensigns outside the cockpit and I got to know a little about why they joined the Alliance and their motivation behind the mission.

I spoke to people who worked in the CIC and my XO for the first time. Quite a few of them didn't agree with my allowing aliens onto the ship. Most of them were generational marines, so they had family who fought and died in the First Contact War. I had to reassure them that this was still an Alliance ship and that they could be trusted.

To be honest, that was only fair considering that they each have earned my trust, in combat at least. The jury was still out on Dr T'Soni but she was proving herself to be a decent fighter. They have all matched my determination and dedication to this mission, they've followed every suicidal order I have given and they've come out of it alive. My ground team is definitely filled with the best the galaxy has to offer. Anything less would mean we'd end up dead.

I had finished my round and it only took me an hour and a bit. That left me now with my ground team to talk to. I'll talk to Alenko, see what he's up to.

 **~o~o~o~o~o~**

I walked into the cockpit, hoping to hang out with Joker for a little bit before we get back to Earth. Nate was on a mission and he was talking to everyone on the ship. He told them that if they had any concerns that they should come to him and he'd try to sort it out. At least he's trying to build bridges with the crew, rather than keep up his ice queen routine.

When I walked in I felt a happy aura in the cockpit and Joker greeted me with a smile.

"What's got you in such a good mood?"

"When Commander Anderson was here a couple of minutes ago. He gave me 50 credits."

"What for?"

"I made a bet with him that the Council would be complete dicks and I was right."

"Share some of the love Joker"

"No way, get your own Commander that makes stupid bets for big money."

"50 creds is big money?"

"Do you have any idea how little an Alliance helmsman's pay is. Even one as amazing as I am."

"Clearly too much considering you almost let us fry on Therum."

"I deserve a medal for what I did on Therum. Preferably gold to silver. The Commander should recommend me for pulling all your asses out of that fire."

"If he recommended you for a medal, you'd have ended up sitting on a stage listening to politicians make speeches for a couple hours." I smirked

"That's a good point. They'd probably make me shave too. I spent the last seven weeks working on this baby. No medal's worth that."

I enjoyed the banter I had with Joker. Everything I say seemed to bounce off of him and he could turn it into a joke. It's pretty ironic that he got the nickname because he never smiled.

I started flicking through the video feed around the Normandy. Jeff and I joked about recording everything and going to Citadel Broadcasting System (CBS) with a new reality show 'Life on the Normandy'. On tonight's episode, Kaidan and Nate had exited the showers after hitting the gym.

"Spying on your man-candy again, Rylee. You do realise you have Adonis on crutches sitting right beside you," Joker grouched.

"Yeah Adonis, there's nothing a girl finds sexier than a man whose bones you could break with a little light over the clothes action." I countered.

"Always have to pull the Vrolik Syndrome card don't you. It's all you got."

"It's all I need" I scoffed.

My eyes were drawn to Nate. And then his eyes- they were deep but uninviting, a vivid green as a great body of water that softly melted into a milky chocolate. A prominent jaw curved gracefully around and the strength of his neck showed in the twining cords of muscle that shaped his entire body; strong arms, bold thighs and calves, a firm chest and abdomen. He had distinct cheekbones and to add to his redbone skin which made him look devilishly handsome.

Kaidan: I'm glad there aren't many aliens like the Thorian. I don't think my stomach could take it. One of my cousins has an agribusiness. I was thinking of calling him. Maybe get a few shipments into Feros. I mean, now that they're cut off from the company.

Nate: They are going to need every bit of help they can get. It's a damn miracle that they even lasted until we showed up

Kaidan: Do you have some time to talk now, Commander?

Nate: Let's hear it, Lieutenant. I'm always open to my officers.

Kaidan: We've played it pretty close to the book so far. But we're a long way from backup. We've got some tough calls to make. I'm just saying…try to leave yourself a way out. I've seen what cutting corners can do to someone. And I'd hate to have that happen to you, Nathan. Commander.

Nate: Nathan? Is that an appropriate way to address your Commander, Lieutenant.

Kaidan: I was speaking to you as a friend, Commander. Not as my CO

Nate: My friends call me Nate, Kaidan.

Kaidan: I'm not questioning any decision you've made, Nate. Let me be clear about that. It's just my experience that once someone lets something slide, it tends to pick up speed. You get my meaning?

Nate: You're talking about a particular example, aren't you?

Kaidan: You know the records about the biotic training out on Jump Zero? They're all classified. Because the Alliance made mistakes. After first contact, Conatix was set up to track element zero exposures and develop implants for humans. Once we had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix could bring in "experts" instead of taking it slow.

Nate: Why couldn't we do it alone?: Is there some reason we couldn't learn it on our own?

Kaidan: They didn't know where to start. Hell, it took a couple years to even link biotics and eezo. Forget trying to get the kids to move stuff. They had trouble just helping them not break their own limbs. And their choice of teachers didn't help much.

Nate: The only experts would have to be aliens

Kaidan: Dead on. Turians, actually. That's why Conatix kept it secret. They were afraid of what people back home would think. Asking the turians for help when we'd just fought a war with them.

Nate: The asari would have been more acceptable than the turians.

Kaidan: Yes, but the company didn't go through the Citadel. It would have made Earth look weak. So they discreetly hired some turian mercenaries.

Nate: Get your knuckles rapped a few times, Lieutenant?

Kaidan: Yeah, you could say that. Our instructor was a turian by the name of Commander Vyrnnus. To introduce himself, he liked to say, "I was at the helm of the dreadnaught that killed your father." I told him my dad wasn't in the war. He'd retired to Vancouver. My family had an inland home that matured to new beachfront. Vyrnnus had it in for me after that. He cut corners, pushed hard. I mean, you either came out a superman or a wreck. And a lot of kids snapped. A few died. The point of all this – I guess – is that when you cut corners, it's not always obvious who pays for it.

Nate: Am I supposed to talk you down now or something? Because I'm not so good at therapy.

Kaidan: I'm thirty-two, Nate. You don't serve as long as I have without coming to terms with yourself. You also learn that if you care about someone, you help them. Try to keep them from making mistakes

Nate: I hear you Kaidan, but you don't need to worry about me. I'll do whatever it takes to do the right thing. And right now doing the right thing means stopping Saren.

Kaidan: Aye, aye sir

Nate: Make sure you're ready. You're a part of the ground team when we reach Luna.

 **~o~o~o~o~o~**

"So, we've got Saren on the run," Wrex stated

"It's only a matter of time before I get my hands on him. Saren may be good, but I'm better" I bragged.

"Good, he's rotten. To the core. I could tell as soon as I met him."

"You didn't think to tell me this earlier?"

"I would have if I thought it was important."

"That's for me to decide, Wrex. Anything even remotely connected to this mission, I need to know."

"This was a while ago, a bunch of mercs were bragging about a job, out near the edge of the Terminus system. They said it paid really well, and the boss was never around to ride them. They said he was looking for more men too, so I checked it out."

"So Saren was openly recruiting mercs."

"It wasn't that open. And he only showed his face once. We'd been raiding ships in the area for months until we took out this massive cargo freighter. Our biggest haul yet. I was on board checking bodies for valuables. Looking for some extra credits. That's when I saw him."

"What did he want with the ship?"

"I don't know what he wanted, he was just moving through the ship… watching… couple of the mercs called him by name but he never spoke to them. Never spoke to anyone—I had a really bad feeling about him. So I got the hell out, didn't even wait to get paid."

"What was on the ship? What did Saren want?"

"I don't know, all I saw on that ship was food and medical supplies. There were some basic weapons but nothing big. If there was anything of value on that ship, I didn't see it. That's why I didn't mention it sooner."

"Who's ship was it."

"It was a Volus trading vessel, big one, lots of guards. But they were no match for us."

"That's the only time you ever saw him."

"Yeah, didn't even know who he was, still wouldn't if I hadn't joined with you. But my instincts were right, every other merc on that mission turned up dead within a week. Every damn one."

I got the sense that he didn't want to talk anymore so I said my goodbyes to the Krogan. Wrex and I had a good relationship; I gave him his space and in return he didn't cause trouble on the ship. There was also how well we worked together in combat, I was totally in sync with him and it was nice to have someone with me when I charge into the heart of the battlefield.

I spoke to Garrus in great detail about the perks of being a SPECTRE and working above the law, over working with C-Sec. Garrus was obviously angry and bitter about how he left. I think he might have some unfinished business but he's not ready to tell me and I'll respect that.

Tali was feeling homesick after being away from the migrant fleet for so long and she was finding it too quiet to sleep. However, she assured me that it was something she'd get used to and it made her all the more determined to stop Saren and complete her pilgrimage. What surprised me most about her was just how good a fighter she was and she was only 20. She's a good kid, if I can aid her in her pilgrimage then I'll do it.

The next stop was Ashley, I'm guessing she's off duty so she'll probably be in her quarters on the Crew Deck. After a brief chat with my requisition officer I was able to procure more upgrades for my weapons and I ordered the new omni-tools Tali and Kaidan were asking for.

When I arrived, she was underneath her duvet and I could hear voices. She's probably talking to someone or she's watching a vid.

"-Oh, before I go. You said you're serving with Commander Anderson now? We saw him on the news here. He's cute. Later sis." Ashley's sister sang.

She smiled whilst shaking her head, that was before catching a glimpse of my shadow looming over her. She turned around slowly and upon making eye contact she immediately closed her eyes.

"I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a bad dream," she smiled hopefully. "Please tell me you didn't hear that."

"I'm guessing that's your sister."

"Until I get home and kill her. That's Sarah. The youngest."

"Your family seems important to you"

"Yeah, we've always been close. Me and my sisters, especially. With dad on duty so much, I had to help mom raise them."

She explained about how her father was an underappreciated soldier and how her mother gave up everything to raise her and her sisters. Sometimes I wonder if my parents cared about me, or if they even missed me. They could be dead or even worse, they could have been the ones who sold me.

She told me a story about her sister getting a boyfriend who was sexually aggressive and wanted to do the deed. She kicked his ass and he apologised for his behaviour. I guess it's easy to take down little boys rather than fully grown men and women who want to…

My eyes shot open and my body tensed. No Nate stop going back there. What is going on? I had all of this locked away in my mind. I forced myself to forget what happened so why am I still thinking about it. It never happened dammit.

I ran out of her quarters and staggered to mine, completely ignoring any crew members that may have seen me. I locked the door and slid down the wall.

Akuze, Torfan, the damn aliens… none of it.

Stop! No more burning flesh. No more hitting. No more yelling. No more abuse! SSSTTTOOOPPPP!

Strapped to the desk/ Smell of some unknown drug thickens the air/Almost impossible to breathe. I'm choking/ Salarian woman hovers above me/ Needle in her hands with some liquid dripping/ I begin to struggle against the restraints, desperate to break free/ I can't/ Their too tight/ I can't move/ I can't breathe/ NOOOOOOO!

No more going back to that place DAMMIT! Forget the smells, the taste, the sounds the bars closing, the labour, the rape. The surge of electricity running through my body. The drugs flooding my system.

Screaming. Shaking. Flailing. Sweating. Crying. Hurting. Cutting. Bleeding. Choking. Coughing. Vomitting. Burning. Branding. Convulsing. Electrocuting. Drowning. SSSTTTOOOOPPPPP!

I said a rushed goodbye and I made a beeline for Dr T'Soni. What the hell did the Doctor do to me? It's all flooding back and I can't control it anymore.

 **~o~o~o~o~o~**

I rushed into her office, barging past Rylee and Dr Chakwas in the med-bay. When the door opened Liara was at her desk sitting down. When I stormed in she was smiling. That smile quickly vanished when I grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her into the wall and held her there.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!? ANSWER ME NOW!" I commanded.

Rylee and Dr Chakwas ran in after me and Rylee tried to separate us. "Nate calm down and drop her"

"Not until she explains what the fuck she did to me!" I bellowed.

"Dr Chakwas lock the door and stay in the med-bay." Rylee instructed. The doctor nodded at Shepard and left the room quietly,

"Nate put her down, calm down so we can talk this through."

As she said this, more images of my past started to flash in my mind. I began jerking and flinching, my eyes started twitching and I dropped her to the ground. My hands found themselves on my skull, digging into my skin as I screamed. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

I did not work this hard getting past all of this only to have it start fucking with me now!

Rylee and Liara both knelt by my side. Neither of them touched me but they both looked concerned. The doctor seemed less shocked at what she was seeing. I looked at my hands to see the feint shimmer of biotic energy radiating off of them.

Could she have seen it during the melding?

"I am sorry Commander, I think melding with me may have caused this. I must confess that I'm not that experienced," Liara apologised.

"If that's the case, then it's never happening again," I stated.

"Nate we have to find the other half of that beacon. Once we do we are going to need Liara to meld with you again," Rylee reasoned.

"What are you looking at?" I threatened the asari. The more she looked at me, the more suspicious I grew. She knows something and she will tell me.

She remained silent and opted to stare at the ground instead of answering my question. "I am going to ask you again Doctor. And if you don't answer me then you'd better get your ass off of my damn ship ASAP. What did you do to me?" I snarled.

She ran her hands over her head tendrils. "When I was in your mind I discovered that you were supressing the beacon vision. Probably as a means of protecting yourself from those horrific images. So I had to venture into your repressed memories," she explained.

"You saw everything didn't you" I didn't pose a question, I just stated a fact.

"Not everything. But what I saw was… unsettling."

Rylee was standing in between us, she probably thought that she was protecting Liara from me.

"I saw what happened on Akuze."

Upon mentioning Akuze images of Toombs and Rivera popped into my head.

"Then you know how I survived."

"You were fortunate to evade the thresher maws. However, you are remarkably driven to have been able to survive in the wilderness."

Akuze is the primary reason I train my biotics to their peak and always make sure I have the latest amp fitted. It's also the main reason I developed the biotic tether. If I knew it back then, maybe Rivera would be alive today.

But I need to be sure that's all she knows.

"What else did you see?"

She gulped, then her mouth hung open, almost as if the words failed just short of the air. She has to know that the more time that passes without her answering my question, the angrier I become.

"I saw… the Ardat-Yakshi and what happened with the batarians in your childho-"

I interrupted her by again forcing her into the wall. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING LOOKING AROUND MY MIND!? HUH!"

"Nate calm down."

I refused to calm down and I could feel my biotics flaring. The anger in me wouldn't subside. Not after what this blue bitch has just done to me. Why would she snoop around my memories. All of that is in the past where it belongs. The nightmares were starting to stop, or at least they weren't happening every night. Focusing on my military life has helped considerably; it gave me something to do that required my full attention.

And now, she's opened the flood gates and I can't get them back in check.

 _No Nate! You know that you need her to stop Saren. Killing her serves no purpose and doing it could mean that Saren wins._

Who cares. You're anger is all you need to sustain you. Kill her now. End your suffering.

 _Nate don't do it. You can't let the galaxy burn because of your anger. Let her go and walk away._

She brought it all back. You buried it deep down inside you. She shoved it right back in your face

 _Saren is too dangerous to give him an edge_

Kill her. Snap her neck. It'll be so easy.

 _Do the right thing here Nate._

Do what feels right

 _You know what to do._

I dropped the doctor on the ground. Saren is too big of a threat for me to give him any sort of edge. I can't leave her anywhere else, in case Saren comes after her again.

"Stay the hell away from me." I snarled before stomping out of the room.


	10. I know this girl

**Location: SSV Normandy SR-1**

After his fight with Liara, Nate stayed in his Quarters for the rest of the journey. I knew he needed space to think and try and get his head right for the mission. But the more time passed, it made less and less sense for me to even let Nate go groundside.

Liara's kept her mouth shut about whatever it is that she saw in Nates mind and I don't want to ask him because it's clearly very raw for him.

We were still a few hours out from the moon and Nate hadn't eaten a thing in 22 hours. He's a biotic so that's almost as if he hasn't eaten in two days.

I ordered the rest of the supplies from the Mess Sergeant and walked into Nates room. We are going to have to go to Earth to resupply. Giving up our supplies to help Zhu's Hope was incredibly noble, but also risky in case we ran into something that would have delayed us.

Upon entry you would think I'd walked into a bombsite. The room was an absolute mess. There were books and datapads all over the floor, the shelves were destroyed and mangled beyond the point of recognition and the walls were lined fist dents; most likely due to a combination of powerful biotics and an unstable mind. The one part that seemed to have even a semblance of order was his bed

"Nate," I said. There was no answer forthcoming as I expected. He was lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He was oddly at peace with the chaotic environment that surrounded him. He was the eye of the storm, and I'm going in.

"Joker told me we'll reach the moon in 9 hours. Tell Wrex, Garrus and Tali to suit up," he said dismissively.

"We should have all hands on deck for this one. We don't know how much of the moon the VI controls."

"You don't think I can work with the Asari, do you?"

"What do you think?" I challenged.

He remained silent for a moment. "Fine, she can come," he responded evenly. "I'm a professional, I can work with the Asari for now. She'd better pray to her goddesses that I never find her once this mission is over."

I felt a chill run down my spine because of the way he said it. His voice was so cold, robotic and lifeless that I started questioning if it was even Nate on the bed. I've never heard him speak like that, he's talked about hunting people down before, but he was either angry or he was joking. This sounded like a genuine threat, one he planned on carrying out, and with his SPECTRE clearance, he could do it without batting an eye.

"What could she have possibly seen that could make you this way?"

"That's none of your concern Rylee. It's in the past and right now she's the only other person in the galaxy who knows the details."

"Details of what?"

He stood up from his bed and staggered towards me. The idiot is a biotic and he hasn't eaten a thing in all day. The closer he got, the unrulier he appeared. His eyes were bloodshot, the bags underneath them imply he hasn't slept in days and the smell could have killed a rat.

"The worst thing that's ever happened to me. And before you ask… no I'm not going to tell you. If I did then I'd have to kill you."

Oh Nate, whatever happened to you must have been horrific if it has left you this deeply damaged and disturbed. Right now I can't help you. And the only person that can actually help right now is the last person you want to talk to. He can't speak about it to me, but Liara already knows, I have to convince her talk to you about it but right now that's looking impossible.

"Get some sleep. If you're still in this state when we arrive at Luna, then I'll get Wrex to knock you out. No sense in getting you killed," I threatened

I dropped the rations at his feet and exited the CO's quarters. I'll ask Liara after the mission on Luna. The two of them still need their space.

 **Location: Local Cluster, Sol System, Luna**

Working with Liara again was proving to be easier than I initially thought it would be. She made it easier by keeping her distance. She knew what she had to do when dealing with the drones that the VI was throwing at us and she managed to work well with the rest of us.

Me on the other hand, I was surprised that I was still alive. Normally I wouldn't struggle much against mindless drones but for some reason I was taking a lot of shots. My instincts, Garrus' marksmanship and Tali's tech expertise were the only reason I wasn't dead right now.

We'd taken two of the three strongholds that the VI was controlling. The VI was getting stronger and more defensively secure, as we destroyed its defences. It's almost as if it's an AI. What the fuck is the Alliance doing? Experimenting with shit like this tends to lead to a lot of dead bodies.

"Expect heavy resistance. This is the VI's last defence so it'll probably throw everything it's got at us," I instructed.

"We're ready, Commander," Ashley assured.

"The server is the main priority. We need to get Tali into the server room so she can shut this whole thing down." I commanded.

"Yes sir!" Kaidan, Ashley and Rylee each saluted.

I opened the door, only to find that there was a kinetic barrier in the way. Upon the door opening, three of the drones had queued up behind the barrier, just waiting for us to destroy it.

"The one who breaks that barrier is committing suicide. They'll rip through our barriers before we can even move," Wrex stated.

He was right. The passage was fairly narrow and we could all barely fit in it. If we back up too far, the door closes, too close and we're screwed. My shockwave is useless against kinetic barriers so I can't move them from behind the door.

"Wrex, I have an idea,"

"Let's hear it, Anderson" he responded shortly. I guess he's pissed about something now.

"I need to stand on your shoulders. Someone destroys the barrier and the moment they do, I charge straight at the drones," I suggested.

"Why do you need to be on my shoulders?"

"I need to see the drones clearly, with no obstructions and we obviously can't be at the front when it happens."

"Couldn't one of us just lay on the ground and destroy the barrier, whilst you stand behind us?" Garrus stated.

"If my timing is off by a second then you're screwed since you won't be able to defend yourself. At least if your weapons are ready, you could have a fighting chance."

"This is real unorthodox, Anderson," Tali piped in.

"You really are a crazy one," Garrus said.

"This had better work Anderson," Wrex growled.

I did as instructed and Liara broke the barrier. I charged straight at the second her last shot fired so I managed to disperse the door drones.

Liara and Tali ran into the room, Tali had her shotgun cocked and ready for action. She went to work on the Drones on the left side of the room whilst Rylee, Garrus and Wrex took care of the left side.

Me on the other hand, I was sloppy with my charge and I lost concentration after impact. I landed awkwardly on the ground. That would be an understatement, I landed head first on the corner of a metal crate from over two meters in the air. I felt myself slowly slipping away, I shouldn't be this exhausted.

Liara ran to my side whereas everyone else proceeded with the mission. She started inspecting my armour before looking at my helmet.

"It looks like that landing damaged your breather. You are inhaling the poisonous gas," she informed.

"Get… away from me," I wheezed.

She ignored my request and took off my helmet and put her breather over my head. "This should prevent the effects from getting worse," she stated.

I struggled to my feet and glared at the Asari. "Keep your distance Asari. I haven't forgotten what you've done,"

She began coughing and then she put a hand over her mouth and nose. That won't help much. She needs to get out of here, if she dies now, my advantage over Saren disappears. But without a breather, she can't leave this base; she'll suffocate in the moons atmosphere.

"Joker, get your ass over here. Dr T'Soni is in need of immediate medical aid."

"Aye, aye Commander"

A few minutes later, Rylee and the rest of the squad emerged with a cluster of datapads. Rylee and Kaidan stayed behind to keep Liara company whilst they waited for the Normandy to arrive.

I left the Doctor in the care of people who actually cared about her so I went outside. Wrex, Tali and Ashley had gone to the other bases to see if there was anything else of value that the Alliance might need or what weapons were available. Garrus on the other hand, was standing outside, his attention was squarely on me and he was not happy.

"I see you're wearing Liara's helmet, Commander," Garrus accused.

"My helmet got damaged during the mission, she took hers off and put it on me. The gas made it impossible for me to stop her."

"I know it got damaged Commander, I saw it happen when you landed on the crate."

"So what the hell are you implying, Vakarian," I snapped.

"I'm not implying anything, Commander. I'm telling you that your performance today was horrible." He stated.

"I had a bad day," I defended.

"In our line of work Anderson, a bad day means you're dead. If you were with any other squad you'd be dead right now," Garrus countered. "You were making mistakes out there Anderson. The inexcusable kind. You were wasting shots, you were always overexposed in cover and your biotics were unstable."

"I've had a lot on my mind lately," I countered.

"Is the stress of the mission getting to you? Is that it?"

"Why won't everyone just stay out of my damn business!" I fumed. I could see the faint shimmer of my biotics, encapsulating my arm.

Garrus approached me when my back was turned "Listen, Commander," he said. He put his hand on my shoulder, that combined with the Turian subharmonic in his voice caused me to slap his hand away on instinct.

He raised his hands defensively. "The kind of pressure you're under would crush any normal person, regardless of their race. Facing up against anything capable of wiping out an entire species is a daunting task, so I wouldn't hold it against you if you-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence Vakarian." I warned "I'll see this through… not out of some foolish pride or stubbornness, but because I am the best man for this job. My Prothean visions make it impossible for me to not be involved and I refuse to stand on the sidelines."

I took the opportunity to square up to Garrus. "If you or anyone else thinks that I can't do this they are free to get off of the ship at Earth. But me, I am going to stop Saren, even if I have to die," I growled.

"Sorry for doubting you Commander. I'm sure you already know about the crew's state of mind. You've improved their morale that's for sure, but you're not done yet. You need to get them to believe in you with everything they have."

"I know, it's easier said than done."

"The ground team all believe in you have a shot at stopping Saren. Rylee, Tali, Kaidan and Ashley all believe you will do it."

I couldn't help but chuckle grimly "You left Wrex, Liara and yourself off of that list."

"I don't speak to Wrex often and I haven't spoken to Liara at all outside of combat. Wrex holds a grudge over the Genophage so our conversations have to be short for the sake of the crew."

"Genophage?"

"It's a long story. Wrex probably knows it better than me anyhow," he deflected. "But I'd say he'll do what he thinks is best."

"Then why does he follow my orders?"

"I'm guessing it's because you've thought along the same lines as him so he doesn't mind listening. But the moment you do something he's completely against, expect him to draw a weapon against you, Commander. Be prepared."

"Noted"

"What about you Garrus? Do you think I can beat Saren?"

"You want an honest answer, Anderson?"

I nodded.

"I don't know if you can do this. We're fighting blind right now and I can't even begin to comprehend what we're up against. The power of that ship on Eden Prime is enough to win any war single handed," he explained.

This leadership thing was so much simpler when I was leading a small squad of combatants. Being put in charge of a ship where I need more than just combat experience is proving to be a real challenge.

"But I believe that you're the best shot we've got. I think that if you can't do this, no one else in this galaxy can," Vakarian finished.

"I appreciate you're honesty Garrus. It helps keep me grounded."

 **Location: Local Cluster, Sol System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

We got back aboard the ship with the Doctor in need of Dr Chakwas' services. Liara was going to pull through, the toxin in her system was fairly weak and it would sort itself out fairly quickly. To be on the safe side, she banned the Doctor from combat for the next week.

I entered the Cargo Bay in order to clean my weapons and clear my head. Thankfully, the only person there was Wrex. The crew had a tendency to give him a wide berth, which was good since it was probably what was keeping the majority of them alive.

"Wrex."

"Anderson."

He was leaning against the wall with a bored expression on his face. If I am going to get this whole crew together, I need to be well versed on their behaviour and personalities. Out of everyone the one I have the least info on is Wrex. "What's your story Wrex?"

He opened his eyes and shot me a cold glare. "There is no story," he breathed "Go ask the Quarian if you want stories" he growled

"You Krogan live for centuries. I was just curious to see if you'd had any interesting adventures."

"Well, there was this one time the Turians almost wiped out my race. That was fun," I had missed out on the Krogan version of sarcasm in his tone.

"They tried the same with us, but we fought them off."

"It's not the same," he retorted with an inflexion of hurt and anger.

"What's the difference?" I wondered innocently.

"So your people were infected with a genetic mutation? An infection that makes only a few in a thousand children survive birth? And I suppose it's destroying your entire species?" Wrex questioned with the intent to shock.

"They used biological warfare? I thought that it was banned by the Council."

"You're Councillors have about as much honour as Hanar shit! I don't expect you to understand, but don't compare humanity's fate with the Krogan."

"I was just making conversation. I wasn't trying to upset you."

"Your ignorance doesn't upset me, Anderson. As for the Krogan, I gave up on them a long time ago. The genophage infected us, but it's not what's killing us," he finished.

I got the feeling he didn't want to speak to me anymore so I just left and used the weapons rack.

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

"See you later, Kaidan," Rylee waved Lt. Alenko away as he headed towards the crew quarters. That left Rylee, Tali and I alone in the Med-bay. Everyone else was at their stations and Nate was in the cargo bay.

"I like Kaidan, he's a really nice guy," Tali lauded.

"I'd be careful Tali, I think that Rylee has designs on him," I joked.

"Oh- I'm not interested in him I assure you," the Quarian panicked.

"Liara's only messing with you Tali," Shepard reassured our Quarian friend.

"Oh… I actually thought that you and Kaidan were interested with one another too."

"Why?"

"I must not be as adept at understanding human interaction as I thought. You were showing the same signs of attraction as Asari do."

"Are you talking about the banter?" Rylee asked.

"I'd probably call it flirting," Dr Chakwas added whilst popping into the room.

"You too Doctor"

"I'm merely calling it as I see it. Though I doubt the two of you will ever act on it. Alliance Regulations and all."

"Kaidan is generally an easy going guy, but when it comes to relationships he takes it really seriously… The only way I could get involved with him would be if I was to go all in," Rylee responded with her brows slightly furrowed and her hand rubbing her forearm. She's nervous about the topic.

"Do I sense some hesitation there, Lieutenant."

"None Doctor Chakwas. I was just trying to find the best way to phrase myself."

Doctor Chakwas chose not to press the matter any further. She then proceeded to examine me to see if the gas I inhaled would have any lasting effects. Thankfully there weren't any so once all of it is out of my system I'll be cleared for combat.

"Liara let's go to your usual spot. We need to discuss the mission," Rylee ordered and took me into my space.

"Why did you give Nate your mask on Luna. I mean I'm grateful you did it and all but that was incredibly stupid. All of us could see that Nate was fighting horribly by his own high standards. You breathed in way more of that stuff than Nate did. We probably would have been better off had you not risked your own life."

"Call it a guilty conscience… I violated his privacy and I guess I must have viewed that as my atonement."

"Liara we need you for this mission, just as much as we need Nate. You said it yourself, there are parts of the Beacons message that are missing. You're going to need to meld with him again to piece everything together."

"I don't think that's going to be possible, the commander probably wants me gone as soon as possible."

"Let me handle Nate, he won't like it but he will do it for the sake of the mission. For now, you should keep a low profile and let this blow over."

I couldn't help but laugh at the notion of this blowing over. "He won't let this go, and to be honest I wouldn't blame him."

"What did you see?"

"Something he desperately wishes to forget."

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

We were now in Earth's atmosphere and we were headed to Vancouver. I was admittedly excited to be back home. I haven't been here in about a month but it feels like it's been years, given what I've gone through.

"Umm Commander we have a problem."

"What is it Joker?"

"The Docking Bay is unavailable at the moment. There's someone attempting to kill themselves and they're having trouble convincing her not to do it."

"Can't we just land somewhere else in the bay?"

"Every frigate has a specific spot, Commander."

"Okay, I'll be up there in a minute"

This is annoying. I was planning on resupplying and leaving ASAP. Now we have to wait for specialists to try and talk this woman down.

"Put me through to whoever's in charge, Joker."

A hologram appeared of an Alliance officer, judging from his medals I'd say he's a Lieutenant. "Hello, Commander Anderson. I am Lieutenant Girard. I'm afraid you can't dock here at the minute."

"Why Lieutenant?"

"There's a woman here… uh she was rescued from batarian slavers a few weeks ago. She's from Mindoir. I guess she was taken in the raid in 2165," Girard explained.

From the corner of my eye I could see that Rylee had tensed up at the mention of Mindoir.

"She's been a slave for the past 18 years?" I whispered. I don't know how long I was enslaved for but I know that it had to be less than 5 years, and even that made me suicidal for a few years after I was freed. No wonder this woman wants to end her own life.

"Is she alright, Lieutenant?" Rylee inquired.

"Not really, she's a little messed up. She got free somehow. Grabbed a gun from one of my guys. Now she's holed up here in the Docking Bay. She-uh… she says she wants to die," Girard said.

"We can't let that happen, Girard," Rylee asserted.

"I've tried everything I can but she seems adamant on dying."

"Show us a picture of her."

An image of a young girl appeared on the screen. She had an uneven buzz cut with numerous bald patches, scars and scratches marring her neck and shoulders, skinny arms that appeared surprisingly healthy and bruises on her cheeks. The clothes she wore were simple, definitely not Alliance but eerily familiar to me.

"Lieutenant, do you have a picture of the back of her neck?"

He didn't respond but instead just sent a picture of a back shot. I zoomed in on the neck and my fears were realised. The serial number on her neck was unmistakable, neither was the logo that was burned into her skin by hot metal. She's been branded.

I know this girl.


	11. You won't dream about anything

Nate appeared shocked after seeing the woman on the screen. He was visibly disturbed by her appearance, but there was more to it than that. I just know it.

"Joker, land in the closest available clearing. SPECTRE Authorisation."

He looked up at Nate quizzically "Aye, aye Commander."

"Are you going to talk her down?" I asked.

He took a pause before answering "No… that's not part of my job."

He walked away toward the opposite end of the CIC.

"He's probably scared that he might say something that could make her kill herself. I mean, looking at his track record, he's not exactly the best at comforting or consoling people," Joker explained Nate's actions.

But the shock in his eyes wasn't that of someone horrified by what he saw, but of someone who had just seen a ghost from his past.

"No that's not it. When he saw her face… I can't really describe it, but I'd say that seeing that girl stirred something up in him."

"Since he isn't doing it I'm guessing you're going to try and talk her down."

"You know me so well Mr Moreau. I couldn't forgive myself if I stood by and let her kill herself."

"Yeah, well good luck."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

I sat down in the mess alone. Everyone had gotten their breakfast and they returned to their quarters to prepare for Shore Leave. We'll be on Earth for 4 days whilst waiting for the Council to deliver more information on Saren's next move.

But all of that was inconsequential to me after seeing Talitha again for the first time 14 years. When I was first… sold, she was with me. She was smaller than me so I assumed that she was younger than me too. By how much… I don't know.

I don't even know how old I really am to be honest. I just said I was 18 all those years ago so the Alliance would let me enlist. If I had to guess I'd say I was in my late 20's, early 30's.

However, back then age didn't matter to them. So long as their… stock was excelling in their labour and the slaver's made their money. Grown men and women used us for sex, hard manual labour, as furniture, decoration and any other sick twisted need they had for humans. The aliens never showed me or any other human any compassion. In fact they revelled in our torment and the control they exercised over us.

I just don't think I could handle seeing her again. I've been having a hard enough time supressing these memories without having to relive them by speaking to her. And I doubt that her seeing someone who escaped the misery, whilst she suffered is going to make her feel better anyway.

And I honestly don't think there's anything I could do. 18 years of trauma and torture would cause anyone to lose their minds and feel like dying. If it wasn't for the REDS, then I honestly believe that I would have taken my own life all those years ago.

But would her death only put even more on my conscience than what's already there?

I found myself relieved at my current isolation. There was no one around to see me with my guard dropped. The pressure of the mission and the grim reality of the protheans extinction were beginning to dawn on him and take their toll. If Saren isn't stopped then literally every living thing in the galaxy is in danger, and I'm the person who's meant to save everyone.

Huh, it shows that the universe has a sense of humour. Who would have thought that it's the hopes of the galaxy rest on the Butcher of Torfan and a rescued slave?

Joker has just informed me that the Normandy has docked and we were cleared for exit. There were only a few people remaining for the next couple of hours to finish their last minute checks so the ship wasn't fully empty yet.

"Commander, Lt. Shepard is currently engaging with the woman from before." Joker informed.

Dammit Rylee! Couldn't you just let this go! For once in your life could you just do the selfish thing? I really shouldn't be surprised, since she's not the type to just stand aside whenever someone's life is on the line.

But neither am I!

I punched the table out of frustration, the biotics caused the material to crack and the shockwave of the impact sent everything on the table to the ground. I then dug my nails into my skull, desperately trying to regain what little sanity I may have possessed in the past few days. I wish this was all a dream.

The noise caused Liara to run out of the med-bay to check in on what was happening. Upon seeing that it was just me she stood there awkwardly. She timidly pointed back toward the med-bay before rushing toward the door. However, something inside me… didn't want her to go.

"Wait, Doctor," I called.

She stopped herself just short of the door and looked at me expectantly. We stood there in silence whilst she anticipated my next move. I wasn't sure exactly what it was I wanted to say to her, but I just wanted her here with me.

This was seriously freaking me out since I wanted to kill her a few hours ago.

"Is there anything you need, Commander?"

"Commander, this situation is getting bad. The girl has the gun aimed at her skull right now," Joker warned.

"What's going on, Commander?" Liara wondered.

"A former slave wants to kill herself after 18 years of slavery. Rylee's trying to stop her… I know her."

"From-"

"Yes from… all those years ago," I interrupted.

"Are you certain that it's her?"

"Yeah, they used to brand us with their symbol and they had-" I had to take a breath to prevent myself from being sick. "They had serial numbers tattooed on our backs, in case they ever lost their merchandise, others would know where to return us."

She shuddered at my explanation. I remember how casually the batarians treated slavery, how they never saw us as anything other than stock. We weren't living things to them. We were just merchandise to be loaned out to others and returned with minimal damage. They even charged fees for sacrifices.

"That's very disturbing."

"She was younger than me and she suffered so much more. They robbed her of any chance she had of living a happy, normal life. And they never cared, they never showed a single shred of remorse."

"How come you escaped and she didn't?"

"Captain Anderson, Major Rivera and Admiral Hackett led a ground team on the compound that I was loaned to, Talitha stayed at the main base. The Alliance rescued me and 15 other slaves and took us back to earth. I had no parents with me so I ended up in an orphanage and that's where I met Jaden," I finished.

It felt weird speaking to someone who was familiar with these names.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through any of that," she pitied me. I hate pity.

"Now I'm stuck in this position. I can't just stand by and let her kill herself… but I can't go out there and help her."

"Why not? I know it's going to be hard for you to revisit your past. But if this will weigh heavy on your conscience, then I urge you to help her Commander." She encouraged.

"You don't get it do you doctor. We're not asari," I stated simply.

"What does that have to do with anything?" she inquired.

"Do you know what 18 years is to a human? Any ideas? That's a huge part of our lives. To asari it may not sound like much, but to us it's everything. 18 years gone may as well be 200 to asari or krogan," my voice grew even more unhinged and disconcerted.

"Imagine that Liara. If you'd spent the last 100 years of your life enslaved, beaten, battered, caged and tortured by these sick aliens" I argued.

I spotted the look in her eye. It was genuine fear for her well being. Especially after our encounter in her enclosure. That look in her eye should have been something I reveled in, but I couldn't. That momentary look of fear in her eye's reminded of those of Talitha when I first met her. She looked so powerless, so prone to anything that wished her harm, so helpless. There was no way that I could relish that.

I took two deep breaths in an attempt to regain what composure I had before we spoke. "She has spent more than half of her life being enslaved and abused. How can anyone, especially me… help her."

"Commander…" Liara sighed sympathetically.

"I got away and she didn't. I got out after a couple of years and I'm a mess… she suffered for nearly 2 decades. How can I of all people… tell her everything is going to be alright?"

Liara cautiously approached my position and sat beside me. She put her hand on my arm and stayed there for a few seconds. The warmth of her palm felt strange when pressed against the goose bumps that lined my forearm. I stared into her crystalline blue eyes and I could feel something oddly soothing. Her warmth began to flow through me... calming me.

"Nate, you may be the only person in the galaxy who can help her. Look at what you have achieved since you were freed. You became an Alliance Marine, you completed a notoriously tough N7 programme, you are the first and only human SPECTRE and you are fighting an enemy that is capable of wiping out an entire civilisation. Yes you may have your demons, but most of us do, that doesn't mean that you aren't an amazing individual. You are proof that she can still live her life in spite of suffering such immense trauma."

It suddenly began to dawn on me the things that I have been able to achieve whilst being a part of the Alliance for so many years. I have been on destroyed slave rings, I have rescued politicians, brought down drug smuggling rings, rescued colonies, survived impossible odds, became an N7 and I'm now a SPECTRE. And I achieved all of that with my past weighing me down and bureaucrats holding me back because I wasn't PC or my personality would rub the media the wrong way. If I can do this then she can do anything and I'll help her in any way that I can.

But I'm not fixed and I may never be fully whole. Even with all my defects I've still managed to find some semblance of normalcy thanks to Rylee, Hannah and David. Maybe I could do for her what they did for me.

I can't let her go through with this, she still has a lot to offer the galaxy and she can't do that while she's dead. However, do I really believe that I'm the one who can convince her to not pull the trigger? There's only one way to find out.

"Come on, you're coming with me," I instructed the doctor. I led her to the airlock and stepped out into the familiar Earth atmosphere. It was winter in Vancouver, thus it was really cold.

Rylee wasn't the only one outside right now. Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Kaidan, Ashley and even Joker were out here too. Maybe they were going to resupply or try to buy specific weapons and upgrades. However, it's more likely that they were curious to see what was going on.

A man in Alliance uniform's face lit up upon seeing me. "Commander, I'm Lt. Girard. Lieutenant Shepard has been talking to her for 10 minutes now but… I don't think she's getting anywhere Commander. She's taken a few steps forward, but the woman just seems to get more anxious and angry."

"Lt. clear this area of anyone who isn't on my crew. Your men and yourself included," I ordered.

"But Co-"

"SPECTRE Authority. Do it NOW!" I growled.

He was clearly angered by my orders but he had no choice but to do it. I am a senior officer and I'm a SPECTRE. "Just don't push her too hard ok. If she seems liable to pull the trigger, take a step back or even walk away," he said before walking away.

I turned to Liara and she nodded. After taking a deep breath to steady myself, I approached Rylee and tapped her on the shoulder. "Let me take it from here."

"But why?"

"Rylee, please listen to him. He knows what he is doing," Liara pleaded. The two of them exchanged looks before Rylee walked away.

"Help her Nate."

I eyed Talitha up whilst her focus was on her gun. She had grown up a lot ever since we'd last seen each other. That thought depressed me more than anything, how much she'd grown just showed how much suffering she'd experienced.

"S-Stop! What do you- What are you?"

She doesn't remember me… I guess that makes sense, I don't remember anything about my life before that. Bringing up our past right now doesn't seem like the best idea. Maybe I could get through this entire ordeal without telling her it's me.

"I'm Commander Anderson, with the Alliance. What's your name?"

"Animals don't get names. The masters put their symbol on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it."

"You're not an animal. And I don't want to hear what those bastards called you. What was the name you were born with?"

"Talitha, they called her that. Sh… she doesn't remember the rest… Leave her alone."

"What's the last thing you remember from Mindoir?"

"The smell of burning flesh and smoke. Animals screaming as the masters cage them. As they put the metal to their backs. Put the wires in their brains. She pretends to be dead. If she's dead, she can't work. But they know. She hopes they'll leave. But they put her in the pen. She didn't fight. She was already broken when they put the wires in."

It made me boil with anger that she called herself and other humans animals. I remember back when I thought the same way. The REDS taught me to be proud to be human. But the aliens always told me that humans were gutter trash and animals, barely fit to be alive.

"You were just a child. No one blames you for hiding and hoping the monsters would go away. They were bigger than you and there were more of them, if you'd fought back they would have killed you," I assured.

"She wants to believe that, she wants to believe nothing would change. She doesn't want to be there anymore. In the pen, in the cages. Lying quiet, while they do things to her," she tried to fight back the tears.

I remember that crying could be punishable by death. But the pain in her voice was evident. She's like me, we both want to stop going back to the cages, the main difference being that she's only just escaped.

"I'm going to take a step towards you now. Okay?" I warned

She jumped and shook with fear "No! She's no good. Don't want to be handled again!" she shrieked.

I raised my hands in the air to show I was harmless. "How did you get here? Did you escape?"

"She can't escape. They have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far they take your brains away."

"Animals like her come. Animals with guns. They make the masters explode" she shuddered, almost as if she pities the slavers. Did she… start to care for her captors?

"She tries to fix the masters. So they won't be mad at her. She puts all the reds and purples back in. But they don't move. The other animals take her."

She tried to heal the slavers after they were dead. I'm not entirely sure whether to be angry and deeply saddened at her naivety. Stockholm's Syndrome is a real bitch, when I was freed, I did nothing, I just thought that I would wake up in the morning and nothing would change. I only started to believe I was free when I was put in the orphanage.

"You're fear took over. You didn't want your masters to abuse you in case they woke up,"

"If the animals can see her, then this is real. But it can't be, the wires, the chains, the hitting." She muttered. She doesn't want any of it to be real, she doesn't want the abuse to have ever happened.

"This doesn't happen to her. It's another girl. A dirty girl. A stupid girl. She deserves it." she tried to convince herself that none of this had ever happened to her.

"I-It happens to her. Doesn't it? They see her, so it's real. She doesn't want it to be real"

To her, seeing the humans in front of her cements the fact that all the abuse wasn't a bad dream. She doesn't want that to be true. I get that, I always wish that everything that happened to us was a horrible nightmare that never really happened to us.

"I'm taking another step towards you. Okay?" I warned again.

"She doesn't want- Don't touch her!"

"What happened to your parents?"

"There's… she sees them. They're yelling. Run. Hide. They hit the masters. But the masters, they have lights and hoses. Daddy's… he's melting! Sh- she doesn't want to see that! Don't make her look! Don't look! Stupid, stupid!" she broke down. The parallel between our ways of dealing with this was disconcerting. Even after being free for 14 years I can't seem to shake this.

"Talitha, it's not your fault. The slavers killed your parents. You had nothing to do with it. And you're incredibly strong for surviving those 18 years."

"She's not strong, she's weak and stupid! All humans are! That's what the masters say. She sees them… mommy and daddy. Burning in white light. Melting, going to pieces…. They can't even say anything to her. They're dead Anderson. They tried to save her and the masters burned them…. Can she stop remembering now please!"

Rylee had somehow managed to get beside me with neither of us noticing. "I was on Mindoir. My father died in the raid and I lost my brother."

"I told you to leave, Liar. You get hit for lying. You get the buzz or the burning. Can't be there." She denied.

Rylee has never told me anything about the raid or her father. And this is the first time I'm even hearing of her having a brother.

"Liar! Why are you alive? Why are you… why aren't you like her? Broken, only fit to dig and carry"

"My brother… when he heard the batarians coming… he pushed me into a destroyed building where I could hide in the rubble before they spotted us both. I don't know whether he's dead or still enslaved. That building happened to be someone's home so there was food and a bed in the basement. I stayed there alone for 3 days until my mother found me."

"So you're brother saved you…. Maybe if she had one she would have…"

Shit she's thinking of even more what if's right now. If she goes to the wrong place in her mind she'll pull the trigger.

"Rylee, back up," I whispered.

In that moment where I turned to acknowledge Shepard, Talitha had the aimed gun at her head.

"Talitha, please let me take another step toward you"

"NO! No more steps. I'll put her to sleep now. No more bad dreams, no more masters or animals. No more of her."

I can't let her die. I refuse to let those sick bastards take her life. Here goes nothing. "It's Nate, Talitha. Do you remember Nate?"

Her face showed confusion before returning to her usual denial. "Nate? No that's impossible, Nate abandoned us a very long time ago. He stopped being there with us. Stoped taking punishments for me. Stopped holding me when I was scared. She hated Nate"

"It is me Talitha look," I removed my shirt and slowly turned my back to her, revealing the same brand on my back. I heard a gasp coming from my combat crew. Looks like it's not a secret anymore. Rylee's eyes grew as wide as saucers at this revelation and her hands started shaking. It's too late now.

She now had the gun aimed at my back, which caused my squad to aim their weapons at her "Everyone stand down… I can handle this."

"You left her to sleep in the cold on her own. You made the masters angry and slaughter the animals."

"They punished you for my rescue?" I breathed. I'd never given much thought to what happened to the slaves that remained at the compound. I was too focused on trying to forget what happened there, that I forgot about the slaves were still alive.

"The masters set us on fire…everyone else died but her… they made the dirty girl clean up the mess and scrub the cage."

"It's too late for her, Nate. Please let her die, she wants to stop going back there and killing herself would stop that," she begged as her finger quickly approached the trigger.

I looked at her and a tear started to form in my eye. I still feel that way every once in a while, that burning desire to end your life. When the nightmares get too intense and you can't help but go back there. The burning. Electrocuting. Cutting. Bleeding. Choking. I just wished to end it so I could stop dreaming. But I didn't because that would mean the aliens won. The REDS made me determined to prove the aliens wrong, that humans were strong and not gutter trash or weaklings.

"It's not too late Talitha. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you. I mean look at me. After I was saved, I ended up joining the Alliance and now I'm one of the top soldiers in the galaxy and I'm a SPECTRE… I did that even with all those nightmares and visions in my brain. This doesn't have to define you. You can push past it, but you can only do that if you're alive." I pleaded for her not to end it.

"She's not like you Nate. You always tried to protect and take care of her. She crumbled after you abandoned her… she missed you," she revealed.

"I'm sorry that you had to experience that, Talitha. I truly am. I wish that you escaped with me. But that's in the past, I can help you through to the future, but please I beg you...put the gun down. Then we'll help you... help you the way they helped me," I begged.

She slowly lowered the gun from her head until her hand was hanging lazily at her side. "She… I want to get better"

"Here are some pills, they'll make you fall asleep. I'll make sure they take you to a place where they'll make you better" I promised.

She took the pills "Will she have bad dreams?"

I approached her and took her into my arms. "This is powerful stuff. You won't dream about anything," I reassured. I know at this point that's what she needs to hear.

"She'd like that. It hurts when she- I remember me. But she wants to remember," she announced before falling unconscious. She fell into my embrace, so I lifted her bridal style.

When I turned, my entire combat crew tried their best not to let any emotion show. However, their eyes betrayed them. Kaidan and Tali refused to look me in the eye, whereas Wrex and Garrus appeared to be actively trying to look me in the eye. I can feel the atmosphere change from that of worry to that of pity. Fuck their pity! I can't stand that emotion especially when it's directed at me. I refuse to let this hold me hostage any more. I'll power through and I will become the leader that they deserve. Then I'll shove their pity down their throats.

"Tell Lt. Girard that she's asleep." I said whilst walking out of the docking bay, but not before exchanging looks with Rylee. All I saw was more of that damned pity.


	12. Again, thanks Liara

**Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Presidium, Apollo Café**

I sat at the table with a cup of coffee holding my omni-tool, trying to look as busy as possible so no one would bother me. I was only on the presidium because people know how much I hate this place, and I'm hoping that this is the last place on earth anyone would try to find me at.

I personally ensured that Talitha was in the best psych facility the Alliance had to offer, I made a promise to her that I'd talk to her at least once a month to see how she's doing. I wasn't going to let her go through this alone.

After that I visited the REDS. Jaden was away on business so I spent a lot of time catching up with Tyrell and Aldis. Tyrell was up to the usual gang shit, but Aldis was a legitimate businessman now and he had a small security firm on the Citadel. It was in charge of security for multiple small shops, all the security guards were the REDS in their early 20s that he wanted to keep off of the streets. He kept them straight for the most part, I just want to see how long that lasts.

My visit also highlighted just how much the REDS have changed since I joined the Alliance. In my day, the REDS didn't like aliens but not to the degree of the new blood now. Jaden, Tyrell, Aldis, Tony and the OG's didn't even care about aliens so long as they stayed out of their way; but the new blood was sickened by the fact that I was working with Turians, Asari, Krogan and Quarians. They've expanded from earth, with the help of some anonymous pro-human benefactor that they refuse to tell me about because of my ties to the Council. From what Aldis told me, they're bad news, worse than the Blue Suns. I just hope that Jaden knows what he's doing.

As for my crew, after we had resupplied the ship and made sure we had every requisition order come through I let them have their shore leave. I had to avoid Rylee even though she wanted me to talk to Hannah. I made myself as scarce as possible to everyone, even after I got back aboard so we could head to the Citadel. I only spoke to those who weren't present during the encounter with Talitha.

I couldn't handle the thought of people knowing what happened to me, so I just don't let myself get around them. To their credit, none of them tried to find me to talk about it and they respected my privacy. Rylee was probably going to be completely different.

I've also been chasing leads to see what Saren has been up to. I convinced Admiral Hackett to lead a series of attacks in the Veil. I'm hoping to overextend the geth's reach so they have fewer forces to lend Saren. With luck it'll slow him down long enough for the Council to get the information I need to find the Conduit.

"Did you really think you could hide from me forever?" I heard a woman ask.

"Not forever, just long enough to…" I was stumped for a snarky comment so I just sighed. "What do you want Shepard?" I responded, I looked up from my omni-tool and saw that she had brought Liara and Kaidan with her.

"We've been worried about you Nate."

"I'm not talking about slavery Rylee. I'm not ready for that, not with you."

"That's fair" she responded, much to my surprise. "But I do think you need to at least speak to the others."

"I've thought about it, but every time I'm about to… I just..."

"I get it, you didn't want anyone finding out, but just know that I'm always here for you," she assured, whilst putting her hand over mine.

I grunted in acknowledgement before waving for her to go away.

"I have some business to take care of with Kaidan at the hospital anyway, bye Nate," she chirped before kissing me on the cheek.

Whereas Kaidan and Rylee left, Liara stayed behind and actually took a seat in front of me. She sat with her feet facing one another, elbow on the table, palms on her cheeks and eyes looking at me expectantly.

"Is something wrong, Liara?"

"I'm hungry and we are in a café."

"Rylee put you up to this didn't she?"

"No."

I smirked at the asari, it feels right having her here with me. She has a calming effect on me "Fine, order and put it on my tab."

She ordered some weird asari food, before looking toward the 'road'. Multiple shuttles and cars flew buy and she smiled. She looked so peaceful right now. It only just dawned on me that she was hunting her own mother.

I never met my parents so I can't really relate to what she's feeling right now. Maybe talking about it would make her feel better. Telling her about Talitha was sort of… stress relieving, if it wasn't for Liara I probably would have waited for her to kill herself, and I'm ashamed of that.

"Thank you, Liara."

She met my eyes and furrowed her brow. "What for, Commander?"

"Convincing me to go and speak to Talitha, I owe you my piece of mind and my gratitude."

"No thanks are needed Commander," she replied with a smile. One of the waitresses set a tray with glasses full of water. Liara picked one up and began drinking from it.

"I realised something during my time alone and with the REDS," I declared, getting her full attention. "Talking about this whole mess with you. It's been cathartic. I feel better than I did before, especially the way you handled it. I'm not ready to tell the story to others, but I'm willing to talk to you."

"Oh-"

"You already know most of it anyway, so it's easier to talk to you about it…"

"No-no I understand. I was just caught by surprise. I never expected you to ask, but I would be more than happy to assist in any way that I can Commander,"

"I'm not going to start right now… It'll happen in either of our quarters. I don't want this happening anywhere where someone can overhear."

"If that's what you want Anderson," she shrugged. The food had just arrived and she continued drinking her water.

I wasn't entirely sure what this feeling was, but I wanted to tease her. "You know that a man buying a woman food is a precursor to sex for humans."

She began coughing her water out and beating her chest. Liara's cheeks grew bluer, whilst at the same time her eyes got bigger and bigger. "I've read about that… but- I thought… I-I um… Commander…"

"It's a sacred custom that's upheld by all human adults... did you think it excluded aliens."

"Um..."

"Why do you think men are always coming up to women and offering to by them drinks?"

"I never thought... is there any other way of repaying the debt... I could pay for the food," she quasi-pleaded.

I opted to give her a quizzical look to see what she would say. "I have never err..." she remained silent for the another minute and I realised she was stumped.

The longer she spent trying to think of a response, the greater my need to laugh. She just looks so... I can't even think of the proper word to describe it... maybe sweet.

"Relax Liara, I'm just messing with you," I chuckled. I could tell that doing this was going to be fun from now on. "But please, feel free to pay for your food."

"Oh- you were joking? Of course how could I be so dense? You must think I am a complete and utter fool. Now you know why I prefer to be out in the field with data books and computers. I always end up saying something embarrassing around other people," she explained.

"That wasn't too embarrassing Liara."

"Just for your joke, you can go ahead and pick up the cheque,"

"You'd better not bankrupt me Liara. If you do then how will I pay Joker back,"

"You will find a way I'm sure. But that's not my problem, what is my problem is my sudden appetite," she teased.

I groaned and let my head gently hit the table.

We remained in a comfortable silence eating our lunch, the Normandy was still docked but we were going to leave soon and head for the Hades Gamma cluster. Hackett messaged me about an assignment he needed done in the Hades Gamma cluster. It needed to be done fairly soon too so I had to leave within the next hour.

Before I left I wanted to ask Liara one more question.

"What do you think of my leadership Liara? I've been asking the crew, and the general consensus is that I've been a passable leader thus far. I just want to know where I stand with everyone."

"Remember when we were on Feros Commander. When you instructed the crew to remove the Normandy's resources to help Zhu's Hope. I remember that when we arrived they didn't have any hope and they had all resigned themselves to death. Fai Dan wasn't much of a leader and he didn't seem to connect with everyone. However, after you spoke to each colonist and slowly restored Zhu's Hope, they all started to believe that you could save them, and that gave them the strength to keep fighting."

"Nice story but does it have a point," I urged impatiently

A small vein popped out of her forehead but she continued none the less. "What I'm saying Anderson if you could get the people of Zhu's Hope to have faith in you then you can convince the rest of the crew to believe in you as well. From my understanding the only times you've fought alongside this crew was in Chora's Den, Therum, Feros and Luna. It's going to take more than that to get everyone on your side; I believe that as long as you keep proving you can get the job done, then the more faith we'll have in you."

I took a moment to take everything she said in. It was true that the crew hadn't been together for very long. And that it was going to take more than 4 missions to gain everyone's trust. As well as the fact avoiding everyone wasn't going to make things better. David never showed the crew any sign of weakness, that helped build the legend that he was invincible.

"Again, thanks Liara."

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

I headed towards the engineering deck so I could do my daily work out in the Cargo Bay. Wrex and Ashley were eating in the mess, which probably meant that there was only one person in the Cargo Bay.

"Hey Commander," the ships Turian greeted.

"Hey Garrus, I was just gonna start my workout."

I set my equipment down by the ground and started stretching. I noticed that Garrus wasn't really doing anything right now. I guess he's finally finished calibrating the MAKO.

"You wanna spar Vakarian. Should be better than staring at the walls," I suggested. "Don't worry, I won't use my biotics."

"Fine by me Commander. Just don't be too upset when I beat you," he smirked.

"A little too early for trash talk don't you think Garrus. Besides, I could never lose to someone like you," I taunted.

"You mean a Turian?" he answered sarcastically.

"No… I meant a cop… wait a minute Garrus, has the crew been racist toward you?"

"You mean besides from you," he answered, but I didn't let him see that it fazed me. "Not directly, but you start to pick up on things when you spend enough time with the people."

He threw the first punch, which I managed to block and return one of my own that connected with his abdomen. It sent him back a little and left his chest wide open, which allowed me to boot him in the torso, thus pushing him against the wall.

"Humans and Turians have a history Garrus. A lot of the people here lost people in the First Contact War. You're probably the first Turian they've ever been in actual contact with," I attempted to defend my crew.

Garrus again made the first move with another punch to my face. I easily blocked it but I failed to see his knee that he rammed into my sternum.

I fell to the floor gasping for air. His Turian skin made that a lot more painful than it should have been. If I could use my biotics, I would sweep his legs but unfortunately I can't use them right now.

In sporting fashion, he allowed me back to my feet. This time I went on the offensive and kicked Garrus' calf. His bony exterior worked to his advantage this time, since that blow did more damage to me than him.

He took advantage of this momentary lapse in movement and he connected with a kick of his own on my calf. It caused me to fall to my knee.

"I get that you're trying to stand by your crew Commander. But there's something you seem to be forgetting. I'm your crew too!" Garrus declared.

He looked me dead in the eye when he said that. He said it with great conviction and passion, the kind of intensity I had when I was on Elysium with Rylee.

Everyone of this ship was on board for the same reason. To stop Saren from destroying the galaxy and or to get revenge for Eden Prime. But then there was Garrus.

He was probably the most committed to this mission, even more so than me on some occasions. He was doing this for the Turian people. He was truly ashamed of Saren and he wanted to do his part to make things right. He showed more dedication than most and for that he is just as much a part of the crew as anyone on this ship.

"Yeah you are Garrus," I wheezed, whilst getting back to my feet. "You've proven that over and over and it should never be in doubt that you're a part of this crew. I'll make sure the crew knows this," I promised.

We continued sparring for another five minutes, with neither of us getting any distinct control. Garrus' reach was far better than mine but I was more agile, so we fought to a draw.

"Why did you join C-Sec, Garrus?"

"Hmm, that's a good question. There were several reasons I guess."

"Like what?"

"Probably the same as most officers. I wanted to fight injustice, to help people. My father probably had something to do with it too. He was C-Sec, one of the best. I grew up hearing about his accomplishments, or seeing his picture on the vids after a big arrest. He's taking my resignation pretty hard."

"But you think he'd be impressed that you were going after Saren?"

"My father is a C-Sec man to the bone. Do things right or don't do them at all he says. He thinks I'm too rash, too impatient. He's worried I'll become like Saren. He actually talked me out of becoming a SPECTRE when I was younger for the same reasons."

"You' were asked to be a SPECTRE"

"Well I was asked to be a SPECTRE candidate. Me and about 1000 other Turian military recruits. I could have received special training, but my father didn't like it. He despises the SPECTRE's. He hates the idea of someone having unlimited power, with no accountability. He wouldn't like you Commander. No offense."

"I've never gotten along with police anyway. All that honour and regulations crap means shit in a gang war. REDS taught me that the hard way."

"Exactly, Saren isn't going to play by our rules. If you want to nail Saren, you need to send someone who isn't held back by policy and procedure"

"You're right about that. But I'd be careful saying that around Rylee. She's more idealistic than me and she has more morals too. She'll challenge you and I'll bet you every credit in my account she wins," I chuckled.

"She's very spirited isn't she, and so is Ashley. Are all human women like that Commander?" he inquired.

"I don't think so. But I haven't met one who wasn't like that," I answered.


	13. This is for Zay

**Location: Hades Gamma, Plutus System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

Hackett told me that I was going to the Hades Gamma cluster in the Plutus system, but he still hasn't told me exactly what I was doing here and that irked me considerably. I hated being blind or not knowing what was going on, because it's a lot easier to fall into a trap that way.

On our way there I spoke to the combat crew. Thankfully none of them asked about what had happened on earth and they kept our conversations strictly professional. Rylee told me about her visit with Hannah and about how she was upset that I couldn't see her.

I was currently in the gym with Ashley lifting weights and using the treadmill, before we both got tired and sat on the bench. She reached into her bag and pulled out a drink, before handing it to me. "It's Armistice Day, I figured we could have a drink to- you know commemorate the occasion"

"The First Contact War was 26 years ago, seems kind of odd to celebrate that,"

"In my family it's more of an obligation…" she stated. Why would her family be obligated to celebrate Armistice Day? Her face mirrored my confusion before she slapped her forehead and groaned.

"Don't tell me you don't know about my family… my Commanders always find out, it's not in my files or something"

"There's almost nothing in your files. Technical scores and a list of crap assignments," I replied.

"There's a reason for the crap assignments… I'm General Williams' granddaughter, the only human ever to surrender to an alien race."

She then proceeded to explain her grandfather's actions and defend his decision. He had no choice but to surrender; with the Turians killing civilians, his men starving and inability to contact Alliance Command. He was basically neutered after that and ended up a construction worker. I just have to hope that they don't do that to David, well at least he's got Hackett on his side.

"I don't really know how I can help with that situation."

"Look at who I am Anderson. Do you ever hear me ask for help? It's not that bad things don't happen to me. If you stay around long enough, maybe I'll tell you about some of them. But I deal with them myself. I don't need a shoulder to cry on, a knight to rescue me or a man to help me. This is who I am. I like her and you'd better like her too," she smiled somewhat flirtatiously while punching my arm.

"Luckily for you I actually do."

"I know; I am pretty great."

"Now you're pushing it," I smiled.

"I should be careful not to end up on your bad side."

"Being my friend is healthy, you've seen what happens to my enemies."

"If your enemies show up to kill you, don't cry Commander, I'll be here to save you."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 **Location: Hades Gamma, Plutus System, Nonuel**

Hackett informed us that there was a criminal leader of some random merc group which controlled raider activity in the Verge. He requested me specifically to negotiate a ceasefire with him. I flat out laughed at the thought of me arranging a ceasefire. I'm more of a shoot your problem until its dead kind of guy as opposed to talking it through. I even suggested that Rylee do this task but the Admiral was adamant that it was me; he even said that Rylee had to come along too. Why would they need the two of us specifically? And why us instead of an Alliance negotiator?

I opted to take Kaidan, Rylee and Liara with me. They were probably the most likely not shoot this asshole if he steps out of line. The weird thing is that I still don't have a name for this guy, all I have is a list of the of sick shit he's done and a personality model. All of which made me want to kill him.

We reached his compound with minimal fuss. His defences were deactivated but there was still an armed guard at the door. This many men were going to cause a problem if we are going to leave here guns blazing. That and they had the advantage of knowing the layout of the facility and they could reactivate defences to stop us from leaving.

"Joker, this is Anderson. We might have a problem here."

"Already? Damn, it normally takes at least a half hour before everything goes to shit and people start shooting you," Joker quipped.

I chose to ignore the comment and continue. "Once we're inside the compound, we're completely at this assholes mercy. Tell Garrus, Wrex, Ashley and Tali to hop in the other Mako and shadow us ASAP. If I give the signal I want them ready to attack."

"Aye, aye Commander."

"What's taking so long? Get out!" One of guards ordered.

"We're still waiting for instructions from Alliance Command. We got thrown at this last minute," Rylee explained. It wasn't entirely a lie, I've only been aware of this for about a day now.

We waited for a few minutes before I received the signal from the other Mako. "Commander, this is Garrus we're in position."

"When I give the signal you attack, if we go dark for 30 standard minutes then attack anyway."

"Copy that Commander, good luck"

With that taken care we were able to enter the compound with an armed guard. And even at the door to the main room there were two armed guardsmen with some pretty expensive firepower. I'm also assuming that most of these men and women are highly trained, and not all of them by the Alliance judging from how they hold their rifles. Some were Turian trained, whilst others were asari trained, which probably meant they were biotics.

Since I've entered this compound I've counted 10 guards armed to the teeth, and that's excluding this main room and outside. On the exterior there were 13 guards plus the missile defences.

Upon entering the room I could see 9 more guards, but those were the ones I could see.

A bald, Asian man appeared at the top of the platform above with a soul patch. He looked very familiar. The longer I looked at him the more and more he reminded me of Darius. But it couldn't be that dickhead. He was never smart enough to get himself this kind of set up.

"Are you the guy in charge here?" Rylee asked

"I hoped the Alliance would take this meeting seriously, but instead they send me a woman. Were you supposed to use your, assets to win concessions from me?" he mocked derisively. So he was a sexist asshole to add to a pirate.

"According to your file you're some kind of war hero from the Blitz, I guess they'll hand medals to just about anyone nowadays," he mocked.

I saw Rylee's hand jerk for a second, almost reaching for her pistol. I may not be the one who shoots this guy.

"I don't believe my background is relevant here Mr…" Rylee trailed off.

He smirked arrogantly. "Actually given my rank I'd prefer that you call me Lord Darius" he announced.

No freaking way is this him. This smug opportunistic bastard used to be one of the Triads before striking out on his own. I never thought that he would get to where he is now, I'd be impressed if he weren't such an insufferable twat.

"You can't be serious?" Rylee asked in genuine confusion.

"You dare disrespect the ruler of this system!" he bellowed. His voice was grating against my ears and his shear presence makes me want to reach for my pistol.

"My apologies…" she took a deep breath and swallowed the disdain in her throat. "Lord Darius," she gritted through her teeth.

"I accept your apology Lieutenant Shepard. Is there any reason you brought such well-armed guests to my manor?"

"You didn't honestly expect us to waltz in here to a pirate's den without any protection did you?" Liara asked. I saw this as innocent curiosity on her behalfm with regards to humans, but Darius saw this as a challenge to his authority.

"How dare you, you Asari trash. We are not pirates! We are the inhabitants of this system, not common thugs!" Darius seethed.

"I thought-"

"What you thought is irrelevant… stupid bitch," Darius spat.

It is getting much harder for me to bite my tongue. The more he talks down to my crew the more difficult it becomes to keep my temper in check. My biotics were threatening to flare. I was tempted to give Garrus the signal right now and fix the Alliance's problem my way.

"Please calm down Lord Darius, she only meant to say it was a precaution," Kaidan defended.

"So do you always negotiate peace treaties with firearms huh soldier? Maybe you should take a cue from your friend in the black there, shut your mouth and speak when spoken to welp!"

Do not reach for your pistol Nate… try and let Rylee handle this peacefully, because if I takeover then a firefight is going to ensue.

"Men would you please relieve these soldiers of their weapons immediately. There will be no need for them during negotiations," Darius ordered.

That's it! I've bitten my tongue long enough.

"Darius you smug, pathetic, bottom feeding, opportunistic, parasitic, shitbrained, dickheaded, wretched bastard. If you think for one second I'm relinquishing my fire arm, then you really are as stupid as I remember" I shouted.

From the corner of my eye I could see Rylee fighting the smile threatening to don her lips.

"You can't talk to me like that!" he bellowed. My visor picked up infra-red signatures resembling red dot sight. The IR showed that snipers had their scopes trained on my stomach and head.

I took my helmet so he could see who I was. I'm not sure if he'll recognise me, last time I saw him was 10 years ago and I had a high top, fade with curly hair, and it was sun dyed.

He squinted his eyes before smirking at the realisation that it was me. "Nate… I remember you, you were Jaden's pet thing."

"And you were Chang's little errand bitch, all grown up and in hot water with the Alliance. Do you want a medal?" I mocked.

Darius was visibly fuming at the development.

"What's the meaning of this Shepard? Is the Alliance actually serious about these negotiations? Because if they were, they wouldn't be sending a woman and a runaway slave who got his unit killed on Akuze and Torfan"

"Keep trying my patience Darius and you'll see what happens," I threatened, before putting my helmet back on.

"YOU'RE ALLIANCE OWES ME NATE! YOU SEE THIS GUN. THIS IS YOUR GUN! YOU'RE MILITARY SET ME UP HERE AND NOW IT WANTS TO ACT LIKE IT DOESN'T KNOW ME!" Darius snapped. "But I know the truth. The Alliance needed me here. SO TREAT ME WITH THE RESPECT I DESERVE!"

Rylee put her hand in front of me. Her expression told me to calm down, but she didn't know what Darius is like. "You said we set you up, did the Alliance give you weapons?" Rylee inquired.

"After the Batarians were driven out of the verge, the Alliance wanted to stabilize the region. I had the strongest syndicate in the area. They gave me the weapons and money I needed to take over. SO DO NOT PRETEND THAT WE ARE SO DIFFERENT SOLDIER. I DESERVE YOUR ALLIANCE'S GRATITUDE, NOT THESE ATTACKS" he shouted.

"Does he have to be so loud?" Liara commented.

Being near this bastard was making my blood boil. But I need to remember, this is a negotiation not a blood fest.

"What's it going to take to make these raids stop?" I asked

"This wasn't some criminal raid. This was a legal military action to address Alliance trespasses. Alliance miners were illegally extraction Element Zero from an asteroid in my territory. Punitive attacks were the only appropriate response. And I demand an apology from the Alliance" he demanded.

Rylee took a deep breath before saying. "On behalf of the Alliance, I extend my sincerest apologies. We didn't realise you'd claimed that asteroid."

"I'm pleased that the Alliance is willing to admit its responsibility for this situation. Now that clear boundaries have been established, I believe we can find a solution that benefits both sides. The miners are welcome to mine Element Zero on **my** asteroid, in exchange for certain considerations."

"We're willing to discuss that. What kind of considerations did you have in mind?" Rylee asked.

"The miners will pay a reasonable fee for the right to extract and export Element Zero from my territory. In addition, they will give us a monthly quantity of Element Zero, as well as refining equipment to produce red sand."

It was at that moment that I knew these negotiations had just gone to shit. There was no way Rylee, Kaidan or Liara would ever agree with that, and if we encourage this idiot by giving into his command he'll get bolder as time passes.

I knew something was suspicious about this entire set up for a little bit now, but now this confirms it. Hackett set me up. This was never a negotiation to begin with, we're just here for show to make it look like we tried our best to avoid bloodshed. Stupid backroom politics.

"Garrus, move in." I said into my comm.

"You've got to be kidding me. Do you really think the Alliance would allow you to make red sand?" Kaidan fumed.

"You're Alliance has allowed me to do far worse, Soldier," Darius smirked.

"Liara, Rylee, Kaidan get ready," I whispered. To which they all nodded.

"You are the most pathetic, power hungry fool I've ever met in my life. Are you so pitiful that you had to come to the most remote pocket of the galaxy to find people weak enough for you to play king. Is this little setup your crowning achievement in life, because if it is then I feel sorry for you because your life has amounted to nothing," Alenko ranted.

They couldn't see it underneath my helmet but I was wearing the biggest grin. Kaidan's showing some damn balls! Rylee could no longer supress her smile and Liara too was surprised by Kaidans rhetoric.

"Stop the raids, get off the asteroid and I'll kill you quickly," I threatened.

"THAT'S IT!"

I knew he was going to order my execution that second so I dropped my smoke pellets. I then projected my omni-blade and I turned to jam it into the guards neck.

Thanks to this SPECTRE gear I had equipped them with; their armour emits a unique wavelength which can be detected by our visors. That meant that in situations like this I can always tell who's on my squad.

I reached for my shotgun and went to work. I teamed up with Rylee whereas Kaidan paired up with Liara. I dropped another smoke pellet to keep them distracted.

Rylee's sniper rifle was making them drop like flies. "God I love this SPECTRE gear," she praised before switching to her assault rifle.

They started pumping rounds into the smoke to try and force us out and it worked. We hid behind one of the computer stations whereas Kaidan and Liara hid in the blind spot near the staircase.

"What are you idiots waiting for. FLUSH THEM OUT!" Darius bellowed.

"Liara, lay out a singularity at the stairway entrance," Rylee instructed. That was smart, create a chokepoint and restrict their numbers significantly.

When they opened the door each of the mercenaries were floating in the air, waiting for death to come.

"Grenade!" Liara shouted as the grenade was launched at Rylee and I. Instead of panicking, I kept my cool and caught the grenade in mid-air biotically and threw it at the guards suspended by the singularity.

The guards in the room before this one were active so they needed to be taken care of. I took out my shotgun and began to mentally prepare myself for my assault in the room which the grenade came from. I threw a flashbang into the room and charged through. The hostiles were disoriented which made my job a lot easier.

The loud bang of my shotgun blast rang through the room, as did the thuds of heavy armoured hostiles flying into the wall. However, I couldn't get to every hostile before the flashbang wore off. Two of them started spraying bullets.

They managed to drop my shields to 48% before I found adequate cover. If they had half a brain then they'd flank me and finish me off. I need to go on the offensive right now.

I popped out of cover and lashed one of the mercenaries and threw him into the other. While they were down I ran up to them and killed them both with one shot.

Ok of the 21 confirmed guards I've seen in the building interior, I've killed 6, and my squads killed 13. But with the gunfire I could hear from the main room, I'm certain that I was wrong about my initial estimate.

"Hey ingrates! Why are you still outside? GET IN HERE AND HELP!" Darius commanded.

I immediately trained my assault rifle at the door and waited for the next wave to show up.

"I'm sorry but they're going to have a little trouble hearing you… there's a hole where their heads used to be," Garrus bragged whilst entering the compound.

Wrex, Tali and Ashley followed closely behind the Turian marksman. "Good job, Vakarian. Now let's go and kill Lord Darius."

We entered the room to find that most of the guard were dead and now Darius had dispensed his security MECH's to protect him.

"Tali, if you wouldn't mind," I offered.

"It would be my pleasure Anderson," she obliged. She fiddled with her omni-tool and one of her drones was dispatched. Within seconds of its arrival just about every MECH was malfunctioning.

"Hey Nate, I have a question for ya. How's Isaiah doing?" Darius mocked.

That snide remark made something inside me snap. The fact that he had the nerve to mention Zay's name like there weren't any consequences really pissed me off.

"Wrex, Ash, Tali you're all with me. I am going to gut him alive," I said. My morality and my conscience had become completely detached and this was now the only outcome that would satisfy me.

Darius thought that he was smart, lining his stairs with C4 which could explode when he wished. He didn't account for us having Tali. Within seconds the bombs had been deactivated and we were free to venture up the stairs.

Two of the guards were using the wall as cover and they prepared to flank us, but Tali's recon drone already tagged them. Ashley and I charged up the stairs together and shotgun whipped each of them, knocking them to the ground.

Wrex and Tali finished them off and it was now Darius and us face to face. Upon raising his weapon, Rylee shot it out of his hand. Darius looked at her in horror, since her sniper was still trained on him.

The former Triad began backing away slowly, and my approach quickened. He turned around and ran to the door on the opposite of the path. I trapped him in my pull field and placed him right in front of me.

"Please… Nate you're better than this…"

"Ssshhhh" I hushed. "Who's out of his depth now? Who's in over their head now huh?"

"That was 10 years ago Nate… you can't possibly hold a grudge over that."

I smirked at Darius "This is for Zay you son of a bitch," I cursed before shooting him in the head.

After I shot him I just felt numb. I wasn't feeling anything, not satisfaction, not anger or hurt. I just felt empty. Looking at his mangled head didn't help either, in fact it made me want to throw up. To be completely honest, I thought avenging a 10-year grudge would feel a lot better than this.

"Grab whatever's useful and head to the Normandy. Rylee, the two of us need to have a chat with Admiral Hackett," I informed.

 **Location: Hades Gamma, Plutus System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

I headed straight for the Comm room with Rylee, without even bothering to remove our weapons or armour. Hackett needed to answer my questions.

His voice rang through the speakers. "Commander, have you finished your assignment?"

"I don't like being used Hackett," I warned.

"What are you talking about…"

"Drop the crap Admiral, you used me and you know it. At least give me enough respect to say it to my face,"

Hackett was visibly shocked by my outburst. "Fine, yes we knew about your connection to Darius."

"Would someone please catch me up here," Rylee demanded.

"Simple. The Alliance needed Darius dead, he was becoming a problem and he needed to be removed. I'm guessing that only a few people are even aware of his existence. Which is probably why they reached out to us, they couldn't sanction this through the proper channels." I guessed. Hackett's stern expression was the proof I needed.

Rylee's facial expression showed that she was putting the pieces together. "They knew he'd piss you off so you'd kill him. That and your SPECTRE status means they can disavow you with no consequences."

"Sometimes extreme measures must be taken to ensure humanity's safety. Or did you think you were the only one willing to break the rules to get the job done?"

"I don't care about the killing Hackett; I would have gladly done it if you pointed me in his direction. What I care about is that you didn't tell me exactly what I was dealing with there. If the Alliance wants me to keep helping out, then I need to know everything about whatever mission you send me on. Otherwise you can forget about it. I'm not putting my crew in danger simply because you don't think mission critical information is need to know,"

Hackett nodded at me, which could literally mean anything. "Your assistance on the matter is much appreciated Commander, Lieutenant, Fifth Fleet out" he cut off communications with the Normandy, thus leaving me and Rylee on our own in the Comm room.

"When did you realise that you were being used?" Rylee asked.

"As soon as Darius started being difficult. Mother Theresa herself would have taken a shot at him. They just needed a SPECTRE to kill him, my history with him was just convenient."

"I know you've got quite a few questions. Meet me in my quarters in about an hour."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

In 2173, Darius was a mid-level drug supplier. He was our plug for a couple of months. But I think he started realising that we were moving a lot more than what he was giving us. We had more than one plug and we raided other small time drug dealers to get our collection up.

Darius broke into our trap house and cleaned us out. Vidilicet, Red Sand, Creeper, Hallex, Eximo, OE, you name it we had it. after Darius and his men cleared us out he lined us all up. Isaiah, Jaden, Me, Aldis and some other REDS all kneeled on the ground whilst Darius gloated about his superiority and how we were kids playing an adults game.

I remember telling him that these kids almost put him out of business. I got pistol whipped as a result. When I got up they had bagged all our drugs up and they were preparing to leave. Just as Darius was leaving the house he turned around and laughed. I'll never forget his exact words.

"Nate, if you decide to get brave and try to take it back," he never bothered finishing the sentence. Instead, he shot Isaiah in the head. He did it with such maniacal glee and his annoying raspy laugh he got from smoking cigarettes wasn't helping.

When I finished my story, Rylee never said a word. It usually shocks people when they find out the extent of my gang activities. Most tend to assume that I just did your run in the mill car robbery and stupid kid stuff.

"Is the situation with Isaiah the reason you joined the Alliance?"

"It's what finally pushed me over the edge. After rescuing me, David would constantly visit me and check in on how I was doing. He recommended that I join the Alliance but I never took him seriously. The gang life was so much fun, it was almost like a game to me."

"I remembered some of my earlier years as a RED. The way that they accepted me and took me in when some of the kids in orphanage didn't, it was nice. I felt like I belonged there with the parties, drug dealing, doing drugs and the excitement of running from police."

"What happened to Zay really opened my eyes to how pointless the life really was. Zay was a good kid, he hated the lifestyle but he knew it was the only way he was going to survive. He planned on joining the Alliance when he turned 18 but never got the chance. His death made me realise that I had to get out of the trap before it trapped me. So Jaden pulled some strings and got me the documentation that I needed to join the Alliance ASAP,"

"Hold on… how old are you, Nate?" Rylee inquired.

"I'm 28. To be perfectly honest I'm not even sure if Nathan is my real name. Talitha and the others would call me Nathan so I went with it."

I don't have a birth certificate or any documentation other than what Jaden gave me. So as far as I'm concerned I'm 28 turning 29 in a few months.

I know I'm over 25 that's for sure. I've been in the Alliance for 10 years now and the youngest I could have been when I enrolled was 15. And I was close to adolescence when I was rescued. So my age could be anything from 25-30.

"OK Nate. Since you've revealed so much about your past in the last few days, whether you intended to or not it's only fair that I tell you a little about mine," Shepard said.

"Rylee this isn't quid pro quo. You don't have to-"

"I want to Nate. You've been through so much in your life and after hearing it I completely understand why you don't like talking about yourself. But if you're willing to share those memories then I should be able to tell you about my brother."

She took a deep breath to steady herself. "I had an older brother a long time ago, back when I was a toddler. He was so annoying and he always teased me, but he never hesitated to protect me… when I was 4 years old the Batarians raided Mindoir and they started slaughtering people. My dad took us on this cub scouts retreat there. Since my mum is a soldier, he needed to be the stay at home dad to take care of us. He was one of their first victims, they shot him when he tried to tell us to run away," she explained.

"Rylee, if you're not comfortable then-"

"I was only four so I couldn't run that quick and my brother was 8 so he couldn't run that quick either. Some of the grownups picked us up and started running but the Batarians killed them all eventually. At some point me and Nate were looking for somewhere to hide. The Batarians were closing in on us, so he pushed me into an abandoned building. Since the house what collapsed from one of the explosions they never bothered looking inside. My mum found me a few days later. I had to spend the next 10 years in therapy and that didn't help at all. Nothing will make me happy until the people responsible for taking my brother are captured."

"I'm surprised that you don't want to kill the people in charge of taking him."

"I refuse to lower myself to their level. Killing them won't bring my brother back." she proclaimed. I wish I had that sort of sense of justice. The only code I ever learned was an eye for an eye. You never let anyone take you for a bitch, always get your payback or you're just another mark.

"What was his name?"

"His name was Ethan. He would be 26 this year."

"I'll try and find the people who took your brother. He could still be out there like Talitha was," I hoped.

"Or more likely he's dead. Please don't give me hope Nate. I spent most of my childhood hoping to find him, coming to terms with his death is the only thing that's provided me any sort of closure."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I sat in Liara's room waiting for her to return from her trip to the med-bay. Dr Chakwas was still monitoring her health from when we found her. That much time without water and food can have a lasting effect on anyone.

She strolled into the room wearing a smile. She found me leaning against the wall drowsily. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Commander. Dr Chakwas assures me that I am going to be fine. I was impressed with her knowledge of Asari physiology."

"It's her job; if she wasn't good then we'd get a new one," I stated. I will only accept the best on this mission

"What is it you wanted to talk about, Anderson?"

I explained what happened with Isaiah to her and some of my more colourful drug dealing tales. She didn't show any signs of shock or appreciation, I guess she can hold a good poker face.

"You've led a very interesting life, Anderson. I must confess you are not exactly what I was expecting."

"What do you mean?"

"I assumed you were merely a thug. Especially after you let your friend go when he murdered a store clerk. That and the way you treated me made me come to loathe you," she explained.

"Loathe? That's pretty strong."

"You must remember Commander, you refused to call me by my name and only referred to my title and race. You were always dismissive with me and you sneered whenever we made eye contact. It seemed to me that you were going out of your way to make me look like a burden, even with the help that I provided," she vented. The emotion in her tone grew with every breath she took, as her voice became slightly more hitched.

"Liara I am so sorry for what I did, I know what it's like to be unwelcomed and ignored by a new set of people. I should never make anyone feel like they don't belong on this ship. You've all proven yourselves worthy to be on this mission, and you deserve to be treated as such."

"Thank you, Anderson."

"Whenever we're alone, you can call me Nate, Liara." I corrected. Considering how much I've told her about myself and how much she found out, we should be on a first name

"I just realised that I don't know much about you Liara,"

"Me? I am afraid I am not very interesting, Nate, I spend most of my time on remote digs, unearthing mundane items buried in long-forgotten Prothean ruins."

"That does sound pretty boring, but it sounds lonely too," I guessed.

"Sometimes I would run afoul of indigenous life forms, or stumble across a small band of mercenaries or privateers, but I was always careful. Until the geth followed me to Artemis Tau, I never found myself in any situation my biotics could not handle," she explained.

"You probably should have told us about that in the beginning, so we'd have fewer worries about your combat skills."

"Would you have treated me any differently?"

"Probably not, but Ash, Garrus and Wrex would've been more comfortable taking you into a firefight. But continue."

"As for the solitude, well, that is one aspect that most appealed to me. Sometimes, I just need to get away from other people."

"You don't like other people?"

"I suppose it comes from being a Matriarch's daughter. People expected me to follow in Benezia's footsteps. They wanted me to become a leader of our people. Matriarchs guide their followers into the future, they seek the truth of what is yet to come. Maybe that's why I became so interested in the secrets of the past. It sounds so foolish when I say it out loud. It sounds like I became an archaeologist simply to spite Benezia."

"She must have been annoyed by your decision."

"No, in fact she understood the path I had chosen. She claimed that all children rebel against their parents. But there was more to it than that. I felt drawn to the past. The Protheans were these wondrous mysterious figures. I wanted to know everything about them. That is why I find you so fascinating. You were marked by the beacon on Eden Prime, you were touched by working Prothean technology."

That sort of scientific curiosity sends chills down my spine. It's the same sort of fascination brings about bad memories. On the operating table, with a salarian scientist injecting me with red sand and other drugs to test human physiology. Having to go through the withdrawal whilst another person dispassionately lists the symptoms and when their done just throw me back in the cage. Then hearing about his findings on the news, knowing well and good I was the crash test dummy.

"Commander… are you alright? You've become fairly quiet."

"It's nothing Liara, just thinking about something I heard on the news… it's nothing relevant now."

"Commander… Nate you can tell me anything."

We've only known each other for just over three weeks and I've distrusted her, loathed her, tried to kill her and now she's my council. That's a lot of things to experience in such a short period of time, combined with everything I've been through the past month. I'm not entirely sure what to make of her.

On one hand I know she can help me get over my past. But on the other hand there was still a part of me that wanted her dead. My anger hasn't fully subsided yet, that voice in my head is still telling me to pounce and strangle her now, but I'm fighting it.

To further add to my confusion, I was… becoming attracted to her. She was constantly in my thoughts, invading my mind like a parasite that refuses to go away.

"Yeah… I know."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thank you to the people who reviewed, followed and favourited my story, I really appreciate it.**

 **The next few chapters are going to be side missions from the game but with twists that link with Nate or Rylee.**


	14. Under My Leadership!

I'm beginning to think that I should get a place to live on the Citadel, considering how much time I spend docked here. Fair enough most of it is dealing with the Council and undergoing my SPECTRE training. My N7 training conditioned me, but it was the SPECTRE training that was refining me. I learned how to study body language, assess a person's character from the little things like posture, muscle twitches, tones of voice, eye movement, smile etc. the list was endless. In terms of the combat and military side of the training I was sound. But the social side I was lacking.

It was really convenient that Rylee kept her apartment in the Wards. I spent quite a few nights here whenever I was too tired to return to the Normandy. Rylee stayed here for the night too, probably because she needed to sleep on a comfortable bed. I love the Alliance, but they don't make anything for comforts sake.

"Rylee, I'm headed to the café, are you coming?" I asked.

"Sure, it's not like I have anything to do here," she groaned, as she put her N7 jersey over her head.

"Late night."

"Just... stop talking...please," she moaned. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing joggers and a tank top. She had no make-up on and she also had dried drool on her cheek. She's obviously hungover.

"You're being pretty grumpy right now. Is it your time of the-" I started, but I couldn't finish my sentence before one of her seat cushions was hurtled at my head. Luckily I managed to block it.

"Finish that sentence, I dare you."

"Month..." I smirked before ducking behind the sofa. She jumped over the table and made a beeline towards me and I let her jump on me.

"Do you want to die Nathan?" she threatened. I bit back my smirk and shook my head. "Then don't test me now."

She got off of me and headed towards the kitchen.

I took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. "Let me rephrase that. Who were you drinking with last night and why do you look like Wrex has been taking target practice on your face?" I smirked before diving behind the door leading outside.

She immediately ran toward it, but couldn't open it since I locked it from the outside using my omni-tool. "Nate Shepard, get your ass in here so I can kick it!" She commanded.

I was struggling to keep myself from bursting out into laughter.

"Come in here and die like a man."

"I think I'm gonna walk around for a little bit. You know, get some fresh air while you calm down," I advised. "The lock wears off in a minute," I finished before running away from the scene.

When I reached the upper section of the wards I started walking. I walked towards the steps that lead down to the lower levels before I was stopped by someone.

"Hello there, Commander Anderson?" an old lady greeted. She wore a stunning red dress with a white stripe that covered the torso. From what I can remember from my training, her posture suggested confidence, maybe even arrogance.

"Do I know you ma'am?" I asked.

"No you don't, but I know you Commander. You've come a long way from being a common street thug with the REDS to where you are today," she commended.

"Who are you?" I wondered. Most people who stop me in the street want an interview or a picture, whereas she's being more honest and upfront.

"Where are my manners? I'm Helena Blake, pleased to meet you," she extended her hand stiffly.

I examined her hand briefly. She kept her nails short, her hands were covered in callouses and the way she extended her hand all pointed to a military background, or experience with combat.

I shook her hand, before she guided us to a table. Again, her posture displayed confidence, as though she were in complete control over the situation.

"Your name sounds familiar."

"You may have heard of me back from your days running in the muck on earth. You and your REDS caused quite a ruckus when you were hitting our arms dealers back on Earth."

"You'd openly admit to dealing arms on the Citadel, not very smart on your part,"

"That was 10 years ago. The statute of limitations of arms dealing on Earth is 8 years," she smirked.

"Whatever it is you want, look elsewhere. I'm not a mercenary and I don't need your money," I waved off.

"You're mistaken SPECTRE, I'm acquainted with a pair of powerful crime bosses. They're hiding on remote worlds, and I have their coordinates. You could do the galaxy a favour,"

"You're obviously with them. Why don't I just arrest you instead?"

Her arrogance was again "Arrested for what? You and I are simply having a conversation. I have excellent legal representation. Arresting me would be a waste of your time."

She's probably right about that. She probably has people in C-Sec on her pay-roll too for added insurance.

While I was thinking about my next move, Rylee took the opportunity to join us "I've been looking for you… What's going on here Nate?" she asked.

"Pleased to meet you Miss…" Helena trailed off.

"Lt. Rylee Shepard."

"I'm Helena Blake."

"Now that everyone's said their hello's it's time to say our goodbyes," I urged. I turned on my heel and began to walk into the crowd of people walking downstairs.

"They sell slaves!" she announced, which made me stop dead in my tracks.

I doubled back and stood in front of her expecting her to say more. "If you're associated with them and they're slavers, how the hell am I meant to believe you aren't one either?" I questioned.

"That's part of the reason we severed our business ties… is there somewhere else we can talk?" Blake wondered.

I took her to one of the C-Sec interrogation rooms after using my SPECTRE clearance to commandeer one and turn off the cameras.

"Talk now!" I demanded.

"They're red sand dealers who victims of their customers. Those who can no longer pay are sold to batarians as slaves. They're loathsome, hurting innocent people. They must be ended."

She then took out her Omni-tool and showed us some of their activities. Call logs, supply caches, inventory checks, raids, murders, the list was endless. But she couldn't be implicated in any single one of them. She's obviously taken anything to do with her out. She then forwarded the files to Rylee and me.

"What do you get out of this? You aren't doing this out of the kindness of your own heart," Rylee

"We share interests in certain cooperative ventures. But their business practices have forced me to terminate our relationship. Once they are dead, I will manage our organisation in a more tasteful manner."

"Do I look like a moron to you? What's to stop you from killing me once you take over?" I enquired.

She began chuckling and waving off the idea. "While I appreciate your estimation of my bravado, I have no intention of attempting to murder you. You are the first human SPECTRE, and you are doing important work for humanity. I have no interest in red sand or slavery. Anyone who does deserves to die. Our needs are aligned."

I don't think she's lying to me about her associates. She probably does need them out of the way, and they're probably slavers. But I know she isn't being completely honest about her own activities.

It could be a trap. But then why would she give me their information and proof of their crimes. I could just take it to C-Sec and have her associates arrested, then they'd snitch on her. She wants them… No she needs them dead and I'm the best candidate.

"Alright… I'll deal with the slavers. But if this is a trap, I promise you that I will hunt you down."

"Here are the coordinates. When these men are dead, I will wait for you at the third set of coordinates. But I must warn you Commander, each believe the other intends to kill him. They will be well prepared."

She stood up and left the interrogation room, thus leaving Rylee and I alone in the room.

"How does she know about your-"

"It was common knowledge on Earth that I was an escaped slave. I was too naïve to realise how that would affect people's actions towards me, so I told people."

"It looks like she's trying to use your past to manipulate you. For all we know, she could be involved in the slave trade, and her partners could be the "good guys"."

"No her associates are slavers. I read the shipping manifest. They're shipping crates of Rudo Ye Ndambarukuse to a Batarian farmer in the Viper Nebula."

"So what?"

"Rudo Ye Ndambarukuse means _Love of those who belong to mankind_. That means human labour force. Her associates are definitely slavers, and that means it's my job to kill them."

 ** _~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o_**

 **Location: Hades Gamma, Dis System, Klensal**

We managed to take the other boss out with relative ease. The Normandy's stealth drive made sure we weren't detected so we managed to catch him completely unawares. So immediately after we took him out, we headed to Klensal. I took the entire squad apart from Kaidan since I realised we needed to start rotating and he was the only one still badly hurt from the last mission.

"Listen up! We've almost reached the main base. According to Blake's intel we're going to enter a cave. This guy is equipped with MECHs, so loud up your Anti-Personnel ammo now. You got that!"

"Yes Sir!" Ashley and Rylee saluted. Garrus, Liara and Tali nodded, whereas Wrex merely stared into space.

I stopped the MAKO 500 meters away from the base, so I could avoid detectors. There weren't any anti-aircraft defences in place which probably meant that they were hidden and would only appear if the situation called for it. Going of foot was the best course of action.

My gamble paid off and we managed to enter the cave with ease. The temperature dropped significantly from -6 to -20 Degrees Celsius, which means we're all better off using cryo rounds.

"When Tali opens the door, be prepared for combat so weapons ready," I instructed before switching from my pistol to my shotgun and charged my barrier up.

The door opened and I ran to the nearest cover. Garrus and Ashley stayed by the door and immediately started spraying the room. It caught two of them unawares and killed them, whereas the rest managed to find cover.

Tali's recon drone was quickly turning into an invaluable member of the team. From the safety of this crate I was able to count the number of hostiles present. There were 10 here, including the target.

I popped out of cover and I made a beeline for the target. I was being pelted by bullets but my shields were able to handle the damage and I managed to reach him. Now the only problem was the huge armoured MECH he had just entered. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen.

I began shooting the glass, but to my chagrin it was bulletproof, even with this HMWSG. "Shit!" I cursed before he raised one of his arms. I was already running before he fired, the blast landed behind me and I was sent flying across the room. Luckily for me, my crew had taken care of the rest of his men.

I shook off the pain and I continued to run away from him. After rounding the corner I could hear my crew all ask me what was wrong, thankfully the MECH was really slow so I had enough time to find cover.

"BIG ASS FUCKING MECH!" I hollered.

Everyone took that as a queue to find their own cover. "Should've brought Kaidan, this would be a lot easier with him around," I cursed.

"What is that thing!?" Rylee shouted.

"It's trying to kill us, what it is doesn't matter," Garrus retorted, which caused Rylee to shoot him a glare.

"Commander, my recon drone just finished scanning it. That thing only has shields and armour," Tali stated.

"Which means Wrex, Liara, Ashley and I are gonna be the bait until you three can take those shields down. Then the biotics take over and destroy that armour. GO!"

Wrex and I ran across each other to try and give the Boss more than one target and confuse him. The bastard chose me again and started firing. This provided Wrex the opportunity to start shooting him without fear.

Whilst he was turning away from me to face Wrex; Garrus, Rylee and Tali all simultaneously threw an overload to short out his shields. Unfortunately, that didn't destroy his shields, it just pissed him off. He was getting ready to fire on them before Liara and Ashley both threw grenades at the MECH's back.

"Keep him off balance!" Rylee roared.

I grabbed one of the lighter crates using my biotic whip and I flung it at the MECH. It fired at the crate and blew it into pieces.

And again it was up to Liara and Ashley to attack from behind. This time the blast was bigger, most probably because they outfitted the grenade with an overload feature. However, in spite of all our attacks seemed to be doing was pissing the guy off.

"We're ready!" Garrus declared.

"Wrex let's go!" I ordered.

I ran out in front of the MECH and tried my best to be as mobile as possible. But this time I was on my own. WHERE THE FUCK IS WREX!

Wrex was nowhere to be seen and that meant I was a sitting duck. With only one moving target I was as good as dead.

Liara and Ashley tried to throw grenades to distract the MECH but it was too late and the missile had already been fired. I aimed to the roof of the cave and used my biotic tether to pull me into the air. I only just managed to avoid the rocket that seemed destined for my chest.

It was only then that I saw Wrex, who was fiddling with his assault rifle behind one of the rocks. I landed just behind him. But before I could question him he ran toward the MECH.

Whilst Rylee and Liara had its attention, Wrex leapt into the air and jammed his assault rifle into its back before running into cover. As far as I know, no one knows what he's planning and we don't know what he just did.

The MECH began to shake viciously. The Pilot was clearly panicking and from his demeanour it was safe to assume he had just lost all control of his vehicle. And the way it's shields were pulsating I would say things aren't looking good for him.

"Anderson, Whatever Wrex did it worked. The Shields are down and significant damage has been done to its armour," Tali informed.

I looked at the battle hungry Krogan with a mixture of anger and confusion. "What are we waiting for? Let's blow that thing sky high!" Rylee shouted through the comms.

Every biotic on the squad hit that thing with warp simultaneously, almost causing its arm to fall off entirely. It's rocket arm was now a mangled mess so we only have to worry about the pellets.

The MECH jumped toward Ashley and Liara, and was inches away from crushing the two of them if they didn't jump out of the way. Ashley landed behind the MECH, whereas Liara was lying on the floor with the gun aimed right at her.

Without hesitating, Liara trapped its arm in a stasis field, but judging by how much of her biotics she's used recently, that field won't last long. It managed to provide her and Williams the opportunity to look for cover elsewhere. Ashley left a grenade by the MECH before running away and detonating it.

"We need to get everyone a safe-" I began before Wrex grabbed one of the rocket launchers left on the floor to finish the MECH off.

Stupid Krogan! If he'd let me finish, then… oh shit! Liara is still in the blast radius. When the explosion occurred I immediately used my tether to grab Liara by her arm and yank her toward me just as Wrex fired. The explosion turned out to be bigger than I thought and the shockwave sent Liara flying just to the right of me.

I had to jump right to put my body in the way between her back and the pillar she was headed toward. We both slid down the pillar in a heap after the sickening sound of metal on metal rang through the cave. Liara was left unconscious by the blast.

Rylee ran up to us and asked us if we were okay. When I explained that Liara was unconscious, we immediately called Joker for an emergency pick up. I picked Liara up and carried her bridal style onto the Normandy and left her in the Med-Bay.

Dr Chakwas kicked me out of the room, saying that she needed space to do her work.

I have to find Wrex so he can explain to me just what the fuck was going through his mind. Rylee and Ashley were glaring daggers in his direction the entire ride back to the ship, whereas Garrus shook his head.

I rode the elevator down to Engineering. The trip was excruciatingly long and it left me with way too much time to get worked up over Wrex's actions. Pictures of Liara's inanimate, unconscious body in my arms flooded my mind, causing me to tense up the closer we got to Engineering.

When I arrived I saw Wrex and a small group of crewman, including Kaidan, were using the gym. "EVERYONE OUT! WREX STAY!" I ordered.

The crewman all gathered their belongings and headed to the elevator, leaving me with the big Krogan, who looked unfazed.

"That thing had a 3 second recharge time between pellets and 9 seconds rockets. I had to wait for it to fire a rocket before I could act," he answered the question I hadn't even asked yet.

"Tell me that next time and then we could have prepared for it together. You acting without informing the team is stupid and reckless. How am I meant to trust a loose cannon to watch my back!" I shouted.

"Whether or not you trust me is irrelevant, Anderson. So long as we complete the mission."

"So long as we complete the mission with minimal casualties! You damn near killed Liara with that rocket blast. If I hadn't pulled her away, then she'd be dead!" I argued.

Wrex had no good comeback for me in that situation, but instead opted to stare me down. He's looking to see if I back down from him, and there's no way in hell I'm letting that happen.

"What! No reply! No excuse for your actions! Or is it that you know that you were wrong."

I could see Wrex tensing up as I was yelling at him. He took a step forward to try and intimidate me. There's no way in hell that I'm backing down now to him. He almost got Liara killed, I can't let him think that he can run ruck shot over me on my ship!

"You're not going out in the field until I say so! CLEAR!" I ordered.

Wrex looked at me with a slither of approval, before he turned around and went to his weapons bench to continue cleaning out his guns. I'm going to take that as a yes. If he tries to defy my command, then I'll have to kick him out. Things are a lot easier if he stays than if he's gone but I can't have anyone undermine my command. If he ever pulls a stunt like that again.

 **I'll shoot him myself.**

 **Location: SSV Normandy SR-1**

 _[Rylee]_

After finishing up with the last boss, Nate ordered the pilot to head straight for Amaranthine. The journey was going to take a little over a day to complete. This was problematic considering how much tension was still in the air over the whole Nate and Wrex situation. Nate was refusing to take Wrex and I was scared to find out what would happen if Wrex tried to defy him.

"Okay, okay let's play a game…. Would you rather… fight a Krogan with a stick… or spend a day dealing with the Council and politicians," I asked.

"Tough one Shepard, but I'd rather fight the Krogan. One is gonna make me dead and the other is gonna make me wish I was dead," Garrus answered.

"I'd go for the Council… mainly because I wouldn't fight Wrex even if I had the Normandy's main cannon on my shoulder," Kaidan laughed.

"What about you Rylee, which would you choose?"

"I'd probably choose the Krogan, since I could punch 'em in the face without consequences."

"Which Councillor is the biggest asshole?" Ashley asked.

The vast majority of us all chose the Turian Councillor, including Garrus, but Ashley chose the asari one because of her condescension. We played even more games after that one just to kill time before we got to Amaranthine. I was trying to keep spirits high whilst Nate was asleep.

Another thing that worried me about Nate was how little sleep he got during the night. Ever since Liara melded with him and his memories came flooding back, he hasn't been sleeping very well. I had to sneak sleeping pills into his water just to make sure he could get enough rest sometimes.

"It's good that we can still have a laugh even after all that's going on," Kaidan said.

"Yeah, I agree. This mission has been really stressful for all of us. I can't even imagine how Skipper is handling all this pressure," Ashley added.

Garrus sat up straight before speaking. "Anderson seems to be struggling more with handling the crew than he is handling Saren. Don't get me wrong, he's improved drastically from when I stepped aboard. He's working at making the crew more accepting of having non-humans aboard and accepting us, which is admirable considering what non-humans have done to him in the past. But he can't seem to get Wrex fully into the fold."

"I wonder why you guys seem more accepting than most of the crew. Outside of the Engineering team, most of them seem to avoid me," Tali asked.

"I think it's because we've fought alongside you guys. It's easier to trust people when they've saved your life," I answered.

"Give it time. It normally takes something huge to bring everyone together. For now, we'll keep fighting your corner," Kaidan smiled.

"I personally believe that Nate is doing a good job. I can't imagine anyone doing any better than he has. He's battling his own demons. He's dealing with a Council that doesn't want him to be in the position he's in. He's fighting Saren and something that could possibly destroy an entire species. He has to deal with crap from the crew about having aliens aboard. The Alliance brass is on his ass about not reporting to them anymore. And he's also trying to balance the personalities in his combat squad." I reminded everyone exactly what Nate had gone through since this mission started.

Even when I recall it, I'm still amazed at how he's handled all of what's been thrown at him. When you actually think about it, only a small amount of the crap that's thrown on him seeps through the cracks. But that little amount is still enough to draw unfair criticism.

"I'm not sure if we can stop Saren. But I honestly think that Anderson is our best shot at getting the job done." Garrus declared.

It was a sentiment that was shared by the majority of the room. It wasn't perfect but at least they respect him as a leader. That's all we can really expect at this point.

 **Location: Horsehead Nebula, Fortuna System, Amaranthine**

I took Rylee and Garrus down to the compound. Helena Blake insisted that we show up unarmed and celebrate the deaths of slavers. She can't be stupid enough to think I'll show up unarmed, so I doubt she'd mind if I show up in full body armour. I'll just carry a sidearm to be on the safe side. I also instructed Ashley, Kaidan and Tali were on standby in case we needed them.

When I arrived I was directed towards a secluded room, her guards prevented Rylee and Garrus from entering the room since they showed up armed to the teeth. The room was fairly small and private, kind of like the interrogation room I took her to on the Citadel.

"My squad stays. If they have to leave, then they are taking your heads with them." I threatened.

Blake walked out of the interrogation room clad in her own body armour. "Hello again, Commander Anderson. Please come on in. You're people can stay out there. It's only the two of us in this room." she offered. I took her up on her offer and sat down.

"I'm not sure whether or not I should be surprised or offended that you showed up with full body armour,"

"I'm definitely not surprised that your men are armed to the teeth and you're also armoured up," I smirked.

"That is because neither of us are fools. I see you've done this sort of thing before."

"More times than I would have liked. Now enough with the pleasantries, the job is done."

"I owe you a debt of gratitude. With my former partners dead, this syndicate is now mine. I could not have done it without you."

"Those men deserved to die. Now, are we going to have a problem?"

"Not if I can help it, Commander. I hope you can see that I am, by far, a lesser evil than those men. Under my leadership, this organisation will restrict itself to gambling and smuggling illegal technologies. There will be no drugs and no slave trading for the batarians. Those days are over."

I smirked at the cocky older woman. She was right about one thing, she is the lesser of two evils. But this organisation will not become more ethical under just because she promises. If you want something done right, you do it yourself.

"Those days are over, that's very true. And a new era has begun. Under **My Leadership!** " I stated. I stood up and opened my visor so she could see my smirk.

Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Interesting proposal for you to make when you're in _my compound._ "

"Now I know that this might be a bit much for you to get to grips with in such a short period of time so I'm going to take things very slowly."

When I said that you could hear a grenade exploding in the other room. Then the gunfire parade began. This room was fairly soundproof so it didn't affect the current conversation.

"Right now my people are out there neutralising your men. Believe me they don't stand a chance in hell. We've had far tougher opposition than some random mercs who weren't good enough to last in the Alliance," as I said that the sound of a body crashing into the one way mirror rang through the room.

"I don't trust you to lead this organisation, you're too calculating and I'm almost certain you'll cross a line at some point in the near future. No, no I can't allow you to stay unchecked. That will just create more hassle for me later. I need to have you under control now while you can still be useful to me," it was at that moment that the gunfire stopped.

"You see Ms Blake. I find that I'm in need of agents of my own. I need to find Saren and I'm certain if I have to rely on more than just the Council if I'm going to take that son of a bitch down. That's where your... well my Syndicate comes into play. You are going to divert every expendible resource into finding Saren Arterius and anything he's involved in."

Garrus, Ashley, Kaidan, Tali and Rylee all walked into the room, armed to the teeth and looking tired.

"The only thing left to know is whether you can be the public figure head I need," I offered my left hand to her.

"Or I keep looking," I said in a menacing manner, whilst aiming my gun at her chest with my right hand. "The choice is yours."

Needless to say, she took my offer and I managed to gain my own Syndicate.


	15. Where do I begin?

"Incoming message from Admiral Hackett. Patching it through."

"Joker, put it through to the Comm room."

I entered the comm room and a projection of Admiral Hackett appeared on the screen.

"I've received some information I thought you'd like to see, Commander. Someone is killing former Alliance scientists. There have been four deaths in the past month

"Sounds like a hush job to me. Tie up any loose ends to prevent what they were working on from getting out," I dismissed.

"Well we found a connection between the scientists… and you."

I cocked an eyebrow at the suggestion I had any real connection with Alliance scientists. "Go on."

"They all worked on a classified project several years ago, on Akuze."

"Akuze… I lost my whole unit there. You're saying that our scientists were involved?" I seethed. "Could it be a coincidence?"

"Those thresher maws killed dozens of soldiers."

"50 soldiers were killed by three Thresher Maws!" I corrected heatedly.

"In any case, if this was more than just an accident, we need to know," Hackett stated.

"I can't get any information on what they were working on. The project records were sealed and someone in the Alliance is preventing Shepard, Anderson and I from accessing them."

I folded my arms and leaned back "What's the angle Hackett? After last time you honestly can't just expect me to trust you. What do you really want?" I questioned.

His eyes softened and he let out a nearly inaudible sigh. "Commander… Nate. What you do is up to you. I just thought you wanted to know. There was one other scientist on the project, Dr Wayne. I'm transmitting his last known coordinates. Good luck, Fifth Fleet out!"

My first instinct was to tell Joker to head straight toward the coordinates Hackett had just forwarded. I had the feeling that Hackett wasn't bullshitting me with this one, since there was no way he was going to cross me twice. I don't think he'd risk losing my support over this and I definitely don't think he'd use what happened on Akuze to manipulate me. If he did… let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I rode the elevator down to Engineering for my daily workout after completing my check up on everyone in the CIC and the crew deck. Garrus was currently asleep so it just left Rylee and Wrex in the cargo bay.

Whilst I was on the pull up bar I noticed that Rylee was approaching the krogan warlord. To be honest I don't ever recall the two of them having a conversation outside of being groundside.

"What do you want, Shepard?"

"Why did you become a mercenary?"

"Lots of reasons," Wrex answered dismissively.

"Such as?"

"Such as… I needed to get out of our system. I needed to eat. I needed to survive"

"Why not stay and help your people?"

"I tried to help. That's why I had to leave."

"I was betrayed. I was head of a small tribe. We were trying to restore order after the war, but the other tribes were against us. They followed Jarrod, one of the few warlords who survived the war with the Turians. But he was old, and so were his ideas. He wanted to continue the war. He wanted us to fight: Turians, salarians, each other. It didn't matter who as long as we were fighting," he stated.

This time I decided to stop working out and listen to what Wrex was saying. "What did you want?" Rylee asked.

"I just wanted Jarrod to shut up. To stop his ranting, I wanted him to stop leading the tribes astray. But he couldn't understand how much things had changed. We didn't have the numbers to go to war. Even if we did, the genophage made sure we couldn't replenish our numbers fast enough. I told them all to forget about war. We needed to focus on breeding. At least for one generation. And for a while, we were getting through. Some of the tribes started coming around."

"I'm willing to guess that Jarrod was unhappy about that"

"No. He didn't. He arranged a crush with the tribes. A meeting on neutral ground. He wanted to talk. We met at the Hollows, near the graves of our ancestors. The skulls of our dead laid bare to remind us where we come from, and where we all go. It's as sacred as any Krogan place can be. Violence is forbidden."

"Sounds like a trap to me. You must have suspected as much," Rylee commented.

"I did. But when your father invites you to a Crush… well, there are some laws even we hold sacred."

"Jarrod was your father?"

"He was. Until that day. We talked. But we didn't get anywhere. When it was clear I wouldn't join him, he gave the signal. His men leapt from the graves of our ancestors like Krogan undead! The few that were loyal to me died quickly. I escaped with my life. but not before I sank my dagger deep into my father's chest. That… is why I left. And that's why I'll never go back."

"You must have family other than your father. Don't you miss them?"

"You trying to make me cry, Shepard?" He growled. I gave him a stern look, one which he gladly returned. If I'm not careful things could end up getting with me and Wrex. And I'm certain between the two of us we could create a hole in the hull.

"No, but family is important to me and if I can help you out with yours I'll be happy."

"I've got some unfinished business with my family. But that's all."

"What kind of business?" Rylee inquired. She's clearly not going to give this up.

Wrex sighed "Before I left, I made an oath to my father's father. I swore to recover my family's battle armour. It was taken from him after the uprising," he explained.

"That was almost 1300 years ago Wrex, that anything that old is useless nowadays," I interjected.

"It's a relic; useless, really. But it was worn by five generations of my family before the war. It's rightfully mine. Originally it was taken by Turian military. We weren't allowed armour or weapons after the war. Now, it's in the hands of Tonn Actus. A Turian scum who collects relics from the war. He's made millions selling Krogan artefacts that were stolen from my people. He's got several bases where he stores his goods. All fortified and guarded. I just don't know which base has my family's armour."

"Just tell me where to start looking," Rylee offered.

Wrex looked at her as if she'd grown another head. He was probably wondering why any human would be interested in helping a Krogan in a personal matter. "I'll upload the data to your nav system. But, Shepard, I want to be there when you find him."

"See you later," she waved goodbye and headed upstairs with me in tow.

"Is there any particular reason we're helping with this," I asked.

"You saw how Wrex acted in that cave on the last mission. He's disconnected from the squad and he doesn't care about us the same way we do about the rest. We need to show him that he's just as big a part of the team as the rest of us."

"Come one Rylee. Look at Wrex, do you really think he cares whether or not he feels connected to the team?" I stated.

"No, but it's your job to make him feel connected. That's what a good leader does. You've improved a lot and people are starting to believe in you but you're not there yet," she explained.

 **Location: Kepler Verge, Newton System, Ontarum**

We had just finished clearing the biggest room in this complex. This was a reminder to me of just how badly things could go if I didn't have someone like Kaidan on my time. His combination of biotics and tech attacks were proving to be invaluable to the team and he was really kicking ass today.

There was still no sign of the Doctor which was indicating to me that he was being held up somewhere. If this is a clean-up job, then they wouldn't leave this many people behind. There was only one room in this entire complex we hadn't searched yet and we were preparing to enter.

Upon hearing a shrill scream, we charged in to the room and immediately took aim at the gunman.

"Stay back! I've got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!"

"Please! He's a madman!"

"Mr Toombs, you're insane! You need help!"

"Shut up! You don't get to lie. You don't…" he looked at me as though we had met somewhere before. "Anderson… Nate. My god, Nate is that you?"

Toombs… that's… there's just no way that this is… but he was on Akuze.

He removed his helmet to show me his face. He had aged significantly over the past number of years. He was bald now, and his head was covered in scars, most of which look old. He didn't have those when I last saw him.

"Toombs? But you were on Akuze! I saw the Thresher Maw pull you under! I – I didn't see anybody after Rivera pushed me. If I knew you were alive I would have come back for you I swear."

A million things were running through my mind. This is a lot to take in, particularly when I'm in a high octane situation. Come on Nate… stay calm.

"They took me, Nate. The scientists."

"You can't prove any of this. This man is delusional!"

"See, they were running tests on the Thresher Maws. They let those things hit us just to watch and study. I woke up in a holding cell. The scientists were delighted I'd survived. Now they had someone to run tests on."

I looked at him regretfully, knowing what he must feel like now. "What did they do to you, Toombs?" I asked grimly.

"You can't believe Toombs! He doesn't have any proof! I demand a fair trial!"

"He was there, you bastard! He knows the truth! They're part of some organisation, I don't know what they're called but they report to someone called TIM, that runs tests like this. They treated me like a lab animal."

"Please Mr Toombs…"

This time I fired a shot just over the scientist's head. "Speak out again and the next one goes in your skull," I threatened. It's obvious to me that Toombs is telling the truth and that the scientist is crooked. Innocent men don't react to a gun being pointed at them by demanding a fair trial.

"This man deserves to die, Nate. For you, for me, for Rivera, for everyone else in the unit. Are you with me?"

"What are you talking about Rivera is still alive!" Dr Wayne shouted.

"I know that! He only woke up a few days ago. But you bastards took away 8 years of his life!" Toombs snarled.

"What the fuck is going on here!? First off what do you mean Rivera is still alive?" I demanded. There was too much new information flooding my mind at once and I can't quite process it all at this moment.

"Unlike the rest of the unit, me and Rivera got pulled underground and we managed to survive for a few days. That was when what we thought was a rescue ship arrived bearing Alliance colours. But it turned out to be these bastards canvasing the area for survivors. When they found us they immediately took us to one of their research stations. After a few months of tests Rivera tried to fight his way out but ended up getting knocked into a coma by one of the guard's grenades. He was out for the next 8 years."

"Where is he now?"

"He's in my ship, under guard. He wanted me to stop hunting these bastards down… He doesn't understand Nate but you should. Help me make this right," he pleaded

"Toombs… if you kill him now then you're a criminal and we get nothing," I reasoned.

I noticed the look of relief on the scientist's face accompanied by a sly smirk.

"There's no way this bastard lives past today!" he declared.

"Toombs, I'm a SPECTRE now. I can interrogate him myself by whatever means I deem fit and no one has to know about it. We can find out more about TIM and put a stop to them. But none of that can happen if you kill him now."

"YOU DON'T GET IT SHEPARD! You got out with a few scratches and a scary reputation. I'm the one they tortured!"

"And if I can find out more about TIM then I can stop this from happening to anyone else again. If you shoot him now then we have nothing, and other scientists can do this again. You're better than them Toombs," I reassured. I was desperate for him to let this one go. I need to find out more about TIM so I can put a stop to this.

He raised his gun at the scientist, before aiming it at me. Rylee and Garrus took aim at Toombs. I knew what that meant and so did he, but I wasn't going to allow that to happen. Just because he wants to die it doesn't mean I'll do it for him.

"If you want to die Toombs, it won't be me or my people who do it. Show them that you're stronger than that!" I shouted.

He tensed his arm and his finger moved to the trigger, but I motioned for Rylee and Garrus not to fire. I looked him in the eyes and saw he had lost his resolve. That fire that was in his eyes had started to wane.

This is my chance. I advanced on my former crewmate, with every step I took his gun began to tremble; more and more uncontrollably until we were face to face.

I looked into his eyes and saw the vacant, lost look in them. He was clearly haunted by his ordeal and he was getting little sleep because of it. Revenge was consuming him and I'm almost certain he'll be suicidal after he's done.

Toombs put the gun down and broke down on the floor. His pain and suffering may be over, but the recovery from it is only just beginning. I don't know if I can help Toombs get his life back to what it was before Akuze, but I'll be damned if I don't try.

 **Location: SSV Normandy SR-1, Med-Bay**

Admiral Hackett's Fifth Fleet arrived at the scene 10 minutes after my call. I'm guessing he knew how I would act. Luckily for me, I managed to smuggle the Doctor onto my ship before the Fifth Fleet could take him into Alliance custody. I cleared out one of the rooms and asked Garrus and Wrex to guard it.

Toombs refused to go with the fleet in case they were TIM's men so he was placed on the Normandy, where we'll take him back to the Citadel for PTSD treatment by the galaxy's best psychologists. He had to be sedated and is currently sleeping in the Med-Bay.

"So… that's what happened," I just finished explaining my Akuze story to Kaidan, Rylee and Liara. I told them everything, from the attack to surviving in the wilderness whilst the Alliance was coming to my rescue.

"Damn Commander… I had no idea just how horrible that whole situation was," Kaidan sympathised.

"You really are a testament to what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Rylee praised.

"It's alright guys, I don't want any sympathy. I just figured I could tell you three since you're the ones I trust most on this ship."

The most stunned out of the group was Kaidan. I'm still not entirely over Liara's invasion of my mind, but it has started the healing process, so I'm not too angry at her. Rylee was probably my best friend and I could tell her anything now. Kaidan on the other hand was the crewman I liked the most. He's told me about his past and how he killed his instructor and how that changed him as a man. I respected his honesty and courage to tell me that, and he was easy to get along with.

Dr Chakwas walked into the room to clear Kaidan and Rylee out so that she could monitor Toombs and Liara. I made the order that either I or one of the aliens aboard the ship would be in the med-bay at all times until Toombs woke up. And if I wasn't there, I'd be called immediately. We need him to know straight away that he's not aboard a hostile ship when he wakes up.

"Commander, I haven't had the opportunity to thank you. According to Rylee you saved me from the blast and you even carried me to the Normandy," she recalled. Her face was a deeper shade of blue than it usually was when she mentioned it, but I thought nothing of it.

"Yeah, I couldn't let you die Liara. You're a vital part of the squad," I stated factually. Without her we couldn't decipher the other half of the beacons message when we find it.

"Thank you for saving me, Commander," she said, placing her cool, blue hand on mine.

Before I could react she planted a quick kiss on my cheek. All I could do was look at her in disbelief

"Um…. Don't mention it."

"Is Major Rivera on board the ship?" she asked hurriedly.

"Yeah he is. He's in the crew quarters right now… I think he wants to see me."

"That doesn't surprise me. You are the only one he knows aboard this ship. And he probably wants to see how are doing at the moment… Do you want to see him?"

I couldn't help but chuckled at the question. "Had you asked me that very same question yesterday, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. But now… I'm not so sure. I wouldn't know how to talk to him."

"Maybe seeing him face to face will help. He's probably feeling the same way as you are now."

"I guess I'll just bite the bullet."

I was shaking with anticipation at the thought of seeing Rivera again. How much must he have changed since I last saw him? How much have I changed since I last saw he saw me? Does he hate me? Does he know about Elysium? Does he know about Torfan? Oh god there's also the issue of his family not seeing him in such a long time.

Liara gently put her hand on my shoulder. Her touch melted my nerves and gave me the fortitude necessary to open the door and face my former CO.

Inside was a jaded, 41-year-old soldier. He looked surprisingly healthy, in far better shapes than Toombs. He stood tall but far leaner than he was when I last saw him. His clothes bore the mark of the old Alliance symbol from before '79.

" _Commander_ Anderson," he addressed, putting extra emphasis on my 'new' title.

"Major…. Rivera."

"Please don't call me Major," he snapped. That caught me off guard.

Neither of us knew what to say next. What else was there to say to each other? We were both different people when we last spoke.

With neither of us being able to break the ice, Liara took the initiative and approached Rivera with a light smile. "Hello Major Rivera, I'm Dr Liara T'Soni. It's a pleasure to meet me."

"Likewise Doctor," Manuel replied.

"Please excuse Nathan's shyness. It's not every day that this sort of thing happens,"

"I'm not surprised. I wish I could say more, but seeing how much he's changed is a reminder of how much time has passed," he stated. The solemn look on his face didn't really make me feel any more at ease.

"Nate has also saved an entire colony from a batarian invasion. It's made him an Alliance hero."

"The Alliance huh…" I could sense some bitterness in his tone when he said the Alliance. "TIM's men are in the Alliance."

"Oh… I had no idea,"

"It was them… they have people in the Alliance, they sent us to the thresher maw nest."

"I'm sorry that happened. I'm surprised that an entire organisation can infiltrate the Alliance."

"It's hard to know who to trust anymore."

Liara looked slightly uncomfortable at this latest development. "Did you know that Nathan is now a Council SPECTRE. The first ever human SPECTRE. It's made him a galactic celebrity," she said trying to shift the subject.

They both looked at me, expecting me to finally speak. But it was hard. It shouldn't be this hard dammit. Rivera is still Rivera. At the end of the day he's still a person.

A person who's lost a huge chunk of his life because someone decided to take control of his life. Him and Toombs must have gone through hell. 8 years of his life gone in what probably seems like a flash to him. In that time his family has probably… oh shit his family. He probably doesn't know that his wife remarried and has a kid. This is going to be way harder than I initially thought.

No I'm wrong. This isn't the same Rivera I knew. Nor is this the life galaxy he once knew or the life he once had. Everything's changed and there's no avoiding that. I need to break everything to him in private.

"Liara…. Can you give us some privacy? We've got a lot to catch up on."

He's going to need me. Someone who he can talk to about what he's been through. A bridge between the life he knows and the life he is now going to be forced to live. Damn this whole having someone to talk to about your problems with is becoming the theme of my life.

I sat down at my desk and sighed. This isn't going to be fun. "Where do I begin?"

* * *

 **Thank you all for the reviews, favs and follows. In particular reviewer7456 for the insightful reviews.**

 **Next up- Nassana Dantius**


	16. Who's this guy?

**Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Rylee's Apartment**

Dammit, why does the morning ever have to show up. It would be so much simpler if we never had to wake up, just staying up all the time and never needing to force ourselves awake. It doesn't make sense why it hurts this much, I didn't even drink or go out last night. I'm meant to meet Nate in an hour to talk about something important.

I grabbed a nearby shirt and put it on after sitting up on my bed, the action which caused the man I was sleeping next to stir awake. When he looked at me he smiled weakly.

"Morning, LT."

"Morning, LT," I replied before bending down to kiss him on the lips. We both smiled into the kiss.

"How did you sleep?"

"Pretty good, no nightmares this time," I grinned. "But that's only because I had a big, soft, Canadian teddy bear to help me sleep," I teased, poking his abs.

"I am not soft… but if it means putting a smile on your face I'll be whatever you want me to be."

My room's built in phone started ringing before we could get any further, causing us to groan. This had better be important otherwise I'll skin whoever's calling me alive.

"You have one new message," Avina answered.

"Lieutenant Shepard, I have a job for you. I can't say any more in an unsecured communication. If you're interested in hearing my offer, meet me on the Citadel, so we can talk in person. I'll be waiting in the diplomats lounge on the Presidium," once the asari had finished her message, the hologram disappeared.

"Who the hell was that?" Kaidan asked.

"I don't know, but from the sounds of it, it seems we have a cornered politician looking to get bailed out. But why would she ask me instead of Nathan. He is a SPECTRE after all."

"Maybe she heard about the way you helped Emily Wong and thought you'd be a better fit."

"Unlikely, it's probably something she can't risk the Council finding out so she thinks I'm the safer option."

"Want me to tag along?" Alenko offered.

"If you want," I replied non-chalantly.

He responded by kissing me on the forehead and hopping out of bed, into the shower.

Kaidan… he's so sweet, honest and caring. Do I really deserve someone like him? He's put up with the night terrors I've suffered from ever since I was little. It's always either watching my father get killed, watching those people burn or the lonely days I spent, terrified in that collapsed building.

Every once in a while, I wake up screaming, in a pool of my own sweat; convulsing and shaking on the bed like an electrocuted animal. Normally I use the sleep pod since they drug you into going to sleep, so you don't dream about anything, but Kaidan makes things so much easier. He knows about Ethan and he hasn't pitied me for it, but instead he has just treated me the same. Not like some fragile toy that gets badly damaged if you play with it.

I hope he knows how much I appreciate him.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Unknown Ward**

"Okay Rylee... Yeah… I'll meet you at the Apollo in an hour. See you later."

"I'm done with him. Have Blake deal with him, dropping him off in Alliance custody seems risky," I ordered one of the people Helena had sent me. He picked up Dr Wayne and had him discreetly removed from the building we used for the interrogation

We'd just dropped Toombs off at Huerta Memorial. He was being monitored by someone named Doctor Rahna Çalhanoğlu. We vetted every doctor in the hospital and everyone came up clean. Toombs should be safe from TIM there.

Rivera was a different story completely. After I told him about his wife and her new family he broke down. He understood that she had moved on and was glad she was no longer depressed and inconsolable following his 'death'; but it still didn't make it any easier. He made it clear that he wished to be alone at that moment so I granted him his wish. I told him that if he ever needed to talk I was available and I think he'll take me up on that offer. I had Blake assign someone to track his movements.

Unfortunately, Dr Wayne had no information to give. Whoever TIM is he has the fear of God instilled into his workers. I caused him unspeakable levels of pain and he refused to tell me anything. It was either he was resilient or he genuinely knew nothing. Either way it's better if we kill him. If he goes back to TIM, he'll probably get killed anyway.

I arrived at the café and quickly spotted Rylee, who was also with Kaidan.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"There's a situation at hand and we've been asked to fix it,"

"What situation."

"There's an asari diplomat named Nassana Dantius. She claims her sister has been kidnapped by slavers and their holding her ransom," she began.

"Problem is that she paid a ransom now the slavers want more. Since she negotiated with terrorists, she could lose her position and possibly be arrested by C-Sec," Kaidan finished.

"So she came to us to do the dirty work for her," I concluded.

"But I don't buy her story," Rylee said.

"Why?"

"Something about it just seems… fake. She was overacting, and she seemed more like she was desperately trying to get me to believe her story, than she was trying to save her sister."

"Do you think we should check it out?"

"My head is telling me that this is a trap and that we would be wasting time and resources by entertaining her little game."

"But what does your gut say?"

"It's telling me that this is something we should look in to. There's something about this whole thing that screams important," she guessed.

Should I really be basing my decisions off of Rylee's gut. Her instincts tend to be great as well as her intuition, but she's right that this could waste valuable time, time that we could be using to track down Saren.

A sound started coming from my Omni-tool and it was Helena. "What's going on Blake?"

"I just wanted to inform you that the Doctor has been dealt with. No need to worry about him anymore."

"Did you honestly call me just to tell me that?"

"No," she answered, before mumbling some insult with the word twerp in it. "As a matter of fact I have discovered something about your nemesis Saren Arterius."

That managed to catch all of our attention, but we couldn't have this conversation out in public in case someone was listening in, so we returned to my quarters aboard the Normandy.

"What did you find out?"

"We picked up some chatter about a mysterious Turian businessman called Tyrus picking up Cargo at different parts of the galaxy. He only surfaces every few months."

"How do you know that's Saren?"

"Because one of the techies cross referenced that to other sightings of Arterius and found that at 84% of the time this business man surfaces, Saren Arterius makes an appearance at a point of the Tyrus' interest. His previous transaction was organising an extraction of cargo from an ExoGeni colonisation project called Zhu's Hope."

We all looked at one another and nodded. Tyrus is Saren's alias, and no doubt he has many more considering his name is now poison.

"Find out everything you can about Tyrus and forward it to me immediately."

"I already have but it's not much. We had to pay Aria T'Loak for information pertaining to Tyrus and she gave us everything she felt was relevant."

"Relevant! She needs to give us everything she knows. Where is she? I will make her talk." Who the fuck does she think she is.

Rylee began staring at me incredulously. "You've never heard of Aria T'Loak. Considering your past, I would have thought that you'd have at least heard about her."

"I knew about most gangs and mob bosses who had ties to Earth. This Aria person probably doesn't."

"Aria T'Loak is an asari who controls the Terminus Systems. She runs a space port called Omega and believe me Commander, you don't want to aggravate her. You're SPECTRE status doesn't hold much credit in the Terminus systems and even the Council tend to stay out of Aria's way," Helena warned. Aria seems like an impressive woman.

"Back to the matter at hand, Tyrus has been ordering shipments of a planet called Sharjila in the Artemis Tau cluster. And another pick up is due within the next 75 standard hours."

"Good Work Blake. By the way I want you to give the tech who found this link a reward. They deserve it."

 **Artemis Tau, Macedon System, Sharjila**

Joker had just dropped us off on Sharjila in the Mako. I opted to let Rylee take point on this one, she's a good leader and I should give her the opportunity to showcase her skills and prove why she's my second in command. She chose to take me, Wrex, Kaidan and Liara. It was a little biotic heavy, but the squad can still work. Taking Wrex might be a risk but I'll trust her on it.

What really surprised me was the fact that she chose Wrex to be in her squad. Wrex wasn't the easiest person in the world to get along with or even get in line. Maybe she has more faith in her ability to command him than I do.

"OK Lt. Shepard, what's our next move." I inquired.

"This world is remote, and the pressure is too high for anything hospitable to survive here. Assume all personnel encountered to be hostile," she declared.

She began to pilot the Mako in a much more controlled, smooth manner compared to what I do. There were certainly a lot of bumps along the way, but that was more to do with the fact that this thing drives like a brick, than her being a bad driver.

"Shepard, wait a minute! Sensors are picking up the heat signature of a shuttle. Looks like its parked 20m east of our current position," Kaidan explained.

"Do you think it's one of the slaver' ships?" Liara asked.

"No, if it was then there'd be more of them. And more importantly, why would they leave one of their own ships out here in isolation like this. Whoever this is I'm assuming their independent," Rylee decided.

"How can we tell who it is?"

"We don't. The mission parameters stay the same. Shoot first, ask questions later"

We rode to the base and found that it had no external defences, there weren't even guards surrounding the complex. I guess this atmosphere is just so inhospitable that they never expected anyone to actually visit this part of the planet.

"I don't like this. This is too easy," Wrex warned.

"Yeah I know… I expected a little resistance at least… Be prepared," Rylee instructed.

We entered the building without encountering any resistance whatsoever. Wrex is right, this is way too easy right now. I should expect the difficulty to get cracked to 1000 as soon as we encounter any resistance. Worst case scenario, we find that every hostile in the complex in one room.

It turns out it wasn't a room full of hostiles, but instead it was a diverging path. I decided to Kaidan and let Rylee take Wrex and Liara down the other path.

"Kaidan, I think I saw something moving over there," I said pointing at the other end of the hallway.

We headed to the last point I saw the figure. Whatever that was, it was way too fast for us to shoot with guns. It's probably going to come down to biotics, since it's that fast.

When we reached the end of the path, nothing was there. There was literally nothing there. It was a dead end and all that was there was a ventilation shaft. Unless we are dealing with a ghost this thing had to head into the air vents. We're both wearing full body armour so there's no way we're following it.

Whoever it is, they're probably the person who's ship we found outside. If they're running away from us that confirms they're not on the same side. But it doesn't say anything about whether or not they're hostile.

We kept on exploring the compound, hoping to find either Dahlia or Rylee's squad. We entered a room just in time to see an Asari throw one of the workers off the top of the balcony.

"Do you idiots realise just how much is at stake here! If we don't get this cargo over to Virmire, Saren will have our heads!" the asari bellowed.

One of her people cautiously approached her. "Dahlia please relax. Killing our men does nothing for business. Our engineers are working as fast as they can. Soon we'll have our ships up and running. We just need patients."

"Patience! Time is not something I have. We have an intruder running around the complex killing our men and disrupting business and slowing me down! If Saren brings Sovereign down here, and we have nothing to show for it, then I'm done for. That bitch Nassana had better bring me the help I demanded. Otherwise I will take her down before her pathetic career as a politician can begin." The asari seethed. She entered one of the rooms above.

"Move the cargo to the shuttle room. Kill the one who was crying this morning. We need to set an example," one of the slavers instructed.

I gripped my gun a little tighter at the callousness of his tone. He was a human and he was trading off other humans for slavery. I'll kill them all!

"Looks like Nassana lied to us. Dahlia is the slaver and she's blackmailing her sister. This is one twisted family affair."

"Rylee, come in," I radioed.

"This is Shepard."

"Change of plans. Dantius is a slaver. We're going to have to rescue the slaves in the complex,"

"What!? Why would Nassana do this?"

"Turns out Dahlia is blackmailing Nassana. Someone took out their shuttles so they have no way off world. Dahlia probably threatened to expose Nassana if she didn't help her."

"And that's when Nassana sent us to kill the 'slavers who captured her sister'… damn this is one fucked up family. Nassana probably had something to do with this before she became a politician."

"If that's true, there'll be a lot more bodies on the pile. Anderson out!"

Alenko and I moved toward the end of the corridor and made a left. There was only one door leading us out of this maze so we took it. Upon entering we were immediately outnumbered and outgunned by about 14-2. Every gun in the room was trained on us.

"Looks like we found our intruder men! Maybe now Nassana can finally have some peace of mind. You've caused us a lot of trouble over the last few weeks. Killing one of our top Lieutenants, disabling our shuttles, scrambling communications off world. You've been very busy haven't you?" he aimed the gun directly at my head.

I smirked through my visor. "I hate to break it to you, but we've only been on this planet for an hour at best. Whoever did this wasn't either of us."

Then an idea sparked in my head. "We're the help that Nassana offered. We've been having trouble trying to find our way to the shuttle room."

"How stupid do you think I am. Engineers don't come armed to the teeth like you two. I'd guess your Alliance given your bravado."

"We aren't engineer's jackass," Kaidan retorted, causing the mercenary to aim his gun at him. "We're the ride. We have a ship ready to take whatever you want off world. If the price is right of course." Kaidan lied.

"No ships have been detected by our scanners."

"The same scanners that missed the shuttle just on the outskirts of your base. If I were you I'd want my money back."

"Do you want to keep being snarky jackass then keep testing me. I'll blow your top clean off," he threatened.

"We have a stealth ship that's in orbit. Undetectable by any scanner in the galaxy," I interjected.

"And just where did you get your hands on one of those?"

"Commander Nathan Anderson, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance."

I noticed a shadow in the corner of the room. It descended down from the air vents and left something on the wall besides some of the mercs. If I'm not mistaken that's an explosive charge. Shit I can't move too suddenly otherwise this guy will shoot me to pieces. I'll have to wait until that blast goes off before I can find cover.

After a few seconds the bomb went off, killing 4 of the guards and knocking most of them over. This provided Alenko and I the opportunity to find cover so we can start firing back.

"Who the hell was that?" Kaidan asked.

"I don't know, but he just saved our asses. Another 10 seconds and he would have shot us."

"I say we take the fight to them whilst their confused and trying to regroup."

"Good idea."

We left our place of cover and began to hunt the slavers down. I shot one of them in the back as they ran away and I threw another into the ceiling breaking their neck.

Kaidan shot one of the oxygen tanks in the room and killed another three mercenaries. Which 7 left us more to deal with. He then threw a grenade towards another cluster of mercenaries hoping to beat us with brute force as opposed to strategy, but two managed to get away.

I took the HMWSG off my back and prepared for battle. This is close quarters, so shotguns are the best move forward. However, I doubt I'll be able to do my usual smash and grab tactics with only one person to bail me out if I'm in too deep.

"FLASHBANG!" Alenko roared before pushing me away from the grenade, forcing us out into the open.

He dragged a crate along the ground towards us for make shift cover. Thankfully, I didn't look at the light so all I'm really waiting for is for my ears to stop ringing.

I peered over the crate, trying to see what was going on, but was forced to duck behind cover when bullets started flying my way. "Alenko, stasis field."

I ran out into the open to draw their fire allowing Kaidan to lock her in a stasis field. Whilst she was helpless I lifted a nearby crate, raised it above her and let it fall on her head. She was a smear on the floor.

"That's enough out of you two!" the merc leader bellowed, pushing Kaidan and I to the ground. "I don't know how you managed to set the charge there, but it won't matter now."

Damn, there's only three left, we can do this but I need to buy time. I glanced up to the pile of crates and saw the shadow standing tall, ready to pounce. "You still don't realise that we're not the intruders you're looking for. Your funeral."

"You're not dying yet. We need to take a trip down to the interrogation room. You still haven't told us about what you're really here for. And if you think that dumbass engineering ex-"

He never had the opportunity to finish his sentence. The mysterious shadow jumped down from the top of the crate and never made a sound on impact. He moved as fluidly as the wind and with deadly precision. One punch to mercs throat left him unable to breath and two headshots ended the fight very quickly.

He bent down to the man with the crushed throat and snapped his neck, ending his suffering very abruptly. Then came the weird part. He just stood over the bodies with his head down and his hands together.

Kaidan and I got to our feet and approached the mystery man. He definitely wasn't human, but he was humanoid. He wore a jet black overcoat and sleek bottoms. His armour was clearly incredibly light, otherwise he wouldn't be moving the way he was. That probably meant he never expected to get into any skirmishes, he planned on getting in and out undetected.

"Who are you?" I asked. But I still received no reply. Instead he just stood over the bodies. This time I walked around to see the guys face. He was like no other alien I'd ever met before. I don't remember having any sort of interaction with his kind. They were reptilian but also like fish. His eyes were solid black with little shine and he had green scales covering the bulk of his face, with read etchings along his jawline. His build was leaner than mine, but he was much faster than me.

After a few more seconds of him presiding over the bodies he looked up to face me.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I asked you first."

He studied Alenko and I. "Your form and combat style suggests military. You're too well armed to be regular soldiers and you're clearly not with the people who run this facility… why are you here?" he asked again.

"I'm here to kill the slavers,"

"Why would the Alliance be interested in this?"

"They aren't. Commander Nate Anderson. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance."

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko."

Kaidan proceeded to tell the alien about what we were doing on the planet and about Dahlia and Nassana's twisted relationships. I could tell by his expression the gears were turning in his head. He knew more about this situation than he was letting on and he was going to tell me.

"Why are you here?" Kaidan asked.

"I came on personal business. Dahlia is one of many who have yet to pay for their actions," he said stoically. But I could tell there was a deep, raw anger inside him he was struggling to control.

"I don't care about your reasons for being here. There's obviously something going on here that you're not telling us about," I interjected.

He sighed and paced around. "My plans have been accelerated considerably and I have been forced to act now. Saren Arterius is coming to this location with his ship Sovereign. They'll arrive within the next hour at the earliest."

Saren is coming here. Why would he be interested in small fish like Dahlia Dantius? She's barely known and her operation is small scale considering this is her only outpost. There must be something unique about this facility that has him interested and I'm going to find it.

"How do you know this?" Kaidan asked.

"He told Dahlia he'd arrive at 15:30 today, yesterday. She's been supplying Saren with a slave labour force. For what I'm not sure, but to be honest I don't care. I just need to kill her."

He's probably selling the slaves to the batarians or anyone in need. The Geth are more useful than organics at most tasks. However, it doesn't make sense for him to show himself over a couple creds in the slave market. There's something he needs specifically about these slaves.

"Then why is she in such a bad mood?"

"I've disrupted her shuttles. No one had been able to leave the planet for the past two weeks; I suspect that Saren is growing impatient."

"If Saren is here then this is our opportunity. We're going to take him down once and for all," I suggested.

"No that would be unwise. He will be arriving with his warship Sovereign. According to Dahlia's reports that ship is almost indestructible. The anti-aircraft defences didn't even put a dent in it and this is top of the line. If you're going to defeat Saren, you'll need to separate him from his ship and his geth army."

"How do you know so much about Saren and his ship?" I questioned. This guy was way too knowledgeable for him not to have some serious connections.

"I paid the shadow broker for information on anything pertaining to Dahlia Dantius. Some weeks ago one of his agents gave me information about his ship Sovereign and the attack on Eden Prime."

"I need that data."

"It's on my ship. Once we've dealt with Dantius then I'll give you the information."

"But why Dahlia?" I asked.

I didn't receive any response from the man. He just stared at his bare hands, almost as if he was expecting them to catch on fire, he then tried to shake his head, as though he was trying to shake something out of his head. But there was one thing for sure. The anger and hatred that he was radiating was palpable. Whatever Dahlia did to him must have pushed him off the deep end and there was no coming back.

"She and many others took my life. And for that they must pay with theirs." He said in a cool, calm manner. This clearly contradicted the vibe he was giving off. He's been trained to be like this, very rigorously, and I think it was probably some nightmare stuff. Killers like him are one in a billion.

I looked him in his jet black eyes trying to see if they contained deception. I was going to kill Dahlia regardless of how things turned out so having an extra helping hand wasn't going to change things. What's really bothering me is the fact that Saren is so close within my reach and I'm being forced to run away.

"Fine we have a deal. But you'd better be straight with me…" I left the pause so he could fill it in with his name.

"Thane Krios," he offered his hand out for me to shake but I passed up on the offer. I don't trust this guy not to kill me yet but I know for now we have a common enemy.

To his credit he didn't seem phased by my actions. He opted instead to act as if nothing had happened. "Dahlia's office isn't too far from here. I was initially going to crawl through the vents but it appears she has drones running through them. And with the noise we caused in here there's no doubt that next room is going to be well guarded. I'm going to need help."

"I take lead though, that's non-negotiable."

"Leadership isn't my strong suit. Lead the way," he gestured.

We went back into the corridor and navigated our way through the maze of a complex. If it wasn't for Thane's map, then I know for certain we'd have been wondering around the place for hours. I sent the map to Rylee and her squad. She had already rescued the slaves and her and Liara stayed behind to guard them in case any more guards turned up.

Wrex had apparently decided on his own that he would come over to where the real fight was and came to us. This is why I would have left him on the ship. He didn't run into too much trouble finding us, much to his disappointment.

Wrex stared at our new companion and asked "Who's this guy?"

"Thane Krios."

"Hn…" Wrex grunted.

The door leading to Dahlia's main office was getting nearer and nearer. The anticipation of what they would encounter continued to grow. Odds are that the mercenaries will be divided between dealing with my squad and Rylee's so it shouldn't be as difficult as the earlier battle.

"Thane, how big is the room we're entering," I asked.

"It's fairly spacious. Immediately upon opening the door there will be two crates on either side of the door. However, there is a clear path between the other end of the hallway and the door. If she's competent she'll have people positioned there to slaughter anyone who tries to get in. there is also a potential snipers perch on the balcony above. Her office is on the upper level of the room and the only way in from our position is through the stairs. There are 7 possible cover spots, 5 of which are susceptible to flanking." Thane finished.

Kaidan and I looked at Thane in disbelief. He must be very meticulous to have studied the room to such a great extent was incredible. One of the reasons I'm successful is because I can assess a constantly changing battlefield to exploit any openings. It has never once occurred to me to plan this much for a simple room.

"Drell have eidetic memory. He probably saw this room once and used his memory to plan this all," Wrex mumbled.

Thane activated his cloak and opened the door. I threw three of the flashbangs we picked up from dead soldiers into the room and in the chaos we ran into the cover which Thane had told us about. The following fire fight went as normal. We cleaned house. Thane was the sniper so he stood back and allowed us to handle the room.

Once most of the room was cleared I noticed that Thane's sniper rounds had stopped firing. An overload damaged his cloak so I should be able to see him right now. He wouldn't bail on me now so I can only guess that he's gone after Dahlia without us.

My suspicions were confirmed when I entered the hallway that led to her office and saw the string of dead bodies that lined the floor. I sprinted towards the office and I wasn't too surprised when I saw an asari's dead body on the floor and Thane nowhere to be seen.

Upon closer inspection I saw strangulation marks around her neck. Looks like the Drell is one sadistic bastard. With Dahlia dead we didn't have any reason to remain behind, but I still needed to find Thane so he could give me the information on Sovereign, but he's already left the planet and he has stealth systems aboard his ship.

I decided we couldn't waste time looking for Thane and it would be easier just paying the broker himself, so we took the slaves and had them sleep in the cargo hold whilst we headed toward the nearest hospitable planet so they could be taken to the Citadel.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Alliance Docking Bay, SSV Normandy SR-1**

These Citadel docking procedures are beginning to grow tedious. It takes 20-30 minutes to gain clearance to take off, they don't even care that Nathan is a SPECTRE.

I was glad to be back out in the field following Wrex's reckless behaviour almost killed me. He still hasn't apologised to me yet, but I shouldn't expect one from him anytime soon. The man is clearly a brute, at some point he is going to cross another line that Nate can't tolerate and then something regrettable will happen.

Speaking of the SPECTRE. I was a little bit surprised that he didn't choose me to go with him instead of Kaidan. We've worked well together before and I thought he would select me again but he didn't. That also left me with Wrex again and after the last time it wasn't a partnership I relished to renew.

After dropping off the former slaves at Huerta Memorial where they could be looked at and checked out. Nate had Blake search for this Planet Virmire that Saren was having the slaves sent to. Apparently the planet doesn't exist and there's no records of it ever being real. We even took it to the Council and they even said that they've never heard of it.

Could Saren completely remove a planet from every data bank the galaxy has to offer?

If that's correct then I wonder what else, he could be hiding?

"Hello… are you with me Liara?" Nate asked. He had just entered the room.

I snapped out of my trance and focused on him. "I'm sorry, I was just lost in my own thoughts."

"What were you thinking about?"

"The gravity of the situation we are in. We missed Sovereign by about 10 minutes and we were relieved. We are going to have to face it somehow, I suggest devoting some of your newfound organisations resources to discovering a way to destroy Sovereign."

He looked at me pensively for a moment before saying, "I never did ask for your thoughts about me acquiring my own personal cartel did I?"

"No you did not."

"Well I'm asking you now."

I took a deep breath and thought about how I should answer this. "I think it's necessary. You are hunting down a dangerous fugitive and you are acquiring whatever resources you need to bring him down."

"How about your opinion as a person and not as a logician," he pressed.

"It's a very dangerous choice you've made and it's one I would have tried to dissuade you from."

"Why?"

"Because in some ways it's a form of holding you back. You said it yourself that the gang life is empty and meaningless; you also said that you were glad to have escaped it. Now here you are back where you started but on a much larger scale."

"Wow… here I thought you were a shy, little, soft-spoken, nerd. Now you're mentally dissecting me. I can see where you're coming from but I want you to see where I'm coming from. Blake and the other bosses don't give a damn about anything other than making money and living a lavish lifestyle. I on the other care more about getting things done. Once this mission is done, I want to turn this organisation into something huge. I want it to be an opportunity for people to get off of earth and see the galaxy. I want people wasting their time killing each other on earth to redirect their anger at slavers and abductors. I have so many plans for this Syndicate to become a beacon of hope and safety for everyone," he declared passionately.

By the Goddess. He wants to prevent whatever happened to him from happening to someone else. He wants to dedicate the rest of his life to this cause, so he can save anyone he possibly can. I wish I could make all of his pain go away. I couldn't imagine being haunted by all of those thoughts every day.

"I never thought of that… it's a very noble cause you've chosen to champion."

"Thank you."

It's strange how I can view this man as a thug in one second only to be amazed at his willingness to help people in another. His methods are unorthodox but his intentions are pure. I can see he is genuinely trying to do better with aliens. After I offered to be his confidante he didn't really use me that often. He preferred to deal with things on his own, but as of late he's been coming to me more and more often. He's managed to build bridges between Garrus and the other Alliance personnel. They are slowly growing accustomed to having a Turian in their midst, but the subtle racism is still there.

"I have a question Nathan. Why did you choose to take Kaidan with you today instead of me?"

That looked to have legitimately caught him off guard. His eyes grew to the size of saucers and his jaw dropped slightly.

"Rylee and Kaidan are sleeping together," was his response.

"What? How do you even know?"

"SPECTRE training. I told you they've been training me to read body language and mannerisms, and I've used it on _everyone._ Their behaviour towards one another has become more wooden and cold. They avoid eye contact when in public and seem to be making an effort to not be seen together aboard the ship. But whenever we're ashore they're always together, add that to the look in Kaidan's eyes whenever she walks into the room then there's only one conclusion."

"Letting them go off together when they're in a relationship is a bad idea for now, at least when I'm not around to evaluate their performance. If they're not performing as well as they used to then I'll have to intervene."

"I never…. I mean I knew that they were interested in one another but I never expected them to go so far so soon," I responded.

Do humans really find it so easy to have sex with one another, I would have thought they would have more restraint.

"It's really not that much of a surprise. It's a stressful mission and they need release. I don't really blame them to be honest. I would have thought that Rylee would have worn him down a while ago. We've been on this mission for 3 months already and they only started showing signs 2 weeks ago."

"Commander, have you and Rylee ever-"

"No, but not for her lack of trying. She pursued me when we first met 4 years ago, but I said no. I wasn't interested."

"Do you have a sexual pref-"

"I tend to avoid having sex on principle. I haven't exactly had the best experience in that field now have I."

"So you haven't been with anyone since then?"

"I have had sex since then. I'm still a man with urges, but it just isn't that appealing to me. To answer your previous question, I only deal with women. Like I said earlier the slavery…"

"Oh…"

"Liara- are you a virgin?" Now it was my turn to be caught off guard by his boldness. "Interesting, you may well be the only one aboard the ship, well except for Tali. You two should start a club."

"I never responded!" I retorted

"Oh I'm sorry, tell me I'm wrong," he challenged with that handsome smirk of his.

"You are very much…" I was about to lie but then he started doing that thing where he wriggles his eyebrows, reducing me to laughter. "No fair, you're making me lose concentration."

"You need to concentrate when you lie, wow," He goaded again.

This man is insufferable at times. He can go from being infuriatingly immoral, to being tragically heroic, back to being childishly infuriating. It makes no sense but for some reason I'm enjoying this constant change of pace. Logically I shouldn't allow myself to get too close to him but there's something about him that keeps pulling me in.

I would call it attraction but it's simply too soon, there's no way I could be attracted to someone I've only known for such a brief amount of time. But there's no other way to explain just why he seems to consume my thoughts and he seems to be the centre of my desire.

Wait a minute I just realised something.

"Commander when you said you read everyone's body language and behaviour…" I trailed off, in the hope that he could catch my meaning.

"I meant everyone."

Goddess does that mean he knows.

"Commander, Pressley said that there's been a breach in the Normandy's communications system. It looks like whoever did it only used it to leave a communication link."

"Call it!"

"Aye, aye."

"Hello Commander, I suspect you didn't expect to hear from me again," Thane greeted.

"No actually I'm not. I knew you were going to reach out to me with the information you promised me, but I thought you'd go through Blake. I am however surprised you managed to hack into our communications network."

"Apologies Commander but I wanted this information to reach you and you alone. If you look in your quarters you will find a greybox underneath your bed. It's locked onto your DNA. Inside it should be everything I have on Saren and his ship Sovereign."

"Why didn't you just hand this into me face to face. Would have saved yourself a lot of effort."

"I couldn't risk you trying to arrest me during the meeting. My mission is too close to being complete for me to stop now."

"Thank you Thane. See you around."

"You should thank my associate Keiji Okuda. He's the one who encrypted the greybox and he's also the one who set this comm link up for the two of us."

"Tell him I might have some work for him in the future."

"I will Commander. Goodbye."

* * *

 ** _I hope everyone enjoyed me adding Thane to the story. I made it so that Dahlia is one of the people responsible for Irikah's death. I also wanted to show the change in Thane's character between hunting for his wife's killers and the stoic monk he became in ME2. This chapter was also my first chance to show how useful The Syndicate can be for Nate's cause and they will be involved more in the future._**

 ** _Please tell me if there are any inconsistencies or plot holes in this story so I can fix them ASAP because now it's long enough that I can't quite keep track of it all._**

 ** _There are only a few more side mission chapters before I continue with the main story and at some point I'll introduce the OC that's going to be a main fixture in my head-cannon. Til then REVIEW!_**


	17. They don't like me now!

**Location: Kepler Verge, Herschel System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

"That was… satisfying," Garrus sighed.

"Good, remember that feeling, that's how it should be," I responded.

"I want to thank you Commander."

"What for, Garrus?"

"For everything. Taking me with you. Letting me be part of your team. I've learned a lot. I've thought a lot about what you said. About eliminating the threat immediately. Regardless of the cost. You were right. You were right about Dr Saleon, too. Killing him was the only solution. This way, we know he'll never hurt anyone again."

"Words mean nothing until you turn them into action, Garrus. What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to reapply for SPECTRE training. It will probably kill my father, but I've got to try. If that doesn't work, I'll do just about anything…. Except go back to C-Sec. I'm done with them. No more red tape. No more politics. From now on, I do things my way."

"I'm glad you see it that way. Keep that in mind when we meet Saren."

"Don't worry, Commander. I will," he said before leaving the decontamination chamber.

During the entire conversation I could feel a pair of eyes burning a hole through the back of my skull and I knew she was just dying to tear into me.

"Before you even say it. I know you don't like how I'm handling Garrus," I predicted.

Rylee had been in the chamber with us and bit her tongue during the exchange. Our personalities and beliefs tend to clash. She believes in law and order; I believe in an eye for an eye. I believe in retribution; she believes that justice should be handled by the justice system. I want to kill people who are a danger to those around the galaxy, whereas she wants them prosecuted and sent to jail. In some cases, sending them to prison is the best option, but a bullet can work just as well.

"You are making a mistake by letting him believe he can solve every problem with a gun."

"Not just guns, an Omni-blade works just as well, or grenades."

"I'm being serious Nate. In case you haven't noticed you are actually starting to exert some serious influence on this crew now."

"I'd hope so, I am their commanding officer,"

She made a fist and took a deep breath in an effort to curb her frustration. "You don't get it."

"Then explain it to me."

"Everyone is changing Nate and it's because of you. Liara is coming out of her shell, the crew is starting to embrace Tali, Kaidan isn't being so damn reserved, Joker isn't being so damn anti-social and he's actually interacting with the rest of the crew now."

"Hey, I wasn't anti-social. I was just busy being the most awesome pilot the galaxy's ever seen," Joker interjected.

"Whatever you say Jeff," I hollered.

"Pressley is starting to trust Garrus, Tali is speaking to people outside of engineering, Garrus is starting to crack jokes. But you are also turning him into a vigilante."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that this crew is starting to share your beliefs and if you're not careful, you could end up turning them into a gang of vigilantes who believe they know what the law should be and every other interpretation that doesn't align with theirs is wrong. Believe me Nate that could turn out to be a horrible idea."

I didn't respond to her but merely gestured her to follow me to my quarters.

"What you call vigilantism, I call doing whatever it takes. Do you know that there was a 40% chance the Dr Saleon could have walked away from this whole ordeal? It wouldn't be the first time he got away with it and I couldn't risk it happening again."

"If that was your call alone then I wouldn't be this pissed off. But you're encouraging Garrus to think along the same lines as you. Garrus is only 26 Nate. Believe it or not you are his role model. Someone who can dispense justice as you see fit, without regulation or red tape."

"Yeah and I'm using my status to save the galaxy from dangerous criminals like Dr Saleon, Darius, Dahlia Dantius, those crime bosses and Saren."

"You've also used it to free one of your gang buddies and start your own mob. And you know the biggest difference between Dr Saleon and everyone else on that list. They never gave you the option to capture them, they all shot at you first and you had no choice. Dr Saleon was unarmed and not a threat to your life and you let Garrus kill him in cold blood. That changes a person Nate."

She's right. I could have taken the Doctor in and I could have personally made sure he went down and served his time like the scum he is. I could have been the righteous champion of the justice system, and shown Garrus that you can have faith in the system. But then that would be making myself something I'm not. I'm not a champion of justice, nor am I a paragon of the legal system.

I am a man on a mission to save the galaxy in the only way I know how to. That means I am going to make sure that criminals are dealt, that they never harm another soul again.

"If you felt so strongly about it then why didn't you stop him?" I asked. "There were 3 of us there and if you wanted to stop Garrus then all you had to do was speak up and try to convince him. It may have worked, or it may not but at least you would have tried. But you didn't, and instead you watched as he shot Saleon. If you ask me, then I think you wanted him dead. You knew what we knew and you agreed. Now you've got a guilty conscience and that's why you're here giving me your diatribe on justice."

As my words hit her I could see her slowly faltering as the jarring reality of the situation slowly came to light. Rylee's belief in law and order wasn't as iron clad as it had once been. And it's because of me. I'm changing her into a cynic and a more ruthless person. This mission has forced her to be a part of certain events that she normally would be completely against for the sake of the mission. She's been forced to do things my way and its wearing her down slowly. She's slowly becoming a renegade.

"How do you deal with these decisions... how do you kill a person in cold blood and live with yourself," she whispered.

"Life hasn't exactly been fair to me Rylee. When you spend years watching atrocity after atrocity. When you've seen children burned alive. When you've killed those closest to you… with your own hands then killing a complete stranger doesn't seem so unspeakable."

Her eyes didn't soften but instead widened. "When…"

"A little while before I was freed. It's not the easiest thing to talk about."

She looked to the ground, ashamed to have brought the memory back into my mind. "I'll stop bothering you."

"Dammit Rylee that's the exact attitude I don't want from you."

She looked up at me with confusion rich in her eyes. "I need you to challenge my way of thinking. I need my second in command to have a mind of her own. I don't need a yes man. I need someone who can show me that my way isn't the only way to do things. You handled Jeong perfectly on Feros, same with Emily Wong, the preaching Hanar, the consort, Wrex and the rest of the crew. That's because you have a style that works. You are the proof that my way isn't the only way. I need that otherwise I could end up believing that I have all the answers."

She looked to have regained her confidence after my speech. She smiled, nodded and exited my quarters. Rylee is a strong one, she'll be herself in no time.

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **Location:** **Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Huerta Memorial Hospital**

"I'm glad to see you're getting better Talitha."

"I'm starting to remember more of me. It still hurts but the anim- Dr Çalhanoğlu is helping,"

"Good, you deserve to have a normal life one day," I assured.

"So do you Nate. Maybe one day we'll both stop going there."

"Let's make a deal right now," I offered her my hand. "One day before we die, we will be able to dream, the slavers won't have any hold over us, and we will be happy."

To my delight she grinned at me, showing her abundance of missing teeth, and shook my hand. "Deal,"

"I'm afraid visiting hours are over Commander, time to go," Dr Çalhanoğlu interrupted.

She had already given me an extra 15 minutes and I wasn't going to try my luck with this hospital. "See you later Talitha."

"Thanks for coming Nate. I hope I see you again," she smiled.

The Doctor escorted me out of the room, wearing a warm, inviting smile on her face. As soon as we were out of the room she hugged me.

"Thank you for visiting, Commander. She looks forward to these visits a lot, you clearly have quite the influence over her."

"I just want her to get better,"

"She will with our help Commander. As long as she knows that there are people who care about her she will try to get better. Friends and family are powerful motivators, Commander,"

"Speaking of friends. I've been looking into your past, Doctor and I seem to have found a mutual friend between us. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko."

At the mention of Kaidan's name she froze, her eyes grew slightly wide and her jaw tensed slightly. I guess the fear is alive.

"Kaidan… how do you-"

"He's on my crew. I invited him to come with me but he told me that you wouldn't want that. Is that true?"

"Kaidan-" she sighed. "I want to stop being so afraid of him but I can't."

"He told me about Vyrnnus and how he killed him. It sounds like he made the right call to me."

"He was defending me. The worst part of it was that I knew that at the time but I couldn't get over it. I'd just watched him kill a man and I took my shock as disgust and said things. Horrible things that I wish I could take back."

"If you feel that way then I'll just call him down."

"I highly doubt he'd want to talk to me. Otherwise he wouldn't have said that. He would have just come with you. He's avoiding this just like me."

"Well that's changing now. The mission we're on is dangerous and you never know what might happen. I'm calling Kaidan down now so you can talk," I decided.

Kaidan accepted the invitation and said he would be arriving within the hour so that was sorted.

"This may not go exactly as you planned Commander."

"I'll keep that in mind. Do you happen to know where Corporal Toombs is, Doctor?"

"Ah, yes. The Alliance picked him up for questioning a few days ago."

"What! I said that if anyone was to try and move Toombs I should be informed immediately."

"It was okayed by Ambassador Udina, there was nothing I could do, and I was told that any communication with you regarding the matter was grounds for termination and revoking of my license."

"Shit!" I cursed.

For all I know Udina could be in TIM's pocket and he could be returning him. Or one of TIM's agents could very well intercept him during transit. What the fuck is Udina playing at.

 **Location:** **Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Human Embassy**

I immediately made a beeline towards the human embassy to see just what Udina was playing at, especially after I explained to him the situation with TIM. More importantly why didn't David tell me about this, surely he would've given me some form of warning.

"UDINA!" I shouted as I entered his office. Inside were two asari in smart dress and appeared visibly annoyed by me interruption.

"Anderson, as you can see I have guests. If you wouldn't mind, please get out," he responded diplomatically.

"No, we're talking about this now."

He then gave me a look that could make someone's blood run cold, but I was simply too angry to be affected. Udina sighed before excusing himself from the room.

"Commander, you cannot just barge into me-"

"Cut the bullshit," I interrupted. "Where is Corporal Toombs."

To his credit his expression never changed. "He's in Vancouver where he is being questioned. We never had the opportunity to question him thanks to you."

"I already gave you my report, something I did out of courtesy, which told you exactly what he told me."

"And we're supposed to take you for your word. Especially after what you did to Dr Wayne," he accused. His voice grew slightly more aggressive and he was leaning in more. He feels like he's in control.

"You failed to tell us anything about him, and now that you've killed him we'll never know now will we. You cannot expect us to give you our full trust, when you go behind our backs to cover your tracks and hinder our progress."

"The Doctor had nothing to say. All he told me was that everything he was involved with would be burnt and deleted."

"I'd rather have heard that from the Doctor's mouth," he hissed before returning to his office.

Fuck! I feel the need to go back to earth and make sure that Toombs is safe. But what would doing that accomplish? If I arrive and try to use my SPECTRE authorisation to get him out of that situation then that pretty much freezes me out of the Alliance, and it could effectively end the military careers of those aboard my crew. Knowing the Alliance, they probably expect me to show up guns blazing anyway so they probably have him in a secure location.

I'll have to make some calls and see where he's being held before I can act. For now, I'll have Blake send people to Vancouver and see if Toombs is there or not. If he is then I want him monitored until his release back into Huerta Memorial. If they won't release him then I'll take him myself.

"Commander!"

I heard someone shout and it turned out to be Liara. She was wearing a tight fitting dress that stopped just short of the ground. I would have noticed what colour it was if it wasn't for the fact she just looked so beautiful and sexy. It highlighted her curvy figure and ample cleavage tastefully. It would be difficult for any man to honestly think anything other than this could be the most beautiful woman they've ever seen in their lives.

I found myself dumbstruck and endowed by her presence, so it wasn't exactly the most opportune moment for this. The worst part is she probably doesn't even realise what she's doing to me.

"Liara what are you doing here?"

"I just had dinner with Sha'ira. She wanted to speak to me regarding Benezia and our personal family estate."

"Why?"

"Given her status as an accomplice to Saren, the asari government wants to strip her of her lands on Thessia and her holdings in certain companies such as Serrice. Sha'ira was explaining that instead of Benezia going through that, it would be much simpler to simply have me take claim of her estate and holdings."

"Are you going to do it?"

"I need some time to think this over, for now my main focus is you…" she said. She must have spotted my cocked eyebrow and immediately amended her statement.

"I meant your mission, yes that's what I meant."

She's an alien and I'm a human. Her race spent years tormenting me, using me, abusing me and even tried to sacrifice me. That sort of memory doesn't just go away. I know she wants me back, but every time I ever imagine being with her, that monster posing as Samara pops into my head, or the asari who almost killed me when I was her sex slave comes to mind.

I need to explain to her why wanting to be in a relationship with me is a terrible idea. I need to tell her now before it's too late.

"Nathan Anderson, they told me it was you but I couldn't believe it. You grew up and turned into a soldier."

I turned to the source of the voice and found a well-built human male. He stood slightly shorter than me and he was shadowed by 3 cronies. He can't honestly believe that he's going to mug me.

"Do I know you?"

He chuckled slightly at my question. "You probably don't even remember me, but we ran together in the Tenth Street REDS. You travelled a lot but I spent most of my time in Los Angeles."

That would explain why I don't remember this guy at all. REDS were based all over Earth, my crew spent most of their time moving from place to place so the Feds never caught us.

"Maybe you don't remember it yourself, running in a gang. None of the vids mention it when they're talking about you."

He spoke with such bravado and confidence, due to the fact he had back up, and that seriously pissed me off. He's also talking about the same thing that all the new blood talk about.

Anderson is too good for the set. Anderson forgot where he came from. Anderson is a snitch. Anderson isn't welcome around here no more. It's on sight when I see Anderson. Fuck Nathan Anderson. He thinks he's better than everyone just because he's a soldier. SPECTRE my ass, the second he steps here I'll pop him in his eye.

They say the same sort of thing about Aldis. Why do they always hate whenever someone gets out of the life and hasn't become a drug addict or isn't on an RIP shirt.

"My life with the REDS is public record. I've got nothing to hide."

"Really? What if someone gave an interview talking about Commander Anderson's history in the gangs?" He threatened.

"You may not know me well Finch. But those who threaten me die!"

He still had that same smirk on his face and seemed amused by my threats. Let's see how amused his is when he's staring down the barrel of my pistol.

"We're not trying to cause you trouble, Anderson. We just want a favour, for old time's sake."

"One of the REDS, Curt Weisman, got picked up by turians. We'd like you to talk to the turian guard in the bar and get Curt out."

I turned to Liara, her face remained fairly static but I could tell she was having de-ja-vu. "What was this guy arrested for."

"Some stupid minor offense. Maybe he had a little red sand. You know how turians are. They declared him a problem, and they're shipping him back for a trial."

"What the fuck was a RED doing in turian space?"

"Since your days, the REDS have expanded. We do some salvage a little shipping here and there, that kind of thing."

"I'll speak to the Turian and see what I can do."

"Thanks, Anderson. I knew you'd remember your old friends. The guard's over Chora's Den. Take care of this, and you'll never see me again," he informed whilst shaking my hand and then disappearing into the shadows.

"Commander-" Liara began but I put a hand up to silence her. Finch and his guards were still listening to us. In fact, they were just around the corner. I used the rapid transit terminal to call a car to take us to Chora's den.

Once we were inside the vehicle she let me have it. "What in the world were you thinking Nathan? Honestly, I just don't get you. One moment you look like you're changing for the better, then the next it looks like you're reverting back again."

"Liara-"

"I'm not finished!" she asserted and for the first time, I was legitimately intimidated by Liara. "That moron Finch is not telling the truth about Weisman. He knows exactly what he did, but it's too reprehensible for him to tell you himself. At least Jaden had the decency to tell you up front about what Tyrell did. And that line about you'll never see me again, you know damn well that's a lie…"

I stopped paying attention to the rest of what she was speaking about and just stared at her. She seems so different from the other asari I've had dealings with. She actually cares about others wellbeing, she wants peace and she wants people to be safe. She wants me to be a better person. Maybe that's part of the reason I've developed these feelings. She's helping me become more than just an escaped slave, turned gangbanger, turned soldier. She wants me to become a hero.

When she finished her rant I said, "Liara, I have no intention of letting Curt Weisman loose. I just said that so I could go to the turian and see what Curt actually did. I want to know just what the REDS are up to nowadays, and I wanted to buy enough time to find the ideal way to deal with Finch."

"Oh," she replied, her face suddenly turning a few darker shades of blue. I had to resist the urge to smile at the fact she went from vengeful, fear inducing asari badass, to shy nerd in a matter of seconds.

"Besides after the way you chewed me out I highly doubt I'd be dumb enough to cross you again," I chuckled.

She huffed, crossed her legs and looked away. "Good."

Now, I need to tell her now that it would be a terrible idea to get with me. Come on it's a couple of words it shouldn't be that hard to tell someone to give up on you. Just say it already.

"Liara."

"Yes Nate," she responded.

I made eye contact with her, immediately spotted the dilation of her pupils, and my purpose faltered. I want this as much as she does but… I need to think about this before doing anything rash.

"You know what, don't worry. It's nothing important."

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

"Can I help you,"

"I hear you've got a prisoner called Curt Weisman"

"Yeah, and what's it to you SPECTRE."

"I just want to know what he did to get imprisoned then I'll be on my way."

"He attempted to poison medical cargo being sent to a turian colony to treat the outbreak of a dangerous disease. If he had succeeded, millions would have died. This human is a dangerous xenophobe," he said passionately.

Holy shit. I knew the REDS had become more xenophobic but I never expected them to go this far off the deep end. When I was running with them, we never went out of our way to go and kill people unless they'd killed one of our own; and we certainly never tried to kill millions. We were just trying to survive and build up our reputation. The new blood seems more interested in being terrorists. Whoever this backer is, they're trouble.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and sighed. "Keep the bastard. The galaxy is a safer place without people like him. I won't take up anymore of your time."

Just as I had predicted, Finch had been following us and listening in on our combination. Did this idiot really think he could trail a SPECTRE without getting noticed.

"I knew you didn't have what it takes, Anderson. Everyone's right, you are just a bitch, a snitch and you've forgotten where your ties lie. If you can't be useful, you'll be publicity. When we're done telling our story, the aliens will all know what the first human SPECTRE really is."

"His bio is public record. Everyone knows he ran with gangs as a child," Liara interjected.

"They don't know that the REDS target aliens specifically. We've got backers to handle off world missions. So shut up bit-"

"If you even so much as think about finishing that sentence then I will leave a hole in your skull," I threatened. From the corner of my eye I could see Liara smiling.

My threats made Finch's men to raise their gun, but he ordered them to drop their weapons. But one still had his pistol trained on me.

" The REDS are a gang not an Earth first movement."

"They're a human movement now. You think the vids will make that distinction? I can find a dozen REDS who'll swear they saw you kill aliens for fun. Who's going to believe you then? Your alien friends won't like you much when they hear what your gang did."

I'm not sure if it was the stress of the mission I'm currently on or if what Finch said was inherently funny, but when he finished his sentence I started laughing. Rather hysterically in fact, it drew confused looks from all those involved.

"That's your big threat. You're going to make the aliens not like me," I said before laughing again.

"They don't like me now! The Council doesn't like me. The batarians hate me. The krogan aren't too fond of me and neither are the turians, volus or the salarians. If I was in this for popularity, then I would be a fool. And besides I'm a SPECTRE, they can't touch me," I finished. My laughter quickly turned to fury. How could this insignificant little twerp actually think he could use me to further his stupidity? I'm going to make an example of him.

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and reached for my gun. "You see Finch," I began before shooting the guard who was still targeting me in the head. The bullet whizzed right past Finch's ear, causing some flesh to burn.

Once the gun shots were heard people began screaming and running out of the club, including Finch's other guard. "I can do that in broad daylight and get away with it. I can do whatever I want and the Council can do one of two things. Bitch about it. Or like it. You're smear campaign won't do a thing to my credibility or my SPECTRE status. So you can fuck off out of my life. Because if you or any other RED other than Jaden approaches me, I will not hesitate to end their lives on the spot."

Needless to say he ran away with his tail between his legs.

"Looks like the first human SPECTRE won't be a disappointment after all," the Turian guard praised before walking out of the club.

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Dear Dr Çalhanoğlu

We are very sorry to hear that Huerta Memorial Hospital has recently terminated your contract. They clearly don't know talent when they see it. I represent an organisation looking for people of your skill and aptitude to work for us. I am perfectly willing to answer any questions or concerns you may have regarding the role we are offering you. If you are interested, please meet me at the location specified in the attachment.

Yours Sincerely,

Miranda Lawson.


	18. Curse those who

[ _Garrus_ ]

After the last few days that we've had, I think standing around calibrating the MAKO is a holiday. The last 4 days have been highly intensive and draining. We were sent on different errands thanks to Anderson, all of them were in within 2 days' travel of each other so he wanted to knock them all out in one go. What he didn't account for was just how much of an undertaking it would be. Every single excursion left us exhausted and some of us unable to fight for a week. Alenko and Tali won't be cleared for a week after retrieving Wrex's armour.

I think that Nate is starting to show more trust in me and he allows me to speak my mind, whereas in C-Sec we aren't given that kind of freedom. He unofficially made me his fourth in Command, behind Rylee and Kaidan. That decision rubbed a lot of Alliance personnel the wrong way. The thought of a turian leading any Alliance squad was a disconcerting thought, truth be told I would feel the same were the roles reversed. Relations between humans and turians are sour at best, it's going to take years to make them amicable.

As for Nate himself, he has fostered a strong relationship with every single member of his crew. He knows their names, their rank, their history and their personal motivations. They all feel connected to him and he managed to achieve that in only 2 months. Even though detours such as dealing with Nassana Dantius, Blake, Darius and others have wasted time, it has given the crew faith that their Commander will get things done; and that's important, because that gives them the confidence to perform to their very best.

I honestly never thought I would ever find myself following a human's example, my uncles would want to beat me to death if they ever found out. Nate is an interesting character, at first he treated me with distrust, which given his history is understandable. However, as I got to know him I realised that he's actually a fairly likeable person. He can make jokes, poor ones by my standards, but he's trying. He will always put crew ahead of everyone else and he's a damn good skyllian 5 poker player.

Anderson so far, has shown me exactly what the perks of having less red tape can do. He gets the job done no matter what, fair enough some of his decisions have been questionable like acquiring a gang, but he's used it to good effect.

 _One of the Alliance Admirals had informed Nate about someone called Major Kyle killing two of their officials. After some negotiation between both sides, Nate managed to convince the Admiral release Toombs in exchange for dealing with the Major and rescuing an Alliance chairman from a group of biotics. They were in the same system so he left in a shuttle with Kaidan and Liara for the chairman._

 _Nate opted to leave this one to Rylee, given the fact that Major Kyle has gone on record to voice how much he despises Anderson, I think that was the smart choice. Rylee again chose to take Wrex in spite of the fact he disregards orders continuously without a second thought. She also took me and Ashley._

 _I got along well with Chief Williams and she had a good battle instinct, in addition she deserves better than the rank she's been given. Even amongst the turians, old military grudges are hard to shake off._

 _We arrived on the planet, we were already picking up the heat signal of the base and headed straight there. Upon nearing the door, we were already greeted by a soldier._

 _"This is a private sanctuary. Outsiders are not welcome here."_

 _"I need to speak to Major Kyle," Rylee said._

 _"_ _Father_ _Kyle wants nothing to do with the Alliance," the follower replied, putting extra emphasis on his title._

 _"I am trying to make sure that no one else has to die."_

 _"You will not take Father Kyle from us, we need him."_

 _"Please let me talk to him, I want to minimise the bloodshed so everyone can get out of this alive."_

 _There was a slight pause before we were invited to meet the Major in person._

 _Walking through the compound made me sick. This Major Kyle had managed to get these people to worship him and hate the Alliance simply because of his own agenda. This man is suffering from PTSD but that doesn't excuse his actions. He's playing king and he's let the power go to his head and needs to be stopped._

 _We entered the compound and we were guided to the Major. Every one of his followers were armed and potentially dangerous, spouting the rhetoric that Major Kyle has been spewing. They constantly shouted that the Alliance wants to wipe them out or how he was their saviour._

 _The Major was in a secluded room and he was alone. "I am Major Kyle; I know why you have come. We have no quarrel with you. Why can't you just leave us alone?"_

 _"You killed 2 Alliance investigators, did you really think that we would just let that slide?" Ashley asked, with the disgust evident in her tone._

 _"They wanted to take me away from here! They wanted me to abandon this place. Turn my back on my family. They spoke blasphemy!"_

 _I saw the Chief tighten the grip on her firearm and I did the same. "Blasphemy! You are not God and you certainly aren't holy. Just who the hell do you think you are!?" Ashley seethed. Her religion is very important to her so this guy had better be careful before she does something he'll regret._

 _"I did what I could to make their end quick and painless. I had no other choice. It was necessary to protect my children. Only I can keep them safe."_

 _Oh crap… he actually cares about the people in this compound… they aren't meat shields, they're his 'children'. He's further gone than I initially thought._

 _"Can't you see that you're the one bringing the Alliance here. We're here to apprehend you," Ashley stated._

 _"I will never abandon my children, they need a father and I will gladly fill that role," the Major said defiantly._

 _"I can see that this is going nowhere so let's try another approach. My Commanding officer is called Nathan Anderson, ring a bell," Rylee spoke._

 _"The butcher!" he spat._

 _"Yeah him. I'm going to present you with two options. Option A you come with me peacefully and I take you into Alliance custody," she said causing the Major to scoff._

 _"Or option B, I can call Nate down from our ship and with his help we will slaughter every last one of your followers, before taking you in. Either way you're coming with us," Rylee threatened._

 _That's was a surprise. I had to be very careful not to show my surprise or else the Major might have thought she's bluffing. She wouldn't actually slaughter these people… would she?_

 _The Major appeared horrified at her threat and legitimately angry. "By the way if you have your followers kill us, Nate will still come down and slaughter everyone including you," Ashley added._

 _The Major begrudgingly chose Option A and asked for an hour to say goodbye to his followers which we granted._

 _"Good job Shepard, you dealt with that like a pro." I praised._

 _"See, talking and negotiation can be just as effective as using your guns," she replied sternly._

 _"Good thing Nate didn't come here."_

 _"Yeah it is, if Nate had shown up the entire compound would have turned hostile in a heartbeat. Every Alliance poster in the compound had Nate's face on it, and they were all vandalised. If they'd seen Nate they would have tried to kill him."_

 _"It's good you talked him down,"_

 _"Really?"_

 _"The Major was sick, he needed help not a bullet like some people," I replied. I could see the corners of her lips bend upwards, they're like asari with their facial expressions._

 _Shepard and Anderson were polar opposites, almost like Turians and Krogan. One favours law and order above all else, the other will do whatever it takes. I admire Shepard's leadership in spite of her age, it still boggles my mind that someone her age possesses that much ability, give her a few years and she'll be better than Nate and that's a guarantee._

 _"That's good to hear Garrus."_

- **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-**

[ _Liara_ ]

Doctor Chakwas had just declared me fit for combat after some exams at Nathan's request. We both suffered injuries because we shielded Wrex's grandfather's amour from a grenade blast. I felt fine but Nathan still insisted that I undergo testing. He has a weird way of being sweet and caring, in particular his overprotectiveness of me.

It's good to finally have some reprieve after the past few days, 2 missions in 4 days is incredibly hard on the body. The first mission seems like a holiday in comparison to what we've just gone through. Fair enough the biotics almost succeeded in killing us, but it still required more diplomacy.

 _To be perfectly honest I'm surprised that Nate chose himself for the diplomatic mission and Rylee for the combat mission. Then again most of this mission has required some unorthodox thinking and methods so maybe there is some merit to Nathan's decision. At least he chose me to go with him this time, along with Kaidan for added measure in case things got dicey._

 _It seems so trivial for a group of biotics to be upset with their government because their biotics are bothering them. However, that is most likely because as long as I've been alive the asari have had a good grip on biotics. Humanity has only just begun to tap into the potential that dark energy possesses and the leaps they've made are remarkable. They already have biotics as powerful as Nathan and Kaidan at their disposal, the amount of progress they could make with a few centuries of experience is frightening._

 _Upon entering the ship, we were immediately attacked by the biotic terrorists. The blast sent the group of us flying backwards towards the door. Nathan instinctively reached for his flashbangs and threw them at the door to prevent them rushing through._

 _This bought us enough time to get up and draw our weapons. "Shit I should have taken Garrus or Ash," he cursed._

 _I would have asked him what he had meant by that but the parade of gunfire interrupted me. This passage is narrow and there only way out is either towards death or our shuttle, so we chose the obvious option._

 _We retreated into the docking bay, in order to give us more manoeuvrability, before we found cover Kaidan planted an explosive charge on the door. As soon as one of the hostiles entered the shuttle bay they were blasted to bits._

 _Nathan ran into the shuttle and returned carrying an assault rifle. It was the first time I've ever seen him handle anything other than a shotgun or a pistol, but as an Alliance soldier, he would have been trained to use a large variety of weapons._

 _He didn't possess the skill or accuracy the Garrus, Wrex and Ashley possessed and he was prone to overheating the weapon fairly often but Nathan did an admirable job in helping neutralise the hostiles remaining._

 _"Note to self, when dealing with biotics, don't take a squad full of close quarter combatants," Nate sighed._

 _We continued through the ship and we didn't encounter any resistance, which probably means they are all holed up in one room._

 _My hunch proved correct, for the room we entered had a hostage and 7 armed individuals._

 _"See how it is, you write letters, and everyone ignores you. Force is the only thing people appreciate. So how about if I kill Chairman Burns and finish this charade?"_

 _"Please! I was trying to help you people!"_

 _"Are you an idiot? Killing him gets you nothing, so put the gun down," Nate sneered in disgust._

 _"Why not? What have we got to lose? Since the chairman here decided that we didn't get reparations, we've got nothing left to live for!"_

 _"But I've changed my mind! Seeing y-you all, it's c-clear that you all d-deserve…"_

 _"You had your chance! Some L2s are nearly crippled from the side effects of the implants, but you voted against reparations!"_

 _"Having nothing to lose makes people do stupid, self-destructive actions that bite them in the ass. If you kill him now you will show the whole world that all L2's are dangerous terrorists and the Alliance will double down on their decision. Keeping him hostage could do you more harm than good," Nate argued, and judging from the vein in his head he really wants to shoot the leader._

 _"But people need to hear about what the government has done, and what it's failed to do!" he argued impassionedly._

 _"Listen to me, I'm an L2 as well," Kaidan declared._

 _"If you are then why are you not standing beside us!?"_

 _"I understand how you're feeling, the fact that the Alliance denied us reparations is bullshit, but going to these lengths is inexcusable. You've done all you can for now, you've drawn attention to it, you don't need to die for it," Kaidan assured._

 _The biotic leader looked to Kaidan and appeared deep in thought. "You're right, I don't want to die. Maybe something will happen this time. We surrender."_

 _"Thank you, Commander. I thought I was dead when they took me," Chairman Burns said._

 _"You can thank us by making sure they get their reparations," Kaidan responded._

 _"I'll see to it that the reparations discussion is reopened. I didn't know they were so desperate."_

 _"Then you weren't doing your job. We're headed to the Citadel so we'll drop you off there," Nate said._

 _"What of them?"_

 _"That's my concern. Kaidan can you lead the Chairman to our shuttle, I need to speak to these people."_

 _"Aye, aye," he responded before escorting Chairman out of the room._

 _Nathan then declared he was impressed that the biotics had managed to pull this off. The Chairman's activities aren't public knowledge and his security is top of the line but they still managed to get to the chairman with no signs of a struggle. He knew that they would never work for the Alliance again after this so he offered each of them a position in his Syndicate. Every biotic in the room had gladly accepted and Nate had called Blake to send people to pick them up._

 _"Always recruiting aren't you?"_

 _"I'm serious about providing opportunity. Which reminds me, I have recently purchased a company aboard the Citadel."_

 _"Which one?"_

 _"It's the security firm Aldis owned. RED Security, they mainly recruit humans who want to leave the gang life and do something better, I figure these biotics are sort of in the same boat. The Alliance isn't the only way out. I want to buy other small businesses and build them up to give people as many options as possible."_

 _Goddess, this man never ceases to amaze me. He sees a group of men holding a politician hostage and the first thing he does as soon as the situation is diffused is offer them a job. What I initially saw as a desire to shoot the biotics was actually frustration. He saw them as misguided and he was annoyed by the way they expressed their outrage._

 _I cautiously put my hand on his shoulder, something which would normally cause him to flinch but this time he merely turned around. At first there was a slight twinge of a biotic aura coming from his arms but they quickly subsided._

 _I found myself completely immersed by the intensity in his eyes. He stared at me with such intensity and passion that I found myself unwilling and unable to break away from him. There was only one thing in his eyes at that moment in time. Hunger. The next move must be his, I can't be the one to initiate. He's had enough asari force themselves upon him as it is._

 _He was gradually closing the distance between us. Inch by inch. Millimetre by millimetre. His lips grew closer to mine, but I couldn't help but notice his furrowing brow and the pained look in his eyes, now syphoned of all passion._

 _"I can't… I'm sorry."_

 _"B-but…"_

 _"I want this," he said whilst taking hold of my hands "But I just… these images…" he tried to continue but couldn't, he couldn't even look at me anymore._

 _I could feel a hole in my chest getting larger and larger. It wasn't a rejection of sorts but, it hurts just the same. I hurt for him as well as myself. He must feel like he's hurting the both of us, but I cannot let him believe that. It's not his fault._

 _"It's alright Nathan," I tried to reassure him by touching his cheek, a sentiment that was not lessened by the armoured gloves I was wearing. "I'm going to be fine," I whispered._

 _"Thank you," he replied._

Curse those who did this to him. Curse those who deny him happiness even today. Curse the asari who have damaged this beautiful soul.

Curse those who have hurt the man I love.

- **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-**

[ _Rylee_ ]

Dear Mom

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to talk much over the last month but we've been really busy. I've been doing really good so far. I think my age is starting to affect the crew less and the older generation is starting to respect me as opposed to my rank. You were right, just get the job done and people will fall in line.

Nate's been doing a lot better lately. I think he's finally been able to get Wrex into the fold. Him and Liara nearly died saving both Wrex and the armour, which I think managed to convince Wrex that he's a part of this crew. It doesn't mean Wrex is now completely under his command but it's a definite improvement.

Captain Anderson said that you're going on shore leave aboard the Citadel in a few days. Me and Nate are going to be meeting the Council and Alliance reps on the Citadel too, we should all meet up. Please reply soon if you can come.

Love Rylee.

* * *

 **Thank you to all those who've gotten this far and who've favourited, followed or reviewed this story particularly reviewer7456.**

 **I probably won't be updating as frequently since university is taking up most of my time, but there should only be 1-2 more chapters of side missions before returning to the main story.**

 **REVIEW!**


	19. We can die at any second

Sleep is getting better but it's still not relaxing. Damn these nightmares that won't go away. This time it was my memory of fighting in an arena. I had to fight other slaves for food and sleep. If you lost, you slept outside, if you lost you could potentially get killed if the wrong person bets on you.

I lost my first fight in the arena and a slaver who bet on me tried to shoot me… one of the grown-ups took the bullet for me and died. I would have died if my… master didn't kill him first.

I forced myself out of the bed so I wouldn't risk going back to sleep and falling into the recesses of my mind. I went over to my sink and splashed my face with cold water and looked myself in the mirror. I could feel a hole in my chest that nothing could possibly fill, I grabbed my chest just trying to feel something. I gripped my chest so hard that I started to break my own skin. But the void was still there. I could feel my essence being drawn into the into the void. I need to plug this whole with something. I can't lose myself to the despair now.

"It's alright Nathan… I'm going to be fine," a warm female voice assured.

I looked back at the mirror and saw Liara standing behind me. "I'm here for you Nathan. No matter what happened to you Nathan, I'll always care about you."

I shut my eyes with all the force I could muster, and when I finally reopened them, she was gone.

Dammit I'm starting to hallucinate!

I need to get out of my room. I need to drain this tension right now. I need to get my mind off this shit. If I'm going to function properly I need to release this stress.

I pretty much ran out of my quarters to head to the gym in the cargo bay. At this point in the morning rotation, the crew is either at their stations, the mess or they're asleep. So thankfully I was alone in the gym, well I was almost alone. Wrex was there too.

"Wrex," I greeted.

"Anderson. I'm surprised to see you down here this early."

"I've got a lot of stress to work out before I meet the Council."

"Good idea. Punch the crap out of the bag rather than shoot the crap out of the Council."

"I like that you get me Wrex," I stated. I proceeded to work the punching bag. Either the bag is getting severely damaged or my punches are getting harder, because working the bag hasn't ever been this easy. I wanted to lace my punches with biotic power but decided not to, because I'd probably overdo it and send the bag into the wall.

"You've gotten much stronger Anderson, not as strong as me of course, but you have improved."

"Careful Wrex, I might actually believe you're praising me," I chuckled.

"Going from being as smart as a varren to a vorcha is a big leap, but it doesn't change the fact you're still stupid. Haha," the krogan warlord chortled.

"Come on old man, let's see what you got."

"Challenging a krogan to one on one unarmed combat. Maybe you are dumber than a wild varren," he guffawed. "There's a difference between bravery and stupidity Anderson and challenging me to a fist fight is very stupid."

"You think so?"

"You're strong I'll give you that, but at the end of the day you have limits, and I'm beyond them. If you want a reputation, then fight all those that challenge you. If you want to thrive then you need to pick your battles and know when fighting is a bad idea," he advised.

"Wow, a Krogan is telling me not to fight," I chuckled.

"That was the problem with the older generation. They were too eager to fight whatever challenged them, including one another. Any disagreement could result in bloodshed. They all thought they had the answers and others were fools if they didn't have the same ideals."

"That's why I kept Rylee and Liara around, they challenge me so I stay grounded."

"Yes, that's true but in your position, it's very easy to start thinking you have all of the answers. Shepard and T'Soni may offer you advice but at the end of the day it's up to you to take it."

What Wrex was saying did make a lot of sense. Fair enough I do have Rylee and Liara around, but how often have I gone against my first instinct and listened to them...

No, I'm being too dismissive. Yes, I may not always take what they say to heart but their advice does influence my decisions. Had they not been on my crew I probably would have killed Blake and the biotics who had Chairman Burns hostage. They've mellowed me out slightly but without dulling my edge.

"I get what you're saying. Pick your battles," I nodded.

"Yeah, good. The only way you could stand a chance against me is if you were as good as Krios."

"Thane Krios… what are you talking about? Is he any good?"

"He's an assassin Anderson, a highly respected one. Almost managed to get me once," the krogan chuckled.

"He almost got you?"

"Yeah, about 20 years back on Omega. I took a contract from Aria T'Loak to go and kill 3 high ranking Blue Suns. Zaeed Massani, Vido Santiago and Pietro Mazimav. They had been causing too much trouble on Omega and Aria was sick of it. It turned out that I wasn't the only one who was after the three of them. Krios had been on their tails for weeks and he was close to making the kill. I wasn't going to let those creds slip through my fingers so I tried to take him out before he could get to them. I managed to track him to the room."

"I'm surprised you were the only one with the idea to take him out."

"I wasn't. I'd heard that 6 other mercs were trying to kill him. Every one of them ended up dead within the week. That managed to scare off most of the amateurs. I had to be careful. I paid room service to go in before me to make sure there were no traps. As soon as it was safe I charged into the room straight at him."

"Then what happened?"

"I don't know how but he managed to side step me but he did. I've never seen anyone fight the way that drell did. I couldn't land a single hit on him. He managed to land four good, strong blows to my stomach, knee, head and neck, which managed to distract me for a few seconds. When I reached around for my weapon, he managed to slip out of the room."

"Impressive, I saw him first hand. I thought the way he dodged people was partly due to luck."

"No, it was skill. That drell is one slippery bastard. I kept up with him until he entered the market. Then he managed to disappear in broad daylight. One second he was in front of a kiosk, then three people walk past him in opposite directions and he was gone. Sharjila was the first time I'd seen him since."

"It's odd he didn't remember you. You seem to remember him."

"He remembers me. Drell have eidetic memories. He probably didn't think it was important to reminisce with Dantius' guards on our asses."

"Good point. But what happened to your targets?"

"Krios managed to get to Mazimav. They found his body aboard his ship. Massani and Santiago managed to broker a deal with Aria and she called off the contract."

"This Aria woman sounds powerful."

"She is…" he responded. Given his short answer I'm guessing he's done talking.

"So, long Wrex."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Apollo Café**

"She should be here by now," Nate muttered.

"Relax Nate, so what she's running a little late. Just have a little patience."

"Since when was I ever patient."

"Well you better develop some. My mum won't hesitate to kick your ass if you get out of line."

"You're damn right Rylee," my mum declared from behind Nate.

Nate stood up and offered a hand for her to shake it. I could see a vein on her forehead the moment I spotted her, so what happened didn't surprise me. She smacked him upside the back of his head whilst maintaining a stern look.

"Do you honestly think you could get away with not talking to me at all in the last 5 months," she stated.

All Nate could do was stand the holding the back of his now sore head. "I guess I kind of deserve that don't I."

"You bet your ass you do. You've been to Earth twice and you never so much as tried to contact me-"

"I think that's enough you two," Captain Anderson said, finally making his presence known.

We sat down at the table in awkward silence whilst we waited for the waiter to bring us our food. Mum looked legitimately pissed with Nate and if those two were in the same area I doubt we are ever going to eat in peace, so David asked Nate to accompany him to the bar, an offer which he gladly accepted.

"Was that really necessary mum?"

"Yeah it was. Do you know how worried I am about the two of you? You are hunting down Saren Arterius and an army of geth. Anything can happen to you two and he doesn't think I'm important enough to him to at least pick up the phone to call me."

"The mission has been really stressful, I doubt Nate's had much time to communicate with anyone outside of the crew."

To be perfectly honest, Nate doesn't have many friends outside of me and the crew, and that's a fact that he'll admit. Before this mission even started David, my mum and I were the only people he was in regular contact with. He started easing away from the REDS so he could let that part go, most of the Alliance soldiers I've been in contact with want nothing to do with him after what happened to his units on Torfan and Akuze.

"He has made time for Anderson so why not me?" she argued and to be fair she had a point. "I get that you want to defend your CO, but this is something I want to hear from Nathan's own mouth. Don't give him any excuses."

"Nate's been through a lot the past few months. A lot of people in his past have come back and he's had his head spun more than a few times."

"Really."

"Yeah… you already know about his childhood, don't you?"

She sat there a moment and her expression quickly changed from angry to sad. Her brows furrowed together and her mouth opened very slightly. "I saw him soon after they rescued him…" she attempted to wash her eyes of the image but it was clearly too much to bear.

"Oh, God Rylee, the state they found him in. The had shaved his head brutally, I can still remember the cuts on his head, the scrapes and bruises that covered his body. The rags they had him in… his frail, frail body language," I could tell she was fighting back the tears.

"He looked at us with fear and disgust… he pointed at me and called me an... animal," she choked out.

"Oh, my god," I whispered.

If there was a word I would never ever associate with Nate it would be frail. He's always been a symbol of strength for me. He was my source of strength back on Elysium. He took charge of the situation and he made me believe in myself.

His humanity has always been something he has been proud of and he always wears it like a badge of honour. He was always telling me that humanity needs to learn to stop relying so much on the Council to get things done and that we should learn to be more independent. He was always confident that he could do anything and fight longer than possible because of his determination as a human. To think he could ever call another human an animal… just like Talitha.

Oh my… Talitha is like Nate all those years ago.

That thought brought tears to my eyes, that one of my closest friends could ever have been that broken. No wonder he tries so hard not to show weakness.

"Maybe I overreacted… he never had a mother or at least he has no experience with a mother figure…"

"Mom... Nate isn't Ethan. You can't just replace him with another male," I stated.

"I know… it's just. No matter how much time passes that day never loses its impact. Losing my husband and my son on the same day isn't something I think I'll ever get over."

I didn't want to go down this path again. I've spent enough nights in the past thinking about this to know that this wouldn't end well. As sick as it may sound, watching my father die before my eyes did bring me some closure. I knew he was dead.

I never saw Ethan die, I never saw them take him away. I remember him screaming when they were dragging him away, while I was curled up in a ball, trying my best not to cry and draw attention to myself. All I know is that he's gone. For all I know he could still be out there like Talitha was, but the thought of seeing my brother broken and in such a state would kill me. He's probably long dead by now.

Oh, my God! Is that why we both chose to cling to Nate like this. Are we using him as some kind of surrogate to Ethan?

"Mum they're going to be back soon, so let's not do this now. Can we please just have a nice lunch?"

"Okay, I don't want to be angry at him… damn I can see them coming. What should we talk about?"

That's a good question. What should we talk about? I need a topic that could make this tension go away. Something light hearted that's going to get Nate involved and won't set my mom off.

I got it.

"Ask Nate about someone called Liara T'Soni," I said just before they got into eat shot.

Nate sat down cautiously next to my mother and for the first time in years, I saw Nate look regretful. Before he could muster up an apology my mother asked.

"What's this I hear about you and Liara T'Soni?"

Nate was legitimately floored by the question and stood there dumbfounded. He turned his ire to me and eyed me like a sister who's just snitched on him. I winked at him playfully before taking a sip of my water.

"Did I make a mistake?"

The rest of the dinner was spent with my mom teasing Nate about Liara and how close they were. David looked relieved that the tension was gone and he started enjoying himself at Nate's expense. To his credit, he didn't bring Kaidan up, but that was more likely because there could be repercussions to mentioning it to these two.

Despite the afternoon turned out to be a nice one. This mission is incredibly dangerous and we can die at any second. Every choice made can end up with someone dying, and I want to spend as much time with mom as possible in case it's me.

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

Dammit Rylee, you're going to pay for that. Using Liara as fuel for the conversation was an effective way to shift the tone, but the teasing was endless.

I didn't realise that people had noticed my closeness to Liara. I always thought I was careful not to let my feelings surface, but I guess I let something slip. If Rylee knows then Kaidan almost certainly knows. I can't be certain about the others, but if they aren't talking to me about it, then it's neither bothering or concerning them.

Blake called me and informed me that I was meant to meet a potential client. I don't know why she's asking me to attend this one, or why she made it sound so damn urgent. It had better be something to do with stopping Saren.

It's been so damn long since I've had any solid leads that I'm starting to fear that he's made significant headway in finding the conduit. The Council hasn't found shit and neither has Blake so my only hope is that Saren hasn't either. He can't be that covert… can he? The thought of being that far behind built up to the point I punched a nearby wall.

"You okay there Anderson?" Kaidan asked, suddenly appearing behind me.

"How long have you been there?"

"Not long, I was coming from buying some shirts when I saw you king this way. Is there something wrong?"

"It's been too damn long since we did anything involving Saren. We haven't found a single solid lead ever since Sharjila. Virmire turned out to be a damn dead end and for all we know Saren has already reached the Conduit and the Reapers are on their way here."

Kaidan sat back and allowed me to vent about my continued grievances with our situation. The main advantage to all of this has been improving the crew's relationship with one another. Fair enough we still must keep an eye on Wrex when he talks to Garrus but other than that we've been great. The younger members of the crew have completely accepted the presence of aliens on the Normandy, and Tali seems to be socialising more.

"Nate, remember we have eyes in damn near every part of the galaxy. With that Syndicate of yours and the Council's eyes out I bet Saren is walking on egg shells. Don't worry too much, I know somethings going to come up soon. You just have to have faith."

Truth be told Kaidan's words did improve my mood but I was determined to be bitter. "Do you always have to be so damned positive. Would it kill you to be glum just once?"

"Actually, it would. You know Rylee actually told me never to lose my smile," he grinned.

"Well she's not here right now. Work with me."

"Fine… the world is lost, the sky is burning, hanar are overthrowing the Council."

"Hanar would be a big improvement. They might actually get something done," I chuckled.

"I don't think your bosses would appreciate you saying that."

"Yeah well, everyone hates their boss."

"Can't argue with that," he smirked in my direction.

"Congrats Lt. you just landed yourself the job of janitor for the day. Next time you're on the Normandy you've got to clean out the Normandy's toilet and showers."

"I call for mutiny. Our captain is abusing his power!" he declared.

I'm glad Rylee chose Kaidan. He's the kind of person you'd recommend to women. He's honest, caring and a good person. Fair enough he's a bit reserved, but when you get him out of his shell he's just awesome to have around.

Before I knew it, we were at the designated location. I spotted Blake sitting at the table with a human man who was wearing oddly designed armour. It left him exposed to the elements given its short sleeves and thin material; and for some reason there was something protruding from his shoulders and his waist. He looked completely disinterested and seemed to be actively ignoring his Blake. This is obviously a middleman, his boss probably ordered him here and he isn't too happy about it,

"Hello Commander," Blake greeted with a handshake, a gesture I returned.

I turned my focus to the man sitting beside her, "Hello, Mister…"

"My name isn't important. What is important is the job I'm here to offer you," he replied sternly. So, he just wants to get straight down to business.

"What is it?"

"We need you to extract a child from a building."

"What do you mean extract?" I demanded.

"What else does extract mean, I need you to get a kid out of a building," he sneered derisively.

"Absolutely not. I'm not kidnapping a child for you. Just who the fuck do you think I am?!" I seethed. Do these sick assholes honestly think after what happened to me and Talitha I would help them out? Amid my anger, I never noticed the field of biotic energy that was beginning to encompass me.

He sat there perfectly still and relaxed, completely unaffected by my show of anger. He instead turned his head to Blake as though he expected her to convince me.

"What he meant to say was he wants rescue a child from the Ariake Technologies building on the Presidium. The child is under his care he would like for you to rescue him."

"And just why should I believe you."

"You can choose to believe me or not I don't care. Just get the job done if you want the information on Saren Arterius," he stated dismissively.

That immediately caught my interest. "What do you know about Saren?"

"My boss has been doing business with him. Saren's recent practices have forced him to reconsider his association with the turian."

"Which actions, the attack on Eden Prime, betraying the Council, killing another SPECTRE," I listed off.

"Please," the man scoffed. "Why would we turn away business for such trivial reasons? My organisation doesn't care about the Council or your pathetic colonies."

I couldn't hold back my confusion. He said your pathetic colonies… as if he wasn't human. He looked human enough. Maybe he's one of those cultists who believe that they've transcended humanity. I chose to ignore that statement and proceeded with business.

"Then why help me?"

"Because Saren is dealing with forces beyond his own comprehension and needs to be put down. We would deal with him ourselves if we weren't previously engaged in another matter. This mission is a test to see if you are worth helping in the future. If you're successful we'll provide you further aid."

I studied the man very carefully to see if there was any trace of deceit and I could find none. He spoke with supreme confidence, not arrogance but self-assuredness. He believed every word he said and I'm completely certain he isn't lying. He appeared more annoyed than anything else to have to speak to me… almost as though I was beneath him.

"So, this is an audition… what happens if I fail?"

"Then unfortunately Commander me and my colleagues would have no choice but to personally go after you and your crew."

I stormed up to him and lifted him by his collar with both my hands. "Don't you dare threaten my crew! If you ever do anything that stupid again you won't live to regret it. YOU GOT THAT!" I threatened. I'm just about ready to kick this guy's ass. Just who the fuck does he think he is.

He again wasn't angry or scared or shocked… he was bored. He didn't even have any expression on his face, be was just… uninterested.

He raised his hands and put them in between the gap of my two forearms and backhanded them away, forcing me to let go. He didn't look like he used much force, but it was enough to damn near dislocate my shoulder.

Without missing a beat, he pushed me away by forcing his palms into my chest and sent me flying. The scary part was that he didn't use any biotics, that was his natural strength. I skidded into some chairs and I was finally stopped by a table that had been welded into the ground.

He stood from his seat and stared me down. "My boss wants your response within the hour. This is a one-time only offer Commander. If you shut this door on us, we won't open it again. Think carefully."

Those were his last words before he left the restaurant. The waiter looked absolutely petrified of the mystery man and with good reason. He completely outclassed me without breaking a sweat and I'm no pushover.

"What just happened?" Kaidan asked.

"Our fearless leader just experienced what it's like to deal with the Magi," Helena responded. "They are notoriously strong but they mostly keep to themselves."

"I never knew that humans could be that strong. He tossed me around like I was made of paper. Just who is he?"

"He refers to himself as Won. This is the first face to face encounter I've had with them, but from what I've heard they are all as strong as he is. The technology they possess is extraordinary and years beyond what is currently available, but they refuse to deal with anyone. Not many are even aware of their existence."

"I've seen them in action before, but to actually get into a scuffle with one is something else entirely," I groaned, getting up to my feet.

"So, what are we going to do Commander?"

I had already made my mind up. In fact, I made my mind up as soon as I hit the ground "We're going to do what they say."

"WHAT! Have you lost your mind Commander? Since when do you help people that threaten the crew."

"I'm more concerned with finding Saren at this minute. We don't know what his next move and I'll be damned if I let him win. If that means playing their little game for now, then so be it."

"And what if they intend to sell the kid as a slave?" Kaidan asked.

"Then we send the kid to a peaceful planet without their knowledge and take our chances with the Magi."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **Location: Sentry Omega, Hoc System, SSV Normandy SR-1**

 **Flashforward**

Virmire…

If only I'd known just what would happen on the cursed planet. If I'd known that I'd lose a member of my crew, I would've done things differently.

I shouldn't have ever given Kirrahe any of my men.

I should've brought the full force of my syndicate.

I should've been faster.

I could have saved their life.

I picked up a picture frame from the ground and ran my thumb over it affectionately.

Rylee… I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.


	20. We need to get to Virmire

I must give Ariake Technologies credit, they make some damn good armour. My SPECTRE gear isn't as effective as it normally is. Their kinetic barriers, shields and armour have led to me having to wait for my weapons to cool down more often than usual.

I took Rylee, Ashley, Kaidan, Garrus and Liara with me on this one, and at this point our teamwork is amazing. No matter what combination I choose, we can all gel and work together seamlessly. Everyone knows their role and they can adjust at a moment's notice if conditions change.

Rylee sits back and picks off the heavies with her sniper, Ashley and I are the battering rams, using our shotguns to pummel our opponents into the ground. Whereas, Liara and Kaidan are the support, they overload shields, keep people off Rylee, lay down singularities to trap enemies or anything that assists us. The best thing is that I don't have to shout our strategy anymore, we just know what we're doing.

"Ha! That's 10 for me 4 for you!" Ashley exclaimed.

"I'm having an off day."

"Sure Commander, I'd be embarrassed and make excuses too if my subordinate was kicking my ass."

"Laugh it up Williams, you'll end up on cleaning duty."

"Being a sore loser isn't an attractive trait, Commander," she said in a singsong voice.

"Arrogance isn't an attractive trait Ash," I chuckled.

"It's not arrogant if it's the truth. Don't worry Commander, just because I'm beating you doesn't mean I like you any less," she winked.

Before I could even respond, Liara barged into me as she walked by. "I believe there's a time and place for chatter. In the middle of a battlefield isn't one of them," she asserted.

Ashley began snickering at Liara's obvious jealousy. Ashley has no interest in me, mainly because of Alliance regulations and more importantly, she sees me more as an older brother than anything.

As for Liara… damn this is fucked up. There aren't any regulations that prevent me from dating her nor, and there's definite interest on both sides. It's just I'm so damn fucked up that I don't think I can be the man she deserves…. Shut it Nate, you've got bigger worries right now.

"Seems our asari's turning green," Rylee teased.

"What do you mean? My skin pigmentation hasn't changed," Liara replied.

"It's a human expression, I'll explain back on the Normandy"

"If you two are quite finished, I'd like us to focus on the matter at hand," I interjected.

We still hadn't found the kid and we searched every nook and cranny of the floors preceding this one and we hadn't found a thing. Not a single trace of the kid, or any non-hostile workers. For some reason this building was chocked full with security and drones.

"The next floor is the top floor. If the kid's even here then he's got to be up there," I said whilst stepping over a security guard's corpse.

We headed up the steps anticipating a difficult battle, considering the number of drones and robots this firm has at their disposal. I had Tali scan their weapons, armour and drones for the RED Security's R&D department, whatever technology they're using, I want my men to have the same.

Upon reaching the main corridor of the floor I was horrified. This was an absolute bloodbath. The walls were covered in burn marks and the blood of those dead on the floor.

No one was mutilated or anything of the sort, but they were certainly brutalised. From the looks of things, a series of grenades were set off here and the bodies were sent flying, which would explain why everything is so out of order. But the grenades aren't the only thing that killed these people, because some have had their necks snapped and…

"Nate, I want whatever sniper rifle did this" Garrus said. "Two rows of 4 guards, all with the bullet holes in the same location. Any gun that can do that would do major damage against the geth."

With the armour and shields these guys are wearing, there's no way any regular gun could have done this. My SPECTRE gear is hardly putting a dent in them and it's top of the line.

"On your guard! Whatever did this could still be here. Let's find the kid and move out," I ordered.

"Whoever you are, get the hell out of my building!" a voice demanded, booming out of the PA. "You won't get away with killing me."

"I don't give a shit about you. I'm here for the kid."

"Just what do you want with the boy. He is nothing."

"That's none of your concern. Hand him over and we walk away right now,"

"He knows something…. I know he knows something, but he acts like he doesn't know but he does know, I just know it. You know that feeling in your gut when you know something is wrong, you know."

"You're crazy," Rylee interjected.

"I'm not crazy, I'm doing the smart thing. The child must die, and now so must-"

He was interrupted by what appeared to be someone striking him with something hard. What we next heard was the sounds of struggle and a child calling for help. No one needed to hear anymore before we all dashed towards the CEO's office, desperately hoping that the kid was still alive, especially after we heard a gunshot.

The CEO's door was open wide and even from outside it was clear that a fight had broken out. Data pads and table accessories were all over the floor and glass was completely shattered on the ground. We all approached the room with caution. This guy is armed and none of us are in any rush to die.

If that kid is dead, then I'm throwing this moron out of the window.

We stepped into the room fearing the worst and prepared to see a dead child. But we didn't see that. Instead we saw a child curled up in a ball, in the corner of the room. He looked horrified at the sight before him and he was shivering. All he could do was point at the massive desk. He was muttering something but it was incoherent babble.

Leaning against the side of the desk, dead with a hole in his chest was what I assume is from the gun that's on the floor.

"Crap…" was all Garrus could say.

I took my helmet off and rubbed my eyes with frustration. This kid shouldn't have been the one to pull the trigger, it should have been me. He looks like he hasn't even hit puberty yet and he's already killed a man. That marks you in a way that can't be described, it's… almost as if that person you killed took a piece of your being with them. The first kill is always hardest… however once you've reached my body count, killing means nothing.

"Rylee… Liara can you?"

The both nodded and carefully approached the kid, who was flinching at the prospect of two people coming at him. They put their weapons down and took off their helmets and tried to talk to the kid. I sent them two because I learned in my SPECTRE training that children are more comfortable around female strangers than male ones. Garrus is a Turian and human parents tend to put it in their children's minds that Turians are the enemy. I didn't choose Ashley because I'm not too sure how good she is at dealing with people like this, whereas Liara and Rylee have some experience since they've dealt with me.

"H-He was killing everyone in the building… he thought that someone was giving out company information. He was going to shoot me I had to-" the kid murmured.

"Shh it's okay, we don't blame you for what you did. You were defending yourself from him and you did what was needed to survive. No one is going to blame you for that," Rylee responded.

"But I killed a man… he's dead because of me."

"You would be dead if you didn't, so you shouldn't blame yourself," Liara added.

"What's your name sweetie?" Rylee asked.

"… Kai"

"It's not safe to stay here, Kai. Let me take you home."

"I just want to see my friends again."

Friends? Normally people want to see they're family again. Either this kid is estranged or an orphan with no family.

"Is Won your friend?" I asked. I swear for a millisecond the kid's expression dropped slightly and his eyes conveyed disgust, but that moment was so brief that even I can't be certain that I saw it.

"Won is my protector. I'm safe with him," he said but there was a slight hitch in his voice.

"You don't sound so sure."

"It's his job to make sure I stay alive… now can I please go."

"Sure thing, we'll take you to Huerta Memorial and let the doctors check up on you, then we'll hand you over to Won," I said.

"Commander, there's something we need to talk about, preferably in private," Garrus said in a quiet voice.

"What's it about?"

"Something about this whole mess just doesn't seem to add up."

"You're feeling it too. Okay, we'll talk after I meet Won."

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Wards Access Corridor**

This is the Nav point that he said he would be at but there's still no sign of him. All I see are a bunch of poor merchants and homeless people all begging the passers-by for credits, clothes and red sand. I need to do something about this, the Citadel is supposed to be the greatest place in the galaxy, there shouldn't be homelessness. I'll have Blake get us some property aboard the station so we can build a shelter.

"Excuse me there soldier, but can you spare a veteran a few credits," a decrepit old man said as he got nearer to me.

I gave the guy 100 creds, in the hope that he would walk away but instead he stayed. Besides, 100 creds are nothing to me now and he needs it more than me.

"You look very familiar, have we met before?" he asked.

"I've been with the Alliance for 10 years, we might have served together."

"No, we didn't. I left the Alliance 18 years ago, before that I served on the SSV Einstein."

"The Einstein huh, did you know Hannah Shepard?"

"Yeah, we shared watch on the CIC, she'd vouch for old Zabaleta."

"Ok Mr Zabaleta it's been nice talking to you but I'm meant to meet someone soon so…"

"I'll get out of your hair… thank you for the creds," he said before sprinting towards another passer-by, hoping for another big pay day.

"Is it wise to give that much money to someone who's clearly going to waste it all on drugs or alcohol?" a man said from behind me. I could instantly tell who it was by the arrogant, bored tone.

"That's none of your concern. Kai is at Huerta Memorial getting treated by doctors. He was covered in bruises and cuts when we got to him."

"Good Commander, you managed to return the boy in one piece," Won praised, but his expression appeared more annoyed than anything else.

"Yeah, I kept my end of the bargain, so give me the information on Saren."

"I'll give you the information under one condition."

"That's enough of your games," I seethed before grabbing him by the collar. "You said rescue the kid and I'll get the information."

"There are two parts of the information Commander. I'll give you the first part now and the second after completing a simple task," Won stated. "Now let me go unless you want a repeat of what happened last time."

I don't blame him for his confidence, he completely outclassed me last time, so it's clear that going through this routine is going to backfire on me.

"Fine… so what's the second task?" I said whilst letting go.

"I want you to take the boy to Port Hanshan on planet Novaria. His closest friends are there and so are his carers. Do that and our business is concluded."

"The Normandy isn't a passenger vessel. Send him on a commercial one."

"The kid needs protection. I can't take him because I need to be elsewhere in the next few days. These two pieces of information are part of the reason my boss severed ties with Saren. So, act quickly, unless you wish to fall behind."

"Fine, we'll take the kid to Novaria. Now what do you know about Saren?"

"He's building a krogan cloning facility on Planet Virmire at the behest of his ship sovereign."

"At his ships behest? The ship is telling him what to do."

"Yes, but that's all I've been instructed to tell you. Here is the planet's location, but you should speak to your Council. It appears they've been hiding things from you. Salarian Special Tasks Group are on the planet."

"You mean like the Planet Virmire. They told me it didn't exist," I snapped. That and the have boots on the ground without informing me.

"Thanks for the info," I seethed before running towards the service elevator. Time is of the essence

"Goodbye, Anderson."

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Council Chambers**

Those lying, snake skinned assholes. How could they even think about hiding this from me? I guess Aldis was right, they just want to see me fall. They don't want a human to succeed where they had failed. They've probably sent another team to do the job, just so they could say they did my job for me. Granted, hanging up on them as often as I have has soured our relationship, but keeping this from me is unforgivable.

"Good day Agent Anderson, wh-" the asari assistant greeted before being interrupted by me.

"I need to talk to the Council now!"

"They are in a meeting with the human ambassador, I'm sure the meeting will be over soon," she reasoned.

"Listen I know you don't know much about what's going on. But I'm only asking this once. Take me to the Council!" I demanded.

"Agent Anderson, I'm afraid I cannot-"

This time she was interrupted by me taking out my grabbing her collar and pulling her towards me. "I don't have time to waste. Either take me to the Council or I'll leave them a note written in your blood," I threatened.

She appeared absolutely terrified and I don't blame her. It's times like this where having a reputation as the Butcher and a loose cannon have helped me. I have no intention of following through with the threat. 5-6 months ago, I probably would have gone through with it as well, but now, I doubt I could. She hasn't done anything wrong and she's just doing her job. I can't fault her for that.

We reached our destination and she shakily entered the key code, it's probably used just in case she has urgent news for them.

"Yaris, what are you doing? We're in the middle of an important meeting."

"I-I'm sorry Councillors but…"

I pushed past her and revealed myself to the room. "Leave!" I ordered, and this time she listened immediately.

"What's the meaning of this Commander!? We're discussing colonisation rights in the Hades Gamma."

"As important as they might be, mine trumps that. It seems my new bosses aren't keeping me in the loop regarding Saren."

"How dare you accuse the Council of-" Sparatus began.

"Shut up! For all I know you're still protecting him, like you did after Eden Prime!"

"Commander, reign yourself in." Udina warned.

Udina despises me I just know it. I know for a fact he wishes that Rylee was the SPECTRE instead of me. She probably wouldn't be as confrontational and aggressive.

"Or what, they're going to fire me. They're the ones who told me to hunt the bastard down and now they're holding me back. Tell me Councillors, what happened to Virmire. Did it magically reappear overnight, is that why STG are investigating Saren there?"

Shocked wouldn't begin to describe the look on their faces. For the first time since I've started dealing with them, I had managed to shut them up. They couldn't believe that I'd managed to find something they were clearly hiding from me, but why would they hide it.

"Want to explain?" Udina asked, he seemed to be more confused than anything else.

"Commander we didn't keep it from you to hinder your progress. We do far more than you realise. STG, Matriarchy, the Hierarchy are all beholden to the Council. We sent STG to investigate to make sure we weren't wasting time. We have dozens of teams working in tandem to find Saren, just because we didn't tell you about Virmire, it doesn't mean we aren't working with you," Tevos asserted.

"I told you about Virmire. I told you Saren has a base there but you told me it didn't exist."

"That's because it wasn't on any records. We believe Saren must have erased it all Council databases, with the geth at his disposal that's a possibility."

"Then how did you find it?" Udina asked.

"We made a deal with Aria T'Loak," Tevos announced.

That name pops up again. This asari must be a major player in galactic politics if the Council are going through her rather than the shadow broker. When this is, all said, and done I need to meet her.

"I don't give a shit what deal was made. What did the Salarians tell you?"

The councillors each exchanged looks, but no one spoke and that's giving me a bad feeling. No one was saying anything and that was getting me antsy. There's only one explanation I can think of that would make the Councillors quiet. They're embarrassed.

"You've lost contact haven't you," I guessed.

Their silence was all the answer I needed. I stood there rubbing my eyes, my muscles tense and shaking and fighting the snarl threatening to escape my lips. "How long ago?" I gritted through my teeth.

"1 standard day ago," Valern answered.

"I'm going to Virmire and I'm going to rescue your people. Hopefully there's something on Saren. Now is there anything that STG told you."

"We'll have their messages forwarded to the Normandy, but we must warn you that the more recent ones are unintelligible. Commander, those messages were sent through channels restricted to mission critical communication. So, it was important."

"And you still kept this from me. How many teams and groups were you going to send before informing me about Virmire? Am I at the bottom of your priority list."

"Commander, we weren't sure if you would listen, considering how often you hang up on us," Tevos snapped.

"Maybe if we could fully trust you to do the right thing then we would come to you more often." Sparatus.

"Fuck you," I spat.

"Anderson, control yourself. You represent humanity to the Council. Whatever anger they have towards you, they take it out on our species. So please stop," Udina begged.

He appeared to be angry, with a familiar scowl and scrunched nose. But this time I could see something different. Desperation.

He wants to help humanity, he truly does. He wants to help us advance but he's no soldier. He's doing it in the only way he knows how, just like I try to in the only way I know. He doesn't deserve his job to become any more difficult than it already is.

"I think that's enough out of you Commander. Don't you have a Rogue SPECTRE to catch," Tevos dismissed, whilst shooing me away with her hands. As if I were a dog. As if I were her pet. Like I was an ANIMAL.

I found myself instinctively taking a step towards her to attack. I had my biotics concentrated in my fist, prepared to punch her through the wall.

Fuck these aliens who think they're better than me. You are not my master and you will never hold my leash again. Not any asari, turian, salarian, hanar or batarian.

"Be still love," Liara's voice instructed. "Let me soothe you pain. Let me cool your rage," she proclaimed.

Upon hearing her voice, I came to my senses. I became aware of the dark energy that had built up around my fist and quickly restrained myself. Thankfully no one else spotted it so I'm in the clear. If they think I'm a threat to their safety, they won't hesitate to have me killed.

I cursed as I stormed out of the room. I work for the most indecisive, inactive, biggest wastes of life in the universe. I have heard of incompetence but this is a whole new level. If I could I would replace the three of them in a heartbeat. They had better hope that their lives never fall into my hands.

I radioed Joker to tell him to prepare for immediate departure, and issued a 1 hour return order to any crew that were ashore. We need to get to Virmire immediately before Saren can accomplish whatever it is he's trying to achieve.

Rylee is with Captain Anderson right now, I need to ask David a favour anyways.

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, C-Sec Academy**

 **[** _Rylee_ **]**

Me and Captain Anderson were kicking back and having drinks in Flux when Nate comes in like a storm and pretty much drags us to C-Sec academy, going on something about the Council. This probably has something to do with the return order he issued.

He took the two of us into the interrogation room and we sat directly across from him. "Captain I need to ask you a favour."

"What is it?"

"I need you to watch this kid for a few days until I get back."

"Are you talking about Kai?" I asked.

"Yeah, we need to take him to Novaria. But we can't do it now, the next place we're going to is too dangerous to take a child."

"I know it's your ship now Nate, but why are you even entertaining the possibility of using the Normandy as a passenger vehicle."

"I wouldn't be doing this if I saw no benefit. The people who gave me information have asked me to take him to Novaria if I want the rest of it. Plus, the kid wants to go. I just can't take him now."

"Does he know what's going on?"

"Yeah, he does, I dropped by the hospital before coming here. He has your picture and the nurses know who to look out for. Just bring confirmation of ID when you pick him up."

Captain started chuckling, "You're really not giving me much of a choice are you."

"Thanks David. Rylee, we need to get aboard the ship now. I'll explain what's going on in the team meeting."

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **[** _Liara_ **]**

"So now the Council have STG on Virmire but they haven't reported in the last days or so," Nathan finished

There was an immediate outpour of rage and frustration. The most Vocal being Ashley and Garrus. Garrus has grown so much since joining the crew. When he initially joined, he kept mostly to himself and didn't really speak to anyone. After Nate started talking to the Turian and took him under his wing he has shown his strength. Garrus has become one of his most trusted confidantes aboard the ship, with Nate often discussing battle tactics with him. Nate has influenced Garrus a great deal since meeting him and for better or worse, Garrus has become a stronger personality aboard the ship.

"The Council can't be that stupid. We haven't failed a simple task that's been assigned to us by themselves or the Alliance," Ashley argued.

"They think I failed on Therum and Feros. They wanted me to keep the ruins intact and keep the Thorian alive for study," Nate sighed, whilst digging his fingers into his temples.

"They can't be serious. The Thorian was going to kill us and enslave an entire colony. If we didn't use the laser, the geth would have outnumbered and killed us," Garrus countered.

"I am just as pissed off as the rest of you. But right now, we need to focus. Joker said that we are 15 hours away from Virmire. Use that time to rest and prepare. Saren is probably on the planet and if so, expect a geth army. We need to be on top of our game."

"You're making this sound final Commander," Wrex said.

"Just being careful Wrex."

"We've got Saren by his neck. All that's left to do is squeeze."

"Well said. Everyone's dismissed. Liara I need to talk to you, can you stay behind?" Nate instructed.

"Someone's in trouble," Williams teased.

"Grow up, Ash," he smirked.

Once the room was clear we began talking. "Liara, what are the side effects of melding?"

"Why? Are you experiencing anything strange Commander?"

"Just answer the question."

I pursed her my and gazed into his eyes. "There aren't any to my knowledge. It provides us a deeper sense of understanding of one another, but that's about it."

"So, it doesn't put you in my head. It can't let you talk to my mind or appear before me as a mirage."

"No. I am afraid if you are experiencing that, it must be purely from your own psyche. Have you been thinking about me Commander?"

"Yes, and I want it to stop."

"Wow, I was not expecting that. But unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it. Can I ask what sort of thoughts have you been having?"

"Nothing sordid… you appear in mirrors, I hear your echoes in my mind, telling me things… and no I'm not going to tell you what they're saying."

This is very intriguing. In all the books, I've read on the subject, none have ever mentioned this. One's essence remaining in her partner's mind after the connection is severed. I need to do more research.

"That is fine. You can tell me when you are ready."

"Dammit Liara why are you so damned understanding!" he growled, before jumping up from his seat in anger.

I moved to touch his shoulder but he immediately reached for my arm and grabbed it. "Don't touch me" he shouted.

He walked over to the other side of the room, his biotic aura on full display. His back was turned to me, but it was clear he was frustrated. His muscles were tensed and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I almost killed the Asari Councillor today," he confessed.

Try as I might, I couldn't hide the shock. Killing a Councillor is unthinkable and reckless even for him. The ramifications would be immense for this crew and humanity as a whole.

He wouldn't try to kill her no matter how much she insulted him or no matter what decision she made. I know Nathan well enough to know he has restraint. So, what is it that could have set him off. I has to be an action she performed. She must have done something that made him lose his mind.

"Why did the thought cross your mind?"

"She… shooed me, like I was a dog she could dismiss."

A dog? From the sound of things that's probably a pet of some kind. So, she made him feel like a pet. By the Goddess. She made him feel like an animal. Just like Talitha.

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm scared I might wake up, see you and immediately go back there. I might kill you because I wake up thinking you're trying to hurt me, just like my former masters." He confessed.

"Whenever I see an alien I still feel that fire in my stomach. I hate the fact I still can't shake my fear of batarians, no matter how small it is now. I still feel a slight hatred towards all aliens. And I can't stand the fact that I look at you and I can see my former masters in your eyes."

As he spoke, I quietly got behind him and embraced him. At first, he was perfectly still, but I could feel his muscles melt to my touch.

"You wouldn't hurt me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know that you care about me, and you want to protect me."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?"

"Because I love you."

Once I said those words he pulled himself away from me and walked out of the room. He didn't utter a single word, nor did he even look back. I tried to fight back the tears but found that was a battle I was destined to lose.

That hurt.

 **Flash-forward**

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK SHIT SHIT, SHIT. Why the fuck is my life never fair? Is it my purpose in life to suffer? This constant guilt eating away at my very being. It feels like I'm slowly becoming a husk. A soulless vessel just passing through life.

We needed to make sure the nuke went off, we had to make the smart choice. But it doesn't make what happened any easier to digest. Losing crew is the worst feeling a CO can ever experience.

"Nate, are you up?"

"I can't sleep."

"You should get some rest. We'll reach Earth soon."

I turned to face her and caressed her cheek. I can't ever lose her, I couldn't take it. She means more to me than anything and I would die to protect her.

"I love you Liara."

"I love you too Nate"

Kaidan, Rylee please I hope you both understand. I made the choice Rylee. Someone had to die I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.


	21. Live on your knees, or Die on your feet!

This planet is hell. The sheer number of geth that are swarming this planet is mind boggling. The only time we could rest has been just before we open the gate to move on to the next area. This breeding facility must be very important to the slippery bastard if he's committing this many resources to it.

"Commander, I think that's the salarians camp just ahead," Tali

"Thanks, Tali, everyone prepare to exit," I instructed.

"There aren't that many of them there, Commander."

"Given what we've just gone through, I think it's a miracle that they're even alive."

I had all hands-on deck for this mission, given the chances of Saren making an appearance. Buying Krogan slaves to provide more bodies for this research facility is a ballsy move. But why Krogan?

"I'm Captain Kirrahe, in command of Company A, Third Infiltration Regiment, Salarian Special Tasks Group," said the salarian. "You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hot zone. Every AA gun within twenty kilometres has been alerted to your presence. Take off and your ship becomes flinders."

"We took out one set of AA guns on the way in. We can go out the same way."

"Not now that the enemy is on the alert. They'll fill the gap in their coverage within the next 25 minutes. There's nothing we can do until the Council sends the reinforcements we requested."

"Hmm. We _are_ the reinforcements," Rylee interjected.

"What? You're all they sent? I told the Council to send a _fleet."_

"The transmission was crap. We were sent to investigate."

"That is a repetition of our task. I lost half my men _investigating_ this place."

"Saren seems to value this place, considering how many geth are here.?"

"That's understandable since this is Saren's base of operations," said Kirrahe.

Good, I can finally meet the bastard face to face. After all of this pussyfooting, I'm glad I can finally have a straight up one on one fight. Let's see what he can do without his Ship following him around.

"He's built some sort of research facility here," Kirrahe continued. "It's crawling with geth and extremely well-fortified. Normally we would need a whole fleet to reduce this place. We'll have to consider alternative plans."

"Is he here? Have you seen him? His flagship, _Sovereign?"_ I demanded.

"No. If he is here, he's staying out of sight. Even so, his geth are everywhere and we've intercepted communications referring to him. This is his facility, there's no doubt about that."

"I already know that he's cloning Krogan here, how many are we going to be dealing with?" I stated.

"Cloning, no he's not cloning Krogan. He's breeding them," he revealed.

This immediately caught the interest of Liara, Garrus and the last person who should have heard that. Urdnot Wrex

"He's doing what?" Garrus said.

Cloning a Krogan is one thing, it's relatively easy to do nowadays. But to be able to enable them to breed again, that's galaxy shattering news.

"How is that possible?" Wrex demanded, after barging his way through the salarians into our conversation.

Kirrahe didn't quite flinch, but his stance did become slightly tense. "He appears to have discovered a cure for the genophage."

Garrus frowned. "The geth are bad enough. A krogan army, loyal to Saren . . . he'd be almost impossible to defeat."

"Obviously the Turians and the Salarians would want to destroy the genophage cure."

"Wrex, this isn't just about our people, this is…"

"This has everything to do with my people Garrus!"

"We must see that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."

"Destroyed?" objected Wrex. "I don't think so. My people are dying. If Saren has a cure, it can save us."

Kirrahe opted to carry on speaking to me. "If that cure leaves this planet, the krogan become unstoppable. We salarians uplifted the krogan and turned them loose on the galaxy once. We can't make that mistake again."

Wrex pushed forward, looming over Kirrahe, _"My people are not a mistake."_

"Wrex, now isn't the time" said Rylee quietly.

Wrex gave me a look that was cold even for him, but I didn't budge, he instead walked over to a stretch of sand before firing shots into the ocean with his shotgun.

"Is he going to be a problem?" Kirrahe asked.

"You worry about your men, I'll worry about mine," I instructed before heading over to Wrex.

Before I could leave I felt a hand on my shoulder and unsurprisingly it was Liara. She didn't have to say anything for me to know exactly what she was thinking. She was telling me to be careful.

It probably isn't the smartest thing in the world to approach a Krogan who's angrily firing shotgun rounds into the ocean. But if I don't then Wrex might end up killing the Salarians.

"This isn't right, Anderson. If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

"Calm down Wrex, Saren is the threat here. We both know that."

"The line between friend and foe is getting real blurry from where I stand. Help me out here, Anderson," Wrex said menacingly.

"If we let Saren do whatever he's planning here, you won't be around to reap the benefits of a genophage cure."

"That's a risk we should be willing to take."

"The Reapers will return and destroy all of us. Nothing is worth that risk. Believe me Wrex if you had these visions too, then you would know exactly how I'm feeling."

"Listen Nate, you have done more for me than anyone in my family ever has. But I need a damn good reason to go through with this."

"Saren is the real enemy, Wrex! Can't you see that. Don't you remember why we came here in the first place."

"Anderson, when we first arrived, I thought Saren was just cloning the Krogan, but now I find out he's curing the genophage and you want to stop him. Seems to me that you're my real enemy Anderson," Wrex roared before aiming his shot gun directly at me. The moment he reached back, I instinctively grabbed my own and we had a face off

I glanced up and I saw Garrus and Rylee, both with their guns aimed at Wrex. This is going to get bloody, very quickly if I don't diffuse the situation.

"Nate, answer me honestly. If humans had suffered the genophage, and Saren was providing a cure. Wouldn't you want to let him find the cure?"

"Yes, I would want to, Wrex."

"Then you know what I have to do."

"But I know a little bit about slavery and subjugation. Saren doesn't give a shit about the Krogan people or how they've suffered because of the genophage. He is looking for an army and he will treat these 'Krogan' like disposables. Because deep down you know these aren't your people. They are instruments of Saren, that can't be allowed to live."

"I've been loyal to you so far. You've shown sound judgement lately. Maybe I can trust you. But if I'm going to follow you into this, I have got to know that we're doing it for the right reasons," he said whilst nearly lowering his weapon; Rylee and Garrus mirrored his action.

"I think so," I said. "They are tools of Saren and the reapers. Do you want that for your people?"

Wrex stared at me, one hand opening and closing near the stock of his shotgun.

Rylee eased her weapon upward, still not quite pointing it at the krogan, but very close. I followed suit, calling up a biotic surge, light and electrical charge beginning to encapsulate my entire body. The moment he raises his weapon I'll hit him with a biotic charge.

"No," said Wrex finally. "We were the Council's tools once. To thank us for saving them from the rachni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren will even be that _generous."_

"Wrex, I promise you that I will do everything within my power to help the krogan people. I will try and cure the genophage."

The krogan relaxed and nodded. "All right, Nate. You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. But when we find Saren . . . _I want his head."_

 _I offered my hand out to him and he shook it with vigour. "Tell Vakarian and Shepard they can lower their weapons. And tell T'Soni she can relax. You aren't dying today," he grunted before stomping over to the Mako._

 _I looked up again and saw Rylee and Garrus holstering their guns. But Liara was someone I hadn't spotted earlier. When Wrex turned around she put her hands down and let out a huge sigh of relief._

 _I got lucky here. I should have let Rylee handle this one, she's the diplomatic one and she's closer to Wrex. But all's well that ends well. Now it's back to the mission at hand._

I spent the next 10 minutes with Rylee, Kirrahe, Kaidan and Garrus discussing how we could go about destroying an entire facility with limited resources. We were lacking any sort of conventional bomb and any guidance system to deliver it, so whatever we could do would have to involve placing it the bomb at the right location.

"We can sacrifice our ship's drive and convert the core into a twenty-kiloton ordnance," said the salarian. "More than enough to destroy this facility. The problem is delivering it."

"We don't have the manpower to outlast Saren's entire Geth army. We'd be slaughtered."

"That's correct," said Kirrahe. "We will need to _place_ the bomb at the right location, by hand. This means we will have to infiltrate the facility on foot, pacify its ground forces, and disable its AA guns before we can bring your ship in with the bomb."

"Shit I forgot about the AA guns. Who's going to take them down?" Garrus inquired

"I will divide my men into two teams and strike the front of the facility. Our objective will be the AA guns. While we have their attention, you and a 'shadow' team can infiltrate in the back."

"That's not a bad plan, but your men are going to get slaughtered by Geth."

The crazy bastard was smiling. "We're tougher than we look, Commander. It's true, though, I don't expect many of us are going to make it out alive." That smile quickly dissipated.

"That makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult. I need two of your men, 1 to accompany each team to accompany me, to coordinate my teams with yours."

Shit.

"You would need people who know Alliance communications protocols," observed Shepard. "I volunteer," she declared

"Lieutenant, the Commander is going to need you by his side going into battle, I'll accompany one of the teams," Ashley volunteered.

"Not so fast, Lieutenant. You're the better combat engineer. The commander will need you to arm and place the nuke. I'll go with the salarians," Kaidan argued.

"That's not your call to make."

"It's neither of your calls so shut up!" I shouted. "I get it, you're both willing to sacrifice yourselves for the mission, but I'd rather you both survive. Rylee you're with me, you're going to arm the bomb, Kaidan and Ashley go with the Salarians." I decided.

"What!" Rylee exclaimed

"Kaidan is more experienced and he knows Alliance protocol better than you, he's also right about the fact you're the better engineer so we need you to arm the bomb. Now get ready to move out. We move in 5 minutes." I asserted.

"Once the bomb is set up we'll rendezvous with your ship and get off this planet," Kirrahe suggested.

But before I left the tent I went up to Kirrahe and said "They had better come out of this alive."

 **x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

I must give Saren credit, when he wants something guarded, then he goes all out. Stalkers, hunters, snipers, primes he made sure there were geth of all kinds for me to kill, and I'm exhausted. Part of that is our fault considering we disabled the alarms so Kaidan and Ashley's teams wouldn't deal with as much resistance, but damn near at the cost of my leg, if Wrex hadn't killed the Krogan berserker.

We even made sure the geth flyers weren't a problem at the cost of Tali's recon drone being destroyed so we won't be able to plan as effectively.

And then there was the captured Salarians that were speaking like schizophrenics. They spoke as if someone was whispering in their ears, telling them to act crazy. Rylee wanted to release them but I managed to convince her about how dangerous it would be. They were clearly unstable and for all we knew they may have fallen to Saren's influence. I made the choice to leave them there to die. A choice Rylee was clearly very pissed off at.

We entered the next room and the first thing we heard was "Don't shoot, please!" an asari dressed in a lab coat, her hands in plain view, clearly a scientist. "I just want to get out of here before it's too late."

"We're not going to hurt you unless you open fire first," said Rylee whilst glaring at me. "So far you're the first person who hasn't done that. Who are you?"

"Rana Thanoptis, neurospecialist. Saren hired me to work in the lab . . . but this job isn't worth dying over, or worse. Sooner or later the indoctrination is going to get me too!"

"What are you doing out here?" I asked.

"Are you the ones working on a Genophage cure?" Wrex demanded.

Thanoptis shook her head emphatically. "None of us are, not on this level. We're studying the effect of proximity to _Sovereign_ on organic minds. At least that's what I deduced after I was here for a while. Saren kept us all in the dark as much as possible."

"You helped him and you did not even know why?" I asked.

"After I got here, I discovered I didn't have the option of negotiating. This position is a lot more _permanent_ than I expected." She looked over to the door leading out of the room. Wrex shot at the door causing her to look back at us.

"She's clearly useless to us Commander, let me kill her."

"NO! Please don't! I can help you, though. This is Saren's personal office. That door behind me is his private lab space. Nobody knows what he does in there . . . but I can get you in."

Thanoptis went to the door, used her omni-tool to hack the lock. While she was thus engaged, Wrex approached her with his shotgun aimed at her back in case she tried to escape.

"See?" said the scientist, wheedling. "Full access. All Saren's private files. Are we good? Can I go?"

"In a minute," Shepard answered. "Tell me about your research first. What exactly were you studying here?"

"It's that dreadnaught, _Sovereign_. It emits some kind of signal or energy field. Undetectable, but it's there. I've seen the effects, measured them. Saren uses it to influence his followers. To control them."

"That's was happened to the Salarians in the cells isn't it. You exposed them to Sovereign," I pointed out.

"That's correct… Saren said we needed more subjects so he captured the soldiers."

"They acted strangely and they complained about a voice constantly in their ears. Is that what happens when your exposed to Sovereign?" Liara questioned.

"Direct exposure to the signal eventually renders you a willing slave," she continued, "but there's collateral damage too. The subject becomes increasingly unable to think independently. Complete mindlessness, like those salarian test subjects on the first floor. It happens to everyone here eventually. My first test subject was the man I replaced. Now I just want to get out of here before it happens to me."

"That's what Won meant when he said at the behest of his ship… Saren's been indoctrinated," I concluded.

"You're right the signal doesn't come from Saren, it comes from the ship. It makes people obey him, but I don't think he controls it." A haunted expression came into her eyes. "I think . . . I think he's frightened it might be affecting _him_. Indoctrination is subtle. By the time the effects become noticeable, it's already too late."

This whole place seriously pisses me off. He's subjugated the Krogan he's bred, he's managed to use good soldiers as cannon fodder and test dummies. Just like they tried with me… and she's the one who carried out his bidding.

"I'm blowing this place sky high, you can either be a part of the fireworks or you can watch from afar, your choice," I growled before taking the flash drive with all the information she'd just extracted.

"What? You can't – but I'll never," she complained, before I gave her a look that would give the most hardened of soldiers pause. " _aaah!"_

"Tali get everything you possibly can out of the computer, I don't care how insignificant. See if you can get access to anything else through that computer," I ordered. "Wrex, Rylee stay and guard her, Liara and Garrus let's look through Saren's office."

We walked across the walkway towards Saren's office. For some reason, I actually had the picture of a typical office like those on the Presidium, but that was naïve. Instead it was an empty room, with an upper platform and a giant spire at the end.

"Commander, I think that's a Prothean beacon," Liara gasped.

I inspected the spire and felt an air of familiarity. This is definitely a beacon. If Saren already had a beacon why would he need to go to Eden Prime… unless.

"This is the missing other half…" I whispered.

"Saren's had this the entire time?" Garrus wondered out loud.

"He went to Eden Prime because this beacon has an incomplete vision… he's had the whole vision since the invasion and the Cipher… so what's holding him back. He has to have found the Conduit by now."

"Maybe this beacon has the Conduit's location on it."

"Well there's only one way to find out, here goes nothing," I uttered, as I approached the 2nd beacon.

This time I didn't struggle as it pulled me in. The images were just as broken as they were before, the only difference being that I could make out some of the words that people were screaming. They were pleads for help and screams of vengeance as their city burned. But the focus was more on these machine constructs. They were monstrous, gigantic, terrifying. They flooded the skies and darkened the worlds they descended. Slaughtering everything in sight, destroying worlds.

If there was one emotion I could feel encapsulated this memory, it would be fear. The dread that was coursing through the Protheans veins was palpable, these machines were the Harbingers of their destruction and they knew it. They were inescapable and their deaths were imminent. They feared the Reapers with every fibre of their beings.

I dropped to the ground with a resounding thud, thankful that I was still conscious this time. This isn't the kind of mission that I can afford to not be at 100% for.

"Are you okay Nate?" Garrus asked.

"I'm alright, now let's get back to the others."

We returned to the platform above, ready to continue our mission when we were interrupted by a robotic voice. It was deep, and emotionless.

" **You are not Saren,"** the voice said.

On instinct, we all turned around with our weapons drawn only to see a red hologram. It was huge and it easily took up most the room, "What _is_ that? Some kind of VI interface?" Garrus asked.

I shook my head, approaching the hologram cautiously. "No, this is that warship that Saren brought to Eden Prime," I answered. "Wrex, Tali, Rylee get your asses over here ASAP." I ordered.

"Tali's almost done, we'll be there in a minute," Rylee replied.

"I don't think we have much time left. Get out of there."

" **Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding."**

"So you're the overgrown squid that Saren likes to take for a joyride," I mocked.

" **Your words are hollow, spoken being a creature of flesh and blood. Your insults mean nothing human. You have seen what is on the beacon, you know the power we possess.** "

"What did you see Commander?" Garrus wondered.

"More death and destruction, I'm going to need more time to process the images," this isn't the time to tell them… can't let my fear show.

" **It does not matter whether you process the Protheans message. For you will all soon perish.** "

Wrex, Tali and Rylee ran into the room, ready to fire, but soon holstered their guns upon seeing the hologram.

"Shit so that's _Sovereign?_ " Wrex said.

I haven't felt fear like this in a long time, if you exclude the beacon experience. This fear wasn't because I was experiencing someone else's terror. This is fear born of knowing exactly what the reapers are capable of, and after that vision, I know one thing for certain.

Sovereign is a Reaper.

" **There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own that you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am** **_Sovereign_** **."**

" _Sovereign_ isn't just a piece of Reaper technology, a derelict Saren found to use as his flagship," said Shepard slowly. "It's . . . an actual _Reaper_."

" **Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what you choose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are."**

"How is that possible?" I asked. "The Protheans were wiped out fifty thousand years ago. The cycle of extinctions goes back for millions of years at least."

" **Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation. An accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal: the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."**

Rylee shook her head, her jaw set in determination. "I don't know how you defeated the Protheans, but you won't defeat us. There's an entire galaxy of races, united and ready to face you."

We can't even convince the Council that the Reapers exist. This galaxy won't unite for shit.

" **Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken."**

"Cycle? What cycle?" asked Wrex.

" **The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations evolve, rise, advance . . . and at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind, as many others have found them across the eons."**

"How long has this been going on?" I asked.

" **Since before any of your suns burned in space. The galaxy has rotated many times about its hub since the cycle began. It will not end until the last stars have guttered into darkness."**

"Goddess. _Billions_ of years?" Liara gasped

"I don't understand. Why would you construct the mass relays, then leave them for someone else to find?" Garrus inquired.

" **Like all those who came before, your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays: our technology. By using it, your society commits itself to develop along the paths we desire. In this way we impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it."**

"They're _harvesting_ us," I whispered, shaking in horror. "Letting us advance to a certain level, then taking what they need and destroying the rest. We're just expendables to them, we're the loose ends they need to tie up."

Even if we were to fight the Reapers, there's no way we could win. They're too powerful. They took everything that the Protheans had and all it did was piss them off. What chance do we have against a force like that?

My dread must have been picked up on by Liara, since she placed a steadying hand on my shoulder, but continued to face _Sovereign_. "Where are the rest of the Reapers? Are you the last of your kind?"

" **We are legion. The time of our return is at hand. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."**

"Where did you come from? Who built you?"

" **We have no beginning. We will have no end. We are infinite. A billion years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure."**

" _Why?"_ demanded Shepard, stepping forward until she was face-to-face with the hologram. "What do you want from us? What could you possibly have to gain?"

" **My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation, independent, free of all weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence. We want nothing from you. We need nothing from you. You are merely dust in a cosmic wind, caught up in our eternal purpose."**

"You're not even alive," Rylee said. "Not really. Just a machine. . . and machines can be broken!"

" **Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over."**

As soon as the transmission was over, I received a message from joker that Sovereign had just made a beeline towards Virmire and it was only 20 minutes out. We must hurry. If I'm going to get Kaidan and Kirrahe safely off the planet we need to get our asses in gear.

We fought through another army of geth in between us and the control for the AA guns on our side. We managed to destroy all of them with relative ease, in comparison to the other battles we had gone through today. The drop off location was clear, which enabled Joker to land the Normandy.

Ashley and a few of the salarians that Dr Chakwas had patched up helped Rylee carry the bomb off the Normandy. The thing was huge, and with what little I know about nuclear physics, even I could tell it could destroy this entire facility.

As soon as the bomb was off the ship, Joker went to Ashley and Kirrahe's agreed rendezvous point.

"Bomb is in position, Commander. We're all set here . . ."

"Commander, can you read me?" Kaidan said into my earpiece.

"The nuke is almost ready, get your ass over here now!"

"No can do, Nate. We've got a new wave of geth, pinning us down on the AA tower. We're taking heavy casualties. We'll never make it to the rendezvous point in time."

"Shit!"

"Nate, arming this nuke is going to take a couple of minutes. Get Kaidan and come back here."

I didn't have time to think this through so I went with Rylee's suggestion and took the whole squad with me. If we're going to rescue Kaidan from the army of geth, it's going to take everything we've got and more, so I left Rylee with a few Alliance personnel just in case.

As soon as we reached the path to the AA Tower, we encountered heavy geth resistance. At this point we were all exhausted but we knew we had to carry on. I used my biotic charge for what felt like the millionth time, to destroy the geth, and used my shotgun to clear the one side of the path, with assistance from Garrus' sniper. Liara and Wrex handled the other side.

We raced upstairs to the AA Tower when a Geth dropship flew right over us and towards Rylee's location.

"Nate, there's geth pouring out all over the bomb site," Rylee yelled.

"Can you hold them off?" it wasn't a question, so much as a hope.

"There's too many. I don't think I can hold out until you get here." she shouted "I'm activating the bomb."

"Are you crazy. What the fuck are you thinking?" I demanded.

"I'm just making sure this bomb goes off, no matter what." She declared. "It's done, Nate. Go get Kaidan and get the hell out of here."

"Like hell he's going to do that. Go get Rylee, I have Salarians backing me up," Kaidan pleaded.

"You won't make it if Nate doesn't get to you."

"And you will definitely die if he doesn't get to you and fast."

"Quiet this is my decision!"

Every second I wait here, one of them could die. I can't spend too much time thinking this through. God I wish I could slow down time to a crawl so I could weigh out my decision. Or even better, slow it down so that I could save them both…

Shit.

One of them is going to die today and there's nothing I can do about it. Just like Akuze.

Shit that's 2 seconds. I can only waste at best another 5 on this decision.

Come on brain think.

 **Which one of them has to die?**

 _Which one gets to live?_

 **Which one gets survivors guilt?**

 _Which one sees their family again?_

 ** _Which one survives?_**

I know who I'm going to save. Neither one of them is going to be happy about my decision.

"Joker, head to the bombsite, get us out of here," I gritted through my teeth.

"Nate, NO! Head to-"

"Rylee please. It's been an honour serving with you. All of you."

"Kaidan…I."

"It's alright Nate. Goodbye."

Those were the last words I heard from Kaidan Alenko, before he cut the transmission from his suit. We didn't have time to think about my decision.

"Follow me!" I ordered before using my biotic charge to head straight to the entrance. I need to reach Rylee before the Geth get to her. I just hope I'm not too late. When the gate opened, one of my worst fears had come to fruition.

Saren Arterius was holding Rylee in the air, by her head ready to crush it with his biotics, whilst his army of geth just stand there and watch.

"You're going to DIE!" I roared before starting my long-awaited fight with Saren was about to get underway…

When my over usage of my biotic amp finally caught up to me. My head was screaming with pain and I collapsed to my knees. The pain quickly spread throughout my body and I found myself mostly paralysed. That's what I get for removing the limiter on my amp. I guess they put it there for a reason, other than being a pain in the ass when I'm in a tight spot.

My pain distracted Saren long enough for Rylee to poke him in the eye and find cover near me.

"Nate, are you alright?"

I was in too much pain to even speak so I shook my head, and even that took a lot of effort. Never doing this again. I can't let a situation where I'm dragging my team backwards happen again. Hopefully this is temporary.

"This has been an impressive diversion, Anderson. My geth were utterly convinced the salarians were the real threat. Of course, it's all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what I've accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake."

Shepard ducked back behind our cover, glancing at me, worried Saren might approach while I'm vulnerable. "So make me understand," she called back. "What could possibly justify what you've done?"

"Ask your Commander, he's seen the vision from the beacons. Him of all people should understand what the Reapers are capable of. _They cannot be stopped_. There's no point in revolt. If we cling to petty ideals and visions of freedom, we will simply die. Every last one of us, like insects in the heart of a star. The Protheans reached heights our civilizations can only dream of. They tried to fight, and the Reapers utterly destroyed them. Trillions dead. But what if they had bowed before the inevitable, found a way to reach a compromise with the Reapers? They might still be alive today. Isn't submission preferable to the extinction of all life everywhere?"

"Saren, you're a fool if you think the Reapers have any interest in letting us live. We're _nothing_ to them."

Saren appeared amused at Rylee's response, as if she had told him a joke. "Now you see why I never brought this to the Council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We deny the truth even when our very lives are at stake. We will fight even when we know we cannot win. But if we work with the Reapers – if we make ourselves _useful_ to them – think how many lives might be saved! Once I understood this, I became _Sovereign_ 's partner, its agent in the wider galaxy. I was aware of the dangers. I had hoped this facility could protect me."

I found the will to ignore the pain I was feeling and shouted. "You sound like a little bitch. You're afraid that Daddy's going to come back and whip you into submission."

"I've studied the effects of indoctrination. The more control _Sovereign_ imposes, the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace. _Sovereign_ needs me to find the Conduit. My mind is still my own… for now. The transformation from ally to servant is subtle, I will not allow it to happen to me."

"It's happened already!" shouted Rylee. "You're already indoctrinated and you don't even know it. You're already under its power!"

"No! _Sovereign_ needs me!" he roared defiantly "If I can find the Conduit, I've been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. That's my only hope."

"It's _not_ your only hope. Together we can stop _Sovereign_. We don't have to submit to the Reapers. We can find a way to beat them!" Rylee pleaded. No… she can't be trying to get him to join our side could she, even after all he's done.

"I no longer believe that, Shepard. I've seen the vision of the beacons. I've spoken to _Sovereign_ at length. I've done the same research you and your allies have done. The Reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join them. To submit to them, if need be."

Rylee stood and stormed up to confront Saren directly. "You're a coward!" she spat

"What?"

"You were a Spectre. You were sworn to defend the galaxy. Then you broke that vow to save yourself."

"I'm not doing this for myself! Don't you see? _Sovereign_ will succeed. The Reapers will return. It is inevitable. This is the only way _any of us_ can survive!" Saren shook his head in disgust.

"LIVE ON YOUR KNEEES OR DIE ON YOUR FEET!" Rylee shouted. Those were the choices that Rylee offered Saren. Very powerful words to consider.

Saren looked at her with contempt at first. But then something happened, I'm not too good at reading Turian facial expressions, but I could swear his face softened. He looked confused and befuddled, whether at her bravery or her brazenness.

Is she getting through to him?

After a few seconds of confusion, his face contorted and he began to shake his head vehemently, "You…you would undo my work. You would lead the galaxy into pointless rebellion. You would doom our civilization to complete annihilation. For that you must die!"

"NO!" I yelled and tried to get out of my cover. But I couldn't move my body. Fuck my amp!

All I could do was watch as Rylee dispensed rounds into Saren's chest and watch in horror as they bounced off. What kind of armour did Sovereign hook Saren up with?

Saren biotically threw Rylee into a rock, causing a sickening impact. He then proceeded to throw her into another one. And another one. And another one. Each time the screams got just a little quieter. Until you couldn't hear a peep from her.

No, she can't be dead, not her. Anyone but Rylee. She's the Alliance's best hope for the future. She is Hannah's only remaining child. She's too important to the crew. She is my closest friend. She can't be gone.

Now both her and Kaidan are going to die…all because of my decision to save Rylee.

Saren picked her up again, only this time it was by her head. He built up biotic power into his other hand, ready to crush her skull with one punch. Just to make sure she was dead.

I don't care how much pain you're in body. Just move! Get your ass in gear and stop this lunatic before he kills your best friend. Now get up. But for all my effort I received no reward. I just couldn't move from my position.

The sound of a sniper round filled the air and it forced Saren to drop Rylee's lifeless body to the ground. When I looked it up it was Garrus, "Get away from her, you sick bastard!" My squad had finally caught up to me.

Wrex charged at Saren immediately but quickly found the geth had become active again, forcing him to find cover. Saren went to his glider and he evacuated the area, leaving us to deal with his geth.

To make matters worse, the alarm for the bomb, just went off. "SHIT!"

So we have 2 minutes before the bomb goes off. We need to get out of here. I managed to get some control over my arms again and tapped my headpiece.

"Joker get your ass here pronto, I don't care if it's crawling with Geth. Wrex grab Rylee, and the second the Normandy arrives I want you to make a beeline for the ship and…"

Before I could finish giving my order I saw a grenade land a few meters away from me and realised I'm screwed. So, I did the only thing I knew I could do, I pressed my shield generator and hoped it would be up quick enough to protect me from the blast.

And then there was…

Nothing.


	22. Why should we trust you?

The mood aboard the ship has been particularly sombre since we left Virmire. Garrus had had to carry Nate's body onto the ship and Wrex did the same with Rylee, whilst Tali and I had to provide cover. Thankfully Ashley was there at the entrance providing even more cover for our escape. We managed to board the ship with 45 seconds to go before the explosion of the bomb.

As soon as we were aboard the ship we sped off out of the atmosphere. But before we left the strangest thing occurred. A child appeared from the lift, the same child we rescued on the Citadel. I was the only one who noticed his presence since everyone else was focused on inspecting Nate and Rylee for signs of life.

I turned to face Nate, but when I turned back around the child was gone. I'll deal with that later, for now I need to help.

The jolt of Joker suddenly moving the ship sent us all into a nearby wall. Whilst I was plastered against the wall I heard a very loud bang. The sound clearly didn't come from this room, it sounded to distant. It took me a few seconds to connect the dots, but when I did, I instantly regretted it.

Kaidan Alenko is dead.

That bomb confirmed something I had known for a while, but that didn't make the pain hurt any less. Kaidan was one of the few aboard the ship who trusted me early on. I wouldn't have stayed for long had it not been for him and Rylee, and if I don't get Rylee to Dr Chakwas soon, she'll join him.

"We need to geth these two to the Med-Bay!" I exclaimed as soon as we managed to get a hold over ourselves. "Joker warn Dr Chakwas," I demanded.

Garrus grabbed Rylee and Wrex, Nate. We got them into the elevator and waited what was probably an eternity for it to reach the crew deck. The first thing that needs to be upgraded about this ship is the lift. It's the only thing that makes seeing Tali problematic, and more importantly it's what could get these two killed.

The moment we got into the med-bay the doctor ordered everyone apart from me and her assistant to leave so she could help the two of them. I followed most of her instructions with ease, my knowledge of anatomy and biology enabled me to be useful, but I couldn't understand the reasons behind her orders.

After 10 minutes of constant instruction and action, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"The Commander is going to be fine, he was knocked out by the blast. The shield he managed to raise saved his life. Lieutenant Shepard on the other hand wasn't quite as lucky, it's a miracle that none of her bones were broken given the extent of the bruising and the cuts. I applied medi-gel on her wounds to prevent infection and aid healing. She has badly bruised ribs, which should make breathing difficult for a few weeks. I can't clear her for a long time, it's too early to say how long."

She then asked for help lifting Nathan, so we helped him into a scanner of some kind. An image

"Hmm, that's problematic," she frowned

"What's the matter with Nathan?"

"The damage he received from the blast wasn't too bad. His main problem was his amp."

"Amp?" I understand it's a device that humans and other aliens use to give them better control over their biotics, but why should that be a problem.

"Biotic implants in humans give them better control, and they can also increase their power output. The amps are fitted with a limiter to prevent you from pushing yourself too far. The Commander foolishly decided to get it removed, probably by a doctor who works for his Syndicate. His nervous system is repairing itself, meaning the damage wasn't extensive. But we need to get a limiter added to his implant."

"Are there any risks to adding the limiter."

"If I slip up then it's entirely possible that he may become a drooling simpleton… or I could paralyse him, render him blind, deaf, unable to remember his name, lose basic motor functions... the possibilities are vast."

I felt my heart tighten as she listed the potential risks of the surgery. Almost losing him on Virmire was quite possibly the most frightening few minutes of my life. I've never been in love before, I mean I've read about it but this level of attachment was unexpected. When the blast hit him, I lost all control, I released a shockwave so powerful that it severely cracked the rock that the geth, who threw the grenade, was using for cover. I even went as far as demanding Garrus carry Nate to the Normandy.

"Maybe we should just leave it the way it is."

"No can-do I'm afraid, the results of him continuing like this are much worse. He got incredibly lucky this time. Using his biotics beyond the limit could have caused a brain haemorrhage, killing him in battle. This needs to be done for his own good."

"Doctor I believe this follows that old human idiom you taught me. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't."

"Have some faith in my Liara, Nate will be fine under my care. It's fortunate that we have the equipment aboard the ship. Dr Chase, can you prep Commander for surgery. This time Liara I'm going to need you to leave this area."

"That's fine Doctor, I think I'll go and rest."

I left the medical area and entered the mess. I had not noticed that most of the crew had gathered outside of the med-bay. All had the same concerned look on their faces, worried that their CO and his second in command were both in danger. Garrus stepped forward.

"What did the Doctor have to say?" he asked.

"Lt. Shepard is going to be fine. However, she suffered a lot of injuries and it's likely she won't be cleared to combat for a few weeks. As for Commander Anderson… time will tell."

"What do you mean time will tell?" Bakari asked.

"Is he in critical condition?" Emmerson said.

"Is he going to wake up?" Barret wondered.

"What do we tell the Alliance?" Pakti asked.

"What do we tell the Council?" Lowe demanded.

A flurry of question were all thrown in my direction and I had no idea how to respond. They all had questions they wanted, no, demanded to be answered and I do not know what to say to them. I don't know what to tell them.

"That's enough!" Garrus shouted, thereby gaining the attention of the crewmates that were gathered.

"We need to get focused, just because Anderson is out of commission, it doesn't mean this mission is too. We need to push forward and keep this ship running. Because **when** Nate wakes up, he's going to want the ship in top condition, and he's going to want to know that we can take care of ourselves when he's not around! So let's just keep doing our jobs, and trust Dr Chakwas to do hers."

"Who put you in charge? What makes you think we'll follow a Turians orders, it's one of yours that caused all of this. It was one of you that killed Lt Alenko!" Tanaka spat.

Oh no, I didn't think it would come to this. Tanaka was, according to Nathan, one of the older generation. He was there during the First Contact War, and his hatred of Turians was deep.

"This is what happens when we do aliens bidding. We listen to the Council and it's our own that get killed. Then the Council will take our sacrifice for granted, and use it to discredit us. So answer me this question aliens." He said, looking at Wrex, Garrus, Tali and I. "Just why should we trust you?"

His tone seemed to resonate with some of the crew, as shown by their approving nods and grunts.

Dammit Nathan, I was afraid that something like this would happen eventually. You're anti-Council rhetoric is coming back to bite you, and it could potentially be what creates a wedge between the humans and the us.

I can't stand by and let this damage us. We have grown too close and too focused for us to falter now.

"Because we are all risking our lives for yours and our own individual species. We go out there, planet after planet, battlefield after battlefield. Fighting for each and every life that's out there in the galaxy," Garrus began.

"The reapers are a threat to all life in existence. They do not care whether we are human or not, they will kill us all. That is what Sovereign said. We have all grown to care about this crew and we are willing to die for you, regardless of whether you appreciate this or not," I continued.

"I don't care about your validation or you appreciation and I don't give a shit what the Council has to say. They're a bunch of pyjack shitslingers." Wrex added.

"We don't just help in battle. We have all gotten to know and care about you through being a part of the crew. The engineering department has become like family to me. We all interact with the rest of the crew as much as we can and we have given our all to this mission."

"But not enough to save Lt. Alenko," Tanaka spat.

"Now that's enough. Tanaka, these aliens you're so angry at have done just as much for this mission, if not more than most of us aboard this ship. We wouldn't be where we are without Wrex's experience, Tali's tech skills, Liara's knowledge and Garrus' tactical ability. Take it from me, I have gone into battle with them and I would gladly put my life in any of their hands. They are the best soldiers I've ever had the pleasure of fighting alongside with. Don't you dare question their commitment."

"You have fed into Council propaganda **_Chief_** Williams," he said putting extra emphasis on her rank. "I stand for the Alliance and humanity, and I know in my heart that we don't need their kind to find Saren. We can just take the best and brightest of the Alliance like Anderson and Shepard, and find the son of a bitch!" he roared

He seems to be getting more and more support from the crew, they were getting more and more vocal. The way he's whipped them into a frenzy, I fear they may completely turn against us.

Tanaka is using Kaidan's death to rationalise his hatred of aliens. The crew have all improved in terms of racial tolerance, but the emotions they feel because of Kaidan's death could cause them to revert.

"This isn't what we need right now. I understand that the loss of Kaidan has us all reeling, but we cannot allow his death to be used to Saren's advantage. Kaidan died so that we could deal a critical blow to Saren. Because of his sacrifice Saren doesn't have a Krogan army."

"Why didn't you save him!"

"There was a choice to be made. We were in a position where we could only save either Lt. Alenko or Lt. Shepard. Cmdr. Anderson chose to save Shepard. Kaidan pushed the Commander to save Rylee. He sacrificed himself so that Rylee, the crew and the whole galaxy could have a chance to live. We cannot pervert his sacrifice by letting the pain we all feel drive a wedge between us. We need to come together and be there for one another. We need to focus on the task at hand and we will stop Saren. If not for the mission, ourselves or even the galaxy. Then let's stop Saren for Kaidan."

I could see the approving smile from Wrex, Garrus, Ashley and other crewmates, whilst there were nods from Tali and others. The majority seemed to be on my side, however that minority may prove problematic in the future.

"T'Soni is right," Pressly called out from the staircase.

"Charles…" Tanaka began

"Stop right there Tanaka. I heard the entire exchange and Vakarian is right too."

Tanaka's disbelief was evident. Pressly was one of the older guard but his disdain for aliens was very mild in comparison to Tanaka.

"I happened to be upstairs minding my business, _doing my job_. When I realised that there were only a handful of us upstairs," he began, drawing sheepish looks on the crewman's faces.

"What the hell are you all doing here!? Don't you have stations to be manning and jobs to be doing. Last I checked this is a military frigate. Get your asses in gear and that is an order from the **_XO_** ," he said putting emphasis on his rank, whilst facing Tanaka.

The crowd began dispersing at Pressly's orders. A queue formed at the lift for people waiting to return to engineering and many either went upstairs or back to the crew quarters. In the end, only the combat crew and Pressly remained.

"Sorry about Raymond. He lost his sister during the First Contact War. Turians tortured her for information."

"Goddess, that's terrible. But that doesn't excuse what he did here, he tried to use Kaidan's death to further his anti-alien agenda," I replied.

"It probably would've worked if it weren't for you Doctor. Your speech is what placated the group. I wanted to see what you guys really felt about the mission and what you thought of the crew. You proved to me that Anderson was right to put his trust in Nate, and he was right to trust you guys."

"Thank you Pressly," I replied.

"That idiot Tanaka is going to keep going, you realise that right?" Wrex questioned.

"Let's leave that to Commander Anderson. When he finds out about what Tanaka did, I think he's going to wish that you killed him Wrex," Ashley said.

"The lot of you get some rest, what happened on Virmire was clearly exhausting. Get some sleep and let us take care of the ship."

We all wordlessly followed his orders and returned to our respective quarters. I couldn't return to the med-bay since Dr Chakwas still had it locked down

* * *

 **Location:** **Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel Wards**

It was a regular morning in the wards. It wasn't too hot or too cold, but it was just average. The smell of alcohol was thick in the artificial air and the after effects of a night out in the wards was in full view. Shattered bottles littered the ground, as did mangled cans and dried blood. Puddles of vomit littered the ground as well as the unmistakable smell of piss, making this a very unbecoming location for a meeting.

It might be why the potential recruit chose this location, to try and get me out of my comfort zone. Little did he know I have been in far worse places than this.

Unfortunately for the face of the Syndicate, the prospective recruit just wasn't going to budge.

"I'm sorry that our offer isn't tempting enough to persuade you, Mr Taylor," Helena said, as they both stood up from the bench.

"The Alliance may not be perfect, but at least they have a moral compass. I can't work for a mercenary company."

"If you could be patient, you could speak to one of our benefactors, I'm certain he could change your mind," I assured. It wasn't public knowledge that Nathan Anderson was the one behind the Syndicate, so I wasn't willing to let people know willy-nilly.

"What, you think some rich snob who's never fought a day in his life, and thinks you can solve any problems by throwing money at it is going to make a better case than you," he sneered.

"You couldn't be more wrong about him, or has someone else made you an even better offer, hm… Cerberus perhaps?"

"We're done here," he snarled before walking away into the Wards.

I couldn't help but sigh at the loss of Jacob Taylor, he was highly recommended and a tremendous soldier. He could have proved useful to the Syndicate and potentially the fight against Saren.

Working under Anderson wasn't as difficult as I had initially thought. At first, I had detested the thought of being forced to work under anyone and immediately started planning to kill him.

However, that all changed after two events. The first of which was the acquisition of RED Security and his reasons for doing so. They seemed genuine and true. It showed a surprising amount of compassion from the Butcher of Torfan and former 10th Street RED. He had me buy out shops and buildings and asked that I had them renovated. He wanted to give the kids something else to do outside of being in a gang.

At first I thought he was foolish, but in the brief period that he's enabled kids from Earth to come to Amaranthine to receive training to become security guards, we have had 600 recruits. It's forced me to buy up other small security firms across the galaxy just to accommodate. Seeing the change, he's made in their lives has been amazing, especially the one time he made an appearance. The way those young men and women looked at him, worshipping him and hanging on his every word, proved to me that he has done the right thing.

The second was when he forwarded me the information on Saren, the geth and Sovereign and it was frightening. I was very sceptical at first, but when you connect the dots, it all made sense. It was incredibly outlandish, but it made more sense than any other alternative. It helped me understand why he's so obsessed with this mission. He's scared of what could happen if he fails.

"I hear you have a vacancy," an adult male said from the shadows.

"Mr Rivera, what are you doing eavesdropping on my conversation."

"Skip this little game you love playing and let's cut to the chase."

I raised my eyebrow in surprise. He had been staying in his room on the Citadel, going to the gym and nothing else. According to his extranet history, he spent most of his time either catching up on current events, reading about the Normandy crew, researching TIM, or perhaps the most depressing of all. Stalking his wife on social media and looking at what his kids look like now.

"OK."

"I want in."

"Not possible, Nathan would never allow it."

"I'm not asking Nate, I'm asking you. Nate is afraid that I'm old and frail, once he sees that I'm in top condition he won't care."

"That may have been the Nate you knew, but he has changed since then."

"So have I… I need to do this, I need to do something important again. I can't go back to the Alliance, I can't trust anyone there. But I do trust Nate. If what I remember is true, he always wants to do the right thing, he sometimes goes about doing it the wrong way. Could explain this mob he's created."

I chose to bite my tongue at the last part of this sentence. He didn't create this Syndicate, he took it. I made it as big as what it is now. The other two were idiots who happened to get drunk and fall in line with my plans, albeit temporarily.

"Just because you think you need to join, it doesn't mean you should… Go to Huerta Memorial and seek help Manuel, I think that's what you need most right now."

He scrunched his nose slightly and narrowed his eyes, aiming daggers in Helen direction. Despite his facial expression, his body language conveyed a man who was defeated and near the end of his rope.

"What I need is for people to stop telling me what's best for me. I may have been gone for 9 years, I didn't become a 9-year old," he said so quietly that I could barely hear him speak.

Letting him the fold would be a huge mistake. It wouldn't help his situation, in fact the things we would have him do could potentially push him off the deep end.

"I can't let you join but I can help you. Here are some coordinates for a planet called Amaranthine. We need former military personnel. You will serve as an instructor to potential recruits."

"What?"

"Commander Anderson had it set up so that former gang members can have something to do other than kill one another. You would be shaping a lot of people's lives and changing them for the better, I think that would qualify as important, don't you?" I said after sending the coordinates to his omni-tool.

I didn't wait for his reply and walked away with these parting words. "You have 8 days to reply. Make the right choice."

* * *

 **Location:** **SSV Normandy SR-1**

Once the crowd dispersed I opted to go into Nathan's quarters to rest. No one would disturb me, and the only person who would come in, is the person I want to see most. I opened the door, expecting to see a clean, tidy military room. Instead what I found was an absolute mess. Datapads and papers littered his desk and the floor. Shirts and bottoms were hanging from his wardrobe, bedpost desk chair and food packaging all over the place. No wonder he spends so much time touring the ship, his room is a sty.

I shook my head and immediately began to tidy up. I grabbed a big empty bag and threw all his dirty clothes into it, and filled another with his rubbish. The entire time I felt annoyed, I am not his housekeeper. So as soon as he wakes up, we are going to have a long talk about his room.

"Nice speech by the way, very moving," I heard an unfamiliar voice praise. Instinctively I called forth my biotics and I was ready to attack. When I turned around I saw no one.

"Don't attack, I'm not going to attack you," the voice declared, before the person walked out of Nathan's wardrobe.

It was the boy we rescued back on the Citadel, the same one I spotted when we returned from Virmire. How did he get aboard the ship?

"Kai, was it?"

"Yes, and your name is Liara," he replied as if it was obvious. "Now are we done stating the obvious," he stated. He's much ruder than I remember.

"What are you doing here?" I inquired.

"Won wasn't too happy with Commander Anderson leaving me on the Citadel so he asked me to get back on the ship."

"And how did you do that?"

"I walked," he sneered. "Are you sure you're a doctor?"

I opted to ignore the remark and keep questioning him, "This is a SPECTRE's ship and Nate had the doors locked as soon as the last crewman was aboard. I was with him and I never saw you once."

"Then maybe I got on before the two of you, ever thought of that."

This child is starting to aggravate me, his mocking tone and his sneering do him no credit. "What was your next step, you've been aboard for over three days without revealing yourself. Why now?"

"I was told to wait until the time was right to reveal myself, now's the best that I could think of."

"Couldn't you have waited for Nate to wake up?"

"Do I have to do all of the thinking myself," he rolled his eyes.

"You are an incredibly challenging child, you realise that don't you," I groaned.

"Tell me something I don't know"

"My window of opportunity is rapidly closing so I need to act now."

"You are not being very clear."

"And you aren't letting me finish… ha that's what she said," he countered before chuckling to himself.

I had to tilt my head and think about the joke, it's probably a human idiom. Likely a childish one. "How old are you?"

"10 wait no… 12," he corrected himself. "Don't make fun of me lady, I've probably had sex with more people than you could count," he jabbed. It was clearly a lie but I couldn't help but smile at his expense.

"Okay, fine can you can finish your explanation."

"Yes… what was I saying…oh yeah. I heard whoever's in charge now say that this ship is going to head towards Earth. That is both very good and very bad."

He looked at me expecting me to ask him a question but I wasn't going to be baited by him so I bit my tongue. He scowled a little, annoyed I wasn't playing his little game.

"'Why is that very good and very bad?'" he said in a high-pitched voice "Why I'm glad you asked Liara," he said whilst nodding towards me.

The little show managed to make me giggle "It's very good because the relay network to Novaria is identical to Earth up until you reach the Exodus Cluster. At that point I need you to convince whoever is in charge at that time to go to Novaria, instead of Earth."

I gave him a gesture that implied 'carry on'. "Novaria is very time sensitive. Saren has already sent his people there to collect what he needs and if you hadn't gone to Virmire, you would have intercepted them."

"Don't remind me of that cursed planet!" I shouted, causing Kai to back down.

"I'm sorry, I know you lost someone there… I didn't mean to…" his cockiness and disdain were gone, and instead I saw a more regretful, compassionate boy in front of me.

"Forget about it, can you continue with your explanation."

"Apparently there is an informant on Novaria. Saren has managed to finally find them and smart money says he'll kill them to prevent you guys from getting the same info."

"And just why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm here. If what was happening on Novaria wasn't important I wouldn't have blown my cover. I would've waited for you people to return from Virmire. Hell I was going to do that before Won ordered me to get on the ship. The plan was for you guys to take me to Novaria, then go to Virmire. Some plan that was, Won," he mocked.

"Your cover?"

"That's something I can't answer. We are going to reach the Exodus Cluster in 12 hours. So, I need you to convince Nate to go to Novaria not Earth."

"What if Nate isn't awake by then?"

"That's where I come in," he said before reaching into his pocket and taking out what appeared to be a bean.

"What's this?" I said taking the bean from his hand.

"It's a drug that the Magi developed. Much better than medi-gel but much more dangerous if overused. It will heal him completely, it's what you people call a miracle drug."

"Am I meant to take your word on it?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that," he uttered before jamming something sharp into my stomach.

I looked down and saw my blood falling onto the floor, painting it blue. I collapsed to the ground applying pressure to the stab wound.

"You should have just taken my word for it otherwise the demonstration wouldn't have been necessary."

I could hardly breathe, let alone move. It felt like my insides were being dragged out of my belly. I felt the puncture, but I didn't feel anything else until I was on the ground. The knife it feels hot, its burning in fact. It's scorching my insides and I'm in too much pain to even scream.

That was before he took the knife out of my stomach and allowed the blood to flood on to the floor. The pain of a knife going in is nothing compared to that of one coming out.

"Take the drug," he instructed.

I didn't have much of a choice at that point, if he was willing to stab me, then he's willing to let me bleed out on the floor. I opened my mouth and let him pop the bean into my mouth. I chewed the bland bean for a few seconds before swallowing it.

Miraculously, the boy was right. After a few seconds, I couldn't even feel the pain of the knife he had removed. My breathing was perfectly fine and I felt as I did before. Actually, I felt even better than I felt before. I'm not tired from the mission anymore and I feel like I could comfortably go into another battle and win.

I grabbed the boy with my biotics and threw him against the wall. "Are you out of your mind. What if the drug didn't work on asari? What if I was allergic to what was in it? You almost killed me!"

After all the battles, the skirmishes and the trauma I've been through over the past few months, the closest I came to death was at the hands of this child. The damage to my pride is more potent than that stab wound.

"In my defence… it worked," he could feel the pressure of my biotics increase, evidence by his facial expression.

"That's your only rebuttal. It worked," I seethed before applying even more pressure, causing him to scream.

It was his scream that brought me back to sanity. Goddess, I'm about to kill a child.

"Alright I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have gone for something so fatal."

I let him fall to the ground without bracing him. To his credit, he stood up gingerly and he didn't appear angry at me for what I had done. In fact, he appears to have more respect for what I did than anything.

"I guess that makes us sort of even."

I was too in awe of my newfound stamina and endurance to be hung up on what he did. The Magi truly have a miracle drug on their hands, it not only stopped the bleeding, but healed the wound completely. I don't feel like anything is wrong with my insides, but I should go see Dr Chakwas regardless

If what Kai said is true, then it's application in medicine is immeasurable. They possess the cure for soldiers who suffer from fatal injuries, anyone who have been the victims of assault or accidents. This is amazing.

"Give it to Nate in 6 hours, I don't want anyone thinking anything suspicious is going on."

"This is a surprisingly well thought out plan for a 12-year-old."

"Thank the Magi for that one. They trained me to be this way. If you think I'm impressive you should see what the Hanar are like. The things they teach their drell are out of this world"

"So, what now?"

"I'm going to have to reveal myself. It'll give Nate another reason to go to Novaria over Earth. And I've been getting bored of sneaking around. At least now I can talk to people outside of radio communication with that prick, Won."

* * *

 **Hi thanks for reading it up to this point. There's not much left in this story and I'm hoping to have it finished within the next few months.**

 **I really want to know peoples opinions on Kai and Won so if you could tell me I'd really appreciate it.**


	23. For Kaidan Alenko!

Consciousness was coming to me, slowly but surely. It required far more effort than I'd have liked for me to sit up on the bed, but I still managed to do so. I tried to rub the tiredness out of my eyes but to no avail, I was still very tired.

I'm in the medbay I know that for sure, however I don't know how I ended up here, but that obviously meant that I survived the bomb blast on Virmire.

"Look who's finally awake. How are you feeling Commander?" Dr Chakwas asked.

"I feel like we've had this conversation before." I smiled gently at her.

"Humour me."

"I feel kind of rough, but nothing I can't walk off," I grunted. I braced myself against the bed before standing up.

"Where's Rylee?"

"Lt. Shepard woke up 4 hours ago, and surprisingly, most of her injuries have healed… almost completely."

"You don't sound too happy about that Doctor."

"It doesn't make any sense, how she is up and about. She suffered very extensive injuries, that should've left her bedridden and out of commission for months. But she recovered in less than 10 hours. I tested her extensively to be sure and I found she is almost completely fine. It's astonishing."

I observed Karin and attempted to read her body language. The most overriding expression I'm sensing is confusion. Her brows were furrowed and she moved her hands absent mindedly, and not with the usual grace she possesses.

"Is she cleared for combat?"

She looked at me sternly for a moment and sighed. "All of my tests show that she's combat ready, but my instincts as a Doctor say leave her aboard and have her do some rehab. Just for my peace of mind."

"We need Rylee out there with us… especially after Kaidan."

"She hasn't spoken about it. She said she'll speak to you about it and no one else."

"She probably holds me responsible for it. I don't really blame her. I chose to let him die."

"No you chose to let Rylee live. Commander… Liara explained your predicament to me and I truly sympathise with you. But one thing you cannot do is allow Rylee to hate you."

I turned and cocked an eyebrow in her direction. Does she know how to read minds now?

Rylee needs someone to direct her anger at. She needs an outlet for her rage and I'm willing to let her take it out on me. It's my fault that someone on my crew has died on this fucking mission.

"What would you have me do Doctor. It's my fault he's dead."

"No, it's not," she replied sternly. Her confusion melted instantly and her grace and strength were on full display.

"It's Saren's fault that Kaidan is dead. Saren is the one who aligned himself with Sovereign. Saren is the one who was creating the Krogan army. He put the galaxy in danger and you did everything within your power to save it. The geth forced you to make the decision and unfortunately Kaidan lost his life but none of that falls on your shoulders. So, don't let it weigh you down."

What she's saying does make sense, but I'm not sure if it's because I believe her or because I want to believe her. I was backed into a corner and forced to make a decision knowing well and good that someone was going to die.

"You're making sense right now, but I just can't believe you. It just feels like it's all my fault."

"No it's not Commander. Don't give in to your emotion. The crew needs you to be strong now. And Rylee will need you to be there for her to deal with the loss. You're her closest friend and if you let her hate you she is going to feel alone and in pain."

That's the burden of leadership in my field. This will get easier over time, but for now it's too raw.

"Thanks for telling me that Doctor… I needed that."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

 _[Liara]_

Once Nate had left the room I entered.

"Thank you for telling him that Doctor."

"I still believe he would have preferred to hear that coming from you, Liara."

"Yes, but it was best he heard it from someone else. He knows I want him to be happy and he might have dismissed it as me telling him what he wants to hear. He knows you will tell him exactly what you think because it's what you believe."

"Even if that's the case. I think now is the time to speak to him, just in case I wasn't enough."

I nodded curtly and went after him. Knowing Nate, he's probably gone to his quarters. He likely doesn't want the crew to see him as confused as he currently is.

At least my decision with the drug paid off. If what Kai has told me about Novaria is true, then we couldn't afford for Nate to be out of commission for any longer.

. _~o~o~o~o~o~_

 _"Kai, how much more of that drug do you have, besides this one you just handed?"_

 _"None," he shrugged._

 _"Why do you only have two?"_

 _"Why do I even need one to begin with? I'm not fighting or shooting anyone. Won gave it to me when he told me to sneak aboard. He said something about you guys needing it in case Virmire didn't go as planned."_

 _"But I need to give Rylee one too. We need her too, if we want to complete this mission."_

 _"I'm sorry, but I was told that Nate was the priority. I've given you the drug, it's up to you what to do with it. You know the squad better than me, so you can make the right choice."_

 _~o~o~o~o~o~_

I'm grateful I managed to get him some of the drug too. I feared that the section I had given him wouldn't work as effectively. I had to give Rylee a larger portion since she was in worse condition. It seems that I was very fortunate.

"Nate?"

"Come on in"

When I entered he was leaning against the wall. He looked relieved to see me, as though he thought I was the one in danger. The bruises on his arm were brutal but it's good to know that the medi-gel dealt with the cuts. His arm was almost as it was before the mission even began.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not as bad as I was before. Arms a little banged up but nothing I can't deal with. To be perfectly honest I was worried when I didn't see you in the medbay."

"Sorry about that. I just wanted to be alone with you after you woke up. Kaidan's death must be taking a toll."

He fell back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He patted the spot beside him and patted it, inviting me to join him. I laid beside him, as he continued staring at the ceiling pensively.

"You'd think I'd be numb to it now given my track record. Slavery, Akuze, Zay, Jenkins, the list goes on. People around me have been dying as long as I could remember. So why does Kaidan's death hurt so damn much. It's just another death… isn't it."

"Do you want me to tell you what I think?"

"No I don't want to. But I think I need you to do it anyway."

I need to phrase this very carefully. I don't want him to become even more upset than he already is. "The other situations were beyond your control and you had no power to change them. Isaiah was shot by Darius, the slaves were killed by your masters and Jenkins was shot by geth before you could react. With Kaidan you had a choice. But just because you made that decision it doesn't make it your fault."

"We are responsible for the consequ-"

"No, you are not responsible for this one. Saren put you in that position and you did what you could. Yes, Kaidan is dead… but you also have to remember that Rylee is alive."

He turned from the ceiling and looked at me with furrowed brows. "Rylee is alive because of you Nathan. She gets to see Hannah again. She is alive because you saved her. Kaidan is dead because Saren killed him."

His eyes looked so lost and tired. They were longing for something, desperately staring into mine. They soon began glistening and spots of water threatened to fall but they didn't.

"I don't think I've ever told you about Torfan. Actually, I don't think I've spoken to anyone about it, so here goes." He began.

Nate's body tensed at the memory of the event. "The Batarians had been performing raids in the system for years and we found their primary stronghold on Torfan. We were given explicit orders to take down their leaders by any means necessary. Major Kyle was leading the assault but he split us into teams. I was 4th in Command of the second team. As it happens all 3 officers ahead of me died so it fell to me."

"Then what happened."

"I… slaughtered every Batarian I saw. If you had a gun in your hand I killed you without hesitation. Even if you surrendered you'd still get a bullet to the brain." He winced.

"I killed entire families of Batarians and I never gave it a second thought. I threw frag grenades in every house that I could… there were children in some of those houses. But I never gave it another thought. My hatred of them blinded me to the point I was willing to kill innocence."

He looked at me expectantly but I didn't react and it was taking a herculean effort on my part. I read the stories when I first came aboard the ship. That story did strengthen my opinion that he was nothing but a thug and a monster.

"I never once felt an ounce of guilt about what I did until recently. It was interacting with aliens like you, Wrex, Tali, Garrus, Thane, the Council and others that I realised the you guys are people too. Then I realised Batarians are people too. And those families… those children didn't deserve the fate I dished out."

I reached to touch his shoulder but instead he turned and grabbed my hand.

"Why are you still here? Can't you see I'm just another monster. Just like the people who enslaved me. I never gave it a second thought when it came to-"

"I know what you are trying to do Nathan. It's not going to work," I interjected.

He tried to reply but now it was my time to talk so I placed a finger over his lips. "Nathan, I knew about the story already. You are not telling me anything I did not already know. Telling me this now is not going to change how I feel about you and you are not going to push me away."

I placed my other hand on his and guided it the bed. "I'm going to be here for you whether you like it or not."

He looked ready to argue but didn't, instead he stared at his hand. I had entangled my fingers with his, and he didn't resist.

"Um… I need to address the crew… I need to tell them what our next move is," he declared before wriggling out of my grip.

"That reminds me Nathan. There's something I need to tell you," I said.

 _~o~o~o~o~o~_

"Let's get this out of the way. How the hell did a child stow away aboard a military vessel and no one noticed! That's unacceptable from all of us. Nothing and no one gets aboard this ship without either mine, Lieutenant Shepard and Navigator Pressly's say so! Do I make myself clear!"

"Aye, aye sir!" the crew replied in unison.

"I understand that Kaidan's loss has rocked us to the core. He was an integral part of this crew and that's no secret, but we must push forward. Lieutenant Alenko died dealing Saren a critical blow. We substantially reduced Saren's army and we now have the other vision. We've got him running scared and disoriented. Novaria is where we finally get one step ahead of the bastard. So let's stop this bastard and get payback for every single thing he's taken from us."

He turned to face Garrus, "Besmirching your species' reputation."

"Your people," he nodded towards Wrex.

"The 212," he directed at Ashley

"Your safety" he said to Tali

"Your mother," he said to me.

"Every single life lost on Eden Prime!" Pressly added, getting a rousing cheer from the crew.

"Kaidan Alenko," Rylee said.

"Kaidan Alenko," Nate repeated, looking straight into her eyes

"Saren will pay, and he will pay by our hand!" he declared, receiving a raucous cheer from the crew.

He truly has their support now. It's amazing that he has managed to win over the crew in such a short span of time. Some seasoned leaders among the asari never receive as much loyalty and respect as these humans are showing for Nathan. He is far more charismatic than he believes and he has a way of making us feel like we're 10 feet tall. He makes mountains feel like hills,

He pulled Rylee into his quarters, likely for the talk that needs to happen between the two of them regarding Kaidan.

 _~o~o~o~o~o~_

Nate had called a team meeting in the Comm-Room. Ashley, Rylee, Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Nate and I were all in attendance. The atmosphere was as sombre as you could imagine considering what had happened. We all looked to Kaidan's usual chair, and the fact it was empty was just another knife to the gut. A sensation I have become all too familiar with thanks to Kai.

"As you all know we are currently on our way to Earth. But there's been a change of plans. Liara pointed out that with Kai already aboard the Normandy it makes more sense to drop him off at Novaria."

"There's no guarantee that the information Won gave you is accurate," Garrus stated.

"Yes, but right now it's our only lead, so we're going. Besides, without his first tip, we wouldn't have known about the cloning facility and we wouldn't have the other half of the beacon."

"Which means you have to meld with Liara again."

"Let's do it," he said before standing in the centre of the room.

"Are you sure, Nate. Last time…" I began.

"Forget about last time. This is for the sake of the mission."

I stood silently and walked up to the Commander. "Embrace Eternity."

 **############**

This time moving through his mind felt much more natural. The beacon vision is probably going to be in the recesses of his mind, somewhere deep, so he won't have to deal with it constantly. However, this time I must be careful. It turns out what I see is brought to the surface.

I ignored the memories that contained his life as a slave. The images where graphic enough without me reliving it from his perspective. I swam through his subconscious looking for the beacon memory. It should be around here somewhere.

I haven't been this deep in his subconscious before. What's troubling is that there are no memories of his life before slavery. I can see that there are more connections, but they are badly damaged. Likely due to melding with the Ardat-Yakshi. It still amazes me that there is someone capable of surviving melding with one.

In my search for it I realised that there was a memory blocking the site where the last vision was stored. This memory seemed to relate to Kai. Since it's blocking the vision, then I must look into it. I am so sorry Nathan. I'm invading your privacy again.

 _It's a memory of what happened after he was rescued from the Ardat-Yakshi. Samara, the real Justicar had awaited the arrival of the Council craft. Nate was taken to the Citadel by the Council team._

 _People claiming to be his parents arrived and claimed him. The joy he felt was unrivalled. He had finally been reunited with a family he never knew he had. Even though he was happy he didn't let it show. He looked at the man and woman with such marvel. They looked like him. He shared features with the both of them._

There was another blank that caused the memory to skip a week.

 _After a week in C-Sec custody he was released into their custody. They got on the shuttle and took him to another planet. The entire time Nate didn't speak. The only time he ever spoke in C-Sec was when he needed to relieve himself or to eat. He never asked them any questions._

 _I see them landing on a densely-vegetated planet. His parents walked him through a facility and led him to a cell, before locking him in with two other children._

There's another blank in the memory. It skipped to him in the same facility.

 _He was among other children. Only this time they were all human. They were all dressed in rags and they looked badly beaten. Some looked to be highly intoxicated, others had scars and burns inflicted upon them. All looked tired and fearful._

Then it skipped again. The only way I could explain this is that melding with the Ardat-Yakshi must have had an effect on his short-term memory at that time. It would be entirely possible he has no memory of this incident.

 _Nate was taken to a ring where he had to fight a little girl. She was ungroomed. Uneven hair, dried gravt on her cheeks, blood stained on her shirt. She looked feral and rabid, as though she had just been introduced to civilisation._

 _I could feel Nate's fear of this little girl. She was going to kill him and that was clear in her eyes. This girl who couldn't have been much older than 8 was going to kill him._

 _The ensuing battle was brutal. She outmatched him in almost every sense. She was faster, more agile and possessed a frightening amount of biotic power. He was constantly on the defence and his barrier was being pushed to the limit._

 _Due to her dominance, his opponent became cocky. She started toying with him, tossing him around. She grabbed him by his neck and got ready to finish him off. In her lapse in concentration, Nate had managed to concentrate enough biotic power in his fist to punch her on the jaw._

 _No matter how strong she is she's still a child, and taking a hit like that from someone older than her was bound to do some real damage. It sent her skidding along the ground, unconscious._

 _Nate had told me about the times he was forced to fight other slaves for the entertainment for the 'masters'. His instinct was always to finish off his opponent. He sprang to his feet and prepared to kill the unconscious girl._

 _That was before he felt an electric shock on the back of his neck, causing him to collapse. The last thing he saw was an armed man in black, going to pick up the little girl and taking her out of the arena._

Oh, by the Goddess. I always knew that this sort of suffering happens all over the galaxy, but to witness it is unnerving. It seems that nothing about Nate's life has been what any normal person would consider to be pleasurable or good. He has been through so much, and yet here he is. Constantly fighting, whether it's for his own survival, his gang, his crew or the whole galaxy.

He deserves a rest from fighting so he can enjoy everything that he has fought for. But this also worries me.

I'm not sure if he can cope in a time of peace. Conflict might be too ingrained in his life for him to live without it in some way, shape or form. I just hope that when this is over I can help him enjoy the rest of his life.

After seeing the memory, the vision was clearer. I could see the reapers in their thousands descending upon Prothean colonies, the destruction they caused was unparalleled. Then the focus shifted to a familiar looking planet. I've seen it before in my research, but what was it called?

There was a mass relay floating inside the core of the planet. I remember seeing a planet directly connected to the mass relay in one of the books in mother's archive.

 **############**

 _"_ That was… far more intense than I had anticipated. I need a moment to collect myself, _"_ I sighed. This melding business if far harder than I anticipated.

"Did the visions make sense to you?" Nate asked.

"Yes, there was a planet in this one. I've seen it before in my research, but I can't seem to remember what it was called."

"Was there anything else in the vision that was useful?" Rylee inquired.

"Not really but I now know what the visions are. They are a distress call, a message sent across the Prothean Empire. A warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late."

"But what about the Conduit?"

"The Conduit… I feel like I've heard it in the vision. I am lost. I kept hearing them say something along the lines of I am lost or I lost. Is it because they lost the war with the Reapers?" Nate guessed.

Nate had just triggered an epiphany. "It was not I lost. It was Ilos. It was a Prothean planet. If my memory serves correct, then it was in the Pangaea Expanse, in the Refuge System. The Conduit is on Ilos!" I cheered.

There was a visible buzz within the room. For the first time since Kaidan's death, they were all excited. And my cheer is part of that reason. However, I wish I had contained my excitement long enough for me to give them the bad news.

"We've got him. Saren has got to be on his way to Ilos now. We have to head there right now," Ashley hollered.

"Wait, there's a problem," I began.

"You're right there is. If Saren was going to head to Ilos, then why would he have been on Virmire just a day ago. As far as we know the only thing he had over us was the other half of the beacon," Garrus assessed.

"What do you mean?" Tali wondered.

"Right now we are in the exact same position Saren has been in for the past few months. We have the Cipher and the whole vision. Saren's had those ever since before we left Feros and that was months ago," he continued.

"Damn, I didn't think of that," Tali said.

"That either means he's already been to Ilos, found the Conduit and he's missing something," Ashley added.

"Or he doesn't know where Ilos is and he's spent all this time searching for it," Garrus finished.

"I'm afraid it's the second. The only way to reach Ilos is through the Mu Relay," I said.

The mention of the relay caused Wrex to _grunt_. "That relay was in Rachni space. They were the only ones who knew its location. _It's too bad we can't ask them nicely where they found it._ "

"Yes, since a supernova pushed the relay into dark space the relay was lost. The geth could come up with an algorithm to determine its possible coordinates after 4000 years. But even with that, it would take centuries for them to locate the relay. Mass relays are cold so they won't be picked up by thermal scans."

"And I'm willing to bet that's exactly what Saren is after on Novaria. This informant probably has information that would reduce the search area or if we're lucky, tell us exactly where the damn relay is."

 _~o~o~o~o~o~_

 _[Nate]_

I dismissed the team so they could get more rest before we reach Novaria. If it's anything like Virmire we need to be on our game.

The only one who stayed was Liara, whom I specifically told to go to see Dr Chakwas. But I had an idea of what it is she wanted to speak about so I didn't mind too much.

"Commander, when we melded… I'm sorry but to see the vision. I had to look into another one of your memories."

I tensed slightly at the unfortunately, necessary invasion of my privacy. "Don't worry too much… what did you see?"

"I saw you after being saved by the Justicar, Samara. You were taken by people who claimed to be your parents to a facility where you were forced to fight other children. One of the children was frighteningly strong. Her biotics almost killed you."

"That's weird… I have no recollection of that ever happening to me. After my meeting with the Ardat-whatever, I just remember being back in the cell. I don't remember ever going to the Citadel during that time."

"That's what I... saw," she said before nearly collapsing.

"Listen go to Dr Chakwas. I would take you but right now the Council are waiting."

"That's alright, I can manage. Good luck with your meeting."

It seems that there are a lot of things that happened that I have no memory of. I'm not entirely sure if that's a blessing or a curse. I don't want to remember my former life… but would I be any better if I just had all those years blanked from my memory.

There are days, they are very rare, but they happen. When I think that the blanks in my memory hurt more than the slavery. There might have been a good part of my childhood, but I don't remember it. I could have a family, I could have childhood friends. I could have played catch with my dad, or had my mum nurse scraped knees and elbows.

There's a huge part of my life I don't remember and it… maybe it's better that I never find out what it is that I lost.

After she staggered out of the room I told Joker to patch the Council through.

 **Tevos** \- Commander Anderson. I'm pleased to see your mission on Virmire was a success.

 **Sparatus** \- Saren is formidable enough without an army of Krogan serving under him.

"Yes, but Sovereign is the real threat. It's a Reaper."

 **Valern** \- Yes we saw mention of this on your report. Sovereign. A sentient machine. A true artificial intelligence. This news is quite alarming… if it turns out to be accurate.

"Saren said it himself. I spoke to Sovereign. I even showed you the recording from Liara's suit of my conversation with Sovereign. What is it going to take for you to believe me? Do I have to bring the entire armada before you?"

 **Sparatus-** He's playing you Anderson! Saren still has contacts on the Citadel. He probably saw your earlier reports. The ones talking about your vision. And the Reapers.

The way that turian speaks really gets on my nerves. He thinks anything I come up with is crap.

 **Valern** \- Saren is likely using false information to throw you off balance. Our own intelligence has never turned up any corroborating information.

"Your own intelligence isn't too much to rave about considering that you wouldn't have known about Virmire without me."

 **Tevos-** Our intelligence has also pointed you in the direction of Feros and Therum.

"That's true, but my intelligence has turned up something new. We're headed to Novaria. One of Saren's contacts is currently planet side and we're going to catch them. Maybe you'd believe them if they told you about the Reapers."

 **Tevos-** Please try to see this from our point of view Commander. Saren is someone we can recognize, whereas the only evidence of Reapers you've showed us is your visions and a conversation with a what looks like a VI.

As much as I hate to admit it she has a point. From their perspective, my evidence is flimsy at best. In their position, I would be sceptical. But I've done just fine without them for the last few months, I can keep doing it without them now and into the future.

 **Sparatus-** You assume too much of the Commander. His past decisions and interaction with us, clearly show he is narrow minded and he can't see the big picture.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Joker."

"Whoops, looks like connection failed, funny how spotty it is when you speak to the Council," Joker chuckled.

"It's a mystery for the ages."

 _~o~o~o~o~o~_

 **Location: Horsehead Nebula, Pax System, Novaria, Port Hanshann**

 _[Nate]_

I opted to have all hands-on deck for this one, including Rylee. Despite what Dr Chakwas said, we do need Rylee. As far as I can tell she's at 100% and we're going to need as much help as we can get for the rest of this mission.

I had Kai stand behind me just in case anyone tried anything. "Who is going to pick you up?"

"Miss Parasini. She knows where my friends are," he informed.

"Okay. Now remember, just stay behind me. I don't think anything is going to happen, but you never know," I said.

"Very comforting, Commander," Ashley drawled.

"You're not meant to say that sort of thing to children." Tali whispered.

"What did I do wrong? I just told him the truth."

They both simultaneously facepalmed, then shook their heads. "You know what, forget about it." They said in unison.

Just like everything else that seems to involve me lately, armed guards approached us. Their weapons were holstered but definitely visible. They're clearly security.

Their leader was a petite human female, dark of hair and eyes, wearing light combat armor. "That's far enough. This is an unscheduled arrival, so I need your credentials."

"You first." I replied.

"Captain Maeko Matsuo, Elanus Risk Control Services. I'm in charge of security for Port Hanshan."

"Commander Anderson. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance."

Another guard decided to add her piece. "A _Spectre?_ Load of horseshit, ma'am. There are no human Spectres."

"I don't give a shit if you believe me, it's the truth." I spat.

Captain Matsuo looked uncertain. "We will need to confirm that, Mr. Shepard. I must also advise you that private firearms are not permitted on Noveria. I'll have to ask you to check your weapons here for return upon your departure."

I wanted to draw my weapon before they could do it to me but I didn't want this to escalate. Kai is still behind me and I can't risk him getting hurt in the crossfire.

"Not going to happen, Captain."

"We are authorised to use lethal force if you don't surrender your weapons in 3 seconds."

"Don't shoot, there's a child behind me," I urged before showing them Kai.

 _"Captain Matsuo, stand down!"_ _a voice boomed over the PA._

Matsuo raised a hand to restrain her subordinates. The blonde woman rolled her eyes in exasperation. I can tell this one has bloodlust.

 _"We've confirmed their identity, Captain,"_ the voice continued. _"Commander Anderson is a Spectre. Him and his associates are authorised to carry weapons Captain."_

"Very well," said Captain Matsuo. "I hope the rest of your visit is less confrontational." Her and her guards walked away from us. However, the blonde stared us down for a long time before following her leader. There's definite murderous intent behind that stare.

"Why don't we start every day like this?" Garrus said.

"That was a warm reception wasn't it," Tali added.

"Blake told me about this place. It's a corporate haven. They come here where they can conduct experiments without Council law oversight. The Administrators here have only one allegiance and that's to the Executive Board. And guess who's on the board," I asked.

"The corporations who invest here," Rylee replied.

Gianna Parasini was a tall, elegant, black woman, with green eyes. Her dress hugged her figure and accentuated her features. But something about the whole thing seems off.

As soon as we walked through the gate alarms began ringing. "Weapons detectors, don't mind the alarm."

"Commander Anderson. I apologize for the incident in the docking bay. Welcome to Port Hanshan."

I looked at her and I could detect her discomfort. But she wasn't nervous, so it's not about me or my crew. It's something else. It's got to be something on her person or what she's wearing. "Don't worry about it. I've been through worse."

"I'm assistant to Administrator Anoleis, Gianna Parassini. I'm responsible for the orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?"

"Has anyone of note passed through here or anyone suspicious?"

"An asari Matriarch passed through here a few days ago."

I turned to the side to look at Liara, but she herself was looking at Kai. Is this the second piece of information that Won promised me back on the Citadel.

"Benezia T'Soni?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Call it a hunch. Did she arrive with anyone else unusual?" I asked.

"No, but she did come with a squad of Asari Commandos."

Asari Commandos… shit they must be indoctrinated too. Even if they weren't they are probably fiercely loyal to Benezia. Maybe if I could convince Benezia to stand down the Commandos could follow suit. Rylee managed to break through to Saren albeit briefly, hopefully she can repeat the feat.

"Where is she currently?" Liara asked.

"Lady Benezia left several days ago for the Binary Helix research complex at Peak 15. To the best of my knowledge, she is still there."

"How do we get to Peak 15, then?"

She smirked, only for a split second, that was undeniable. "You're going to need Administer Anoleis' clearance if you want to leave this port. His office is on the main level, left at the top of the elevator."

She's playing us, but why?

"Cut the crap. He's not going to let us leave is he." I sneered.

"Of course not," Rylee said, now face to face with Parassini. "I know Corporate types. He's just like Ethan Jeong, more fearful of Executive backlash than SPECTRE threats. And I'm sure the last thing they want is a SPECTRE snooping around and possibly reporting them to the Council. So why don't you tell us what you tell us what you need."

"Very perceptive aren't you. Meet me at these coordinates in 15 minutes and I'll tell you what you need to do. For now, I think I'll just take Kai off your hands."

"Kai, do you know her?" I asked him and he nodded.

"That's Gianna."

"That's all I need to know. Take care of the kid," I said rather stiffly.

"I will Commander."

Kai began saying individual goodbyes to each member of the crew I brought with me. During the journey here, he spent a lot of time just talking to them. The consensus is that he's a good kid. Very nice, kind and respectful and I have to agree. He addressed everyone by Mr or Miss's unless told otherwise. He thanked us all for our hospitality and for saving him on the Citadel.

Then he came up to me. He spread his arms, inviting a hug, so I knelt down and embraced him. What I didn't expect was what he said to me. He didn't thank me, and to be honest he's already done enough of that.

He gave me advice. Something I didn't think too much about until he first said it to me.

"Don't let Liara kill her mother."

 _~o~o~o~o~o~_

 _[Liara]_

My mind wondered back to my final conversation with Kai before he left with Gianna Parassini. He walked into my usual space just after I'd seen Dr Chakwas. I was still recovering from the tiredness brought on by the melding.

 _"Liara, just so you know, I had another drug. I gave it to Nate when Dr Chakwas left to check up on Rylee in the cargo bay."_

 _"Then why did you lie to me and say you had one."_

 _"I wanted to see what you'd do."_

 _"You were testing me… why now?"_

 _"You see a person's true character when a difficult decision needs to be made. And what you did showed me the type of person you are."_

 _"Enlighten me."_

 _"You're a good person. You want to help people in need and you will try your best to aid the most vulnerable"_

 _"Thank you."_

 _"It also showed me you're not a leader and you aren't cut out to be in charge. You're not ruthless enough and you don't have what it takes to look past your kindness for the better of the mission. You let your compassion cost you."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"What you gave Rylee was enough. But what you gave Nate wasn't. if I didn't slip him one, then he'd probably still be unconscious. And it's likely you would still be on course to Earth."_

 _"And what was the point of this test?"_

 _"Didn't I just answer that?" he sneered._

 _I in turn shot him a glare that made the blood drain from his face._

 _"As I've been saying I just wanted to know the type of person I was dealing with. And now I do?"_

After he said that he left. That boy is far too intelligent for his age. He shouldn't be that perceptive or that manipulative. Yet he is. I've heard of tales of other species training children in the art of espionage. After Kai mentioned the Hanar, I did some research. The Hanar train Drell to be soldiers, assassins, spies, politicians or whatever it is they need. They can start as young as 5 years old.

Is that what happened to him. Did he get recruited by a mercenary band as a child? It would make sense. But if that was the case, then why would they go to all that trouble to get him back. He's a special one. But I wonder just how special.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Sorry for the late update but studies have taken up a lot of my time lately. I doubt I'll update again for a while so sorry in advance.**

 **I'm going to run this for about another 4-5 chapters and I'm thinking of doing an ME2 story as well.**

 **Guess which ME2 character made an appearance in this chapter.**


	24. I'm going to stop Saren

**Location: Horsehead Nebula, Pax System, Novaria, Peak 15, Rift Station**

We spent a long time navigating this endless maze they call a research facility until we finally made it to what appears to be the main research area of this wing. If Benezia is anywhere in this facility it's here.

I stopped the team and looked to Liara. "Likely, Benezia is behind those doors. Liara I want to know if you have the resolve to go in there and potentially kill her."

My question wasn't surprising in the least, but for a brief second, she was shocked and disgusted at my bluntness. I've never had a mother to speak of, so I can't really relate to how she feels right now, but I can only imagine her struggle. If I had to kill David… I don't know what I would do.

Rylee put her hand on Liara's shoulder and glared at me. Clearly, she felt I was being insensitive. "We are going to try our best to end this peacefully with her surrender, but if she has guns aimed at us, are you ready to support us. Saying yes on the ship is one thing, but when she's this close can you honestly give the same answer."

As Rylee finished her line of thought, all eyes were trained on Liara. This is a question that needs to be answered now. There's too much at stake for us to slip up now and after losing Kaidan, we need to be careful so we don't lose anyone else.

Liara's arms began shaking, but only slightly, I couldn't read her facial expression with her visor on, but I'm guessing it's the same look I had when I saw Talitha on earth. One wrong move and a woman you care about is dead.

Kai's words returned to me amid this tension and they began to weigh on me. _Don't let Liara kill her mother._ It never really crossed my mind until he said it to me, that Liara may be the one who struck the killing blow.

After Eden Prime I was angry and when I heard that Benezia was involved I had every intention of gutting her and Saren personally. They had killed hundreds and tried to kill thousands. It's only recently that I even considered sparing Benezia.

In an ideal world, we arrest Benezia and she's not executed, Liara gets to visit and she helps us stop Saren. But likely, she's been indoctrinated and it's too late to save her.

Liara didn't say a word to any of us, nor did she look at our faces. Without acknowledging any of us, she approached the door and opened it.

To no one's shock, we spotted an asari wearing a black tight fitted dress stood tall and proud on the staircase above. Her concentration fixed on glass window opposite to her.

Liara slowly took off her helmet, probably to confirm that what she saw was real. A single word escaped her lips without her even realising what she had said. Whispered so quietly that we barely caught it.

" _Mother?_ "

Benezia's concentration on the glass window never waned. "You do not know the privilege of being a mother," she said calmly. "The power to create a life, to shape it, to turn it toward happiness or despair. Her children were to be mine, raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies. They still can be."

She turned to face the squad. She leered at Liara and sneered with venomous disgust.

"I won't be moved by sympathy, Commander. No matter what you say, no matter whom you bring into this confrontation."

"Liara chose to be here. No one forced her to come."

"Indeed? What have you told him about me, Liara?"

"What could I tell him, mother? How could I explain what has happened to you, what insanity or evil has overcome you?" Liara shouted.

 _"_ _What could I possibly say to justify all of this!?"_

 _Benezia dismissed her daughter with an annoyed roll of her eyes. Her focus then turned to me._

"Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."

"We don't need to fight Benezia. Just come with us peacefully and I'll put in a good word for you,"

"Ha! As if a human has enough clout to ask favours of the Council, even if that human is a SPECTRE."

"Mother… plea-"

"I grow tired of this meaningless drabble!" she yelled before flinging her arm towards Liara.

Before the attack could reach her, I managed to get in front of Liara, taking the blow as a result. She had trapped me in a stasis field, leaving me helpless. To make matters worse, the Commandos were beginning to move into position.

Rylee fired at Benezia, but strangely none of her shots hit. It caused the Matriarch to break her concentration, thus releasing the stasis field.

"You would really kill your own daughter!?" Shepard shouted in disbelief.

"It is clear now that I should have been stricter with her!" Benezia responded with a shockwave in our direction.

This time I was equal to it and replied with one of my own. The resulting biotic explosion gave us the chaos needed to spread ourselves about. A concentrated group plays right into these biotics hands.

Staying at this range isn't going to help so we need to get up close and personal. I'll try and leave Benezia for now. Her biotics are clearly powerful. From my count, she brought 3 commandos with her. That would be a problem if we met them a few months ago, but now, they don't stand a chance.

The real problem is the other Commandos Gianna told me she had with her. This room has two main entrances, and there's no way of knowing when they'll arrive. I'll have to plant charges at the doors during this fight.

"Rylee, Garrus, Tali keep Benezia distracted. She may not be as experienced as the Commandos but her biotics are definitely stronger."

"Aye, aye!"

"Wrex, me and you are going to charge at these Commando's, Liara support Ashley and make sure she gets up close. If they have distance, they can keep non-biotics in check."

"Yes Commander"

"Come on, we have things to shoot," Wrex guffawed.

The fight wouldn't have been so difficult if it wasn't for Benezia herself. Her attacks were powerful, more so than any biotic I've ever fought. She was changing the landscape of the room on her own, bending metal, denting crates, shattering glass and sending objects flying. The worst part was her relation to Liara was effecting all of us.

She isn't as experienced in combat as any of us so she leaves herself over exposed often, but no one is willing to make the kill shot. Every shot either scrapes her or is designed to distract her. Rylee and Garrus' shots have never been this wayward, but they still managed to keep her occupied long enough for the rest of us to deal with the swarms of geth and Commando's.

All that remained was the Matriarch herself. But something was different. She looks like she's trying to shake off the mother of all headaches.

"You must listen. Saren still whispers in my mind. I have kept a small portion of myself free of him. I can fight him briefly . . . but the _indoctrination_ is terribly strong." She panted.

"So, you could turn on us again?" Rylee asked.

"Yes, but it would not be _my_ will. People are not themselves around Saren. His allies and followers come to idolize him, worship him. We would do _anything_ for him." She glanced at Liara, pain in her face. "Even kill your own child."

"How does he do it?" Shepard demanded. "Is it a telepathic effect? Alien technology?"

"I am not sure. I think the key is _Sovereign_ , his flagship. I do not know who built it. Its technology is far more advanced than that of any known civilization. The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren's will becomes yours. You sit at his feet and smile as his words pour into you. I thought I was strong enough to resist, but before long I was his willing tool, eager to serve. Beware of this, Commander."

"I have no interest in getting close to Sovereign, but I do need to know how to destroy it. But for now, I need to know who the informant was that Saren sent you to speak with."

"The informant you seek is the Rachni Queen, stored in the tank behind me."

"What!" Wrex exclaimed, before storming over to the tank. This was an emotion I've never seen coming from the Krogan before. I couldn't describe it, it wasn't fear or anger, but a mixture of the two.

"What did you learn from the queen."

Benezia dropped her gaze, clenched her fists hard at her sides, her hands shaking. "Two thousand years ago the rachni inhabited that region of the galaxy. They found the relay, drifting in interstellar space. The knowledge was passed down through ancestral memory, queens inheriting it from their mothers. I took the knowledge of the Mu Relay from this queen's mind. I was not gentle."

"Oh, Mother," I breathed.

"It's an emotion I cannot describe, being trapped within your own body. Killing innocence whilst being unable to stop yourself. Committing such atrocities, you know can never be forgiven."

"You can still make it right." Rylee held out a hand in appeal. "Help us stop Saren. Give us the information too."

"I . . . I . . ." She shook her head violently, and then turned to the workbench beside her to pick up a data disk, her hand trembling. "I will. I made a copy of the information on this OSD. Take it, quickly."

I stepped forward and took the disk, tucked it into a pocket of my armour.

Benezia recoiled abruptly, turning away from us, covering her face with both hands. "You have to stop him. You have to stop _me_. Oh, _Goddess!_ He is upon me, inside me, tearing at me from the inside . . ."

"Mother, don't leave us!"

She turned to Liara, her arms stretched out in a futile attempt to touch me. Her voice was horribly strained, as if she had to force the words out against terrible resistance. "Liara . . . I have always been so proud of you . . ."

Liara instinctively moved forward to touch her mother, but before she could, Benezia was enveloped in a biotic aura.

"DIE!" she shrieked.

I yanked Liara back but it was pointless. Benezia had sent out a shockwave that knocked us all off our feet. I reached for my pistol but Benezia kicked it away and stood on my back.

"Saren's enemies will all perish!"

I glanced back and saw her ready to crush my skull with a biotically enhanced punch. Only thing that stopped her was a shot that managed to just skin her arm.

"Are you really going to kill your own mother?"

"Mother, step away from the Commander… the next one goes… it will go-" Liara stumbled on her own words. Shooting at Benezia must have taken a lot out of her emotionally, but to even threaten to kill her.

"Go where child. How am I to take your threats seriously if you cannot even finish a sentence," Benezia reprimanded.

 _Don't let Liara kill her mother_

I have to do something about this. Think Nathan think. There must be something in this room that will help me out of this situation. It has to be light and small, small enough she won't notice and take her eyes off Liara.

The pistol she kicked away. If I can just pull it towards me I can throw it at her head, knock her off balance, then trap her in a stasis field. Yes, that has to work.

"Now DIE!" she screamed, throwing her fist at the back of my head.

A single gunshot was fired. Loud, unruly and deafening, and went straight through the Matriarch's chest. I looked at Liara in horror. I shouldn't have brought her here.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 _[Rylee]_

Poor Liara. She must be devastated. Watching your mother die in front of you must be more painful than I could ever imagine. But there wasn't another way it could have ended. She was ready to kill Nate, so she had to be taken down.

Liara didn't break down into tears at that moment, but you could see that she was broken. Her puffy eyes, pursed lips, clenched jaw and limp arms all showed the signs of someone that had given up. The air was thick and suddenly it became hard for me to breathe, you could smell the asari blood, freshly splattered on the pillars and some even hit Liara.

"Liara," I whispered, pathetically reaching out for her, but knowing that whatever I say now is pointless. There's nothing we can do for her right now.

Nate gingerly got to his feet, likely trying to shake the cobwebs from his mind. He still had the presence of mind to identify Liara but made no moves. He didn't want this to happen, not with Liara around, but that's reality.

"Wrex, thank you for saving my life," Nate said to the Krogan mercenary. "Liara, I'm sorry that it came to this."

I understand that you need to be professional Nate, but this just seems wrong. Thankfully Wrex didn't reply, instead just grunting in acknowledgement.

"Saren and Sovereign will pay for this Liara, I promise."

"We'll make sure of that," Garrus added.

Liara merely nodded at the declaration. She's still dumbstruck from witnessing her mother's death.

"Your way of speaking is strange, flat; it does not colour the air." Said a soft, monotonous voice, unfamiliar to any of us.

Startled, we all reached for our guns and aimed our weapons at the asari commando, who I am certain was dead.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Nate asked.

"I've seen some weird shit since joining you Anderson, but that-" Garrus said pointing at the tentacle of the Rachni Queen pressed up against the glass, seemingly controlling the asari. "Has to be near the top."

"This is going to be a fun conversation," Wrex chuckled.

"We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are rachni" she declared.

"How are you speaking through the asari."

"Our kind sing through touching's of thought. We pluck the strings and the other understands. She is weak to urging. She has colours we have no names for. But she is ending. Her music is bittersweet. It is beautiful."

"So, she wasn't dead, but she was on the brink," Rylee gathered. That surprisingly makes sense.

"The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm as they are"

"Listen, I don't care why your children attacked me and I don't want to hear excuses. Get to the point, or is this one long apology!" Nate snapped.

Now that reminds me of how he used to be before this mission. Quick to anger, rude and threatening. Well he's still rude and threatening he's calmed down ever since he got closer to Liara.

"You are not in harmony with those who hoped to control us," the commando said, her face expressionless, her eyes glazed and unseeing. "What will _you_ sing? Will you release us? Or are we to fade away once more?"

"I think she's asking Nate to choose what to do with her, now that the Binary Helix project has been wrecked."

"Your companion hears the truth," agreed the asari. No, the _queen_. "You have the power to free us to sing again, or to return us to the silence of memory. What do you choose?"

"Look at those tanks above her, Commander," said Tali. "That's Hydrochloric acid, strong enough to kill anything no matter its biology. They must have been concerned about the consequences if she ever escaped."

I had thought that Nate would ask for our opinions or at least spend some time thinking this through himself. But he didn't. He simply pulled his pistol out it's holster and shot the asari in the head.

Not missing a beat, he went to the controls and when he was done the tanks began to lower.

"Can't take the risk." He said.

Wrex and Garrus both nodded approvingly, whereas Tali and I glared at Nate with disbelief. "Nate, what the hell was that?"

When I looked at Nate, he gave me one of the coldest looks I've ever seen. It wasn't cold in the sense of murderous intent. But just cold as in, it was empty and vacant. It was unwelcoming and hard.

"Grab any useful equipment and gather every bit of data on those terminals. When that's done, we're leaving." He ordered.

"And Garrus, grab Benezia's body."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 _[Wrex]_

Well that was a real shit show. We managed to get the info we need to get to Ilos and we got rid of the Rachni forever. Well I'm not sure if that's the last of them. We thought that a thousand years ago and look what happened today.

Despite those victories, nobody in this tram is enjoying the victory. And If I'm perfectly honest neither am I. This krant is unlike any that I've ever seen before. They are all so damn sensitive. When one feels sad so do the rest, and I think I'm falling victim too.

Damn humans. I blame them for this, especially Shepard and Anderson. Hard to believe that two so young could be as capable as they are. If they were Krogan they would be unstoppable. Shepard is intelligent beyond her years, she can assess a battlefield and pick her spot effortlessly. She knows where everyone needs to be to win and she can do something very few can. She can feel the tide of battle and she can pick the perfect moment to sway the tide in our favour. Something that not even Anderson can do and she's not in her prime yet. She will make a terrifying general in the future.

Even away from the battlefield she plays a major role. She keeps the crew happy and she catches what Anderson can't. If it wasn't for her, then this crew would have fallen apart during the first few weeks when Anderson was finding his footing. Hell, she even managed to find my grandfather's armour. She managed to get me to talk to Garrus, then Tali and even coaxed an apology to Liara out of me. Not too many like her in the galaxy.

Then there was the Commander. He's a natural leader but not in the same way as Shepard. Shepard can sway a crew with her words, but he leads through his actions. I never thought much of SPECTRE's but seeing what that training has done for him has made me rethink my position. He can't read a battle as well as Shepard, but he can read people. Shepard likes to use finesse and precision but his tactic requires none of that. He likes to throw himself in the thick of it and cause chaos, just like me.

"Anderson, we need to talk."

"Can't it wait Wrex."

"No, because this applies to you, Shepard, Liara and the rest of you."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you keep getting emotional, you're going to get yourself and others killed."

"Care to elaborate Wrex," Rylee interjected.

"I'll start with you Shepard. On Virmire. When Saren fought you and Nate. Why did you get in Saren's face?"

"…"

"Getting angry and going close range with a biotic like Saren was incredibly stupid. Kaidan didn't sacrifice his life so we could throw ours away needlessly." I said, knowing that might hurt her, but everything I say now is what they need to hear.

"Liara, Benezia was trying to kill us and because of that you couldn't concentrate. I almost shorted out my biotics covering you when I didn't need to, because you left yourself exposed throughout the entire fight. I'm probably the last person you want to hear this from, or even be around. But if this happens again, forget that it's your family, and remember that they are trying to kill you."

It's like when I had to kill Jarrod. Krogan killing their family wasn't uncommon back then, but it didn't make it any easier. He was willing to kill me without hesitation, just like Benezia while she was indoctrinated. I knew he wasn't going to change, just like Benezia. I knew if the Krogan race was going to survive, Jarrod needed to die.

I should probably get rid of that damn dagger at some point. I guess it's stupid sentimentality since that was the last thing that old bastard ever gave me. Never in a million years did he think I'd use it on him.

"Same applies for all of you. You all saw Benezia as Liara's mother so you couldn't bring yourselves to kill her. Even when she had Nate hostage, when one shot would have diffused the situation. None of you could pull the trigger."

"Can you blame them Wrex!? It's Liara's mother, it's hard to do something you know is going to hurt someone you care about." Ashley argued.

"Please! You all knew she had to die. It's Just that none of you had the quad to pull the trigger yourselves. You just wanted it to be someone else's guilt. Well that thinking almost got Nate killed."

"That's enough Wrex!" Nate snarled

"That brings me to you. You are the biggest offender of letting your emotions govern your actions. Where do I begin? The moon, Virmire, Darius, the Dantius drama, the fight with Benezia, the Rachni Queen."

"What!"

"On Earth's moon, your anger at Liara had you fight poorly and almost got both of you killed. Darius, you didn't wait long enough before instigating the fight. If you'd waited a couple of minutes we could have overwhelmed him completely. When we took down Dantius, you were so focused on catching up with Thane because you wanted to kill her yourself that you never noticed how me and Kaidan were picking up on your slack."

"…"

Again, the humans were speechless. "You were probably the only one who was trying to capture Benezia, rather than kill her. But you know that almost got you killed in the end. And your failure to capture her made you so angry that you to outright kill the Rachni without assessing the situation."

Nate has potential to become the most dominant combatant in the whole galaxy, if he fought with clarity and didn't allow his emotions to override his instincts. If he acts the way he did back there then he won't live for very long.

"You've given me a lot to think about Wrex."

"All I'm saying is that if Reapers can indoctrinate anyone that means at some point we may have to kill our own family members. If that happens, we need to be prepared to act and not let feelings get in the way."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 _[Nate]_

 **Location: Horsehead Nebula, Pax System, Novaria, SSV Normandy SR-1**

Not a single word was exchanged between anyone from the tram until we reached the Normandy. No one was in the mood to talk. The last two missions we've been on have been the some of the most successful that I've ever taken part in. I've destroyed a breeding facility, confirmed my enemy and their capabilities, saved Salarian STG ops, found the Conduit, took down a corrupt bureaucrat and yet two deaths have fucked everything.

None of us knew Benezia, but Liara was someone we all cared about deeply. Seeing her like that wasn't nice, but it proved necessary. As far as we know there's no cure for indoctrination, so Benezia was doomed. I was foolish to think I could save her. We left her body with the Serrice Company to have it transported to Liara's recently acquired estate on Thessia.

Once aboard the Normandy I walked into the cockpit to give Joker his instructions.

"Boy I'm glad to be off Novaria. I don't know what's worse the cold or the corporations. One will freeze your balls off and the other will sell them right from under you," he japed.

"Jeff…" I said.

"You called me Jeff… no one does that. All of a sudden I feel like my mom is about to chew me out for not putting the seat down."

"I sent the Council my report during the tram ride. Have they contacted the ship yet?"

"Yeah, they requested to speak with you as soon as you got back"

"Put them through to the Comm-room," I ordered before heading into the CIC.

"What's got everyone in such a good mood?" he scowled.

"We had to kill Benezia, right in front of Liara," I said as coldly as I could imagine. I can't let my anger surface now. I left before Joker could respond, it's probably for the best.

I marched through the CIC like I normally would after a mission and stalked to the Comm Room. I just need to get this conversation out of the way before I head to the Citadel. Because the way I feel now, I wouldn't put it past me to kill them if they really piss me off.

 **Tevos-** Commander. Do not cut us off like last time. I fail to find it amusing.

"Save the sermon. I'm just here to follow up on my report." I snapped.

I could see a vain threatening to pop out of her forehead and her jawline stiffen. I clearly get under her skin. But to her credit she kept on going.

 **Tevos-** Is this report true, Anderson? You found rachni on Novaria?

Before I could even reply, the Turian interjected.

 **Sparatus-** Found them and wiped them out! Do you take pleasure from committing genocide, Anderson?

"Depends on the species… and who I get to kill." I said looking directly into his eyes. I made the right decision choosing to do this away from them.

 **Sparatus-** Commander! You are addressing a member of the Council. You will show the proper respect.

"Stop being a complete ass, stop provoking me and do your job well enough to make sure you don't nominate a traitorous Turian as a SPECTRE. Don't create messes humanity needs to clean up, don't get in my way, then maybe I'll show you the respect you think you deserve." I seethed.

I know Udina is going to deal with this shitstorm, someone needs to tell this Councillor where to shove the shit he dishes out.

 **Sparatus-** You arrogant-

 **Valern-** That's enough out of both of you. Commander, we believe you made the right decision. The Rachni were a threat we couldn't risk getting loose.

 **Tevos-** It's a shame the Benezia's life came to such an end. But she chose her side.

"I should have saved her," I said unconsciously.

Shit I didn't say that out loud did I, especially in front of the second most despicable Turian in the galaxy. I looked up and none of the Councillors so much as changed a facial expression. Tevos on the other hand, I could see her features soften slightly.

"Joker,"

"Whoops, we disconnected. But I think that's a new record for your longest conversation. And I bet it felt great telling the Turian Councillor to shove it."

"You have no idea," I replied, smiling at the memory.

"What's our next move Commander?"

We have the location of the Conduit and we know that's the key to bringing the Reapers back. Time for the Citadel fleet to get to work.

"Head for the Citadel, they're going to give me an army to take Ilos and I'm going to stop Saren."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Come on Liara, let me in!" Ashley shouted.

"I want to be alone Ashley," Liara replied.

"We're worried about you."

"I am fine," Liara snapped "So stop bothering me at once."

Ashley signed, not out of anger but frustration. I'm grateful that she was around for Liara. Liara spoke with her often about what Benezia meant to her and the things they did together as children. I didn't know how to react when Liara spoke of her mum. I don't remember mine so I don't know what mother son interaction is.

"Maybe I should take over."

"Good, Commander you're here. Rylee, Dr Chakwas and Garrus all tried but she refused. She'll probably talk to you."

"Thanks for trying Ash. It means a lot." I said, before she left the medbay.

"Liara, it's me. I know you don't want to talk, so I won't talk about it. But let me be there for you, like you were for me... Please Liara," I pleaded. If there is one thing Liara knows about me, it's the fact that I'm not the most respectful person in the galaxy, as she likes to say, I'm rude. So, she also knows that I almost never say please.

But after all she's done for me to ease my pain. The least I could do is be there for her.

She opened the door and revealed herself to me. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, shoulders slumped and lips pursed yet quivering. "May we go to your quarters?" she asked.

She needed a s good deal of rest. She wore the pale blue onesie I normally saw her wear when she just woke up. She wants to sleep. Was she waiting for me?

"Of course."

She walked ahead of me into the Mess hall. There were a few crewmen currently off-duty enjoying some rest. I saw one of them look at Liara like they wanted to ask her something. Since I told Joker that Benezia was dead, the whole crew probably knows by now.

I positioned myself so that if anyone wanted to talk to Liara they had to go through me first. Before the Ensign Draven could open her mouth, I shook my head gently, and she got the point so she sat down.

Once inside Liara crashed on top of the bed and I followed soon after. She faced away from me so I spun her so we could look into each other's eyes. I'm not good at this consolation thing but I'll do my best for Liara. She deserves no less.

I pulled her into my chest, I could smell the sweat from her skin, I could feel the heat of her hitched breath on my body. I could feel the disturbing lack of tension in her muscles. She wasn't relaxed, she just felt weak. A feeling you can only relate to when someone you care about has been killed in front of you. Like Zay was with me and Benezia with her.

As I expected, my shirt was soon soaked with Liara's tears and the room was filled with the soft echo of her sobs. I gently placed my hand on the top of her head.

I wish I could tell her what she wants to hear, I wish I could stop this pain she feels right now.

I wish I could say she can take as long as she needs, but, she only has as long as it takes to get to the Citadel, which is about 9 hours. But until then I'll be by her side.

I'll be there for the woman I love.


	25. Our Space

**Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Upper Wards**

Of all the boneheaded, self-destructive, selfish, ignominious, imbecilic, imperceptive and just downright stupid things the Council have said or done. Nothing has been as detrimental to their own survival as grounding my ship and not sending anyone to Ilos.

That idiot Udina is so concerned with kissing up the Council for his own reputation, that he doesn't realise we're all screwed if Saren manages to bring the Reapers back. If Sovereign is as tough as what I've seen in these visions, then we need to do everything possible to stop the rest of his kind from returning.

The Normandy was locked down and I was given explicit orders to not board the ship, and for added measure they had her clamped down. The crew were free to stay aboard, and the majority did since they didn't have places on the Citadel. That's good, since it means when I figure out a way off this station, we'll be ready to leave immediately.

The wards are louder than they usually are, even for the market place this is noisy. The commotion is coming from the floor above. Morlan tried to get me to buy more of his gear but I refused, instead taking an interest in what had people so incensed.

I reached to top of the steps, and a small crowd was dispersing from around the podium near the clinic where I saved Dr Michel. Everyone walking away looked furious, frustrated and flummoxed at what they had experienced.

Amid the crowd passing me by, I felt a hand grab my forearm. "Commander Anderson!" the man shouted.

There stood a slim, blonde human with a goatee struggling to get through the crowd, and he was using my arm as an anchor. "Commander Anderson!" he

I pulled myself and the man out of the crowd. "Who are you?"

He had this giddy, deranged look on his face ever since I acknowledged him and it was really creeping me out. "You're Commander Anderson, first Human SPECTRE and Hero of Eden Prime. I am so honoured to meet you!"

"You haven't answered my question," I scowled. Just what's his angle.

"My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than 100 geth on Eden Prime!" he exclaimed again. This is no ordinary man, he's hiding something.

"I didn't keep count. What do you want?" I said. He's still smiling even though I'm being intentionally rude to him. That's not normal, everyone else either would have insulted me or at least glared at me. But with him it's nothing.

"Hey, I know you're probably busy, but do you have time for a quick autograph."

Autograph? That can't be all this guy is after. No one just comes up to me and asks for an autograph. "What for?"

"You're a hero Anderson, decades from now people are going to remember you and I'm going to have your picture," he hummed.

Did the Council send him? No way they wouldn't send a human to do everything. Maybe he's one of Udina's cronies sent to make sure I'm still on the Citadel or his spy to check up on me. I've seen him before outside Rylee's apartment block. Or the Alliance keeping an eye on their SPECTRE.

Either way this guy is not what he appears to be. There's no way anyone could be this… creepy and drunkenly happy naturally. Maybe this is an act, trying to get me to drop my guard by acting like this. If I wasn't on guard then I might have fallen for it.

"No, I don't feel like it," I stood defiantly. Let's see what he does about that.

"Please Commander," he pleaded, tugging at my shirt sleeve "I need this. A picture of you would mean the world to me," he said on the verge of tears. I looked around me and I noticed that people were intentionally avoiding looking at the situation.

There's no way anyone would behave like this, whoever he works for must be paying a lot if he's willing to make a fool out of himself like this.

"Come on man, have some pride," I growled.

A small crowd started gathering around us to see the show. Some began snickering at the situation and a few even began reaching for their recorders.

"Fine I'll sign whatever, just stop making an ass out of yourself," I capitulated. He reached for a pen and offered a rolled-up piece of paper that had my face on it. I scribbled what I thought an autograph would look like on it and pushed it into his chest.

"Get out of here," I warned. I can't believe this idiot just managed to embarrass me as well as himself. At least he's going to leave me alone from now on.

"Having some trouble Nate?" Rylee chuckled.

"Glad you find this amusing."

"Your first fan, I'm almost jealous."

"You can have him."

"Naah I think I'll stick to being one of the little people. Just make sure the fame doesn't change you."

"Very funny Shepard. Where's Liara, I thought she was with you?"

"Whilst you were dealing with the Council, I helped her with organising a funeral for Benezia and things surrounding it."

"How could you help with that?"

"Umm… uh… Kaidan -uh… Kaidan and I helped out Consort Sha'ira with a problem. She owed a favour so this is how I chose to cash it in," she said. Talking about Kaidan is still tough for her, we need to have a long talk about that but now isn't the time.

"I left her with the Consort and spent some time with Garrus at his place, so I don't-"

"Nathan, Rylee" speak of an angel and she shall appear. Liara began her ascent up the stairs towards us.

But before we could talk to her we all heard a small group of people shouting as loud as they could.

"Aliens off Earth!", "No blood for aliens"

"Throw the appeasers out!", "Earth first!"

That immediately grabbed all our attention as another crowd had begun to form around a group of humans. They continued their chants of earth first and anti-alien rhetoric. This seems like the sort of thing some of the REDS might have been interested in back when I ran with them. Hell, I probably would have joined them a few months ago.

"I thought we dispersed them but it looks like we missed a few." A C-Sec officer noted. "OK folks nothing to see here. Go about your business as usual"

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

 **Location: Serpent Nebula, Widow System, Citadel, Flux**

I hate clubs like this. They had their appeal when I was younger but now it's just annoying. The songs are the same and the alcohol just gives people an excuse to do what society would normally think is unacceptable. Rylee was talking to one of the waitresses and the bartender. They didn't seem close, more like she was checking up on them than anything else.

"I'm glad you came, Nathan. I heard what happened." David shouted over the music. Soon after I met Rylee and Liara I got a call from David to meet him in Flux.

"Fucking bureaucrats, more concerned about saving face than saving lives."

"I know, I'm sorry. I tried to warn you, but there was no way to get a message to you before you docked. I know your pissed off right now, but you can't give up. They all think this is over, but we both know it's not. You have to go to Ilos. You have to stop Saren from using the Conduit."

"The only way we'll pull that off is if we get to the Normandy. It's the only ship that gets us into the Terminus System undetected," I added.

"Citadel controls locked out all the Normandy's systems. But if we override the ambassador's orders we can get them to bring the Normandy back on-line. You can be in and out of the Terminus Systems before anyone even knows you're gone."

"But if the Normandy is stolen, then you will end up taking the blame," Liara argued.

"And if Saren finds the Conduit, life as we know it is over. The Reapers will destroy us. Humans, asari, everybody! You're the only one who can stop him Nathan. So, I'll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station."

"Stealing the Normandy is mutiny. What if the crew won't help me?"

"Nate, our entire crew will gladly follow any orders you give. You have our absolute trust and we'll follow you to the ends of the galaxy," Liara said passionately.

"She's right Nate. Especially if it's what we've been striving for since we started following you." Rylee added.

"So, what's the plan"

"I can unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel control centre. You'll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what happened."

"That is a restricted area patrolled by armed guards. How are you going to get in?"

"Leave that to me. Just make sure you're in the Normandy when the systems come back online" he stressed.

"I don't like it. You're going to be gunned down before we can leave the Citadel, there has to be a better way," I countered.

"Udina did issue the lockdown order. If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe I can override it."

"He won't let it slide, Captain. You'll be charged with treason, a capital offense," Rylee warned.

"We don't have a lot of options. I break into the ambassador's computer, or I take my chances with the patrols in Citadel control."

"Nate, what about your Syndicate?" Rylee hoped.

"I tried to contact them. Udina had RED Security shutdown and Aldis is in custody on shit charges. Outside of them, I don't have any real presence on the Citadel," I explained. "Go to Udina's office, we'll be on the ship in 20."

"Good, he made this personal. Tell Joker and the crew to standby."

"Already done," Rylee said as she tapped away at her omni-tool.

"Be careful David."

I just hope that this goes off without a hitch. The last thing we need now are more problems.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

"Nate, there's a problem. Udina is having his things moved to another office, his terminal isn't here." David said alarmed at how events were unfolding.

"Shit there has to be another way off the Citadel."

"There is," David began. "It's too late for me to reach the controls, so one of your crew has to stay behind and release the docking clamps."

"Are you kidding, C-Sec would be on our asses and they'd be exposed to gunfire the entire time."

"We don't exactly have a lot of options at this point."

"Nope, I know another way. It'll take another 15 minutes and it's safer than being out there exposed to potential gunfire. I can get access to traffic control, from there I can unclamp the Normandy but C-Sec is going to notice straight away."

"Isn't that a bad thing Rylee," Joker interjected

"They won't know immediately that the Normandy is unclamped, but they will know where I am and when they see it's me… well even C-Sec is smart enough to put 2 and 2 together." Rylee said.

"No, Rylee we need you on Ilos." I argued.

"What you need is to get to Ilos by any means necessary. If I have to stay behind then so be it, but you need to stop Saren."

Dammit she's right. Any other solution would require time we don't have and increases the chances that someone could stop us.

"Hurry and get these clamps off. I promise you I'll make this up to you," I promised.

"Just make sure you stop the bastard. For Kaidan," she offered her hand out to me.

"For Kaidan," I agreed, taking her hand into mine.

The rest of the combat crew nodded in agreement, and Rylee replied by waving them goodbye. Then she ran from the Normandy and turned right to the elevator.

I sighed knowing that this could be the last time we ever see each other. Ilos is going to be crawling with Geth, and now we don't have the Salarians to provide numbers so it's going to be even worse than Virmire.

"Get to your stations. Garrus, I want that MAKO perfectly calibrated. Wrex, Ashley make sure every one of our weapons are working and functional. Tali, report to Adams and make sure the stealth drive is operational. Joker, ready the PA."

"Aye, aye," the pilot replied.

I approached the mic nervously. It's not often I let my nerves reach the surface, but there's an air of finality about this moment. I know this is the last battle with Saren and one of us is going to be dead in the next few hours, yet that unsettles me. I've never particularly worried about dying before my missions. I never put much thought into it, if I die, I die. But now, I feel my stomach churn at the thought of my death. It's pissing me off.

I looked over to Liara, she stayed behind while everyone went to their stations. Just looking at her makes me feel easier about the situation. She offered me a meek smile of acknowledgement, telling me that she is here.

Thinking of my death makes me sick, thinking of Liara's… anyone who hurts her will feel pain that you couldn't even conjure up in your worst nightmares. Death will be a mercy that I'm too kind to give them.

"Listen up everyone, in the next 20 minutes this bird is going to fly and we're headed to Ilos and the Conduit. Everything we've done since I became a SPECTRE has built up to this and I can honestly say that if even one of you was missing, we wouldn't be where we are at this moment. It's been an honour serving with every one of you. And when we send Saren and his geth to the void, the last thing he'll hear is our cheers and Sovereigns scream!" I declared to a rousing applause and cheer.

"Very nice Commander, you know you really have a knack for public speaking. Maybe once we've kicked Saren's ass, you could do politics and show them how to make real change," Joker japed.

"Bit of a step down, going from kicking ass to kissing it don't you think," I smiled. "Besides if I had Udina's job I would have killed the Turian Councillor a long time ago."

"Yeah, I'm not entirely sure where they'd fall on that, but my gut says not too good."

"Good instincts."

"Hey just say the word and I'll slap him for you."

"Won't that break your hand?"

"Yeah but then I could sue him Commander. Being an ace Alliance Pilot doesn't exactly pay much."

"Get us through this and I'll pay for you to go anywhere in the Galaxy. You've earned it."

"Awesome, now I can add paid vacation to galactic survival and avenging Kaidan on the list of reasons I want to stop Saren."

I spent the next 15 minutes in the cockpit with Joker, speaking and monitoring all the systems to make sure we were ready, and the entire time my fears remained. I managed to table them to make that speech, but they just won't go away. What's wrong with me?

My train of thought was interrupted by the light suddenly flashing green, Rylee did it.

 **Location: SSV Normandy SR-1, en-route to Ilos**

I made my usual rounds of the crew. Pressly was excited to do this, same applied to Tanaka and Adams. We all knew this was a Court Marshall offense but we didn't care. It was for the sake of the galaxy.

The Combat crew all opted to ready themselves in private. There's nothing I can say to them now that I haven't said before. And we all have ample reason to fight Saren. Best for me to spend this time readying myself in my quarters.

Unsurprisingly when I went to Liara's space she wasn't there, meaning she's in my quarters. My guess was right, since I found her sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Nathan? May I speak with you?"

"I was just thinking about you."

"I was just thinking about you too. And what we are about to face. I do not know what is going to happen on Ilos. I hope we will stop Saren, of course, but part of me fears we are already too late. There is something I must tell you, in case we fail."

"I don't plan on failing."

"Please… I am not looking for comfort. Saren might already have the Conduit. It is time to be completely honest with each other."

"Okay,"

"These could be our last moments together. Our last chance to show each other how we feel. I want this to be special."

A chill ran down my spine when she said those words. I know exactly what she means, I know what she wants to do but… can I actually go through with it. I know she's a virgin who's scared to die, so this could be her last chance to have sex but…

"Um…" I stuttered. The few times I've done so in the past has led to me hurting my partner. I've never killed anyone, but I've badly bruised them, in one case I fractured her shoulder, but Liara doesn't know that.

"I also know that your experience with sex has been horrific, so I want you to know that's not what I'm looking for," she countered before I could deflect the question.

"Then what do you mean by special?" I wondered.

"I want us to meld. But not in the way we've done so in the past. I want us to truly become 1."

"What does that mean? I thought our melding was the only way to do it."

"No this is different. When I melded with you in the past I looked into your mind. A true union is one where our minds are one. Like when two rivers flowing separately converge and become one stream. Our nervous systems become intertwined and we lose ourselves in another. Memories and emotions weave themselves together, becoming a single, rapturous whole. It is unlike any other experience. In some cases, it can be a truly life-changing event," she explained.

"Wow, that does sound special," I replied leaving it open ended, desperately trying to find a way out of this. That's what the woman posing as Samara told me.

"It is a connection that transcends the physical universe," she declared and for a split second I could remember what the woman posing as Samara said with perfect clarity

#######

 _I was dressed by some weird ceremonial garb, my face and chest marred with red body paint. The colony leader had bought my life outright, meaning they didn't care if she killed me or not. An asari monster was perched on a thrown wearing golden dress and jewellery alike. She smiled at me predatorily, lusting to have her newest meal. The sea of dead bodies leading up to her was haunting, especially since they had the same clothing and markings as me. I don't know whether it's because of the conditions I was raised in, but the smell of dead bodies didn't bother me in the least, in fact it made it feel more familiar._

 _"Uma thr'ais t'rala Ardat-Yakshi," the other asari chanted as I approached their ruler._

 _The closer I got to the fake Samara the quicker my stride, something about her presence made me want to be with her, but I resisted, her very being was like the drugs the salarian flooded into my system, pulling me in but as with the scientist I resisted with every fibre of my being._

 _Why am I fighting this? Is it because I fear my death? But why should I live?_

 _Every day I awake to the screams and tears of my fellow slaves. I am abused, raped, beaten, shocked, poked and experimented daily or I get worked to exhaustion. Why would I fight to keep that existence?_

 _Death is my only true liberation from this cursed life. I should embrace it with both arms and finally find peace._

 _I took my place besides the ruler before she lead an asari prayer._

 _"I am going to introduce you to a world of pleasure beyond anything you could ever experience," she said before kissing me._

 _"We are going to form a bond so great that it transcends even the physical universe. Embrace Eternity!"_

 _Those were the last words I heard before our foreheads touched. The pain she caused me was indescribable. An electrical pulse was sent through my body, frying everything to its core. At first it felt amazing, euphoria and ecstasy at a level I couldn't fathom. But then my skin felt like it was on fire, my lungs felt like they were filled with acid, my heart was on the verge of exploding out of my chest, then the cold set in._

 _My fingers and toes felt numb but pricked. My ribs were bitten by a tundra like cold, my heart shrank, my thighs shattered, my nails rippled._

 _Then my senses were in a state of disarray. I could no longer see things as they were, colours were in the wrong place, I could taste threw my skin, I could smell through my tongue._

 _My brain was beginning to shut down. Memories were fading._

 _But unfortunately, I was still alive…. And I had to endure another two times._

#######

I shook my head violently, in a pathetic attempt to shake the memory off. No never again. I can't do that to myself ever again.

"I… I can't Liara," I panted. I backed myself against the wall and slid to the ground biting my own fist. Pain…. Yes, this pain is real… I'm not back there anymore.

"I'm sorry Nathan, I shouldn't have brought this up," she apologised, slowly approaching me.

"Stay back!" I hollered. "I don't want to hurt you," I warned.

Come on what the fuck. I made so much fucking progress ever since Liara found out. Why am I acting like a rabid animal now? If there was anyone in this galaxy I could trust with anything it's her. She deserves an explanation. We only have an hour until we reach Ilos, if we're going to do this it's now. But can I handle it.

"Back when I was a slave… I was sent to an asari colony. They tried to kill me. They used a knife to carve a symbol into my arm, then they marked my face and body with the blood they extracted from the symbol. Then they sent me to this woman… she was surrounded by dead bodies… I melded with her and um… it was horrible, it damn near killed me," I confessed.

"That's the most pain I've ever been in and the thought of voluntarily doing it makes me sick," I continued. I wanted to die, but instead I was tortured. Torture resistance training in N7 was nothing compared to what that thing did to me.

"Nathan… I saw that memory. That thing you melded with is an Ardat-Yakshi. She suffers from a genetic disorder which means whenever she melds with anyone, her nervous system overpowers theirs. It normally kills the person with whom they meld whether it's a true union or not. And the fact that I never did that when we melded is proof that I'm not one of them."

"Well…" I sighed

"I'm sorry that I suggested it. I shouldn't be upsetting you so close to the most important mission of your life," she said regretfully. I looked at her eyes and try as she might, the disappointment was clear as day. She really wants to do this.

This means everything to her.

She's been through a lot in just the past day let alone the last few months. She's had to battle the idea of killing her mother and she barely brought it up. She's been dealing with that herself and me being so self-absorbed with my own problems I never asked her until moments before we fought her.

And she's listened to my confessions and problems ever since Talitha. She has always tried to help me deal with whatever I was feeling, always trying to ease my nerves, my anger, my feelings about my past. All while battling the thought of killing her own mother.

I was such an asshole to her when she joined and remembering how I treated her makes me wince. I treated her like scum, rubbish that needed to be disposed of. But she's proved to be so much more. She's become the best thing in my life, and she's never asked me for anything. Yet all I ever do is ignore her pain. I always put it off and decide the mission is too important.

Well it's time for that to change.

If there is one person I can trust in this universe with my mind and body it's Liara.

I'll table my apprehension for her. I'll let her in my mind. But maybe we shouldn't get physical. I'm afraid I could hurt her like I did the others.

"No, Liara I trust you. Let's do this. Let's meld," I declared.

She didn't question it. I don't think she wanted to give me a way out. She offered me a smile that told me, thank you I need this. I kissed her gently and brought her down to the bed. When we broke she had the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen on her face.

"As long as I live, I will always try to make you smile the way you do now," I whispered.

"And as long as I live, I will make you feel loved," she whispered.

She scooted up so our foreheads were touching. "Are you ready?" she asked, to which I nodded.

"Embrace Eternity!" she proclaimed, her eyes became a familiar black, but I fought my instincts.

~x~x~x~x~x~

 _The next thing I knew I was in the middle of space, holding Liara in my arms in front of a blue sun._

 _"What is this?" I asked._

 _"Our shared conscious. Our space."_

 _There wasn't much here beyond the blue sun. But the atmosphere was serene and calm. It smelt like freshly cut grass and morning dew. I could feel a cold breeze wash over my face, gently caressing my skin. The air was cold but it wasn't bitingly so, yet it was refreshing._

 _In the distance, I could see the outline of a man in front of a swing set, his arms leaning against the upper frame. The image was slowly getting clearer and it became clear that the man was well built. What also became evident was how at peace and happy he was, portrayed by his bright grin._

 _Then two children ran cheering in excitement towards the swing. They began to argue about who could go on the swing set even though there were two. Maybe they were arguing over who the man would push, I couldn't make out what they were saying. The boy was clearly older than the girl, and I'm guessing that's a father taking his son and daughter to the park._

 _Unsurprisingly the father began pushing the daughter, causing the son to cross his arms in a tantrum. The children's faces began to come into focus the more I looked at them. The similarities between the father and son were uncanny, but those with the daughter were less so. The girl looked very familiar to me._

 _The son looked eerily familiar. His complexion, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose… that's me._

 _But I don't ever remember that. No matter how hard I try, I don't remember anything for my capture. I don't remember ever going to a park and playing on swings with my family…_

 _My family..._

 _I had a family…_

 _A sister… a father…_

 _I don't want to see this anymore and in the blink of an eye the picture disappeared._

~x~x~x~x~x~

 _"Nathan, you control this space too, I can't see anything you don't want me to see. And you don't have to see what you don't want to remember," she explained, before pointing into the distance._

 _Then we spent a long time looking at Liara's memories. She showed me her family gatherings, her graduation from Serrice University, her nieces birthday parties, some of her most intimate moments with Benezia and more._

~x~x~x~x~x~

 _A young, toddler Liara wearing a hardhat flak jacket and omni-tool toy running through across the grass in a park. The hardhat and jacket was slightly oversized, which tells me it wasn't hers. She had a plastic spade in her hand. She was struggling to run with all on her hands, and the hardhat occasionally going over her eyes._

 _She settled on a spot in the park and started digging. There were kids in the park running around playing with each other but none approached Liara, some of the parents looked at her with untrusting eyes._

 _The instant she started digging they scoffed and turned away from her, and Liara could tell they didn't like her. It hurt her but she wouldn't let that stop her from having fun._

 _She continued digging and made some good progress. She stopped then she hit a rock. She picked it up and grabbed her omni-tool toy._

 _"This is Dr Professor Liara T'Soni. I've found something huge. The protheans left this artefact for me to find. There are going to be more. A Doctor Professors work is never done," she said in a news anchor voice._

 _Before she could continue, she was yanked by her arm onto her feet painfully._

 _"What do you think you're doing? This park is for everyone and you think you can just do whatever you like," the woman seethed. She was a parent. The other asari adults looked at her approvingly._

 _"I am playing archaeologist."_

 _"Well just play normal games like the rest of the kids here. Goddess!" she said in an exasperated tone._

 _"B-but, this game is fun. And the other kids don't-"_

 _Before Liara could finish her sentence, another asari grabbed the parent by the arm. "Unhand my daughter this instant," Benezia snarled._

 _"Matriarch Benezia, control your brat. She's such a bother."_

 _"Firstly, T'Suzsa if my daughter is causing trouble, you tell me about it and I'll handle it," Benezia countered._

 _"We wouldn't have to deal with her ourselves if you're parenting skills matched your ability as a leader," T'Suzsa rebuffed._

 _"And if you ever lay your hands on my daughter again, or if she ever comes to me crying because of something you said to her. Then no goddess will ever forgive me for the pain and punishment I inflict on you," Benezia threatened. "The same applies to any of the other banshees you call friends," she spat._

 _T'Suzsa was so gripped with fear that all she could do was nod. Benezia was an unusually powerful biotic so she wasn't to be trifled with._

 _Then she turned to Liara, concern evident in her eyes. "Are you alright?"_

 _Liara nodded. "We need to have a talk about you playing archaeologist in the park when we get home. But as soon as the stores open tomorrow, I am going to buy you some history books. Let's see if we can transfer some of that enthusiasm into something productive."_

~x~x~x~x~x~

 _The images disappeared and again it was just us and the blue sun. Everything in this space really is shared. Including our emotions, because I could feel everything as Liara had felt it. I could feel her love and admiration for Benezia, her fear of T'Suzsa and the pain of being neglected by other children. There was also the pain of Benezia's loss. I didn't know she felt this much pain._

 _"Liara, thank you for showing me this. Can I show you something?"_

 _"What is it?"_

 _I brought my lips close to hers but I didn't let them touch. "Can you feel that?" I whispered. I really hope emotions here work the way I think._

 _She nodded, and soon I was enveloped by a warm, comfortable feeling. Soon after I felt a sense of pleasure spreading through my body. It was intense but not disconcerting, almost like a when I used to take vidilicet, but without the sting. It was amazing, like nothing I had ever felt before and it was ours._

 _Whilst we were in our space, away from the troubles and problems of the galaxy. Freed from the stress and responsibility of this arduous, thankless mission we share only a few words. Words that captured the essence of that moment and this warm feeling._

 _"I love you."_

* * *

 ** _AN/_**

 ** _Sorry for the sporadic updates._**

 ** _I'm 99% sure that the next chapter is going to be the last one and it's told from mostly Rylees POV. I'd rather focus on elements not covered in the game, I'm more motivated to do that than just rehash things we all already know happened. It's going to be filled with cameos of characters introduced in future mass effect games and the good thing is I've already written a good portion of it._**

 ** _There's also going to be a sequel that covers parts of the two year interval between ME1 and ME2 and I've also written some of the 1st chapter._**

 ** _Thanks for reading this far. Tell me what you think so far._**


	26. Die a Turian

**[2 hrs after the Normandy's Escape]**

"I'm not sure you understand the consequences of lying to us Miss Shepard."

"It's Lieutenant and I'm not lying to you officer, I've told you I don't know anything."

"We won't give you to your Alliance, you will be charged with Obstruction and we will imprison you ourselves," he threatened. Did he honestly think that I'm that easily intimidated or naïve that I'd crack under such threats?

"I've done nothing wrong, and you still haven't told me why I've been arrested."

"We found you in a restricted area, near a security breach which allowed the Normandy to escape."

"That's the first I'm hearing of the Normandy's escape," I replied calmly. It's true, that's the first time someone has told me the Normandy escaped.

"You don't sound very surprised by that?"

"How does me being surprised by that, help me in my situation?" I evaded. Making C-Sec angry was surprisingly entertaining. Remember Rylee, try and be evasive. You just need to buy time until either Nate returns or Blake comes for me.

"So, can you explain what you were doing in a restricted area. One which you have no clearance to enter."

"My friend wanted my help on a story she was doing on Citadel Traffic Control, she thinks they're being overworked and wants that to be exposed."

The interrogator sighed in frustration, rubbing the ridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "So, you expect me to believe that Agent Anderson, managed to regain control of the Normandy without his 2nd in commands knowledge."

"Navigator Pressly is the Executive Officer not me. I'm just another soldier on the ship."

"Yeah, that would explain why he'd leave the extra baggage behind," he spat, hoping to get a rise out of me.

"I want to talk to Chellick."

"You're a detainee, you don't get to make demands," he rebuffed.

"If Chellick knows what's good for him, then he had better show up in 5 minutes."

"Just who the-"

Before the aggressive Turian could respond the door opened revealing the more experienced detective. He looked tired and annoyed given his laboured stroll.

"What do you want Shepard?" he asked while rubbing the ridge of his nose.

"To talk, somewhere without cameras or listening ears," I sneered at the Turian interrogating me.

"Fine, come with me to my office."

I stood up and followed Chellick out of the room. C-Sec appeared busy today, Nate's breakout caused some chaos amongst the ranks. That lone elevator to the Alliance docking bay proved costly and allowed them to escape quickly before anyone could take action.

"What is it Shepard?"

"Release me and the rest of RED Security."

"And why would I do that? Just because we slept together before doesn't mean you have any pull with me," he dismissed.

"That's not what I was going to say," I smirked. "Jaxx, Jenna and Rita."

His mandibles tightened and he sighed audibly, his shoulders remained stiff and unmoved and his gaze hardened. "What about them?" she inquired sternly.

"No games Chellick. How do you think the public would react to finding out that C-Sec put an untrained 17-year-old girl in danger by having her spy on violent criminals? How would your superiors react to finding out I'm the one who really caught Jaxx… huh Captain Chellick?"

He must really be enjoying the perks of the promotion that case got him. He's lucky I intervened when I did. He caught Jaxx 6 months ago, just before I joined Nate's crew. If he hadn't 'arrested' Jaxx before we turned Chora's Den into a warzone, he probably would have bailed and Jenna might be dead.

"You've got some guts to think you can blackmail a C-Sec officer."

"Well-"

I was interrupted by a sudden explosion and the entire station shaking. The sudden jerking sent me to the ground, and the shaking didn't stop. In fact, it was becoming more violent. It was like an earthquake was shaking C-Sec to the core. The table skidded away from me and towards the two-way mirror. The lights on the ceiling were threatening to fall over our heads and the unmistakable sound of gun fire could be heard even from here. Could it be Saren?

"What the hell is going on!?"

An officer ran into the room. "Sir, the geth are attacking the Citadel."

"No, no, no this can't be happening. How did they get past the fleet?" I shouted.

"They didn't. Reports say that they are currently in battle with the fleet. They're pouring out of the Mass Relay monument on Presidium."

"That thing is acting like a mass relay!?" Chellick exclaimed.

"And the security mechs have been hacked, their killing everything in sight. Our officers are mobilising in the wards."

How can that be possible? That thing is just a statue isn't it and why didn't anyone ever notice it's a relay. We already know most of the network and where everything leads so how did the geth figure it out.

Wait a second, Conduit… that means a channel, a link. "Shit that's what the Conduit is. Chellick you need to get everyone with a gun out there fighting. And warn people around the presidium. Saren Arterius is on the Citadel."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"The Conduit on Ilos is a back door to the Citadel, that's where Nate and his team went. If the Geth are here then so is Saren. He's probably after the Council."

"Where are you getting this information."

"This is what we were trying to warn the Council about but they didn't listen," I screamed. I stood and ran out of the room.

"Chellick, the SPECTRE requisition office is near here. I'm going to need access to the gear." I demanded

"You don't have the clearance."

"Do you really think that matters right now! I need weapons and armour if I'm going to fight the Geth and so will the rest of RED security. We have experience using the equipment and there is bound to be some asari armour I can use."

"Fine, get her to the requisition office, I'll release the some of the detainees, we're going to need all the help we can get."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The blasts did some real damage to C-Sec academy even though it wasn't hit. It caused some of the monuments to fall to the ground as well as the lights. The ground was covered in broken glass and luminescent liquids, some of which had caused a fire that the sprinkler system struggled to cope with. But that's not my problem right now.

I took a set of armour that resembled the one I normally used when I'm on a mission and the HMWSR, HMWA and HMWP. During my preparation, I heard a small group of people enter the room with Chellick in tow.

"Is that it, what happened to the rest of them?" I sulked.

"They're spread throughout the Academy and Wards, these guys are the only ones I can get for you," Chellick defended.

He brought with him two humans, two of whom looked even younger than me and that's worrying. They must have been recently enlisted. Well it's either they fight the geth or get killed by the Reapers. Fuck you Saren.

"How old are you?"

"19," the girl replied.

"And you," I turned to the boy.

"We're twins. But you can clearly see where all the looks went," he smirked.

"Really Scott, now is not the time," his sister scalded. I'm willing to bet she's the older one.

"That's enough out to the both of you. Get suited up and meet me at the entrance."

"Yes, ma'am!" they saluted. So, they were in the Alliance briefly. But why go from there to a private security firm. It's not like there's a big pay rise or anything.

I walked out of the requisition storage area only to walk into a mountain. A literal mountain wearing high grade armour as well as the bones of those unfortunate enough to try and climb it.

"This where the weapons are!?" the Krogan asked.

"Yeah." I replied, sending him on his way. At least we're going to have some more experience on our side. I'd hate to have him as an enemy.

I could hear Chellick shouting at someone through his comms so I went to check it out. "You're kidding right. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, shit! We have other concerns at the minute, but the moment this is over, we'll send a BOLO out." Chellick growled.

"Problem."

"Yeah, one of our detainees was in the wrong cell, so when the RED Security people were released so was the convict."

"Then arrest them later, we have other problems."

"This convict is incredibly dangerous. We might not be able to arrest her again this time."

"Worry about that later, we need to get to the Council and get them to safety. Along with any civilians along the way."

"I need you to focus on the Council, me and my men will focus on saving civilians. Any innocent people you find, I want you to send me their coordinates and I'll have men pick them up and bring them back here."

The fucking Council. As useless as those stupid bastards can be, we need them. If the Reapers show up, we're going to need a clear chain of command. That and losing them would be a massive blow to the morale and organisation of the very galactic community they've endangered with their inaction.

"Alright, I'll take the Krogan and two humans with me. I work best with a small Commando unit," I agreed. Chellick took off out the station and judging by the number of footsteps I hear he's bringing a small army to take the streets.

"Quick introductions, I'm Lieutenant Rylee Shepard,"

"Sara Ryder,"

"Scott Ryder,"

"I don't care what you call me, you're probably going to die here anyway so what's the point," he shrugged while fiddling with his shotgun. He reminds me so much of Wrex it's unreal. Wrex said the same thing to Tali when the mission started.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not dying today. Now tell me your name," I demanded. Krogan respect backbone and forcefulness, especially from humans.

"You're pretty bold even though your squishy, do you know you're mostly water?" he growled.

"Still strong enough to kick your old ass," I smirked.

He observed me briefly, taking in my size and stature and more importantly trying to see if I was full of shit. Luckily, he looked amused. He looked at Scott and Sara and started laughing.

"I like you human. The name's Nackmor Drack."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 **[2.8 hrs after the Normandy's Escape]**

For a make shift squad, we worked surprisingly well with one another. Drack was a one man wrecking crew, charging head on into crowds of geth and walking out the other side wearing a piece of them on his necklace. Scott and Sara's inexperience wasn't too much of a factor. In fact, they remind me of myself at their age. They've been trained, even before they enlisted, like me one of their parents was probably Alliance and gave them some training growing up.

My mom made sure I was trained to use weapons at a really young age, after Ethan went missing and Dad was killed, she became really paranoid that something would happen to me.

After leaving C-Sec, the first few battles went off relatively smoothly, I found a good position and resumed sniping like I usually do, but I mainly focused of backing up Sara and Scott and left Drack to his devices. The two of them were biotics with a good amount of power. For a direct comparison, I'd say Scott was similar to Nate and Sara was Liara. He was reckless and dived head first, whereas she stood back and picked her targets.

Chellick told me that the Council were trying to get to the Destiny Ascension and they were currently in the Zakera Wards. Looking for a shuttle to get off the ground.

"Be on the lookout for any shuttles we can use once we find the Council," I instructed.

"FLY BITCH," an aggressive female voice growled. In her tone was the unmistakable sound of pleasure as she a geth Armature flew over our heads.

We rounded the corner to find the area a complete mess. The artificial trees had either been uprooted or set alight, debris and wreckage from the battle was all over the street. Yet despite the carnage, the first thing I noticed was a small human woman standing on top of the burnt remains of a car with a Geth Pulse Rifle in her hands.

She was covered into tattoos from head to toe, wearing a black vest, with desert cargo pants, with burn marks and holes from the battle's she's been involved in. She bore her teeth for the galaxy to see with that carnal, sadistic grin, hopping off the car and landed ungracefully on the ground and her combat boots made a loud thud.

"Dammit Jack, give me some warning next time. That throw of yours almost had me caught up in it," her Turian companion complained.

"Relax Bonehead, if I wanted to send you flying with the bots then I would have thrown you too," she dismissed, she clearly doesn't care about teamwork or her companions.

"That's not the point. If you're going to pull that sort of shit again, I'd better be well and clear," she threatened, getting into Jack's face.

"See that's what I like about you, you don't take shit from anyone," Jack smirked, "And you're my only way off this garbage heap so I couldn't off you if I wanted to," she shrugged.

"Good to know I'm valued. But we're stuck here until C-Sec can fend off the geth fleet, so we may as well get comfortable."

Drack, Scott and Sara watched the whole exchange take place from a distance, but after a while Drack started walking towards the pair.

"Vetra, is that you?" Drack guffawed.

"Drack? What are you doing here, I thought you were on Tuchanka trying to get more Krogan."

"Kesh asked if I could pick up some supplies on the Citadel, but what about you, I thought you'd burst into flames if you left the Terminus," he guffawed.

"Actually, I'm here because I owe this one a favour," she sighed pointing at Jack. "I picked the wrong day to be a good friend."

"We're not friends Vetra," Jack spat.

"Then why are you helping her?" Sara asked.

"I killed a group of Cerberus fuckers who attacked me and her sister was dumb enough to try and help me."

"Either way I owe you one, and I always pay my debts."

"Your 'debt' is clear as soon as you get me to Omega."

"That's nice and all, but how about you two tell me if you've seen the Council so I can be on my way," I snapped impatiently.

Jack's eyes turned to me and her glare conveyed her suspicion, as well as the murderous intent. "You Alliance bitch? Because last I checked there aren't any human SPECTRE's," she snarled, analysing my SPECTRE armour.

"The name's Shepard, and what's it to you!?" I snarled back. Something about this woman just rubs me the wrong way. Not sure whether it's how she's speaking to me, or the fact that she's clearly a killer with no remorse.

"I don't like Alliance types."

"You're the convict Chellick told me about, aren't you?" I guessed, judging from her taking up an offensive stance, I'm right. I can see why she's dangerous, anyone who can do this much damage and throw an Armature like that is worth fearing.

"Relax, you're so low on my list of priorities that you barely register," I dismissed.

"Good for you. Now I don't have to smear the walls with a pretend SPECTRE," Jack smirked.

"Talk like that is how you move up my list of priorities," I snapped, before squaring up to her.

"Don't fucking make me laugh. Talking shit like that is how I end up ripping you limb from limb."

Scott chose to step between us with a nervous smirk. "Now I like a good cat fight as much as the next guy. But we don't have time for that now," he asserted.

"Kid's right, we need to find the Council," Drack agreed.

"I saw some guards going that way not too long ago," Jack pointed in the direction of Zakera Wards. "Now fuck off."

"That is some impressive biotic power you have. We could use someone like you in a fight you know," Scott suggested. I noticed that she looked completely uninterested in what he said but visibly scowled at the word 'use'.

"I told you to fuck off," she rebuffed.

"Can you join us? I doubt C-Sec is going to know who you are," Sara stepped in, causing Vetra and Jack to chuckle. Looks like someone is famous, well, infamous more likely.

"Even if they do as Rylee said, you aren't going to be a high priority. I mean look around us, this station is falling apart and they are going to be overrun by Geth. They have bigger concerns than runaway Convicts," Sara explained.

"She's right Jack, and besides it's not like we have better things to do. And we can't keep fighting at this pace forever, being in a group is going to help," Vetra backed Sara up. She may be the only person here who can reason with the convict. I need to do some research on her as soon as this is over.

"If I get even the slightest feeling that you're going to sell me out, I will decorate the Krogan's neck with your bones," she threatened.

Yup, I really don't like this woman.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

 **[3.5 hrs after the Normandy's Escape]**

Despite my dislike of Jack, I can't help but marvel at the amount of biotic power she possessed. I thought Nate was a powerful Vanguard but he has nothing on her, she's performing attacks that I've only ever seen powerful Matriarchs perform and she's no older than me.

The first batch of Geth we encountered she dealt with alone. In less than 30 seconds, a Prime, 2 hunters and 4 troopers were scrap metal. With a single primal roar, she charged into the middle of the mess on foot, unleased a singularity and 3 shockwaves and every hostile was down.

But as tough as she wants us to think she was, that flexing must have used a lot of energy. We met another group soon afterwards and this time I told her to stand back so she could rest up. But like a petulant child she pushed past me and headed straight for the group.

Drack knew what I was going to say and followed her, I found a perch and began sniping. Fighting with someone like Jack was an experience like none other. The fact that she was such like a hurricane tearing through the geth made things far messier. Her attacks kept forcing them to disperse, making it easier for guys like Scott and Drack, but for a sniper like me, it made me sort of redundant.

I had to take a more direct approach and rely on my HMWA and take the fight to the geth. She forced me to join the front lines and work on a facet of my combat skills I don't normally use. Hell, even Sara was starting to fight more like her.

Despite the advantages of having her around, it was obvious she wasn't a team player. She doesn't follow commands, refuses to acknowledge her comrades and she launches destructive attacks that could potentially kill some of us. Hell, it almost killed the Councillors.

Jack used the car they used to hide from the geth as a projectile to destroy a Prime that was causing us some real problems.

"Councillors, are you alright," I asked

"Lieutenant Shepard!?" Valern yelled in disbelief.

"No time for explanations, for now we need to get you three on to the Ascension as soon as possible."

"But how, there isn't a shuttle that could possibly survive the journey up there," Sparatus argued.

"Then radio the Ascension to descend to a safe enough distance that you can get aboard. Your only other option is staying down here with geth and hostile mechs. You decide," I clarified their options.

"You make a fair point."

"What is happening, how did the Geth manage to pull this off?" Tevos inquired.

"I don't have the exact details considering I didn't go to Ilos," I glared at the three of them. "But I'm guessing the Conduit is actually a link between Ilos and the Citadel, I don't know how but it likely is."

"You expect us to believe that?" Sparatus interjected.

"Look where not believing us got you Council. The Citadel is under attack, Geth are out there killing innocent people and your fleet is getting decimated," I seethed.

Valern returned to us with the news. The Ascension was to begin its descent immediately.

"Scott, Sara, take the Council up to the Ascension,"

"Yes ma'am," the twins saluted, running into the shuttle the Council had been trying to reach.

"What are you going to do Lieutenant," Sparatus wondered.

"I'm going to find Saren."

"Saren is on board the Citadel!" Tevos exclaimed.

"No time for chit chat Councillors, we've got to go," Sara bellowed.

Each member hopped into the shuttle with clear reservation, but I didn't care about that right now. I'd received word that Saren was spotted heading towards the Tower. This place isn't too far from the Presidium, but we'll still need a car to get there.

"Jack can you keep a barrier around a car for a few minutes."

"Yeah, why?"

"We won't survive very long flying to the Tower without geth tearing us apart,"

"Hey, we've already rescued the Council, our deal is thr-" she began but something else had caught her attention. She looked beyond me at the tower in awe. Sovereign was headed straight for the tower.

Something we failed to notice in all the commotion was the fact that the Citadel arms had started closing. And they closed just after the Ascension was outside its reach. I didn't see anything coming from the ship, so Scott and Sara are probably aboard with the Council.

"Fuck our deal. If we don't stop that thing, we're all dead."

"What the fuck is going on here Shepard!?" Vetra and Jack asked simultaneously.

"The end of life as we all know it?" I snarled. "Unless you want to die, you're going to shield us from geth fire until we reach the Tower, and you're going to help us stop Sovereign and Saren."

"This is the last time I ever listen to you Bonehead," she cursed at Vetra.

"I think this is the last time I'll ever set foot on the Citadel," Vetra agreed.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

[ _Nate_ ]

 **[3.6 hrs after the Normandy's Escape]**

This is some real nightmare shit. The entire Citadel is on fire and I can literally see Sovereign hugging the tower like a parasitic leach.

Learning everything that Vigil had to know was like a cold bucket of water to the face. The bracing realisation that everything you know is a lie that someone is allowing you to believe. The uncomfortable reality that we stand on the bones of millions of years of massacre. To be honest would have thought I was going crazy if it wasn't for the fact that Garrus, Liara, Wrex, Tali and Ashley were all there with me listening.

But I can worry about that later. The most important thing is that we need to get to the Tower and regain control of the Citadel before the Reapers arrive. As soon as we'd finished speaking to Joker I'd told him to warn Hackett and the 5th Fleet that the Citadel was under attack by geth. I even told him to head straight for the Citadel since the Conduit was going to take us there anyway.

Then not long after we crashed on the Presidium, Joker tells me that the mass relays were locked up. Meaning that Saren was in the middle of opening the relay and he didn't want any cavalry showing up to stop him. When I told him that, Sovereign had cut communications.

We fought our way to the tower, through an army of geth, and this was after one of the most intense battles I've ever had on Ilos. They just never seemed to end. Destroy one then three take its place.

"Hostiles, 2 o'clock," Ashley declared, taking out her assault rifle labouredly. The battles were starting to take their toll on us. I would have collapsed by now if it wasn't for my N7 training. I never thought I'd be so grateful to my damn instructors.

Before we could even engage, a skycar crashed through the glass and crushed the geth we were prepared to engage.

I saw the faint blue energy shield surrounding the car, so there had to have been a biotic on-board bracing for impact. The first thing to come out of the car was a Krogan who kicked one of the doors out. He was soon followed by a turian, who had an injured woman on her shoulders and someone wearing SPECTRE gear.

"Nate you're alive!"

"Are you really that surprised."

"You always were too stubborn to give up against a couple thousand geth,"

"Same could be said for you Shepard," Garrus praised.

"Urdnot Wrex," the Krogan acknowledged.

"Drack… can't believe your crippled, dusty ass is still breathing. Actually, I'm more surprised you haven't broken a hip yet," Wrex guffawed.

Drack replied with a laugh in kind, as well as a stern Krogan handshake, "Urdnot never were too bright, you're only a couple of centuries away from being my age Wrex, don't forget that."

"Someone's popular," Tali teased.

"Aw, is Tali jealous that I have more friends than her," Wrex replied.

"Give it a few minutes Wrex, you'll have a senior moment and forget you even met Drack," she quipped.

"Now isn't the time guys, I'm headed for the Petitioners stage to stop Saren," I declared, using my biotics to jump over the wreckage.

I was soon followed by Wrex, Rylee, Garrus, Liara, Ashley and Drack. I'm guessing the Turian is watching over the human.

I saw Saren tapping away at the interface from a distance and prepared to biotically charge at him, but as soon as I was ready to close the gap, he was gone from sight. We all ran to the platform and it became clear that the renegade turian had vanished.

Then we heard a low rumble. Saren appeared once more, riding the geth flying platform we had seen on Virmire. In that momentary glimpse, I could see he had changed. His eyes had a brilliant blue glow, as if they had been replaced by machinery. The same glow shone from inside his mouth, inside the crevices of his armour. Strange devices clung to the back of his neck, his chest and upper arms. He had become one with the Reaper's technology.

Saren hurled a high-explosive grenade to land unerringly in our midst. Reflexes took over and we dove for cover. I emitted a small scream as the force of the blast tumbled me in mid-dive. Once I stopped rolling, I realized I wasn't seriously hurt.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Anderson."

"In time for what?"

"The final confrontation. Ever since Virmire, I think we both expected it would end like this." Saren's voice sounded thick with satisfaction. "You've lost, do you know that? In a few minutes, _Sovereign_ will have full control of all the Citadel's systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return."

"You're going to die Saren, you won't be around to see them return."

"I will admit, I underestimated you. You've pursued me with cunning and tenacity. You survived our encounter on Virmire. You're a credit to the Spectres after all, but you are still _not my match_. I've changed. Improved. _Sovereign_ has upgraded me."

"You let _Sovereign_ implant you? Are you _insane_ _?"_ _Rylee cried._

"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Virmire I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About _Sovereign_ manipulating me. About indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. _Sovereign_ sensed my hesitation. I was implanted to strengthen my resolve. Now my doubts are gone. I believe in _Sovereign_ completely. I understand that the Reapers _need_ organics. Join us, and _Sovereign_ will find a place for you too."

" _Sovereign_ is controlling you through your implants. You would never believe anything like that if you were in your right mind. Can't you see that?"

"The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strengths of both, the weaknesses of _neither."_ Saren stood proudly, his arms spread wide. "I am a vision of the future, Shepard. I represent the ultimate destiny of all organic life. It can be your destiny too. Join _Sovereign_ and experience a true rebirth!"

"I'd rather die than live as a slave to the reapers," I shouted.

"Then you will die, and your companions. Everyone you know and love, everyone you've ever met. Don't you understand, you will all die."

"As long as we're still breathing we haven't lost. _Sovereign_ hasn't won yet. I can still stop it from taking control of the station. Step aside and the invasion will never happen!" Rylee reasoned.

"We can't stop it! Not forever. You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful." Saren's voice rose to a horrible rasping shout. _"Nothing and no one can stand against them!"_

I turned, half leaning out of cover to stare at Saren directly. "Sovereign is going to get rid of you the second you aren't useful anymore. I bet Sovereign wants me alive doesn't he. _"_

 _I took his silence and stern expression as a yes. "That's because it sees me as more useful than you. Sovereign wants me indoctrinated because it thinks I'll do a better job than you Saren. Can't you see? They use people and discard them the moment they're no longer useful," I argued._

Saren hesitated. "I had no choice you saw the visions," he pleaded.

"You gave up like a coward," Garrus interjected venomously.

"Surrender or death, there are no other choices."

Rylee crouched next to me, absolutely disgusted by Saren's rhetoric. I knew exactly what she was going to say and nodded in approval.

"Live on your knees or die on your feet!"

He broke off, crouching, his hands at the sides of his head, grunting as if in horrible pain.

" _Aah!"_ Saren twisted, almost falling to his knees. "The implants! _Sovereign_ is too strong. I'm sorry. Even if you're right… it's too late for me."

This time it was Garrus who chimed in. But he opted for a more direct approach. He got out of cover and stood in front of him with all bravado and anger.

"You call yourself Turian. Don't insult me or my people by saying we're the same. You have lived like a husk, a drone, a hollow vessel that the Spirits don't even acknowledge. You are a failure," he hissed.

I instructed Rylee to line a shot up just in case Saren tries anything funny, before joining Garrus' side.

"There's a way to stop this, but only if you have the guts," I added.

"This is the only you can at least die a Turian," Garrus acknowledged.

Saren stood still, like a dreadful sculpture of himself, for several long seconds. Then he spoke again, his voice suddenly calm and at peace. "Spirits forgive me. Goodbye, Shepard, Anderson, Vakarian. Thank you."

The turian's right hand swept up, holding his sidearm . . . but not to point at Garrus or myself. He did the galaxy a favour and in his last act, he showed he still had some honour. The pistol found its mark under Saren's own chin. It discharged. A gout of blood and brain tissue flew to the side, as the bullet blew out a great patch of Saren's skull. The dome over the Council's garden shattered under his weight.

"At least he died a Turian," Garrus spat, but his words were hollow. He's not even sure if he believes his own words.

I ran to the control panel Saren had been using, opening his omni-tool along the way. The rest of my crew followed. A few moments to upload Vigil's file to the Citadel, and I had taken control of the Citadel.

"The file worked. I've got control of all the station's systems, at least for now."

"Quick, open the ward arms," Liara suggested. "Maybe the Citadel fleet can take Sovereign down before it regains control."

"Can you open a communications channel?" asked Ashley.

I tapped away at the terminal for a moment. Then we heard an asari voice over the channel, chopped up by interference. "...the Destiny Ascension, main drives offline. Kinetic barriers are down forty percent and falling rapidly. The Council is on board. I repeat, the Council is on board."

"Normandy to the Citadel," Joker enquired, good to hear another familiar voice. "Please tell me that's you, Commander."

I smirked, "Were you expecting anyone else"

"We caught that distress call, Commander. Normandy is here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet, but we can't activate the last relay to reach the Citadel. If you can unlock the relays from there, we can save the Destiny Ascension."

"That's bullshit, Commander," said Ashley. "You can't bring in the Alliance until the ward arms are open and we can concentrate on _Sovereign_. Why throw away what might be our only shot at this, just to save the Council? It's their own damn fault we're in this mess."

"That's true," I heard Wrex agree.

"We're going to save them,"

"What!" Ashley looked at me in disbelief.

"Opening the relays, Joker. Tell Admiral Hackett to come through _now_. We need to save the _Destiny Ascension_ , no matter what the cost," I said monotonously.

"The Council is the only galactic government we have. Even if we beat _Sovereign_ , the Reapers may find some other way to return. We can't be divided when they arrive?" I reasoned. I'm all for revolution as long as the time is right.

Ashley seemed to accept my reasons, she wasn't happy with the decision, but she could understand why it was made.

"I hope the Council appreciates the sacrifice," Ashley asserted.

"The only way to find out is to make sure we're all around at the end," said Rylee.

We couldn't see the battle; we only heard a few scraps of the comm traffic from outside the Citadel. all we could do was wait and hope that they can stop Sovereign. We've done our part, now it's up to them.

"Destiny Ascension _, you are all clear_ _,"_ said Joker.

Admiral Hackett broke in, his voice sharp with command. _"_ The Citadel is opening. All ships, concentrate fire on Sovereign _."_

Above us, out the great window behind where the Council would stand, we could see the immpressive power of the Citadel Fleet and the Alliance. The stars acted as a fitting backdrop for such a grand battle. Their vanguard turned in space, and then they pounced on _Sovereign_ from all sides, like a swarm of stinging insects attacking some enormous thick-hided beast. This one is going to cost a lot of lives, but this is only the beginning. The reapers are coming, and we must all be willing to die to stop them.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

[ _Rylee_ ]

 ** _Log [May 11, 2183]_**

 _The battle with Sovereign proved incredibly arduous. Sovereign had taken control of Saren's implants and his speed was frightening. The only way we could hit him was by trapping him in some sort of biotic field and firing everything we had at him._

Sovereign had even managed to pin Liara to a corner, with every intention of killing her. But before he could do it, a huge shard of glass fell on its body, destroying the skeleton.

 _Soon after the skeleton was destroyed, the real Sovereign followed suit. However, we were also hit by its debris. As if it were from a hero flick, Nate emerged from the rubble with Liara hand in hand, when everyone had thought they were lost. The whole thing was caught on camera too, and the flames from Sovereigns body made the lighting perfect._

 _The Councillors for the 1_ _st_ _time actually seemed sincere in their thanks. They thanked Nate and me personally and vowed to honour the lives of the Alliance soldiers who died._

 _Surprisingly enough, humanity was even offered a place on the Citadel Council. Nate even endorsed Udina to be the first human Councillor much to the Ambassadors surprise._

 _It was a crazy few days that's for sure. In just two days, my boyfriend died, my friends mother died, the Citadel was invaded and we managed to save the galaxy._

 _But now we must focus on the future. We must stop the reapers no matter what. And I truly do believe that the Council and the Alliance will come together and with their help, Nate and I can stop the Reapers. There's nothing that can stop us and no one capable of taking us down._

 _I know it's been a while since I wrote to you… but I really do miss you and I wish you were here now…_

 _You'll be hearing a lot more from me Ethan, I promise._

* * *

 ** _So that's it for Mass Effect: Past, Pressure, Future._**

 ** _I'm more relieved than anything to finally have this finished. Thank you to anyone who's reviewed, favourited or followed this story, I really do appreciate it. It made me want to continue writing this story and they also provided me with helpful hints on how to improve my writing._**

 ** _I hope you liked the MEA and ME2 cameos in the final chapter, I liked writing Jack and Rylee's interactions. Just so you know, Jack is going to be a prominent character in my ME2 story._**

 ** _I'm planning on an ME2 sequel, but before that I'll do a short series on what happens after ME1 ends, mostly centred around Rylee. If you have any questions or suggestions you can PM me._**

 ** _And just a quick insight into Rylee's state of mind in the near future._**

 _-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_

 ** _Log [July 21_** ** _st_** ** _2183]_**

 _Fuck the Council and Fuck the Alliance and everything they stand for!_


End file.
